


Evenings without supper

by Budinca



Category: Glee
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-23
Updated: 2012-11-27
Packaged: 2017-11-19 08:21:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 92,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/571168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Budinca/pseuds/Budinca
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While Jeff was drowning in video games and comic books on the 2nd floor, Nick was trying to put his CDs and tapes in order on the 1st floor. One day, they got a chance to talk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Eat, clean, sleep

**Author's Note:**

> I am paranoid so I'm going to put this here too.  
> If you're a new reader, may God bless your soul.  
> I can count on one hand the number of time I've held a Nintendo DS in my hands. (Spoiler: less than 3 times)  
> This is hopelessly geeky or so I hope.  
> Bless you.

The pen moved so fast against the screen that anyone else would have thought it was done for. “Wow, how did you do that?” a redhead leaned over his shoulder, pale blue eyes goggled at the portable console and humming appreciatively.

“Lots of evenings of practice,” Jeff grinned from his seat in the corner of the common room and went on to the next level. His friend smiled too and went to the chair beside him, taking a comic book out of his messenger bag and losing his mind in it.

Dalton was snowed in. Well, not really, but the wind had been forceful enough to cut off their electricity in the middle of their fourth class that day. Nobody bothered to call them back again, so now the uniform boys just strolled around, killing time in between lunch and dinner. _Or sleep, some of them might sleep too_ , Jeff thought, glancing under his bangs at his colleagues.

Thanks to Miles, who now was serenely reading a brand-new copy of Scott Pilgrim, he hadn’t had any meeting with that action for – now – two days, he glanced at the clock, as if it was going to tell him the date. As if he didn’t know how hard his body was aching for sleep and when it all started. He made the ginger play all the Mario that he possessed and the other drowned him in Marvel comics.

_We’re like a geek duo_ , he thought, only to punch himself mentally after that. _We **are** a geek duo_. It wasn’t that bad. The boys in their school had, somehow, miraculously got over that phase when all they did was pick harmfully on each other. The jokes remained, the atmosphere softened.

“Oh, there he is!” another voice burst out in the slightly crowded common room and the blond raised his eyes, behind his black-rimmed glasses, to meet another’s.

The other teen stopped in front of him, wavy brown hair a little fuzzy from the fast pace he kept until then. Cade was his English literature partner, but what was he doing there? Jeff narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him, knowing that he didn’t stay in the dorm.

“This is Jeff,” Cade motioned and from behind his shoulder appeared another teen, who nodded, recognising him. The blond did the same and put his Nintendo down, waiting while smiling somewhat awkwardly. That was Jeff, always socially awkward from the first four seconds. “This is Nick,” the boy continued, making the latter step forward, in plain sight.

He knew Nick. For once, they were both Warblers and they had had their small – very _small_ – portions of _small_ talk there and, in the second place, mostly everyone knew Nick. Or so he heard. Or so he had chosen to hear. The dark-haired singer wasn’t spectacularly popular, but he was nice. _Friendly_ , Jeff explained in his head. Did he want them to be friends? He had been over that many times before and _yes_ , that was what Jeff wanted.

“So we were talking this morning and Nick hasn’t seen the Dragon Tattoo. I offered, but he’s currently in his ‘legal’ state so he keeps away from any piracy. Didn’t you have the original?” Cade ventured, talking animatedly to him, like he always did and making Nick laugh at his tone.

“Ah, yeah, I do. It must be...there...somewhere...?” the blond trailed, shifting his head robotically towards his roommate, who only lifted his eyes from his book and smiled sheepishly at him.

Nick grinned at both of them before speaking. “Well, it’s no hurry. There’s still time ‘til winter holiday.”

“He understands, you don’t want to see his room,” Cade put a hand on the boy’s shoulder, but resumed to whispering unsubtly and not low enough to Jeff. “He has all this ancient tapes and CDs of bands nobody heard about thrown all over the place.”

_No, I don’t_ , Nick retorted mentally, raising his eyebrows at his friend, who only gave him an innocent smile back. Like most of the times, he just let him go at it; it was one of Cade’s favourite activities, after all. And it was interesting to see the process of it all, how a hit with his wardrobe’s door could become an almost mortal injury in less than a few hours. Not only once did his friends expect him to be in hospital or dead for eight hours.

Soon enough, they were out in the hallway again, the brown-haired teen determined to finish all his ‘duties’ before going home for the day. In between two series of begging for homework, though, Nick slipped from his proximity and went unsuspiciously on his way to his room, putting his earphones back in as he reached the stairs.

_If you’d been human, I would have dated you..._ , he murmured to his iPod, stopping for a moment afterwards to analyse his words. That didn’t sound right. He shrugged anyway, starting to hum the chorus from _Stayin’ alive_ absently, surprised at the lack of people in that part of the Academy.

As he reached the first floor, he unlocked his door and stepped inside, glancing once again at the second bed in there. His roommate had been on a leave of absence for almost two weeks now and, from what he saw of him in the hospital, he wasn’t going to be back until after the holidays. More room for Nick. More boredom for Nick. At least the Warblers had some sort of plan for their free week which they – strangely – made to sound quite _safe_.

As safe as a group of teenage boys under the _same roof_ , at a _mountain_ resort, during _winter_ could be, at least. He doubted that he was going to come back unharmed. _My parents wouldn’t even believe me if I did,_ he scoffed, picking up his tapes from the bed. They were far too accustomed to his ‘school injuries’ already. Fortunately, they never got worse than a broken arm. _And **that** was the only accident there was_ , he added, soundlessly.

o0o0o

“Jeff, man, where did you put it?” Miles turned hopelessly to him, shoulders fallen. If Cade dared to say something about their room earlier, this was ten times worse.

Jeff was halfway through his clothes, throwing them everywhere, sliding under the bed to gather some more, shoving his board and video games aside until he, finally, let himself fall, on top of everything, on the bed. An old version of Final Fantasy was hurting his hip, but he let it stay there as he inhaled the dust in the air.

“Oh, it was here,” came his friend’s cheerful voice from the other side of the room and he could only see a hint of the lost book under the other’s schoolbooks before his roommate was gone, running for his life – or better, for the life of his comics.

But he couldn’t be bothered to hunt him down right now; the lack of sleep was yet again getting to him. A miracle, really, for the others not to say anything about the dark circles under his eyes. _Then again, most of us have something to keep us up all night these days_ , he worded before scratching everything up. _Maybe it’s not all night for everyone_.

With one last effort, the blond got up, his body heavier than ever and started shoving his clothes back into the drawer, folding them as best as he could. His mother wasn’t going to be impressed by his domestic skills anytime soon.

_CDs, CDs now...,_ he ran his hand unthinkingly through his hair, not bothering to care if he looked like an albino hedgehog for the next couple of minutes. “Oh, right,” he voiced out, waking up a little more and rummaging through a cardboard box. _Nick’s film_. “Come on, I know you’re here...” his hand stopped on the right one and pulled out the grey carcase he was looking for. He didn’t even know why he had bought it in the first place; _The Girl With The Dragoon_ _Tattoo_ was most distinctly not his type of movie.

_Just say you got lucky_ , came the reasoning and, for a while, he accepted it. At least, until he started to question its true meaning. Jeff glared hard at the wooden floor for quite some time then, almost scaring the surrendered Miles out of the room again. No, he was lucky. There was no need to hide that the opportunity to talk more to the dark-haired teen made him happy. Really happy.

But so did many other things. “Supper?” he turned to the redhead, who only grinned, as if he hadn’t been in mortal Jeff-danger just a minute before. He reached under his bed and tossed his friend a Mars bar, continuing his evening lecture. “We really need to clean this up...” Jeff added after his first sugary bite, looking at the chaos on the floor.

Miles only nodded absently, already laid down on his stomach in his piece of serenity. A loud thud resonated from the first floor, but as no screams followed, they both ignored it.

o0o0o

After allowing the situation a few seconds to sink in, Nick glared unbelievingly at the top of his wardrobe, where a space showed the absence of a box. Of course it did, since its contents had just landed on his head, knocking him to the floor.

“Dude, you okay?” he heard coming from behind and when he turned, Thad was a few steps from his open doorway.

Nick sighed – which was enough to show his friend that he wasn’t, yet, dead – and got up, dusting his shirt and trousers and then smiling calmly at the other. “I’m fine, I’ve been warned a few times already,” then he looked at the CDs on the floor. “I hope none is broken,” he leaped forward, starting to rearrange them in the box.

_How can you even exist...?_ Nick goggled at a particularly old CD and soon he was lost for the world. Luckily enough, Thad was more than used to his sessions of obsession and he stopped talking after a couple phrases. Something about girls or _...curls_? The room’s occupant wasn’t sure; he had never been a good multi-tasker.

“Okay, Nick. Bye! Don’t refrain yourself from visiting if you get lonely in your...room,” the boy called, marching slowly to the door and elongating his every word, even if he knew he was not listened. With one last almost pitiful smirk at the brunet, he exited the room. “Oh, hi, Jeff!”

“Hi...” the blond grinned clumsily and waited for Thad to disappear at the end of the hall before knocking at Nick’s open door.

_Maybe I shouldn’t have hurried_ , he grimaced at himself and then at the DVD in his hands, folded closely to his chest. He could have waited for a few days, maybe even the weekend and tell Nick he still hasn’t found it yet so they could have had something in common to talk about at Warbler practice or at lunch. That would’ve diminished his awkwardness, or so he hoped.

But then again, Nick could have just taken it from someone else and that wasn’t cool. If Miles was to hear him now, he would’ve said he hadn’t over-thought something this much since he purchased his Xbox last year. _I should have waited_ , he repeated, _but I’ll get over it_.

At the silence that followed the knocking, Nick looked over his shoulder to see Jeff. “Yeah, sorry. Come in,” he got up and pushed some tapes out of the other’s way. “Looks like Cade was right about me,” he hid his faint embarrassment behind a grin that even made Jeff’s heart light.

“I-I’ve seen much worse,” the other rolled his eyes, his fingers fidgeting at the movie’s wrapper. _Oh, right..._ “Here, it was just lying there,” he half-lied.

Taking the DVD in his hand, Nick turned it over and absent-mindedly looked over the description, leaving Jeff to play somewhat restlessly with the sleeves of his baby blue sweater. “Um...” the taller one mumbled when the silence trailed – in his opinion – for too long and the other glanced up, a small smile still on his face as if it was glued there. “Do you-...do you need help?” Jeff grinned awkwardly, gesturing to the messy floor around them.

_Come on, Jeff, be f-r-i-e-n-d-l-y. That’s what makes people want to be friends with you_. Nick blinked a few times, acknowledging the fact that the other was still present. Usually people were just leaving him to it when he dozed off – which was far more often than it should – but, right, Jeff didn’t really know him that well. _I wonder why that is_ , he thought. Jeff seemed like someone he would get along very well with.

“Not really...” _Hey, weren’t you saying something about getting to know each other two seconds ago_ , an inner voice mocked, incredulous. “But, yeah. I need to put that back,” he gestured to the fallen box and then at the wardrobe and the blond nodded.

“I think I can reach that.”

“Thanks. Let me put these back first.”

 He went back to the collision point and the other followed, praying to every God he knew not to trip on anything. For a moment, he pondered whether to kneel too and help, but a runaway tape brought him to his knees in an instant.

“Dude, you have like, this relic Bee Gees tape,” he exclaimed, raising it to his face and almost knocking his glasses over with it. “How is it not fossilized yet? I half-expected it to turn to dust,” he rambled on, excitement pure in his eyes.

“That...” Nick started, staring at him. “Yeah, that’s old,” he laughed, then went to his desk and took another one from a drawer. “This is even older.”

“Get out!” the blond gasped before he could stop himself and grabbed the new one with his free hand. The dark-haired boy beamed even harder as he sat back on the floor, near him.

He hasn’t got to meet any new people in the campus since their freshman year and this felt strangely nice and new. Because that was almost all there was to Nick; the CDs, the tapes and the occasionalrecords. As Cade often mocked him, he wasn’t that interesting after you got over his collections. _Now I wish I brought my tape deck_ , he frowned a little, reminding himself to get it back from the house sometime during the holiday. Preferably, after the mountain escapade, just to be safe.

“Are you a fan?” Nick asked when he thought the other was calm enough to hear him. _Not all people shut off reality, Nick_ , something in his head scolded him again.

Jeff’s brown eyes turned toward him along with an apologetic smile. _Don’t lose your head around normal people, man_ , his mind also admonished him. “Not really. I just...get really excited around cool stuff,” he forced a laugh. “Sorry...,” he mumbled lastly when the other returned to arranging the CDs in the box and he tried to help him.

“No reason to be. Actually, I’ll keep these ones out,” Nick smiled reassuringly and shoved the leftover disks under his bed. Inwardly, he most likely feared that the box was going to be too heavy, but he managed to convince himself he _needed_ those CDs down. _You never know_.

_Okay, I have up to ten seconds to think of something to say. Go!_ Jeff got up and – slowly – took the box in his arms, walking – slowly – and minding the floor until he faced the wardrobe. _Did you see anything? Damn, I should have read all those band names, maybe there was something I liked too._ That would have been a good idea, indeed, but he couldn’t resolve to it now, so he raised the box carefully above his head, letting his loose sleeves fall and expose his arms almost up to the elbows.

Maybe Nick wanted to watch the movie now. Would he be invited? Well, it was his movie so the other must have expected him to have already seen it. _Which I almost did_ , he frowned at the box, standing on his toes and pushing it with his fingertips. _Why would they put things so tall in our dorms?_ _Oh, I’ve done it._

“Done,” he turned and added uselessly, keeping his hands in his pockets now. “Are you going to watch that now?”

The brunet glanced up at him from where he sat on the side of the bed. “I don’t think so. Is that okay? If you need it, I can ask for it next week.” How he could talk so clearly while never breaking eye contact was a mystery to the blond, who only shook his head.

“No, I’ve-...” _seen it before. Don’t say that._ “I have to catch up with Miles’ Marvel collection first,” he grinned, balancing his weight from one foot to the other. _Wow, we really talk_.

Nick bit his lip unconsciously, looking at the floor and then raised his eyes again. “Well, if you finish until next week, we can watch it together,” and his expression added the mandatory: _If you want to_.

_Oh_. Jeff winced and stumbled into Nick’s desk when his foot hit a chair he definitely had not seen until then. Inhaling deeply to ease the pain and to keep a poker face on at the same time, it was really hard for him not to jump. That was a habit he did not need in this situation, but his stomach was so warm with pride and happiness. _I did it. I don’t know how, but I did!_ His impression hasn’t been so bad that the boy didn’t want to know him anymore. Oh, it was better than Christmas.

Be that as it may, he couldn’t keep a cool appearance if he had to talk at the same time. “Yes, definitely. I’ll finish it...and if I don’t, I’ll get away somehow,” the blond beamed childishly and then worded an excuse to leave when he feared he was going to put his foot in his mouth. Like he always did. Excitement and sociable Jeff never worked well together.

 


	2. Lindsay was a fraud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick's day is disturbed by someone else's date and David is being persuasive.

To Miles’ disapproval, Jeff slept soundly that night without accepting any objection to his plan. However, after staying up for another couple of hours, just to show his rebellion, his roommate fell asleep too, causing both of them to be late for class the next day.

Just to add to that, the blond couldn’t be talked into any sort of activity the next two days of school, as he spent his time either scribbling disorganized pieces of homework or reading his friend’s comic books like his life depended on it. Miles only raised his eyebrow at him a few times, before catching sight of the same person’s abandoned Nintendo and filling his free time with it.

He acted like he didn’t know better, but to him it was disastrously evident; his friend was distracted. Or, maybe, he was consciously distracting himself from something. When weekend came and they decided to stay inside the dorm for the day – too much snow outside and too many cosy places inside – he saw the haze over the other’s eyes has somewhat lifted.

“What’s up?” the ginger put his pen down on his notebook and looked over at him.

In the silence of their room, Jeff snapped his eyes fully open and blinked rapidly at his friend. He hadn’t really been thinking of anything in particular; he just had a strange sensation all over his body that was keeping him from concentrating. It was neither good nor bad, but it was there, as if keeping him prepared for something.

 _I hope I didn’t miss any convention..._ , he glanced at the calendar on his desk, then back at the other person in the room. “What?”

“Exactly. I’m bored,” he threw the notebook and the books on the floor, now sitting cross-legged on the bed. “Let’s do something.”

 _But what...?_ Jeff narrowed his eyes and closed his still unused notebook too and then just resolved to clean his glasses while the other put his thinking cap on.

o0o0o

Even for February, the weather was too cold. It wasn’t even snowing anymore and the air was dry and the constant wind that was hitting his face did not make Nick a happy man. There he stood, alone in front of nothing else but a _Mall_ , looking around for any familiar faces. Even his ear-buds were frozen over, or so he felt them, while _Little Lion Man_ started playing.

Cade should have been there already, his house was by far closer to the shopping centre than Dalton Academy was. And yet, here he was, running late again while letting Nick turn to ice outside. He tried going inside, but the crowd was depressing him.

“There he is!” someone grabbed his shoulders and he jumped off the ground, turning to look incredulously at the disturbance. 

 _What is he...oh_. A look over Cade’s shoulder made him almost regret going out that day. _Why can’t he go on his dates like a normal human being?_ He glared at his friend, who caught his thoughts and only smiled, pleadingly.

“Hello, Jane,” he waved with his gloved hand and the brown-haired girl refrained from smiling bitterly. _I’m not more pleased than you are, but we have to deal with him, right?_

“I’m sorry, did you wait long? I had to go and get her too and...” he saw he was digging his own grave. “Right. Let’s go, shall we? It’s freezing.”

Although Nick couldn’t agree more, being inside didn’t make him feel better at all. It was hard to be oblivious and accepting towards your friend’s ‘love’ life when it was happening right beside you. In the agitation, he even had to shut off his iPod, which most distinctly made his mood fall. At least, whilst it was on, he could almost pretend they were having a double date.

“You two stay here, I’ll get the tickets,” the brown-haired teen left them suddenly at the plastic table in front of a Fast-Food and disappeared in the cinema’s direction. It was as if that boy was made of bad moods and goofy jokes. _You don’t leave your girlfriend to stay with your friend at a table while you buy tickets!_ Even Nick knew that, although he never dated to the day.

From the way Jane was almost fuming, he could tell she was thinking the same thing. “He’ll get it one day,” he tried, smiling at the girl, without lifting her mood. For all she knew, he was guilty too. “I-I didn’t know you were coming...” he added, finally receiving a sigh from her part.

“Me neither. I’ll make sure to ask him next time,” she played with the straw in her drink, grimacing all the way.

“Yeah, me too. Listen, I can make something up-,” Nick was almost out of his chair, his mind already building a totally unreliable excuse.

Jane dismissed it by waving her hand in the air. “It’s no use now, just try and enjoy yourself. I sure will,” her last words were heavy with bitter sarcasm.

The boy seated himself back down, focusing on finishing his drink while waiting in that uncomfortable silence. When Cade started dating Jane, he was always wondering how bad could he be, as David was always picking on his dating skills. However, when Nick became his ‘guest’ at these outings, the only remaining questing was _How come she didn’t dump you yet?_ Right now, he just knew. The girl liked his friend too much to do that.

“Right, let’s go,” the other returned, grinning widely while showing them the newly purchased tickets.

o0o0o

It didn’t take them long to be caught with nothing to do in the campus. As always, people were always needed. Everywhere. Jeff wasn’t even at the bottom of the stairs when David called out to him and Miles all the same. He knew immediately that they weren’t going to get away easily now.

“You guys free?” The older Warbler asked when they reached the ground floor. The blond looked over at his friend and saw his thoughts reflected there. No use to even try to lie.

“Ah...yeah. Do you need help with something?” Jeff voiced, since he was the one that actually talked with the boy a few times before. David grinned and showed them to follow him.

 _I don’t like where this is going_ , the other Warbler thought, seeing as they were approaching the main hall and there weren’t many things they could do around there except-

“-so I was thinking of this song yesterday morning.”

“David.”

“Yes?” the dark-skinned teen turned and beamed his sunny smile at them both.

Jeff kept a happy expression on his face too, pushing his glasses back on his nose and getting his fringe out of his eyes. He knew he had no chance of winning, but he could try. “It’s Saturday.” Miles nodded.

“And I’m at school. Don’t worry, most of us aren’t even here, so we’ll take it easy, okay?” his smile didn’t falter. _That workaholic..._

His roommate stayed quiet and just waited for the right moment to escape and go God-knows-where, but as soon as he mumbled a good-bye, both Jeff and David caught his arms and dragged him back. Just because he wasn’t a Warbler didn’t mean he was going to be spared. A few silent quarrels later, the three of them entered the Warbler Hall.

“So...” Jeff picked up some sheets from a couch and ran his eyes over them. “What song?” But David was gone. He looked around and then at the redhead, who just took a seat in a chair and motioned to the door in the other part of the room. Sure enough, a few seconds later half of their glee club rolled in through there, looking as bored as they were.

“I was thinking of something different,” his colleague came back after the others and searched through his bag.

Some of the newcomers crashed on the unoccupied seats, some just stood and waited this to be finished with. To be fair, they liked to, since they weren’t in the club just because they had been brutally forced to – Jeff’s case was one. In his freshman year, Wes caught him humming under his breath once and didn’t give him peace until he auditioned – they enjoyed it too.

This time, it was just... _Well, it’s Saturday_ , the blond waited for an answer calmly, biting unconsciously on his lower lip and yet again feeling tense. If he could just remember why, how good that would have been.

 _Oh..._ , he looked around the room. _Nick’s not here_. Well, he usually wasn’t in the dorm during the weekend. At least, not where Jeff would’ve seen him. He shrugged. It wasn’t a big deal; it wasn’t like they’d talked too much in the last two days anyway, even though Jeff could feel a change. He smacked himself mentally again for not being the one starting the conversation. He just kept inventing dialogues in his head and only too late remembering he hadn’t said a word.

David took the right sheets out and came over to him. After another look around, he saw that their lead singer was absent too. But there was no way Jeff would be lead. No way. He could almost feel an imaginary cold coming over him. Not really; he was going to do it.

“Mr Brightside,” the older one grinned.

Blinking, he took the papers in his hand. “Is that even possible?”

“With Thad’s approval,” David whispered, putting a hand on his shoulder, conspiracy-style. “You mock us, sir. Of course it’s possible.”

Jeff grinned now, contemplating the lyrics in front of him. “Aaron will be surprised.”

His accomplice waved the statement away and pushed the sheets to his chest, counting the people in the room. Giving Miles one look that could have for all he knew even been a wink, he made him raise his eyebrows, but stay silent. The blond was almost sure that he felt as if David would have him in the chorus if he ever did as much as moving his mouth. And maybe he was right, Jeff snickered, already feeling excited for finally getting a – true, improvised – solo.

“He’ll be fine. If he doesn’t want it, but you’re good, we might change our playlist. And lead singers,” David grinned. “Okay, you. Go there and do what Trent does,” he nudged Miles off the couch, leaving him speechless for a few moments.

“Wait, what? I don’t sing!” The redhead flailed, trying to run in the opposite direction.

The other only pushed him harder to the small group of singers. “Then convince me.”

o0o0o

Nick had no idea what he was doing there. _This movie is long..._ He shifted uncomfortably in his seat as the other two, the intimacy of the darkness getting to them, chose not to pay any more attention to the screen and concentrate it on themselves.

 _Samantha? Would Samantha be a good name...? It’s got to sound plausible_ , he frowned at the motion picture, once again considering lying the next time his friend invited him anywhere without mentioning a bigger group. He once tried inventing a Lindsay and it didn’t work.

“So, how was the movie?” Cade grinned goofily when they got outside and Nick used a lot of willpower not to glare at him.

“Great, just like you said,” he answered instead.

 _Well, it’s afternoon, I think I can make a subtle exit and just go_ , he glanced sideways at the two lovers after checking his phone. And while he was there, he turned on his iPod too, just for moral support. _Now the question is, to smile or to look high? Oh, that almost rhymes!_

“I think I’m going now,” he voiced out and the brown-haired boy immediately goggled at him.

The same one, though, stopped himself before making too pleading a remark. “Y-you sure?” And Nick nodded, patting him on the back and giving Jane a reluctant kiss on the cheek.

Turning towards the nearest exit, he put the other ear bud on too, increasing the volume. However, as he hid his hands in his jacket’s pockets, preparing for the frozen air, and felt his mobile phone there, he stopped in his track and jogged in the other direction. _What are you doing, Nick?_ His mind hummed in a lousy tune just as he caught up with his friend again.

“Hey. Do you have Jeff’s number?” He even showed him his phone to be sure he was understood.

Cade looked puzzled for a moment, then just shrugged and scrolled through his contacts. “Here,” he gave it to his friend to copy.

“Okay. Thanks. See you at school,” the other typed rapidly, then returned the device and fled again. He looked at the new contact, but decided to wait until his hands were in the safe interior of a heated bus.

Meanwhile, back at the school, despite every protest he ever made, Miles was actually making his voice resound in the Warbler Hall. Jeff could have bet his roommate was going to slack off and just lip-synch the others and lose everything in that case.

“ _Jealousy, turning saints into the sea_ ,” he sang clearly, taking his stunned eyes from his friend, deciding against mocking him for it. He realised that it was a lot more comfortable like this: singing without the uniform. He always felt strained and way too formal in that blazer. Maybe this was David’s plan after all. And maybe this was why their lead singer was always unbuttoning his shirt at the top and throwing away his blazer before rehearsal.

Just as he reached, for the tenth time that day, the end of the first chorus, the blond felt his phone buzz inside his pocket and trailed on the last words. Without stopping the others, he slipped away, while David pushed someone else to sing the lyrics, and got out in the hallway. _Who on Earth is this?_ He stared at his ringing phone before picking up.

“Yeah?” he could hear a slight rattle from the other end.

“Jeff?” Taking a better hold of a chair, Nick asked, almost falling over a dog – what was it even doing there? – when the bus driver took a turn harder than he should have. “I got your number–”

“Nick?” The other ignored his sentence and just cut through it, using probably too much incredulity with his tone.

“Um...yeah. Are you busy?” the brunet finally settled into a cold chair, safe from other manoeuvres on the road.

“No?” _Why do I keep asking questions?_ “I mean...no. Where are you? David called for a Warbler practice...” he let the rest of his sentence fall, hopelessly looking back at the door.

Nick stifled a snort. “He did? Won’t he ever learn? What are you guys doing?” he smiled at nothing in particular, taking the phone in his gloved hand now.

 _He means the song, right?_ “Ah...Mr Brightside,” and before Nick could make any comment. “We’re just experimenting.” That sounded odd and he grimaced at a curtain.

At the other end, the boy raised his eyebrows in wonder. “Aaron accepted that?” Because, yes, their lead singer could sometimes be a pain when it came to song selection. It just depended on the day.

Jeff swallowed, only now feeling his dry mouth. “No, he’s not here.” He could practically see the unspoken question now. “I’m singing it.” Nick opened his mouth to express something, probably a mix of surprise and strange delight, but the other continued, uncertain. “It...it sounds okay.”

“I’m sure of that,” he grinned, the small accompanying chuckle getting over to the other side and looked outside the window to get an idea of where he was. “I’ll get there in twenty minutes or so, maybe I’ll still catch you guys at it.” Yeah, he would have liked that. Jeff never tried for the lead.

A loud chorus of ‘no’ rang abruptly through Jeff’s mind. “Ah, I don’t know. We’ve been at it for almost three hours already. Not really doing anything, but – ...” _Was that a sigh?_ He hoped it wasn’t a sigh. _Jeff, that really sounded as if he wasn’t welcome here_ , a cruel, but truthful voice whispered up there _. I could hold them here for a little longer_ , he tried the phrases in his mind. “I...”

“Okay then,” Nick laughed instead, shifting the phone again. There wasn’t nearly enough heat in that car to stop him from trembling. “Next time, I guess.” Even though this was the last weekend before the holiday. Sometime, in the near or distant future, there was going to be a next time. _Right?_

Jeff, on his end, kept silent for a couple of seconds, deliberating whether to go back or to ramble more. Nick’s tone was suggesting the first choice, however and with a good reason. Why talk here if he’s coming back anyway? “Um, then...I better go back,” he tried.

The other couldn’t feel his feet. “Yeah. See you there,” he smiled to keep his teeth from rattling until the other ended the conversation, then put his phone back and resumed to rub his hands together. _I’m not made for public transportation_ , he breathed over his frozen fingers, wishing once again that his car existed.

o0o0o

“Guys, how long are we gonna –” Jeff entered the room calmly, closing the door behind him, but was caught off guard by the sight inside. _It doesn’t even sound half bad_ , his eyes widened, watching his roommate and Trent sing lead in front of him. _They must have bribed Miles somehow, but_...

“...oh. OH! Cut, cut, I haven’t done anything!” Miles jumped from their proximity, almost hiding behind a couch.

“You know that’s for movies...” David grinned smugly at him, leaning over a chair. “You were saying, Jeffie?”

The Warbler’s complexion became sour for a moment and then he crosses the room to them. One look at the others’ faces signalled that he was going to have back up, so he sighed, acting tired. “Aren’t we done yet? We spent more time here than we did all week.” The Warblers nodded and murmured in agreement.

His dark-skinned friend glanced around, then at his phone and shrugged. “As if you didn’t like it. Okay, everyone. In Wes’ absence, I declare you all dismissed,” he turned to the others, mocking Wes’ tone at the end and making them laugh.

“Hmmm.”

“Shut up,” Miles snapped quickly when they were making their way upstairs.

Jeff grinned, catching up to him. _You mocked me for a month when I joined the Warblers, you’re not going to get away that easily_. “We were just talking last week that we would do nice with some new members,” reaching the second floor, he started to walk backwards, as to see his pissed off face in full splendour.

Oh, but his roommate couldn’t keep it up for long. After a seconds-long staring contest, he laughed and opened their room. “With a voice like yours and with Aaron’s changing disposition, I bet you do.”

“So come!” He landed back in his unmade bed.

“Not in a thousand years!” the ginger laughed it off, making some room on his bed to lie on.

Taking off his hoodie and straightening his white T-shirt afterwards, Jeff chanted and looked at the ceiling. “I will wait you for a thousand more,” and a heavy pillow landed on his head with a thud.

o0o0o

Yet another thud could be heard in the school grounds too, when the sun was almost setting, its last rays making the ice beam in orange. “Ouch...” Nick massaged his head, which he had enough instinct to duck, softening the impact. Cold, frozen and now hurt; this wasn’t his best day.

He passed by the Warbler Hall to see it was empty, nodded to some less known colleagues and went on his way to a hot shower. One of the best parts of rooming alone for a while was the relatively clean state in which he managed to keep the bathroom.

After abandoning his day clothes on the bed and flexing his fingers until he could feel them well enough to turn on the shower, he let the water fall forcefully on his body, making him blind for a while. Soon enough, it seemed that his blood started flowing correctly again and he sighed at the relaxation that crept through his body.

 _Which one is this?_ He pushed his wet hair off his forehead after he ruffled it with a towel and took the CD in his hand. Nothing new, he always bumped into things he didn’t even think he bought. _This looks cool..._ , he glanced at its interior and then it hit him like a whoosh of ‘oooohs’.

Thankfully, the marble floor on the hallways had been replaced with carpet a few years back so now Nick could hurry his pace easily despite being barefoot and almost tripping over his _too_ long pyjama pants. He was safe from a concussion, but not from the cold air that was running through his damn hair. His only hope remained his strong immunity system.

“Ah...” the next floor greeted him with sarcastic closed doors and a smirk of quiet laughter. Maybe he was already having a fever. Not possible. _Okay, Nick, which one is it?_ He looked at each door in turn and used his memory to cast every one of them two boys. Yeah, the list was drastically shortened now.

That one was in quarantine last year, so this had to be it; he counted while whirling the CD in the air. Shrugging, he knocked softly at the second to last door on the right.

“Hey.”

“H...ey?” Jeff raised an eyebrow before glancing at his wet hair and loose PJs. “I bet it’s cold out there,” he remarked, but lost his tongue before the next part. _Smart move, Jeff_. He swallowed hardly. “...right,” he laughed awkwardly when Nick only waited, with his soothing smile on his face and let him go in.

“Hello,” Miles simpered over his book at the unusual visitor and was answered in the same manner. _It’s cold and late._ _Yeah, this is too random a visit_ , Nick shifted on his bare feet, suddenly self-content with his appearance. His hair was probably a perfect cuckoo’s nest by now.

“You might want to see this,” he held the CD out and Jeff took it promptly, analysing the cover with the speed of an R2-D2. “You said you liked cool stuff and this looked pretty...well, cool,” Nick laughed half-heartedly, unconsciously embracing his arms at a colder rush of air. Where was it coming from, anyway?

A sparkle wandered over Jeff’s brown eyes and he grinned broadly at him, still holding the disk. “This is gold. I don’t know what it is, but it looks _awesome_. You think we can still play it?” Behind him, his roommate snickered at his childish excitement. But Nick was there, he couldn’t start a squabble to save his life.

“We can try. Did it end well today?” He probably meant the rehearsal. _Right? Right_. Jeff shrugged, looking around at nothing.

“It was okay, but I think it’ll be safe to stay out of David’s way tomorrow, he was on a roll.”

Nick grinned, eyes twinkling with amusement. “Did he have the gavel?” And he won a laugh from the other too.

Their friend always hunted down Wes’ instrument of power when he knew the other was going away for the weekend. Fixing his glasses back on his nose, however, the blond shook his head.

 _Okay, I can’t take this anymore, it’s freezing!_ The black-haired teen stiffened with a shiver and eyed the other apologetically. Catching on, Jeff smiled in return. “I’ll go dry off...”

“Yeah,” the taller one tousled his blond hair without looking at him and then raced back and forth to the bed. “Oh. Here, take this,” he handed him a rather thick comic. “I finished it yesterday.”

Nick raised an eyebrow when he didn’t add anything after that, but nodded once he saw the look on the other’s face. “Thanks.” If Jeff thought it good, then it must have been pretty damn good. At least he had something to do now.


	3. Encrypted data

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The scary, scary movie night approaches. And attacks.

Not even the extra-sweetened orange juice could make the bitterness of his stare go away. The worst part was that it wasn’t even noticed. How could it be, since those _monstrosities_ were getting all of it? Groaning in his buttered toast, he made the other raise his brown eyes in wonder.

“Dude, you’re _always_ eating that stuff,” Miles pointed, almost with disgust, at the milk-drenched, golden circles in Jeff’s bowl. “...do they even taste like food?”

As if out of spite, the blond took another mouthful while he listened. “I don’t like chocolate,” he pointed at his empty bowl and left him open-mouthed until the other seats at their table were being occupied.

“Who doesn’t like chocolate?” David asked, putting his plate of French rolls down. Miles hinted at his roommate.

On the other side, a newly arrived Wes goggled at him, but kept a cool attitude nevertheless. “Well, that’s a first. Be sure not to let the others know, you can become a social recluse.”

“Please,” Jeff rolled his eyes, digging in his cereals as unaffected as before. “How was your weekend, Wes?” he grinned and the others did too, their eyes evil when the senior became flustered and mumbled an ‘okay’.

“He’s not telling us anything just in case she won’t pick up her phone in the next 36 hours,” David winked at them and ended up being glared at by his best friend. “Just tryin’ to help,” he used his puppy eyes.

“I’m sure it’s gonna be okay, Wes,” Miles stated matter-of-factly. “What?” he raised an eyebrow when he caught the others looking at _him_.

“Got something to tell us, M?” Wes patted him on the back, snickering, already forgetting about him being the victim just a minute before.

It only ended in an even stranger expression from the boy in cause. “What? No!” he fussed.

“He’s been reading romance novels lately,” Jeff let out an amused whisper to David, who smirked at Miles.

“I’m not having this discussion with a Cheerios eater,” the ginger stated blankly, making them laugh long enough to change the subject.

o0o0o

“Are you pissed at me or have you something on your mind?” In the other half of the room, the brown-haired boy tried, glancing for a moment with intrigued grey eyes at his friend.

“I was wondering if Captain Jack would ever make it back,” Nick stated, jaw moving in his palm and gazing at the other side of the lunchroom. Not even he knew what he was looking at. He was too sleepy to focus.

“Man, you’re _far_ behind with that one,” Cade smiled, spreading butter and jam over an early-sectioned bun.

Nick sighed and was only blinking forcefully and catching a glimpse of blond hair far in the distance when an unbuttoned blazer blocked his view. He didn’t even look up; he was making a mental note to ask Jeff about the movie later that day. Being the last week before the holiday, they were both freer, due to the lack of schoolwork and more pressed by time as they needed to gather their things now. All in all, he thought Wednesday was a good day for it.

“Morning, Snickers,” he heard a voice and murmured a salute in response, turning back to his sandwich.

“Haven’t seen you around much later, mate,” Cade smiled, evidently pleased with the arrival as the one in cause took a seat near him with only a mug of coffee for breakfast.

“My life’s busy,” he sighed dramatically, almost getting a roll of Nick’s eyes. Almost. There were times when Aaron’s drama came to good use too. Not now, but Nick was too distracted to care. “How’s Jane?”

 _Bad question_ , the brunet thought, downing almost all of his apple juice.

“Ah, she’s fine,” Cade tried to answer airily, but he wasn’t the type to talk freely with his girlfriend’s ex. Not about her, anyway. The rest...could be accepted since they were too good at being friends. “Still together,” he coughed when the blond eyed him curiously through his long, dishevelled fringe.

“Right,” the same one turned in his seat. “Nickers, rehearsals?” He looked at him expectantly, sipping his coffee.

Nick gave him a faked smirk. “Keep trying and soon enough you’ll get it. Had one on Friday. And apparently on Saturday too.”

“You guys managed without me?” the lead Warbler voiced, affected.

“Yep,” the dark-haired one put down his empty glass. “Thad and Jeff sang.”

“Jeff sings?” Cade burst out, eyes wide, but not as wide as theirs when they turned toward him.

“He’s a Warbler,” they echoed each other.

The boy shrank under their stares, drinking his tea. “R-right...”

o0o0o

If Jeff was ever to find out about that slipped fact, Nick was sure to be hit with a fake lightsaber in the head. Repeatedly. It took Aaron less than twelve hours to decide that yes, he was going to pick on his substitutes, for the fun of it or just to show them that he was still content with his place in their group.

So here they were now, when the day had almost passed, in the Warbler Hall, having an official meeting. It was called that just in case they were to end up talking about the song choice and not sing. In fact, it was a normal practice session, with the exception that all of them were present.

 _Who put me here? I knew it wasn’t a good idea. Why did he say that? Me, lead? Not like I wouldn’t want that, but I was never going to duel for it!_ Perhaps Jeff was worrying too much. No, he _was_ worrying too much. There was no duel involved, nothing close to a threat had been said, but Aaron just felt the need to show him he knew.

 _Just let me play my harmonica..._ Jeff begged in his mind, trying to escape the Warbler’s smirk and rolling his eyes at the ceiling. From their group, Nick was nervously biting his lower lip, glaring from time to time at the top singer to stop making lame jokes. He could almost feel something very hard and heavy with some sort of guilt smack his head, but he just didn’t know it was the ghost of the lightsaber.

In the end, they sang and Aaron felt it mandatory to keep with the Saturday song, just to give the other’s terms of comparison. He was good, of course he was, but Nick still felt the need to hear the other variant too. He considered asking Jeff when they were alone, wherever would that be, but the purely terrified look the blond had on his face all this time made him think of traumas.

 _Remember_ , a mental post-it fell from his brain. _Remember what?_ The song was almost over and they were going to retreat to their rooms soon. He glanced around and looked at nothing, waiting for the thought to arrive again. _To ask about the movie_ , it rushed by his face and for a moment he almost caught it. He didn’t. He forgot.

o0o0o

“Run!!” they turned a sharp corner to the main building while still trying to button their shirts and put on their blazers. The tapestry was mocking them and the first bell rang quite a while ago too.

“Don’t lock me in the bathroom the next time!” Jeff voiced indignantly, falling slightly behind to throw his tie over his shoulder.

Always. Always like this. Monday was a calm, breakfast-eating day when they had close to an hour to get ready; Tuesday caught them in bed.

“I didn’t! It just wouldn’t open!” Miles groaned, running his fingers through his hair and making it stick insanely up. They kept running, passing by closed doors.

o0o0o

A piece of paper landed ungracefully on Nick’s desk during his fourth period. Frowning for a second, he grabbed it when the teacher turned his back to them, going on with his historical speech. If only this hour would pass faster. He had Jeff’s comic in his bag and, as he had to return it and lunch period was just after history ended, he figured he would still try and ask him about tomorrow.

 _That’s what you get when you lose your brains on the floor, Nick_. Unfolding the paper, he met his friend’s handwriting and looked at him on the corner of the room. Cade only smiled and urged him to go on. _Well..._

_come to my place tomorrow?_

_nothing to do, mum will drive us in the morning._

Nick tried the puppy eyes on the paper. They didn’t work and hopefully none of his colleagues had seen that. Okay, so he now had to explain this. _You know, Nick, he could say no…,_ he tried to reason, but that wasn’t comforting at all.

He had plans and he was going to tell Cade just that. Whether they were going to be followed was another thing and that wasn’t important. What could he say, after all? What, where, with who and maybe not even that.

Maybe he was having a little paranoia. No, he most distinctly had. _It’s not like I’ll keep doing this, after all_ , he thought. _Too many movies, Nick…,_ the other voice rolled its eyes at his drifting apart theories. _Pete’s sake, Nick, it’s only a movie!_ He snapped his eyes open and blinked furiously. Damn, he was having conspiracy theories again.

 “Why not?” Cade caught up to him on the hallway after class was dismissed and he only got ‘I can’t’ for an answer.

The other sighed loudly, taking one silent ear-bud out and looking out the corner of his eye at his friend. “I’ve got plans. I think I do...” he added lastly, glancing around in different classrooms in hope of finding who he was looking for.

“Hm? What plans? Another make out session with your iPod? Seriously, man, you should start using protection every time you listen to music,” the brown-haired student laughed at his friend’s bitter smile and then stopped alongside him.

“I’m watching that movie...with Jeff,” he added insecurely on the inside but calm on the outside, but then was surprised by Cade’s raised eyebrow.

“Jeff? You really get along? I mean, right, his movie, but…” Nick waited, raising his eyebrows in turn when the other grasped for words. “I don’t know, he just seems so…airy.” _Airy…?_

 _Oh, there, there, Nick!_ He saw the blond on another corridor and just shrugged at Cade. It wasn’t that big of a deal, after all. “Don’t wait for me,” he addressed his friend hastily before disappearing in that direction too.

Nick skittered by his other colleagues that were making their way either to lunch or to the dorms, trying without success to stuff his iPod back in his pocket. _I’m so sorry, baby...,_ he looked at it apologetically when his ear buds tangled and just kept it in his hand, still walking.

“Jeff...Jeff!” he smiled when the other turned and his eyes lighted with recognition. They haven’t talked much in the hallway, after all. _We just didn’t, actually_ , Nick corrected himself.

 _This must be_ _how Mario feels when he gets a mushroom_ , Jeff’s smile widened until it almost became too much and he relaxed his shoulders. _You did not just say that, Jeff_. “Hey,” he stomped a little on his feet, making his glasses fall and almost hit the ground, but he somehow managed to catch them clumsily and entangle his and Nick’s arms at the same time.

 _Ha ha, let’s forget that for the rest of our lives_ , he grinned gracelessly, terrified of the blush that crept through his face. He liked his glasses, but at times like these, he really wished he had given in to contacts.

“So, Jeff...” Nick chuckled, playing for a little while with the other’s name in his mouth. He liked saying it; he put it immediately on his list. “Are you free tomorrow night? If you want to see the movie...”

Jeff giggled when his stomach made a twirl in the air. _What are you doing?_ His body was acting strange these days. “I’d love to,” his grin reached the other within half a second and Nick could feel, yet again, how good it was to do something right. “Are you going to lunch?” Although still somewhat nervous, the blond asked, starting to walk alongside him when the other nodded.

o0o0o

“Jeff...”

A loud thud came from within the wardrobe.

“Jeff.” The rumble was constant and he was going unnoticed. “JEFF!”

“What?!” His roommate raised his head from the stacks of clothes and...were those boxes? What could he do with boxes?

Miles sipped from his bottle of Sprite, as if to make a point and gestured to the mess that was Jeff’s half of the room. “Calm down.”

The blond only whined, kneeling on the floor with an exasperated look on his face. “But I can’t find it. I needed that game.”

“Weren’t you two going to see a movie?” The redhead questioned, adding one more item on the words puzzle in his lap. His friend nodded and closed the wardrobe before falling head-first in his bed.

“I thought that a plan B would be a good idea. I don’t know anything about that film,” he mumbled in the sheets, then raised his head a little, to check his Nintendo’s battery.

“You’ll find out soon enough. How much time have you got?”

He looked at his phone. “Twenty minutes? I should get dressed,” he scrambled up, dusting his loose trousers and shirt.

 _I wonder if we’ll have to go out..._ , he gazed at his sock-covered feet, considering going like that. Even if they did, his room was just upstairs, so it wouldn’t have been a problem.  He analysed a pair of black jeans before throwing then on the bed and started searching for another shirt.

“Why don’t you just go in PJs?” the other asked, tilting his head at him, purely curious.

Jeff glanced at him, glasses-free eyes open in wonder. “I’m not staying the night,” he stated because, well, he wasn’t...right? He doubted he and Nick have gotten to that point in their friendship already. Or did they?

 _I could...go like that. No, better not, Jeff, you’re a clown in your day clothes enough already_. Frowning at the floor, he put on the jeans, but exchanged the button-up with a comfortable white T-shirt. That should have done it. Glasses back in place and flattening his hair as good as he could, he resumed to stalking around the room.

“Should I have gotten something to drink?” He turned a hard-thinking expression to Miles, who once again looked dumbfounded.

“You never get anything when _we_ do something,” the tone was amusing, for some reason.

Jeff chuckled. “We stay in the same room, we have the same bad of supplies,” and he pointed to an actual Bio-green bag beside his desk. “Okay, I’m gone now,” he took his things in a rush and made for the door.

“It’s still early,” but he was already gone.

o0o0o

Nick had been trying for the past half an hour to install the DVD player without success. Until now, at least, when he finally found out that there were _two_ necessary cables in order for it to work. _Why can’t they make it wireless?_ He frowned at the blue screen of the TV until it started receiving the signal.

Also, in the past two hours he had lost, or thought he did, the movie at least half a dozen times. And no place was safe anymore. He tried moving the TV, to make it parallel with his bed so they could stay there while they were watching it. He couldn’t, though, Dalton was short on plugs.

A few knocks came from the door he considerately left ajar sometime in the past, but forgot about it and closed it an hour later and Nick stumbled over his own feet in his way there, banging his head on it. _Perfect day..._

 _What in the name of Aragorn was that?_ Jeff winced on the other side, inhaling to even his breath. _Be cool, Jeff, be cool. Not even you could have already done something wrong_ , his paranoia talked and he didn’t know if he should have accepted it or pushed it aside.

“Sorry, come in,” Nick opened the door while rubbing his forehead and was spared a reassuring smile.

Because Jeff couldn’t help himself in doing so. The room was, indeed, less the chaos it was the last time and he congratulated Nick in his mind for the effort. It reminded him of the ways he used to oblige when his mother made him clean up.

“Shove everything under the bed, right?” he recognized the technique, but he really didn’t want to voice that out loud so he almost slapped himself after doing so. _Damn it, Jeff_.

Nick tried the damaged skin with his fingertips, letting it be and looked in small wonder at him before laughing. “Pretty much. I’m still looking for a good place for us to sit.”

“The floor’s fine by me,” the blond spluttered again, not even being surprised by his flow of words. _Let it be, it would be even more painful to censor it._

It wasn’t like they had a choice, really, so, after scrambling a few pillows in front of the TV, they did indeed sit there. Even after starting the movie without setting the plug on fire, there was still danger, as Jeff kept on watching closely the bowl of popcorn between them. Something, _something_ was telling him that that thing wasn’t going to live for long.

Nick turned out to be quite a chatterbox while their stares were on the screen and that truly eased the atmosphere. Jeff never managed to keep silent for two hours in a row while watching moving pictures. That was strictly reserved for games marathons.

 _Nobody told me it was going to involve sex...,_ the blond held his knees closer to his chest for a while. _Act cool, Jeff, you know you can._ It wasn’t the scene...really; even though it was making his stomach constrict in a very disturbed and uncomfortable way. The problem was Nick and the fact that he was right beside him and: _What could he be thinking??_

On his part, Nick was trying hard to keep the interested-but-not-so-interested-I’m-not-a-pervert face and he had no idea if it was working. _Next time, we’re watching Kung-fu Panda_. This was bad, he had refused Cade’s wish to watch that damn movie a hundred times. _Just. Don’t move_. Harder said than done, he didn’t want to look stiff.

A quick glance at Jeff and he saw that he was drumming his fingers on his knees. At least he was not the only one. He glanced again; the screen light was perfectly reflected in the other’s glasses. _Another colour?_ He turned. _Yes, it’s finished!_ They dug in the popcorn bowl at the same time and, as predicted, it did a master-level magic trick and rolled for a few meters on the floor.

“Ah...” Jeff interjected, hand in the air, eyes on the splattered popcorn. “Nick–”

“Bound to happen,” the other laughed to dismiss the tension and they started to put it back. They should have hit ‘pause’, but none of them was thinking of that now. _How did this even get there??_ Nick glared at the litter on the other side of the room.

Well, at least there was nothing to spill on the ground for the rest of the movie. And it went on, and on, and on.

“And it goes on, and on, and oon...” Nick hummed, resting his head on the wall behind him, grinning sleepily when Jeff went on with the song.

The movie was almost done and he thought it was getting close to midnight, all with the many times they put it on hold to reminisce some random fact or to understand each other’s joke better. At least they were both out-of-the-closet with their slow thinking now. They just needed practice with each other’s speech, Nick concluded, closing his eyes and sighing serenely.

When the ending credits came on the black screen, Jeff turned to him and waited a few seconds before asking. “Nick? Are you sleeping?” He puffed his cheeks involuntarily, but then the other stirred.

“Not really,” he ruffled his black hair vigorously, making it stay up and the blond laughed at the image. “Let it be, that’s what it does,” Nick added, amused and didn’t try to flatten it again. “How late is it?”

“Late,” Jeff answered, looking at his phone, then back at him. Without really minding it, they just sat in silence under the screen’s low light for a few long moments.

Getting up was hard after over two hours of sitting on a thin pillow, but the shorter teen managed it anyway and looked around himself. He was, for no specific reason, zombified by sleep and from a look at the other’s eyes he could tell he wasn’t the only one. And as much as he would have wanted to stay until morning hours and just talk...

“Sleep?” Nick yawned, stretching his limbs.

Jeff put his phone and unused console on the floor and got up, mumbling tiredly. “Sleep,” and it wasn’t, it really wasn’t his first impulse, but he just randomly crashed on the other’s bed. _Shit, I don’t want to get up..._ , he groaned mentally, but did not move a muscle. _Let him drag me out_. A sleepy Jeff was an irascible Jeff.

However, he was just let to lie there and soon after Nick collapsed beside him too. “Night, Jeff,” he mumbled in a runaway pillow and probably immediately dozed off. Jeff just grumbled something before doing the same.


	4. Morning cocoa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff almost commits murder. The holiday starts. Tip of the day: just don't drink if you're Nick.

It was probably before sunrise, Nick thought, opening his eyes slightly at the darkness of the still room. It smelt like popcorn. _Right, movie_. His feet were cold and the blanket was on the floor. Maybe he could have gotten up to collect it, but then again maybe not. He drifted off again.

That too could have or could have not been a good idea; when he opened his eyes, his body was hurting in a strange, unoxygenated way, but he was warm – dizzy, but warm. And it was almost daylight outside, as he could see. Trying to take a deep breath, he realised he couldn’t and scrambled his limbs hopelessly about him.

“J-Jeff...” he muttered with his dry mouth when he became aware of the fact that the other was holding on to his chest as if he wanted to crush his ribcage. Seriously, where was all that power coming from? Nick tried again, but couldn’t get away. “Jeff,” a sorry attempt to push his arms away that resulted in an even more forceful hug. The one awake groaned in helpless frustration, but nevertheless gave up and closed his eyes again.

A third round of sleep never did anybody any harm, but now Nick felt he couldn’t afford a fourth when, blinking rapidly, he saw the bright light that was creeping into his room. To add to that, Jeff was still there and he thought it was amazing that had not moved an inch since last time. Or loosen his hug a bit, on that matter.

“Jeff. Jeff...Jeffie. Hey, Jeff?” Nick tried to poke him blindly, throwing his hands over his back and even knocking clumsily at his head until, in the end, the other stirred. “Morning, Jeff,” he looked over his shoulder at his friend who was still not quite there.

That, of course, lasted only until the blond became aware of the way his arms were tangled around the one next to him and let go in a flash, falling off Nick’s single bed in doing so. Of course.

“Whoa–! Are you okay?” the brunet bent over the edge of the bed and helped him up.

“Yeah, ow,” he rubbed his head where he bumped into the bedside table. “I’m sorry...Nick? How long have I been doing that?” he looked with worried eyes at him, but Nick only saw that his glasses were missing.

 _Jesus, I hope they’re not broken somewhere_ , he looked around himself in the sheets after sparing a few moments to take in the other’s face. Bare like this, he really looked different.

“A few hours, I guess. I think I dreamed I was drowning sometime around sunrise, so...” But he couldn’t continues, as Jeff’s dark eyes were heartbreaking. “No, not like that! It’s okay, Jeff,” he smiled. Was he saying his name too much? He still liked it.

 _‘Course it’s okay_ , the blond thought sarcastically and tugged at his sleep-wrecked clothes, despite having his movements slowed down by the past sleep. This was exactly why he wasn’t fond of sleepovers; he always ended up strangling someone. Always. But why was everything so hazy?

“Glasses,” he muttered and Nick looked horrified. “Oh, there they are,” the blond smiled light-heartedly and pulled them magically from under the bed. _How did he...?_

“It’s...9 o’clock. Oh, gosh,” Nick slid a hand down his face. Their morning classes must have already started.

“Hah, it still looks funny,” Jeff laughed sleepily, running his fingers lightly through Nick’s hair. _Wait, what...?_ he stopped dead and retracted his hand in a flash, almost knocking himself over with it. _Oh, God...what was that?_

The blond seemed terrified for a few long seconds, but Nick only gave in to the touch and glanced up at the remaining bits of his bangs. When he dropped his eyes again, he was still beaming. “Are you going to class now?”

Jeff thought about it, even though he didn’t want to. No matter how much he was going to prolong dressing up, he could still catch the last three classes and right now he really, really wished he could hide somewhere and sleep some more. He probably couldn’t, he hadn’t slept so much in a long time, but it was worth a try.

He shrugged. “Are you?” _Please, say no..._ The other sat on the bed again, rubbing his eyes.

“I only want breakfast...and something to do afterwards,” he decided and looked up at Jeff, who was grinning brightly at him now.

“I brought my DS,” he circled the bed and retrieved it from the floor, climbing up near Nick and crossing his legs afterwards. “Do you know how to play?”

The brunet yawned and rubbed his eyes. “I used to. Show me?” That, Jeff could do. Getting more comfortable, they shared two accomplice grins and went to it.

o0o0o

“What have you done?” Miles looked sideways at him after he found him in the common room when school was over. “I went back to our room at lunch and you still weren’t there,” he added, screwing with two six-sided dices.

“I texted you. I got up late and stayed with Nick,” Jeff answered, playing on a borrowed console, his own being long since discharged.

His friend put the dices on the coffee table in front of them, frowning slightly. “And that shouldn’t sound weird why...?” He had a point, Jeff was usually a _very_ morning person and he lacked essential skills for skipping class, but he was saved – sort of. No, he most definitely wasn’t, but now their chat was doomed.

“Jeffie!” a voice he did not particularly want to hear approached him and put an arm over his shoulder, making him stop the game. “Doing well? Haven’t seen you around,” Aaron took a seat in front of him and started unwrapping a lollipop. “Anyway, I come here as your invitation; for our little Warbler getaway. Miles, you can come too,” the singer winked at his colleague who stared at him.

“You know my name? That’s creepy,” he winced, getting at his purple dices again. “I can’t, I have plane tickets for Paris.”

“Oh!” Aaron gasped at his peach lollipop and then exchanged a glance with Jeff. “Don’t go find the love of your life there and never come back to us!” At this, Miles laughed. “Bring a sleeping bag, Jeffie,” he grinned at the other before putting the candy back in his mouth.

From what Jeff had observed in the past few years, this sweet addiction was their lead’s way of avoiding smoking. Somehow. He nodded and restarted his game just before looking around the room and catching Nick’s eyes at the door and spared him a grin. The other did too, pointing amusedly at a slightly flustered Cade, but mouthing soundlessly that it wasn’t anything serious.

“The bus leaves on Tuesday morning, make sure you’ll be here at 7. Sleeping bag and snow wear, Jeffie!” The blond got up humming and turning in place.

The other raised an eyebrow over his – borrowed – console. “We’re using the bus?”

“What did you expect?” Aaron outstretched his arms before disappearing into the hallway.

o0o0o

He looked down an infinite corridor that had the atmosphere of a closed room and he wondered for a moment if this was Ghost Protocol. He blinked and shook his head, only to see that the scenery changed into a green room with a wooden table and a note.

The note said: _Don’t forget about the drunk text._

“Aah! Shit!” Nick woke up in a flash only to find himself in his room back at home. Slightly aware of the alarm clock going off in the near distance, he dropped his head on his pillow again.

His door was cracked a little and Melinda poked inside. “Something wrong?” She probably was at her morning duties, the hallway smelt of coffee as well as her presence. Nick dismissed her with a gesture.

“No, I’m okay.”

Unlike everybody in his family, she got the message and closed the door again, still leaving the morning aroma inside. Nick scratched his head in the middle of his blue sheets and resisted the urge to scratch the skin off his face.

It was his first day at home, a supposedly relaxing start-of-the holiday Saturday. After his night – and then day – in with Jeff on Wednesday and Thursday, no harsh consequences had arrived in the last day of school. They at least deserved that. As the principal said, they were both good kids.

Moving closer to his problem now, only an idiot didn’t turn his phone off before getting drunk, but then again, he never intended to do it. And it was already months old! He still couldn’t get over the way his father brushed his attempt at an explanation away either. Perfect coming out.

It has been sometime around autumn that year, on some popular kid in Dalton’s birthday. Nick didn’t even know him and used this in his protests against going, but Cade couldn’t be talked out of it once he had settled his mind on taking his friend there. He said he didn’t have to know the birthday boy; the entire school could come if it wanted.

Eventually, he accepted, motivating himself with the fact that someone had to take care of Cade and bring him home afterwards. The brown-haired teen tended to be quite restless at parties. And he wasn’t exactly shy with the alcohol either. So Nick went there and spent half the night with David, who was more or less in the same position as him, seeing as Wes had been dumped. Again.

Given these facts, he just had to go astray when he was left alone for a few minutes (they turned into almost an hour, but that wasn’t the issue). He found himself talking to a very merry, very sociable, very drunk stranger that just kept on sharing and sharing his experiences (and drinks) with him.

Oh, well...how could Nick know that he was the depressed drunk? It was his first time getting there so far. Four or so drinks later, the stranger suddenly evaporated in the dense crowd, leaving him to stare at the dancing, laughing and talking people around him. And he kept staring until he came to terms with his alcohol-induced sadness. It was bitter.

His head was full of resentment and want for everything that was around him and then of utter sorrow when he realised he couldn’t have even a small bit of that. _Who made him gay?_ Suddenly attacked his mind and maybe he even wailed, leaning on the bar and looking around for any sort of support. What cruel creature could have done that to him? Was he supposed to feel grateful because he was ‘special’ or what? Well, he decided he wasn’t and that party was his ultimate proof. He couldn’t even go and lose his first kiss with some unknown, unaffected, _male_ stranger. Not even that.

So he looked around for David, but his friend still wasn’t there. He didn’t think that Wes was amazing at hiding himself in crowded places; he just let the abandonment and loneliness creep inside his incoherent soul and stifled back a sob. That suddenly turned to a slight anger again and he took out his phone. If no one was going to listen to him here, maybe he could get someone’s attention at home, his drunk mind told him. David came back after him just a couple of minutes after he had sent the confession to his possibly still working father.

“Ugh...” he now groaned and trailed to the bathroom, applying ice-cold water on his sleep-drowned eyes. As winter holiday had barely started – he looked at the clock – nine hours ago, he could tell that the next three days until their four-day trip were going to be too long for his mental health to handle.

o0o0o

“Jeffie!”

Jeff spun forward, gasping for air. Being jumped by a heavy, unidentified object while still being asleep didn’t work well with his health. He reached for it with his hands and ruffled the little girl’s two ponytails wildly, making her laugh.

“Get off me,” he grumbled, searching for his glasses and being surprised when the same girl put them on his face. He smiled sweetly at her and even gave in to one of her sugar-overdosed hugs before she climbed down his bed and ran to the door. She only disappeared for less than a minute and then returned with an almost overflowing mug of _good stuff_. Jeff’s mouth watered at the sight of it.

“Mommy and I made you cocoa,” she grinned, pride clear in her small voice and handed him the mug. “I sneaked five marshmallows in,” she pointed, smugly and dipped her finger in the soft cream.

The older blond looked mock sceptically at it before taking a careful sip that made his eyes sparkle. If asked, Jeff would go to the end of the world saying that hot cocoa was not the same as hot chocolate, as many people found his tastes contradictory. Pretty quickly, he swallowed the marshmallows and drained the cup while watching his sister scout around his room carrying a blue pony.

“Are you still making cupcakes today?” He grinned at her over his empty mug and she puffed her cheeks before coming over to him.

She put her brown, big puppy eyes in use. “Only if you’ll help.” Saying ‘no’ would have been dangerous, if it had ever been an option.

“Mom will put a bowl over my head and make me sit in a corner,” he laughed, pinching her nose, but agreeing nevertheless, as he finally got out from under the covers.

o0o0o

It took him close to an hour until he decided to finally descend the stairs to the kitchen. He could still smell the coffee and fresh toast that drove him in, but at the same time he could hear a slight clink of plates and mugs that was making him want to run away and lock himself in his room.

 _That was one of your lowest attempts at life, Nick, but it’s gonna pass..._ , he used his inspirational voice to calm himself down. After all, was his dad even at home? And even if it was, if he cared so much about that he would have already done something _. Like...come and talk at midnight or throw me in the streets._ It was a wide range of possible reactions.

He passed Melinda on the way to the kitchen and she was momentarily dusting the shelves. _Couldn’t she be washing the dishes?_ Nick asked exasperatedly; he really wanted some moral support, even if the maid probably had no idea what was going on.

“Good morning, Nick,” his father’s voice echoed through the room as he approached the fridge silently and looking for anything good enough to keep his mouth busy. Oh, jam!

“Good morning,” he tried to smile as he sat down with said jam and two slices of toast. _Okay, this is it, this is it, Nick, act cool, show him you’re sober_. He could never know. As far as he was concerned, his father didn’t really know him at all. At least, he did not know him from the last few years of his life. _Why bother? He doesn’t care. He should not object._

 _Maybe he doesn’t even believe me_ , a sharp pain shot through his chest at the thought that he had to come out again (while being sober too). That pleased him even less than the fact that he first did it while having way too much unwanted alcohol in his body.

“Chris called, she’ll come over before you go back to school,” the man started calmly, putting one more tablespoon of sugar in his coffee. Well, that was good, he wanted to see his mother too.

They both let the pause get longer and longer, apparently not at all disturbed by the silence. Inwardly, though, Nick was putting on his little warrior mask every time his father looked at him. The man was thinking and nobody knew how far he was getting.

“So...”

“How have you been, Nick? We haven’t heard of you since Christmas. Is school going well?” _I really don’t like your approach here, dad..._ , the boy swallowed, downing almost his entire mug of tea before opening his mouth to talk. Even then, his father hasn’t been home, it was just a short phone call with an almost unspoken promise that they were going to talk. Someday.

“It’s good, we have–...”

 –been cut off. “Any good news? Valentine’s just passed; it used to cause a ruckus at that school.” _Oh, no..._

“Um, not really...” he fidgeted, examining his spoon. _And that’s overrated_. “I’m not interested yet...” _Please, take that as a good answer. **Please**._

Strangely, his father laughed, making him raise his eyes in wonder. “In an all-boys school, it’s no wonder you don’t find anything to interest you. I had that problem too...”

“Shit,” Nick hissed before he could stop himself and covered his mouth, looking at his feet. “Dad, no...”

“No?” the man questioned.

“Dad...” he tried after he realised he wasn’t going to be able to eat anytime soon with the man in the room.

“Nick,” the other raised his eyes to meet his and regarded him seriously for a few interminable seconds. The message wasn’t the issue; his tension was the one that caught the other’s attention and made everything finally click together. “You know I’m blunt, so...have you thought about it? Being gay isn’t that easy.”

 _Whoa–...I didn’t expect him to go straight at it_. Nick shifted uncomfortably in his seat, torn between looking his parent straight in the eye and avoiding his gaze. _Who said it was easy? You think I don’t know? From what I saw, straight people don’t have it easy either_. He couldn’t voice anything out; he just nodded.

“You shouldn’t give up just because one girl didn’t like you, you know?” He looked so smug and proud of his ongoing speech that Nick suddenly felt he wasn’t going to eat for a week. What girl? You’re so clueless. He kept silent. “Anyway, think about it.”

“I did think about it,” he stated blankly.

The man almost glared over his coffee. _What was that?_ “Then think it better. It’s not the good decision.” The dialogue was over.

 _I could storm off. Yeah. I should. I am allowed to. Oh, God, I’m gonna jump at him if I don’t go now._ With a suppressed groan, Nick got up and left the room, leaving both his breakfast and his father untouched. _Maybe that was too dramatic..._

o0o0o

“So you’re leaving tomorrow?” the blond girl snuggled closer to him under the warm blanket, looking sleepily at her brother’s game-play on the console. He leant his head on top of hers for a moment and she started giggling before hiding under one of his pillows.

“Yep. But I’ll be back before you go back to school, okay?” Jeff paused the game to give her a kiss on the cheek just before his mother entered the room and scooped her up, smiling at him.

“Wake me up to drive you there, Jeffie,” his mother placed a kiss on his cheek too, hurrying before her daughter fell asleep completely.

He nodded, although he considered taking the bus. He was really curious if it was always as bad as the first time he rode one. “Night, Jeffie,” his sister giggled into her mother’s shoulder before both of them left the room, leaving him in silence, still smiling.

He considered going to sleep too; he was going to be up early, after all. Closing the game, he shifted in his covers, not wanting to lose the warmth accumulated there. Before turning off the lamp, however, he glanced at his phone. No missed calls, no messages, but Miles was already gone and he wasn’t really the conversational type either. He remembered not talking with Nick since the first day of holiday and even then the other sounded weird.

 _Is it too late to call now? Well, we stayed up later than this that time..._ Finally, he ran through his contacts and called, waiting for five long rings to pass until it was picked up. “Did I wake you up?” he asked tentatively after hearing only a low response from the other end.

“No, not really...” came another reply and Jeff seated himself better in his bed, feeling that something was off. Maybe he was just sleepy. Maybe _Nick_ was sleepy. _Come on, Jeff, don’t over-analyse at this time of night_.

“How are you?” Because that was the normal question, right? You don’t just jump to ‘Are you okay?’ without any apparent reason. _No, that’s rude._

On the other end, Nick sighed and looked around his dark room hopelessly, feeling like he had been there forever and reminding himself constantly that it’s only been a few days. This wasn’t the time to give in and spill his soul out, he thought as he bit his lip hard.

Nevertheless, it was late and he was tired and fed up and all that darkness was making him feel _so lonely_ , especially when he knew there was a switcher on the other side which his body just refused to use. “Can I talk with you about something?” he almost whispered and Jeff, naturally, urged him on, although not expecting what he was going to receive.

o0o0o

**(6:13 am) From: Jeff**

_Get a cup of milk and cocoa, it will help. Talk to you when we get there :)_


	5. Soft puppy, warm puppy, little ball of fur

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get one cottage and a load of teenage boys. You just have to stay alive. Part 1 of the horror.

_Cold..._ Nick touched the icy glass with his forehead, glancing at the moving forms outside who were bringing the school grounds to life. He couldn’t see Jeff and that fact alone made his stomach tighten even more with dread and guilt. Though knowing it was hopeless, he wished he hadn’t told him _everything_.

In fact, he never intended to; just a few slips of his problem would have sufficed to ease the pain long enough for him to go to sleep. But after the first phrase came another and another and words kept on pouring out of his mouth until he remained bare, gasping for air and with nothing to hide anymore. And it was _Jeff_ , above everything else. Jeff, with whom he had been talking only for two weeks; the worst part was the one that, if given the chance, he knew he wouldn’t have picked anyone else. Maybe it was because they didn’t know each other that well so they couldn’t judge as harshly as somebody else would have.

Or maybe it was something else. Either way, Nick still regretted it. It was the feeling that came with every new person in his life. The one that even he could start over and make the other see him better, different, real. The one that told him he could start building himself up in another’s eyes from scratch. Nick lost the opportunity to do that when he poured that big part of his heart out, at that ungodly hour.

Somehow, he tried to accept it, because, after all, he couldn’t be anyone but himself. He wondered uselessly of what it was like for the other, to have someone put that information on his shoulders. Some part of him even felt an unreasonably hint of jealousy. He wanted to know Jeff too, not just the other way round. He wanted to be trusted.

He wanted...this migraine to be over. Shutting off his sleep-walking thoughts, Nick groaned against the glass. The cocoa had truly helped, in a freaky way, but the pills just refused to kick in and he felt like dying of headache. The others were starting to load their luggage in the blue and red bus when somebody grabbed his shoulders and made him hit the window. _Hard_.

“Ah, it’s breaking!” Nick started rubbing his forehead, turning towards the criminal that just prolonged his agony. “Oh...hey,” after one peek at him, he erased the annoyance off his face. Thank God, Jeff didn’t look as tired as he feared he would.

“Thought you were not coming anymore,” the blond smiled sadly, hiding his hands in his jacket’s pockets.

As the entrance door opened again, the other faked a laugh. “And stay there? No, thank you. Shall we go?”

o0o0o

“Is he actually asleep?” Trent leaned closer to Jeff, pointing at Nick, sitting in a chair some rows in front of them. “He’s usually the one to wake _us_ up.” _And why aren’t you asleep too?_ The other looked at him, widening his eyes. That last movement went by unseen.

 _No, no, no! Go back, save the princess!_ Damn, his Nintendo was slow that morning. “Let him sleep, Trent,” he mumbled without letting his eyes leave the screen, biting his tongue in concentration afterwards.

He shifted in his seat, managing to cross his legs without stopping the game play. _That’s good. What is this labyrinth, God?_ Keeping the pen in place, Jeff glanced over to Nick. _Shit! Where did this come from? So close to death..._ His character was going to live for another level. _This is easy, I’ve just got to find that door._ It felt like winning. _I hope he’s okay_. Dead. _That’s what you get when you don’t have your eyes on the screen._

“That was such an easy part, Jeffie. I’m worried,” came from over his shoulder and the candy flavour was unmistakable.

He passed the console over. “Knock yourself out,” Jeff sighed, letting Aaron grin triumphantly at his new acquisition. The car was strangely quiet, knowing that there were fifteen teenage boys in it. Perhaps the fact that more than half of them were asleep had a say in that.

“You too? And here I thought only those sexually-active were having trouble sleeping,” Trent stared at a suddenly curled up Jeff, getting ready to doze off too. _I’ll just pretend I’m not getting that._ He had an innocent reputation to maintain, after all.

Aaron snickered in his lollipop behind them, while playing carelessly some game. “I don’t know what to say about that. I, for one, am quite awake.” Jeff felt the seats behind stir. Apparently, the topic woke Thad up.

“Dude, you’re dating now? Thought you said it wasn’t for you,” he questioned as it he wasn’t dead asleep just twenty seconds ago and the long-haired blond laughed.

“Who said I’m dating? I’m just living a healthy life,” he continued with his game, untouched.

The other two seemed to ponder his answer for a while and ended up in a collective nod. Jeff couldn’t sleep despite the long night talk he had, but he wasn’t willing to get up either, as he would have been dragged into the discussion in that case. And he preferred to keep his hormonal part to himself, thank you very much. He could get away with a lot of things that way.

“What about Charlie? She sounded like a nice one, after she put up with your airs for that long,” David came over and really, why did their place have to become the social corner? Jeff groaned and got up, rubbing his eyes.

Trent narrowed his eyes for a moment. “Two months, was it?”

“Three,” Aaron grinned at the DS, lollipop still in his mouth. “But guys, Chip wasn’t a girl,” he laughed light-heartedly at them, turning the pen in his long fingers.

 _Really, now..._ Jeff counted the seconds of awe around him. _Don’t.even.move_ , he dictated himself, faking a yawn to get himself out of the dialogue to come. “Really?” he heard Wes and gave him a strange look. Was everybody listening to that? Looking over his shoulder, he saw that the few people who were still not sleeping dragged their lousy trousers over there. _Oh, then that means..._

“You people are not human. Sleep,” he mumbled, rubbing his eyes for precaution and left his seat, holding on another in order not to fall. Who was their driver, anyway? “Hey. You’re...not sleeping,” he smiled involuntarily as he reached Nick’s seat and he saw him with his eyes open, ear buds in.

Pausing his iPod momentarily, the brunet smiled back, letting him occupy the seat beside him. “Tried. Couldn’t,” he scrolled through his playlist before offering Jeff one ear bud.

“Me neither. Did you know Aaron went out with a guy?” _Jeff?_ Nick gave him a strange look. “Ugh...sorry,” Jeff sank into his seat, biting the inside of his cheek as music started playing in his left ear.

 _What the hell...?_ Blabbermouth, but it wasn’t like he knew how to approach the subject either. Was acting like before a sign of disrespect or would Nick appreciate it? In other situations, he would have just asked, since that was the easiest way. He didn’t like complicated relationships with others. _I can’t ask him that now_ , he glanced at his friend for a moment that was originally meant to be quite short.

 _Don’t..._ , a small, scared voice whispered through his brain as soon as it felt an unwanted idea start to form. Nick had a nice profile... _JEFF!_ The shrill made him almost jump in his chair, averting his gaze. That was new, that was _definitely_ new.

“I thought you guys knew. He’s been going out with others too,” Nick yawned, closing his eyes for a little time. When he opened them again, Jeff’s expression was between surprised and horrified. Two options. “Ah...no, not me!” The blond let out the breath he didn’t know he was keeping and Nick laughed. “I never really had a boyfriend,” he mumbled awkwardly, gripping his iPod tighter. Moral support.

Jeff seemed unaffected. “Yeah, me neither,” he breathed, looking somewhat dreamily at the bus’ ceiling. _Wait, after I talked all those hours, he only now tells me that he’s...?_ Nick stared at him until the other caught his eye and – _what?_ – grinned. “I never liked anyone. I can’t be sure.”

“Oh,” the brunet concluded, returning to his music. That seemed fair, why was it giving him weird, mixed feelings?

o0o0o

One step landed him in a snowy Hell. Or pool, he didn’t really know. Were he taller, he probably wouldn’t have feared a slow death by drowning in the snow. Or would he? “That’s a lot of snow,” Nick mumbled, getting back in the house and taking off his snowy winter clothes.

“It’s gonna be even more soon! Don’t worry, it’s worth it. Just wait to see the skiing track,” David defended his planned holiday, warming his hands in front of a modern fireplace. His other colleagues were randomly spread around the spacious room, some keeping mugs of various hot liquids in order to warm up.

“Here,” he saw a similar mug being directed to him and he grasped it, almost expecting it to burn his hands. “Where should we put our sleeping bags, Dave?” Wes turned from him and regarded their host, who was still rubbing his hands together.

“Upstairs, I think?” He looked towards the staircase in the hallway. “Yeah. The living and games’ rooms and on the first floor are probably enough. I’ll check,” he went off, almost tripping over a long scarf that has fallen on the wooden floor.

Holding his drink steady, Nick eventually folded said scarf up and tossed it on one of the three couches in the room. He was sleepy again and the tea was not helping, but he took another gulp of it anyway. “Are you okay, Nicky? You look kind of pale,” somebody questioned and he raised his eyebrow at their soloist in an armchair.

The other kept his gaze, evidently waiting for an answer. “Christo,” Nick voiced out, fixated on his face until he started laughing.

“Contrary to what you all think, I’m not possessed,” the blond grinned and transferred to the couch, leaving it to the obvious that he expected to be joined. Taking another mouthful of hot tea, Nick eventually sat down, curious to find out how was the other going to continue the conversation.

 _Well, is he going to do it...?_ He looked sideways at the other and saw not a hint that he was going to speak. _Okay_. Finishing his tea quicker than he initially wanted, he got up again and made for the kitchen, wherever that was. _That was weird and typical_.

 _Is that a music room?_ A dark brown door was left ajar close to the small kitchen in which he washed and left his mug. He could see a piano from where he was standing.

o0o0o

“What is he doing there?” Thad leaned on the doorframe.

Trent looked over and sighed. “Just let him be...”

“JEFF!” Wes rushed past them, opening the glass doors and letting the cold air outside get inside, making a few of them whine. “What are you doing?” he stared, open-mouthed, at the blond in the yard, full of snow just as the dog tackled him to the ground again.

The one outside raised a hand, waving it in the air for them to see. “I’m okay!” But the dog on top of him looked pretty heavy. And energetic.

“Told you, love at first sight,” David leaned over Wes’ shoulder, grinning as his _puppy_ ran around his friend. “Okay, I’ll bring a towel,” he laughed and left them when he saw the other coming towards the door.

“She was so cute!” Jeff flailed, shaking his damp hair and giving them a flushed grin. They only rolled their eyes and handed him a warm towel and a blanket once he got his jacket off. “Where’s Nick? He’s got to see her too. You should bring her to school, David!” Jeff laughed, going to look for his friend before they had the chance to reply. As he left, Trent raised an eyebrow at Thad who did the same to Wes, but they kept quiet even after that.

Keeping the towel on his head and gently shuffling it from time to time, he went to the other part of the ground-floor, glancing in different rooms. After passing a couple hallways, he started humming unconsciously. _Hey, there really is music_. Looking around him, he could hear a slow melody in guitar notes. He tip-toed to the room.

Opening the door slowly, Jeff stood there and gazed at Nick, sitting with his back to the window and leaned slightly over an acoustic guitar. He blinked and took in the way his black hair fell, now covering his eyes ever so slightly. He bit his lip and didn’t even flinch when Nick’s gaze went up and looked straight at him. Not because he was some sort of brave warrior, to be clear. He was just floating above reality. When he fell down again, he jumped.

 “You’re all wet,” Nick grinned and his heart skipped a beat from random reasons. _Wait, what did he...?_ He almost opened his mouth to retort when a drop fell on his nose from his hair. Oh... _OH!_

“Well, you see...David has this huge puppy,” he gestured to something half his size, grinning widely. “And she’s lovely and we played outside and this happened,” he tore off the towel, letting his hair tangle insanely on his head.

The other smiled and moved a little to the left, letting him take a seat beside him. “That looks interesting.”

“You think?” Jeff touched his blond hair self-consciously, pulling on his fringe in front of his eyes and frowning at it. After a second’s thought, Nick placed David’s black guitar beside him and turned towards his friend, shoving his hands away.

Taking off his glasses, Jeff stood still, watching as Nick’s hands started distributing his hair in various directions. On his part, the brunet tried to look as if he knew what he was doing, but the other’s hair stayed the same despite everything he tried to do with it. Raising his friend’s bangs between his fingers once, Nick locked Jeff’s brown eyes in his for a moment. He looked calm and trusting. _But it’s just hair, Nick_ , he chid himself, trying to shut off any thoughts about how relaxing it all was, for some reason.

“I give up,” he sighed and before he could stop himself, tousled the other’s tuft until it was two times worse than before. It was so soft.

Giggling at the gesture, Jeff put his glasses back and crossed his legs in front of him. “I can’t blame you. It’s hard to tame. What were you playing?”

“Nothing in particular,” the other picked the guitar again, staring through it in nothingness.

“Let me try,” the blond took it in his arms and placed it in place almost gracefully, knitting his eyebrows together as he scanned it.

Nick leaned in closer, looking at him with big hazel eyes. “You know how to play?” Jeff grinned, flexing his fingers once.

“Twinkle, twinkle, little star.”

o0o0o

“Thad, get off me,” he could hear from the other end of the living room. David had insisted on turning off all the lights at 9pm and they’ve been on each other’s toes since.

A shuffle of clothes and probably someone got up. “Are we even on Earth anymore?” Thad voiced out, making the sleepiest of them groan and the rest laugh.

“No, Thad, we’re on Gallifrey, watch your step,” Jeff responded, getting up and making for the bathroom, the only source of light around there. “Oh, sorry,” he circled the person he had just bumped into.

“’s okay. Hey, are we doing something, after all?” the other questioned the room, getting a very lousy reply.

“Sleep, Trent. David will wake us up at 5, most likely!” Wes interjected, and he probably knew what he was talking about, as he had been friends with the host longest.

Jeff closed the door behind him, staring at his image in the mirror. He had the pallor of someone who was not at home and the room made him look somewhat different. He couldn’t tell if he was pale. _Is that hair, Jeff?_ Glaring at it incredulously, he reached out to his blond locks and touched them with his fingertips.

He hadn’t had a chance to look at it after Nick tried his luck with it; it looked different, even if it was still tangled wildly. He gasped as he realised. _I have no idea where my DS is...oh, God_. He tried counting every possibility in his mind and there either weren’t a lot of them or there were too many. A knock on the door made him wake up from his thoughts.

Not three steps after he let some other Warbler enter the bathroom, he yelped as somebody grabbed his left ankle. “Zombies!” he searched the ground around him, starting to laugh at the same time with Nick when he saw him sitting down on his sleeping bag. “You’ve got to come up with a better technique.”

“I’ll try.” The other grinned in the darkness, a tint of light hitting his once-green, now dark eyes. The two of them leaned on the wall behind them and looked at the almost invisible squabble in the room.

“What’s the pretext?” Jeff leaned in and touched his shoulder with Nick’s, gesturing at their friends.

The other kept the touch and fumbled with his green iPod as he started talking. “Something about Regionals. Solos, I think. They think of going back to duels,” he pressed play.

“That sounds so interesting,” the blond mocked, receiving an ear bud and closing his eyes. “I like this,” he pointed out, missing the smile that crept on Nick’s face.

“This was my audition song for the Warblers,” he half-whispered.

Jeff kept his eyes closed, taking in the song. “Mine was Teenage Angst,” he opened one eye to see the other’s raised eyebrow. “Don’t judge, I liked it. I’m sorry I missed yours.”

“That’s okay.”

“You should try for a solo, you know...” the blond sighed.

The melody finished and Nick sounded amused. “Like you’re one to talk.”He got a light punch on his arm for that.

“Don’t make me duel with you.” But the idea sounded, in fact, good for both of them.

A few of the ones arguing were, that moment, hit with couch-pillows and forced to stop talking. “We’ll sing tomorrow. It’s past midnight, let me sleep,” Aaron hid his face in his sleeping bag, putting his hands on his head. “Jeff, I put your game on your pillow, don’t freak out.”

Much to Nick’s amusement, the blond let out a long, relieved sigh.

o0o0o

A loud fizz rose above the four boys’ heads, quickly followed by another one and then two more. “That should be enough,” Trent looked into the pan he was holding on the cooker with a flowery kitchen glove. Thad was just at his side, staring at the soon-to-be breakfast with wide, but sceptical eyes.

“Guys, are you sure we shouldn’t get some help?” Nick tried from where he was leaning on the counter, watching them as if something was about to explode any minute.

Wes patted him reassuringly on the shoulder, shaking his head. “They’ll make it sound as the world is ending, but they’ll pull it off somehow.” The brunet regarded him with some admiration. For someone in his last year of high school, Wes was truly magic, taking care of them almost 24/7.

“You know we could always eat cereals, right?” David poked his head through the open door, shaking a box of Cookie Crisp at them.

Nick could’ve sworn he heard Trent mumble ‘this is a challenge’ at that. Good thing the three days at home had broken his breakfast schedule. _Aaaand...you’re thinking of that again_. Some days, he could almost slap himself.

“Hungry!” Aaron wailed from the living room, accompanied by the rest of them. At such a chaotic performance, one could hardly imagine them sing a capella. Soon enough, David shrugged and eloped with his cereals, letting Jeff enter and go straight for the double fridge.

The next thing they heard was a high pitched gasp from Thad as he moved away from the stove. “Dude...that looks alien,” he covered his mouth in shock, pointing at one asparagus in Trent’s fork. The latter just scoffed and put it on a plate, dropping a few eggs in.

From his silent corner, Nick got his eyes up from some pudding instructions found in a cabinet and glanced at Jeff, whose hands were moving fast and there was pure concentration on his face. But right after that he shook his head rapidly, not trusting his teenage body enough just yet and he raised his eyebrows at the numerous mugs the blond managed to gather in front of him. Another yelp from Thad.

“How did you do that? Is that even legal?” he waved his hands at Trent’s spatula and Wes laughed, still keeping them in check.

The senior glanced to his right after the other two stopped scaring each other with kitchen utensils. “What are you– oh, thank you,” he smiled and Jeff gave him a full mug, grinning widely and his eyes full with pride.

“Jeff? Jeff, is that food?” Some passing Warblers squeezed through the door, staring at the quickly filling cups, but Trent shoved three plates of yellow-greenish omelette in their faces before they reached him.

Their first prey stopped from pouring microwave-warmed milk into the fifth mug and smiled at his colleagues. “I’ll bring them in a moment,” and he grabbed a jar of cocoa from the counter.

“Need any help?” Nick asked, avoiding a few flying bits of bacon as he crossed the room with Wes at his side. “Wow...that’s a lot.” Jeff had really big plans; there were a dozen mugs on the table. He wondered why David even had this many in a holiday house.

The taller one beamed at them and shoved a freshly prepared milk and cocoa into Nick’s hands too. _Marshmallows too..._ , he observed. “It’s under control. My sister’s an addict, I’m a master when it comes to this stuff,” and as if just to prove his point, he dropped marshmallows in three different cups without spilling a drop.

“That’s impressive,” Nick grinned, sipping from his mug and humming lowly as the liquid pleased his tastes in a magical way. He was sure he was going to ask for another one soon.

At a prolonged period of silence from the others, Wes turned sharply and goggled at the two ‘chefs’. “That is NOT okay! Someone get that egg from the ceiling right now!”

Panic struck through the two in charge as fast as if Wes still had his gavel at hand. _Who knows_. As the others started running around, Jeff pulled Nick behind the table, out of the battlefield. Winking, he even gave him a box of sugar cubes. “Two each,” he whispered and Nick quickly conformed.


	6. Never again strawberries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff displays some brief sick moves. Cake deaths. Random kitchen singing. Part 2 of the horror.

_Ba-dum_. That’s all it took for David to go rolling down the hill, his snowboard forgotten at the top.

“That was evil,” one tall Warbler said, looking at the trail his senior left in the snow. From then, it only took Wes a few moments to fix his legs on the board and go after his friend. Maybe he _had_ pushed him too hard. Maybe; he was still rolling.

“Oh, he’s fine,” Thad saw the victim wave at them from down there and he turned to the rest of the group. His jaw dropped just as he did so and he kept staring above their heads. “How is he _doing_ that?” The remaining ones glanced at another’s track.

“Dude, that’s sick,” one of them said as the blond flipped once more in the air, at a safe distance from their location. Laughing, he landed perfectly on the ground, sliding gracefully. Some people even cheered. “Let’s go! We can’t let Jeff humiliate us like that, after all.”

Just as the others started their march to the other track, Trent looked behind. “Nick?” The brunet snapped out from his thoughts and shoved his phone into his inside pocket again, catching up to his friend. “Everything okay?”

The other was still blinking more than necessary. “Yeah, alright. Mom’s home.”

o0o0o

His feet ached and made him finally feel his light headache too. _Just one_ _more_ , he thought and started off again in full focus, performing another perfect flip. Oh, well, the landing could have been better, but nobody seemed to have seen that.

“You’re a monster,” David, freshly recovered from a snow abyss, laughed as Jeff approached them, cheeks flushed from the crisp wind and snow.

He chuckled, taking off his goggles. “What do you mean? I’m an angel.” It was hard to focus, but his glasses were safe in his backpack. And that was...there! He made for it and sat down on the bench beside it, rumbling through unnecessary bags of snacks and gloves.

“Missed you again,” echoed above his head before he had the chance to take them out. Whatever, he didn’t need glasses to recognise that voice. _Missed...,_ he looked at Nick and then around him. _Oh, he means that_. He rolled his eyes imperceptively at himself. _Yeah, Jeff. Now talk._

He unconsciously took a deeper breath and smiled, feeling the other sit next to him. “It’s okay; I’ll be back there tomorrow. Or later today,” he pondered. Nick kept silent, staring blankly at the ice in front of them.

“Mom called.”

Jeff blinked and bit the inside of his cheek. “Are you okay?” He didn’t know if he was supposed to know this already, after all, so he was going to take this the slow way.

Nick turned his face to him and he could perceive a blurry smile along with blurry, _beautiful_ hazel eyes. A mental cough. “She wanted to make sure I’ll come home after this, she wants to talk,” he sighed, dropping his shoulders.

The one beside him saw that he was still trying to word something out. What was he supposed to do now? This was why he never liked over-thinking; it made him think every movement was wrong. _Okay_ , he exhaled and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. He felt glad he had taken off his gloves; it made him strongly aware of the physical contact. _That’s silly_.

“I talked with dad too,” a pause. “He said he’s sorry. Apparently, he wasn’t in a good mood.” Jeff couldn’t guess if that was sarcasm or not.

“Call me if it doesn’t work well,” he blurted out, widening his eyes in shock when he couldn’t control his mouth. “Actually, call me anyway. No, I’ll call, just tell me when.” Mocking applause in his head. _Oh, Jeff, that was beautiful. You can now get your masters degree in inappropriate speaking._ “Um...” he retracted his hand, looking embarrassed at his feet.

Silence, silence, silence, pause. He closed his eyes nervously, not daring to open them again. _Ever_. “I will,” came Nick’s reply and he immediately looked at him, mentally praising his stomach for doing better flips than he did.

“Okay,” he beamed whole-heartedly, missing the other’s slight blush in the blur of his glasses-less eyes.

o0o0o

White steam was rising from their coffees as the possible conspirators gathered around a table in David’s ridiculous _other_ living room. Their faces were severe and determination was poignant in their eyes, but for quite some time, nobody spoke, but glanced at their other colleagues lazing around.

“This is too quiet,” Trent muttered, holding his cup with both hands.

“Unacceptably so,” Wes agreed immediately, making the other three look at him with both respect and surprise.

Taking a long sip out of his strong mocha, Thad regarded them with a dark complexion. “We’ve got to do something. We’ve only two days left.” The others nodded, bringing their coffees to their mouths at the same time.

“Last time we almost demolished the house so we’re under close surveillance. No parties or alcohol allowed, my mum would kill me for sure this time.” They all winced, they knew how ferocious David’s mother could be sometimes. Most of the time.

Putting his cup down, Thad grabbed a vanilla biscuit. “And what is wrong with Aaron? He’s so quiet I thought he died a few times.” They shrugged. It was true, their soloist had been, indeed, quiet. No doubt, because he wanted them to beg for his energy. Right. “We should have insisted on taking C with us, at least he’s fun.”

“You know we tried,” Trent sighed, looking out the door “but he had girlfriend issues or something like that. Nick tried too, but he said it was important.”

They kept silent for some more time, turning more and more pages in their heads. If a mind reader were in the room, he would have been left with permanent scars. After all, they had a reason not to voice out _all_ of their ideas, right? David looked at Wes who stared back and then at Thad who turned to Trent.

“I think I have an idea,” the first one whispered and it became even more dramatic when a loud bang echoes through the house. He sighed, getting back to his coffee.

Wes raised his eyebrows knowingly, getting to the second half of his latte. “Guess they beat Nick to it.”

“We should get over there and help,” Trent exhaled, finishing his coffee. “Why did you let Nick guard it, anyway? These guys will crush him there,” because, involuntarily, they would. Nothing could stay between the Warblers and, even if currently baking, cakes. Especially not Nick, he was too kind.

David nibbled on a vanilla cookie. “We figured that since Jeff was with him–”

“Yeah, when did that happen?” Thad cut in, his question sustained by his friend’s nod afterwards. “I mean, it’s good that Jeff actually talks to human beings now – more than before, anyway – but...”

“I heard my name!” said blond peered over the corner at the speaker, narrowing his eyes in mock suspicion, then looking at the older two. “The fortress has fallen; do you have a second plan? We have war victims too.” He goggled at them, acting the horror.

“Three cake deaths!” Nick appeared behind the blond, his hair fully dishevelled, but looking happy nevertheless.

But three was a big number. “Well, don’t look so enthusiastic about it, let’s do something!” David got up and ran with – or after – them to the kitchen, hoping to rescue at least the carrot cake.

o0o0o

They were just putting the last two unharmed cakes deep inside the freezer when Nick’s phone started buzzing incoherently. He didn’t remember ever using something like that as a ringtone.

A few fast huffs as he received the call. “Did you change your ringtone in my phone?” He inquired, stepping away from the maddening crowd.

“She’s going to dump me, Nicky, I know she is,” came an awful wail and he knew instantly that this was going to make him pass supper that evening. The living – now sleeping – room seemed like the best option.

He sighed, sitting down on his sleeping bag. “She’s not. What have you done now, Cade?” Because, really, he had only been gone a couple of days, not even his friend could be that left-footed.

“I...I don’t really know...” and there it began and it kept on going and going for at least twenty blabbering minutes which Nick endured like a true martyr. The usual treatment. “And then she told me to go home and now I don’t know what to do, what have I done?”

The brunet rolled his eyes, finally opening his mouth to talk. “Just don’t walk out on your own date next time, okay? Take her to dinner or lunch or...you know, what couples do.” _You’re bluffing_. He grimaced; how could he know, really?

“Nick, you know it doesn’t work like that with her...what would you do?” Oh, God, not that. He opened his mouth to talk just when he was interrupted. “Hypothetically.” _Yeah, that helps_.

“I would...” _What?_ Running a hand through his hair, he looked around, but the room was empty. Oh, well, there were a few socks that had an eerie air around them, but nothing more. _What would you do, Nick...? I thought you already ran through this relationship stuff at least twice. Yeah, right._ “I would say I’m sorry.”

“I did. Didn’t help.”

“I’d say it again.”

“Just like that? It sounds a little fake and distant, don’t you think?” Cade inquired, doubt clear in his voice, but focusing on the conversation now.

The teen bit his lip, looking at his feet, splayed in front of him. “I’d say it the right way. Um...It’s Jane, just talk with her about it. And go alone on a date with her for a chance...” For safety reasons, the last sentence was barely muttered.

“I guess I should, right...? Anyhow, when are you coming back?” So it was just a self-confidence issue.

“Tomorrow night.” _Wow, it really went by fast._

He could hear Cade thinking. “So are you going home or...you can stay with me until Monday, you know?”

That actually sounded _so_ tempting. “Um...no, mom’s home, she wants to talk.” A pause. “I’ll be fine, really.”

“Call me if anything gets ugly,” his friend voiced seriously and with some kind of worry. Damn, they shouldn’t have taken it that bad. He was going to _live_.

After they ended the conversation, he took a moment to realise how strange the feeling in his chest was now. This was the second time in a couple of days somebody offered him support. And the difference in how each of them made him feel was ridiculous. Oh, well, back to the carrot cake.

o0o0o

“Rise and shine, sleepy heads!”

 _That demon has yellow eyes, oh my God...,_ he couldn’t even scream as he fought with the sleep. He thought he scrambled his arms in front of him, but he couldn’t be sure. He was so tired. A coffee would have been great if, you know, if he ever drank coffee.

“Mooorning, Jeffie,” ringed someone’s voice right into his ear and he jolted upwards, knocking on Aaron’s head enough to make him lose balance. “What the hell?” the older blond rubbed his forehead, half-glaring at the awakened Warbler.

The latter blinked a few times, looking around him at the half-empty sleeping bags. “Do you wake _everyone_ up like that?” Ah, that really hurt.

Straightening his hair, the other sat up, grumbling in the sunlight. “Only the cute ones,” he extended a hand to help him up and waited until he found his glasses.

“Right...” The first floor air smelt like crêpes. “Where are the others?” They were supposed to leave early in the afternoon, but he was pretty sure he hadn’t slept all that much.

Aaron grinned and he eyed him suspiciously. “Nick’s downstairs.”

Jeff blinked. “I didn’t–...oh, whatever!” He grabbed a pair of trousers and a shirt and disappeared into the bathroom, huffing as he passed the lead Warbler.

In the end, he had to stare at himself for a couple minutes, just to be sure that he was wearing his own clothes. He wiggled a comically long, thin striped sleeve. He felt like Tweedle Dum. _Why him? Well, I don’t know._ He blinked again. _Jeff, stop talking to yourself._

It still smelt like good food. He could even feel strawberry jam as he descended the stairs in a hurry, thanking God that his trousers weren’t as oversized as his shirt. As he got to the last couple of steps, he could hear the others enjoying their breakfast. It sounded like a hotel dining room, actually. _I hope I’m not still asleep._

 _Let’s see._ “Nick!” _Let’s see what you do._ He watched his friend turn and give him a good morning smile, already taking another plate to gather his serving too. _This looks safe_. Because Nick always acted strange in his dreams. Not out of character; science-fiction-y strange. _Good mind, the one I have. Really._ “Morning,” he smiled, receiving his portion of crêpes. “Who made these?” he poked one of them with a fork, starting to march after Nick towards a free table.

“David’s uncle,” his friend pointed at their now-approaching host and the rest of the quartet.

“He was passing by,” David explained, taking a seat beside Jeff.

Thad was already digging on his second helping. “A blessing, really,” he mumbled between swallows, making Wes stare at him mother-like.

“Nice headbutt you gave Aaron earlier. He was asking for it; he splashed water on my face,” Trent added while chopping his food carefully.

“True?” Nick asked, raising his eyes towards Jeff.

 _Jeff...,_ a scolding voice sighed and made the blond fix his sight on his plate, as far from Nick’s rosier lips as he could. _Must have been the strawberry filling_. He swallowed on nothing. _What the hell, Jeff?_ “May have,” he attempted a smile, focusing on the breakfast now.

Interesting moment for his long-lost hormones to come into picture, really. _Let’s_ try again, he took a quick peek at his friend and although it wasn’t so bad anymore, his stomach still squirmed a little. _I’m hungry, that must be it. Rest in peace, cr_ _ê_ _pe._

“What are we doing until we leave?”

“Snowball fight,” a fork was raised in the air.

“Sleep,” someone sighed.

“Snowball war!” Another fork.

“What about a movie?”

“Boring! FIGHT!”

“Thad, David, calm down,” Wes hushed, foretelling a disaster. The carrot cake from yesterday wasn’t even all in the ground yet. “Settle this outside,” he added with an evil grin and made for his boots and jacket, followed by the other two immediately and by a reluctant Trent a while after.

Jeff heard a clink of plates that must have meant that Nick had finished. Filling his mouth with another bite, he glanced at him through his bangs. _It’s safe_. He raised his head, formidably keeping a poker face on. All was well.

“You’re not going?” Nick looked at him, putting one plate on top of the other and dutifully cleaning the table. That was nice; Jeff swallowed the remains of his breakfast and got up, following his movements.

One more bite would have been nice, though... “Oh, I’m going to. They won’t stand a chance,” he grinned just before Nick grabbed the platters from his hands and made for the kitchen. “Come with us,” he leaned over the counter, looking for a moment with pure interest at the dishwasher machine. “Please?”

Nick kept his gaze on him only for a couple of seconds before smiling to himself and hiding his face. Jeff presumed he was thinking. “Let me grab my gloves,” the brunet turned again and rushed by him after ruffling his hair hastily.

“What did my hair do to you...” Jeff pouted after he was alone, glancing pitifully at his wayward blond locks.

o0o0o

 _What did you-...Oh, God!_ “Are you okay? Sorry,” Nick bent over a grave in the snow, staring with worry at the boy that made it with his fall. “I was doing fine, stop ducking for me...” a handful of fluffy snow hit his face, making him close his eyes and stay still. “Jeff...” he could hear the blond laugh without getting up. “Jeff,” he said again, dusting his face and then shoving a few snow at the other too.

Getting up slightly, the blond still laughed, shaking his head vigorously before raising his eyes. “Just don’t worry so much, Nicky,” he grinned, feeling his head burn. “We’re not _actually_ murdering each other.”

Getting back to a somewhat more dignified manner, Nick grumbled a response before helping him get up. Luckily, it looked as if the battlegrounds have moved slightly away from them, so they could breathe now.

“Having fun?” Jeff turned towards his friend rapidly, immediately regretting the action, as his gaze grew yellow-dizzy and he lost his ground.

“Jeff!” Nick got a fast hold of his arms and steadied him, taking in his too rosy face. “We should stop,” he whispered, gently touching the blond’s forehead with his gloveless hand.

A small snowball ran right by their faces and made the shorter one freeze while Jeff only groaned at his headache. “Let’s go, yeah.”

“Do you like tea? I’ll make tea,” Nick got out of his winter armour, getting a warm blanket to throw over his friend’s shoulders as the latter seated himself on the couch, close to the fireplace. Covering himself better with the fabric, he nodded, his eyes following Nick until he reached the kitchen.

Clink, tap water, clanks, metal, fire, flame, fizz of wet on hot. Glass, tap water, door, door, box, steps.

He was just getting warm and cosy, looking at the artificial fire in front of him and the blanket smelt of pineapples. Too bad he had to move now; it was no fun waiting there alone, so he marched to the kitchen, still holding to the blue cloth. Again.

Warming water, distant vanilla, door, steps, rug, window, camomile, clink, cinnamon.

Nick smelt of cinnamon, and he was currently hovering over a glassful of still water while a teapot was doing its work on the cooker. “Being a mommy is hard,” Jeff caught himself saying, leaning on the kitchen door. Nick looked up. “I used to get sick all the time and she always made tea.”

The brunet giggled, holding a pill and the up-mentioned glass to him. “This is not hard,” he smiled, looking into his eyes.

Not breaking the contact, Jeff took them both and drank the entire glass, feeling the cold water make its way into his body. “I really hope I don’t have a fever.” He felt like a sly child when the other got closer, to touch his face again. Nick had soft hands.

“I can’t promise anything,” he glanced at the steaming teapot, “but in any case, that should help,” he took his hand away, missing Jeff’s seconds-long pout right after it and went on with the tea preparations.

“ _Joey never met a bike that he didn’t wanna ride and I never met a Toby that I didn’t like.”_ Nick looked from the corner of his eye at the now-humming teen and smiled as he listened and poured tea in two mugs. _Blue and yellow, these are cute_. “ _Scotty liked all the books that I recommended; even if he didn’t, I wouldn’t be offended_.” Jeff stopped and opened his eyes to receive the yellow one. “Sing something too, Nicky,” he grinned, but the other narrowed his eyes at him. “Nick,” he giggled.

Making a few steps back to lean on the counter, the brunet stared intently at the steaming liquid in his cup, apparently going through his repertoire. _Nothing comes to mind..._ , he stressed on the inside, debating whether to take a sip or not.

“Oh, come on...” he heard Jeff say and looked up, but the blond was only arguing with his matted glasses.

He took a deep breath without being noticed. “ _I met a man of two feet tall_.” Taking his glasses off, the blond looked at his form, smiling contently. “ _This man was quite ambitious in a world that is so vicious to us all._ ”

Most of the others were coming over again, having possibly finished packing or battling each other outside. That meant noise. _Would it be weird if I ask him to go somewhere else and sing...?_ Jeff restrained himself from tilting his head as he was doing the longest multi-tasking in his life, thinking and listening at the same time, in full focus. _He should go for lead, this sounds so good_ , he bit his tongue, not wanting to disturb him.

“ _I said ‘Hi’, as he replied he said ‘Listen to these words I have lived by my whole life’_. I think we need to evacuate,” he changed from singing to normal mode faster than Jeff thought possible and he let out something between an agreement at the suggestion and a whine at the lack of music.

The blond shook his long, navy sleeves in the air before grabbing his tea again. “We should,” he murmured into the mug, forcing himself to keep eye contact. He has green eyes...why am I cataloguing this?

“Then come on,” Nick grinned, taking a hold of one of his sleeves as he passed by the door and half-dragging him out of surprise to a quieter room.

“Not so fast!” Out of nowhere, they were both grabbed by the back of their shirts and seated on a couch. Wes had his business face on.

o0o0o

The bus ran right into a hole in the road and made all of them jump on their seats. Jeff held tight on the back of his own as he stared at the great group of people behind them. “Do you think we can make this?” he whispered to Nick, who had chosen not to do as much as look at the others’ conference. He could never keep up with their...personalities. Not after they’ve been at it since noon.

“Okay, so...,” Wes grabbed an agenda, looking over it.

“I want a duet,” Aaron voiced out, not a hint of hesitation on his face. When the others fidgeted, he continued. “I demand it.”

David leant over his seat. “Hold on there, prima donna, we’re voting here.”

The lead scoffed. “For who is to sing with me.” Grimacing like the mother hen he was, Wes hit the blond over his head with his agenda. “Okay, what’s the plan?” he finally gave in.

“I have a weird feeling...” Jeff whispered to Nick and hid himself better from their view. His friend widened his eyes at him, but then kept on reading one of the comic books he borrowed before they left the villa.

“Well, it’s a three-song-challenge...” Trent started.

“So we were thinking of three leads. Duet or not,” Thad finished, getting ready to back up his idea.

Aaron thought for a moment, then smirked. “Is Jeff one of them?” and to make his point, he caught the other blond’s gaze. Nick shifted in his seat to look at them too now.

“Not yet,” David grinned between them. “But we decided he has a pretty good chance.”

In their slang, that was a definite yes. Jeff didn’t know if he was supposed to be happy or frightened. _That means they already have the other one. I’m guessing Thad_. He looked sideways at Nick, who didn’t seem to be overly-affected by the decision _. I really want him to sing too._

So “Can we duel?” came out of his mouth before he could properly analyse it. The Warblers stared at him for a moment before debating. Surprisingly or not, they chose ‘yes’. They haven’t held duels in a huge amount of time already.


	7. Boys-scattering flower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A sad period of time in which Jeff is homebound. Nick's roommate is a straight Wallace Wells. Jane is a gladiator. Somebody dies.

The shutters flickered open and an unwelcome morning light erupted into the room. A groan was stifled into a pillow as more steps started to march around the room, apparently making as much noise as they could. The tap was turned on and the bathroom door remained open, somebody brushed their teeth, played with the plastic glasses on the sink and returned to the room. All of this while not making a single human noise. Covering his head better, Nick let a louder groan out. _Wait, who’s in my room?_ He had a small panic attack as he rose quickly from under his sheets.

“Ow, man...” he rolled his eyes at his almost naked colleague who was styling his hair in the mirror near his bed.

“Morning to you too,” the other said, glaring at himself. “And nice to see you again, on that matter,” he continued sarcastically, battling with his dark brown hair.

Nick let himself fall back on his bed, inhaling the morning air and for a few moments forgetting about the fact that it might have been late. Or that he had to get up. Opening his eyes, he examined his roommate whom he had not seen for a month now.

Lewis was still stalking around the room with only a towel around his waist and Nick wondered if he had really forgotten about his sexual orientation. He had told him pretty soon after they have been roomed together, after all. It seemed like the decent thing to do if they were going to do that. _That must mean he simply doesn’t care_ , the brunet frowned. _That’s rude, what if I feel something?_ He didn’t, though. Nick called it sheer luck.

“Are you okay now?”

“Yeah, pretty much. I planned to come back just as the holiday was over, but mom wanted me to stay a little longer.” Lewis prepared his uniform. “How are you?”

Nick finally persuaded himself to get totally out of bed and stalk around the room, looking for his day clothes too. “Good, I guess,” he stopped and stared at his tie, thinking, before turning to face his friend. “Did I tell you? Mom actually gave me The Talk. Last week,” he pressed on his last words with inappropriate amusement, looking incredulously at the other.

“Congratulations,” Lewis laughed too before giving him a pitying gaze. “Hey, some got it when they turned 21, so you’re a lucky case. What prompted her?” He asked lightly and was surprised by Nick’s gloom look. “Oh, he did...”

He sighed, taking a wrinkle-free shirt from his wardrobe. “Yeah, dad uses her as a secret weapon. It was quite similar to our paintball matches, you know?” he laughed, getting closer to the bathroom.

“But it’s okay now...?” The other tried, unbuckling his towel.

Nick thought for a little while, hand on the door knob. “Yeah, they’re fine with it. More or less.”

“Good.”

o0o0o

Wes and David followed the redhead like two pigeons, making him encircle the common room more than once, furniture included. “Kitty, kitty...” they chanted after him and the look on his face was making the others crack with laughter.

“Come on, Miles, just tell us what you want,” Wes hurried his face and stopped in front of the boy, using puppy eyeing him hard.

He received a cold, ice-blue glare. “Leave me alone,” he faced David “and give me back my book!”

“Just one song?” The thief smiled sweetly, showing him the stolen object, but keeping it out of reach.

“No!” Miles started, exasperated and he probably would have kept on fighting for his novel if Cade hadn’t burst into the room, searching the place with wild eyes.

“Guys!” he flailed even though it wasn’t necessary anymore, as he had won their attention. He took three long, deep breaths, making the others cough in expectance. “Jane’s coming!”

The room went crazy as the blazer boys started cleaning the tables, couches, shelves and anything that looked noticeably bad. Some fled and some came to the brown-haired boy to ask for an explanation, while others just complained to the skies.

“Why? What have you done?” Thad ran to him and eyed him dangerously, shaking an empty bag of snacks in the air.

Mile quickly retrieved his book from where David had let it fall in the agitation and glanced over at them. “Doesn’t she usually come here, anyway?”

Cade goggled at him. “Not so early in the semester, though!”

“ _Calm down, everything’s gonna be alright_ ,” Aaron passed by them, singsonging without a pattern. “No, but really, get her a cake or something, she likes it,” the blond turned to face him, swirling his green lollipop in the air. Cade’s jaw tightened at a thought and he resumed to marching the room rapidly.

“She told me she wants to speak with you,” he mumbled and the lead Warbler raised his eyebrows at him. The other was close to freaking out.

“Hey,” Aaron put a hand on his shoulder, keeping him in place. “Chill. I’m out of it. When is she coming?”

“Tomorrow,” he muttered and the rest of the room groaned with despair and relief all the same. They could life their high-testosterone lives for one more day.

o0o0o

**(7:34 pm) From: Jeff**

_I’ll be back sometime next week :) today I learned that you can make pasta on your own.. why would you do that??_

Nick grinned at his phone as he closed the door behind him and was startled to hear the shower running inside. Oh, right, he had his roommate back; he had forgotten how lively it all seemed like that. Shoving a few books and tapes off his bed, he lay down, typing his response. As he expected, Jeff had caught a cold just as they came back from their trip. All the better for him, his holiday had been extended with one week.

**(7:36 pm) To: Jeff**

_don’t tell me you tried that..._

_too bad, you’ll miss Jane’s visit. C is stepping on needles_

_drink your tea  :) - n._

“Boyfriend?” Lewis’ voice startled him as the boy stepped out of the bathroom, drying his short hair with an orange towel.

The dark-haired teen shoved his phone to the side. “No.” His roommate smirked, but Nick ignored the challenge, turning on the TV. “Emily?” he asked, not looking at his colleague.

“She’s good, charming as always,” he could hear his proud grin. “I shouldn’t expect a new e-mail for at least a couple of days.”

His friend’s girlfriend wasn’t really so far away that they had to be reduced to meeting only once a week, twice at best, but they still kept on doing it. They even had some unwritten rules of texting each other. Never daily, never over 2000 words. Nick rolled his eyes at them every time. Why did they have to make everything so complicated?

If it was him, he was sure that he’d have a pretty simple, calm relationship, just like normal people do. _Oh, how could you know?_ Rang in his head and he pushed it away. These days it was harder and harder for Nick to realise what part of him was thanking God for letting him lead a peaceful _single_ life and which one was craving for affection.

It was easier until then to set them apart and to choose the simplest one. It was easier because, well, Nick wasn’t one to build false hopes and crush on the many _straight_ people around him. Or on Aaron, who had always been openly bisexual. Yes, he was good looking, even a fool could tell him that, but he was just so...distant. Most of them knew that his arrogance was just a mask, but it was so hard to take off that they gave up after a year or two.

 _So, Nick...,_ he swallowed hardly, stopping on History Channel, _what gives?_ (Yet another _Clash of the Gods_ , just perfect.) Over the past two weeks he tried so hard not to think about it. He didn’t need that idea formed coherently in his head. He didn’t need it at all.

But then again why not? Idea, idea, idea. _Jeff_.

He groaned maybe too audibly and his roommate looked at him curiously. “What happened?”

Nick sighed, beaten up. “Nothing. Of course it’s nothing...nothing,” he mumbled, flicking the channels again.

“Whatever you say...” the other put his reading glasses on and made himself comfortable in his bed.

 _Going back...Nick? Jeff?_ Damn his internal voices, they would have been nicer if they were autonomous. Yes, Jeff was the problem he never meant him to be. He didn’t even like him enough to develop a crush. _Yet_. He glared. But Jeff was there and wasn’t _practically, hopelessly, irremediably_ straight at the moment. That sounded sad, even for Nick. _Don’t think of going after someone just because he’s the only one you may have a shot at._

But it wasn’t like that. He liked Jeff and they were getting along and he wasn’t so ignorant, to say that he wasn’t attracted to him. At least physically. Not only once did he question other people’s sanities at not seeing just _how good_ his friend looked. _Like, seriously...you don’t have to be gay to see that._

 _Right?_ His stomach squirmed a little and he disliked it. _Not now, not him, please, no_. Brainiacs on the TV. _Why not?_ Okay, one day, he was going to make a mental list and see just how doomed he was, but not then.

_He has a nice smile..._

_Nick, stop._

_And he’s cute when he laughs._

_No..._

_He’s so caring and has these really crazy ideas._

_No, Nick, that’s too much, that’s past physical attraction._

_He likes me._

_..._

_You know, as a friend._

“Shit,” he slapped himself automatically, genuinely waking himself up. Glancing left, he saw that Lewis was asleep too and that the TV was turned off. _Really? When did this all happen?_ Something heavy was pressing on his chest and he whined softly when he saw it was nothing material. _Calm down, Nick, at least it wasn’t one of those dreams._

_Yet._

o0o0o

“Okay, I see her,” Cade stepped down the armchair and ran to the window, then to the clothes hanger, then to the window again, watching his girlfriend walk her way to the building.

“We believe in you, man,” David and Thad patted him on a shoulder each before pushing him into the hallway.

Nick was waiting patiently in a corner of the common room where he could both stay out of chaos’ reach and watch his best friend greet Jane. Beside him, Miles was silently watching the scene develop too, hiding his face in a comic book every time somebody looked over.

“Despite what you may think, things really turned ugly once with another girl,” Nick started talking out of habit, only too late realising that he hadn’t exchanged more than two words with the one next to him until that moment.

Miles narrowed his eyes. “Is this safe?”

“Definitely.”

The girl entered the school, still shoving a few bits of snow off her boots. She looked over at the intense stares of the boys in uniform. “What’s with all of you?” she raised an eyebrow and they all returned to their afternoon activities as if nothing had happened. _Smart_.

“Hi...” the boyfriend approached her with a careful smile and she engulfed him in a chilly hug. He could smell the cold air on her clothes.

Letting go a moment later, she touched his lips lightly with hers and smiled. “Hello,” she flattened some of his rebel threads of brown hair. “How are you doing? The coach set us free early today,” Jane grinned, starting to unzip her jacket and letting her basketball equipment rest near an armchair.

“Awesome,” Cade relaxed – thankfully – and gentlemanly helped her get out of her overcoat. “We were just discussing out future performances,” he stared hard at his colleagues, obtaining a few nods. “Come on over, it’s more comfortable here,” and he guided her to the common room, making her sit down with him on an empty couch. “Will you wait for me?”

“Sure, at least I’ll get a ride home that way,” she smirked, tucking her long brown hair behind her ear.

In the other corner, Miles leant a bit closer to Nick. “Is that it? Where is my T-Rex? I expected something at least as fearsome.”

The brunet chuckled before whispering back. “It wouldn’t be as fun without them all joining C’s paranoia beforehand.” Backing out, the other laughed softly, opening his novel again, but keeping an eye out for anything strange.

Nick was just starting to actually think about leaving and going back to his room, seeing as they were pretty much okay and safe, when he heard it. It wasn’t a loud noise, but nobody could mistake that humming voice. _Oh, come on, not now._ _I can’t do damage control today, I’m deadly tired...,_ Nick sighed as Aaron almost stepped in. The new presence hadn’t escaped Cade either, unfortunately.

“Ah...,” the blond stopped dead before chuckling and starting to turn his back to them again. “No worries, I’m out of here, I’m out,” he caught some of the other students’ attention too, but that was something common.

Cade wanted to say something, but Jane stepped in before him. “No, wait a minute.” Aaron stopped, keeping his back to them for the dramatic effect. “Have you talked to Charlie?”

“The boy who was not a girl whom Thad says he dated?” Miles muttered to Nick, signalling towards the blond. The other shrugged, giving him a silent unknowing look.

“Um...no,” the soloist turned, crossing his arms and raising an eyebrow at her. “Why?”

Jane hesitated for a second. “He transferred.”

Aaron narrowed his eyes. “Out of McKinley?” She nodded. “Why?” That made her blink. He waited.

“How...how long is it since you last talked?” The way her eyes searched his face was strange and she clearly feared something now. The Warbler frowned and the few onlookers kept silent.

“Since...,” he fumbled the carpet with his shoe, avoiding her gaze. “Since I broke up with him...?” he barely whispered, raising his gaze just enough to catch her exasperatedly disappointed groan at the ceiling.

Sighing and ruffling her hair, she gestured negligently at him, Cade catching her hands before she had the chance to hurt herself. A few unintelligible mutters later, she breathed evenly again. “He was...They...Oh, God! _Just call him_!!”

 _Not good_. At first, the other’s eyes just widened entirely, their grey-blue colour becoming lighter, but soon after that he put on his pissed off face. And attitude, on that matter.

“I don’t have his fucking number anymore!” he spread his arms at the girl, raising his tone maybe just a little too much. Cade was on the edge of the couch, holding Jane, but her anger was exceeding the other’s temperament.

“Yes, you do!” she stated, glaring at him and, contrary to their expectations, the blond didn’t retort, just groaned and stalked away.

 _Wait, he really does...?_ Nick raised a sceptical eyebrow after the boy’s shadow. He wouldn’t admit it, but he had actually studied him a bit in his first year. Just for further reference. And because of that he knew that this wasn’t himself. Something was going on, but it wasn’t his field of action, so he let it pass. They would eventually find out if he really needed help; or so he hoped, at least.

Repositioning himself in his seat, Cade half-whispered. “Was it really that bad?”

The girl nodded, evening her breath. “You’ll see soon enough.”

By that time, despite how much he tried to stop himself, Nick was already near them. “But what happened?” Jane gave him a meaningless look, evidently still deep in thoughts she didn’t want to voice out. Or couldn’t.

After casting each of the listeners a look, she let out a long, defeated sigh. “You don’t know Charlie... He had some really big problems with bullies for the past few months and he transferred to a private school.” Oh, well, that sounded fair. There were many who’ve done that.

“Not here?” Cade asked and then it hit them. _Oh...that must have hurt his ego. What could he have done to him?_ Nick was shamefully intrigued.

All the same, their story-teller shook her head. “No. It was unbecoming. He just wanted to go as fast as he could and he had to choose between Dalton and Hammond; the others have responded faster.”

Her boyfriend bit his lip, trying to word out his idea. “So it wasn’t because...?”

“Oh...no, I don’t think he even knew that Aaron was from Dalton. I wouldn’t have known either, if it wasn’t for you, after all.” At her words, Nick frowned, glaring at the coffee table.

“That’s not gonna end well...,” he said.

o0o0o

**(3:17 pm) To: Jeff**

_...am I really doing this?_

**(3:18 pm) From: Jeff**

_sure! go there and show them, nick. what’s the worst it can happen?_

Nick fiddled with his guitar, staying on the side of his bed. He was so nervous his throat and chest were hurting and the Warbler meeting should have already started in the main building. _I never dreaded something so much in my life_ , he thought before remembering his coming out and yeah, maybe that was worse, but it didn’t mean this was getting easier.

 _I’ll forget the lyrics. Blaine always forgot the lyrics. Oh, God, what am I going to do if it sounds awful?_ He started biting unconsciously at his nails, staring blankly in front of him.

**(3:23 pm) From: Jeff**

_did you get there yet? I can’t believe I’m missing this..._

Nick smiled.

**(3:25 pm) To: Jeff**

_it’s only fair. I missed mr brightside too :)_

Ten minutes into the meeting. They had no specific order, but Wes had literally ordered every single one of them to audition with a song. For now, all the three places were free, much to Aaron’s disappointment. _I could wait. After all, Jeff will audition only when he comes back_ , he pondered, but he knew there was no way he was getting away with this.

 _Come on, Nick. It’s music. Music! You know, that thing you’re obsessed about?_ He ruffled his hair wildly before realising the damage and running to the mirror, trying hard to flatten it again. _It’s music, you’re kind of good at that..._ Allowing himself one last whine, he grabbed his guitar and marched hurriedly to the Warbler Hall.

Trent was singing, but he was at his last verse already, so they all turned when Nick stepped into the room. The guitar was catching their attention too. _They’ll want me to go right to it._ Thinking about it, it was better to just be over with it already. Wes, Thad and David smirked knowingly at him from the council’s table. Nick tried to smile back.

“Aaron, would you like to go next or should we let Nick?” Wes asked after a single blow of his mighty gavel.

The blond raised his eyes to him and they were blank. They all waited a few long moments before he spoke. “I’ll pass.” The boys gasped; he rolled his eyes. “I’ll sing next week.” It was Friday.

“Oh...well, okay, if you’re not feeling well,” the senior concluded, exchanging a worried look with the other two members. “Okay. Nick?”

The brunet felt his legs turn to jelly, but he still managed to get himself a chair and unwillingly put it in front of the others. _Here goes nothing_ , he inhaled shakily and started strumming the guitar.

“ _I miss the sound of your voice and I miss the rush of your skin_ ,” his voice came out a little low at the beginning, but soon enough he accommodated to the tension and focused on the song, ignoring the agreeing nods of his colleagues. “ _And I miss the still of the silence as you breathe out and I breathe in_.”

Somebody had scribbled ‘ _The Lights in Us’_ in the wood of an armchair. One of the teens could now feel it under his fingertips. The words were coarse on the burnished surface and, as he pressed his palm harder on them, they eventually gave him the sensation they sank it. Even if they didn’t, they were at least there. He remembered them.

A splinter got under his skin and the apathetic blond retracted his hand with a hiss.

“ _If I could walk on water_ ,” Nick continued, sitting a little straighter. “ _If I could tell you what’s next,”_ the ones in the council smiled knowingly at each other. “ _Make you believe, make you forget_ ,” without a sound, Aaron got up and exited the room, offering Wes an apologetic look. That alone was strange enough. “ _So come on get higher, loosen my lips_ ,” the singer started the chorus, smiling to himself.

It sounded light and fresh with the smallest hint of the fact that he did not use quite the right emotion. He couldn’t express love, so he had chosen happiness. When, a couple of minutes later, he finished his song, he got a few woos and pats on the back that didn’t let his grin fall off his face. He was going to freak out soon, but, for now, he had to get rid of the adrenaline.

“Dude...,” Thad breathed.

“Why the Hell haven’t you sang solo before?” David gestured energetically and got up to give him a side-hug.

Unfortunately for him, Nick could only laugh at the moment and Wes hit the table twice more with his gavel before nodding to him. “Who’s next?” he asked amusedly when the others seemed to fall deeper in their seats. Before they could even start to argue, however, a mop of wavy brown hair peeked into the room and quickly pulled Nick away to the hallway.

“W-what happened?” the shorter boy widened his eyes. He had lost his guitar in the crowd back inside too; he hoped somebody had saved it.

Cade got a hold of his shoulders, whimpering wordlessly. Nick waited, raising an eyebrow. “Birthday! It’s coming! It’s got to be big! Help me make it big, Nick!”

“Birthday? Wait, you remembered?” he stared incredulously.

“Yes!!”

“Oh...wow. Well, that’s already...,” he coughed. “What do you want to do?”

“Tea party.”

“...tea....party?” Nick tried. Nope, it didn’t sound good even when _he_ said it.

His best friend beamed. “Yes! It’s got to be insane! Well, not really... But I want to _wow_ her, you know?”

The other smiled motherly. “Are you sure Jane’s the right person to try to _wow_?”

A stern look. “She’s the one.”

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Right...anyway! It’s got to be in a park,” his grey eyes were stern. Nick tried to point out that it was freezing outside. “It’ll be spring by next week! We can do it!”

“We? C, you know I’m not the best at these things...” he fumbled with his shirt, examining the hall. He really wasn’t.

“Lies,” Cade brushed it away. “You’re ten times better than me and you haven’t even dated yet.”

 _Is he doing it on purpose?_ Nick winced, even if the other’s intention clearly hasn’t been that to rub salt in his wound. Inhaling, he prepared the rest of the speech.

“You’re always helping me with this stuff and she always likes your ideas.” Abruptly, he smiled at his friend. “You’re going to make somebody really happy one day. Presumably soon,” he mumbled at the end. “But please help me until then? Please?” _Puppy eyes._

“...okay. Let me finish our rehearsal or whatever it is we’re doing, first,” he patted his shoulder as Cade started jumping around and returned to the eerily quiet room.

“Um...Nick...,” David tried.

 _Guitar? Oh, God. Guitar?_ It was intact, near an armchair. It was safe. _Thank God. But then what happened?_ He looked at his friend who was fidgeting with his fingers. An unspoken question.

 “Somebody found it around there,” he pointed at the reading corner. “The cleaning lady has been moving the furniture and...”

“What?” He froze when David showed him his iPod. Its screen didn’t look right at all. _Oh, no..._

_Baby..._


	8. That’s your golden coin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff is just a really, really good friend, guys.

A ray of sunlight. “Miles, what have you done to this place? It smells amazing!” the blond burst into the room, flowing with energy.

“Jeff, I’m sleeping,” his friend hid his face in the pillow, ignoring the morning light.

 _Oh, details_ , Jeff marched to the bathroom and it was just as fresh as the rest of their room. _Witchcraft!_ He tested the sink. His bed was made and somebody had substantially cleaned up his side of the room too. He looked at his folded clothes and grinned.

“Aww. Did you get bored?” he poked the other’s shoulder and was sent a death glare. “S-sorry. Look, it’s barely 7 am, I’ll just go downstairs and eat. You get some more sleep,” he abandoned his dark blue jacket on his bed and flew out of the room, leaving his disturbed friend to doze off again.

As was normal, he tried to take advantage of all the energy accumulated at home, knowing that soon enough he was just going to be deadly tired every single day again. He considered texting Nick as he descended the first flight of stairs; he didn’t really want to spend his first hour back at school alone in the dining hall.

In the end, however, he decided not to, but went for the same person’s door instead, listening cautiously before getting ready to knock. There was definitely life in there, but he didn’t quite know what to make of it for now. A knock passed imperceptively and, the next thing, he was pushing the door open.

“Give.it.BACK!” Nick tugged on his shirt harder, making the other bend over the bed slightly as he wasn’t giving up his new possession. Neither of them seemed to see him just yet.

From the doorway, Jeff smiled lazily, but just as Nick got a better grip of the piece of clothing his eyes wandered on their own accord to the same one’s bare chest and his smile faltered. He inhaled sharply, using his nose and offered himself ten seconds to stare before he would eventually freak out.

After the timer went out, however, instead of returning his gaze to the battle, he directed it at his friend’s nice-fitting black jeans – _thank God_ they were admitted in the uniform. Unconsciously, he even tilted his head to the side, swallowing drily when the other turned.

“Jeff?” Nick asked, finally getting his white shirt back and keeping it safe in his arms as he approached the door.

 _That was **so** inappropriate_ , Jeff let out a shaky breath, feeling his cheeks suddenly burn up – which wasn’t something he usually did. Thankfully, Jeff didn’t blush a lot. _Thankfully_. “Hey, Nick,” he tried a smile which now felt wrong on his face and forced his eyes to stay locked with the other’s. Better there than elsewhere.

The brunet started clothing himself up again, his movement getting faster and faster by the second. _Oh, great. First thing in the morning: make Nick uncomfortable. Good job, Jeff._ But that faintest dust of pink on his friend’s cheeks looked _so_ pretty. _Excuse me?_

Big hazel eyes stared at him for some moments before wrinkling in a genuine smile. “Welcome back to Wonderland,” he closed in the space as he put a hand on the blond’s shoulder, but refrained from his intended hug just in time. A cough made him glare at his back. “Do you know Lewis? He’s just come back from his mini-vacation.”

“Hello,” Jeff grinned clumsily, his brown eyes flicking from one boy to the other.

Lewis’ smile was a pinch too evil, Nick thought. “Nice to meet you,” he said, leaving his blazer unbuttoned for the moment.

“Are you going downstairs? Wait for me, I’ll be ready in a sec’,” Nick pulled him inside the room by the wrist and got his own tie and blazer from the drawer. Jeff barely had a chance to get to the second row of tapes when he was poked again. “Come on.”

o0o0o

 _What the Hell is she saying...?_ Nick squinted at the teacher, as if this would help him see the letters roll off her tongue. She went on, oblivious, leaving him to search for the current exercise in the book. _This **looks** like what she was on about a few minutes ago_ , he stared at the page for a little while before returning his attention to the young woman next to the blackboard.

 _Why doesn’t she shut up already?_ Jeff played with his pen, turning it in his fingers dexterously. French by far wasn’t his favourite subject but, unlike the others, he didn’t have to worry about it, as he was already more or less fluent. _Thank God_ for private lessons and for his mother’s obsessions.

And this was also one of the few classes he shared with Nick, as the other was focused more on literature and language skills than on science and maths. Glancing over to the other side of the room, he caught his eyes and smiled pityingly when the brunet made a helpless gesture at him.

A few more minutes.

“I don’t know, I don’t seem to get it anymore. I used to understand her until now...” As soon as the third bell of the day rang, Nick walked off to where Jeff was casually waiting for him and started his habitual whining. Yes, even _he_ had those.

Searching for his yet-again lost DS pen – how was it always not in his right place he did not know – and walking down the hall at the same time, Jeff spared a few moment for a short chuckle. “I think she’s been to Brussels during the holiday or something; her accent is truly weird now. Found it.”

Nick smiled. “What do you have now?” They had passed the corridor towards _his_ next class, after all.

“Chemistry,” the blond shook the platform in the air, his eyes wide behind the glasses as if to mark the obvious. This particular class was like a prolonged break for him ever since the substitute arrived. _Oh, he can’t know that, right._ “It’s boring. What do you have?” _Considerate, Jeff. You should be proud of yourself._ The bad thing was...he actually felt a little proud.

“Oh, well...good luck, then,” Nick smiled, looking into his eyes.

This was an important skill for social interactions and he didn’t want to lose it even if he eventually ended up staring too long. _You should always look into the other’s eyes if you don’t have anything to hide_ , and he pretty much didn’t have anything left.

He sighed as they stopped in front of the laboratory. “Double history, _fun_ ,” he said sarcastically, scanning the sky outside the window.

“Hmm, but he’s pretty deaf and mad,” Jeff laughed. “I used to listen to music in his classes last year.”

At this, Nick offered him a pained look before he could stop himself. Taken aback, the blond let his smile fall and gestured for him to tell what was wrong. “I had an iPod funeral on Friday. I don’t know what happened, but it was deadly smashed when David found it,” his voice didn’t shake, but there was genuine sorrow in his eyes. His baby was gone, after all.

“Ah...s-sorry. You don’t have a spare one, do you?” That was a very unfitting choice of words, if the look on the brunet’s face was anything to go by. In an instant, he started rumbling through his messenger bag again, his fingers tangling in a set of wires sometime later. “Here, take mine. I haven’t used it in a while...but I hope it’s still working. I think I’ve charged it, though...,” he glanced at the golden iPod that was now in Nick’s hands and let out a relieved breath when it turned on.

After looking from his friend to the music player with wide, surprised eyes for quite some time, the shorter teen finally blinked and grinned at the one in front of him. “Thank you, really.” Maybe there was too much gratitude in his voice, he considered. Jeff’s cheeks were slightly pinker now. _It’s cute_ , he didn’t even try to hide his thoughts now.

“I-I don’t have a lot in it...hope you’ll find something you like,” the other voiced out, still looking at the device, thinking if his fever didn’t just suddenly come back.

The brunet started untangling the ear buds, smiling to himself while doing so. “I think I will. Um...I’ll give it back to you after school?”

Thankfully, Jeff snapped out of his light embarrassment. “Yeah, I’ll come get it,” but after considering a bit, he waved it off. “Actually, you’d better keep it.” Nick goggled at him. “Um...until you get a new one, you know? Add whatever you want, it really needs some better things inside,” he grinned just as the bell rang again. “See you.” And Nick waved back, putting the ear buds on and strolling to his designed classroom.

o0o0o

“Nick...Nick. Nick, are you asleep?” A poke. Two. The boy didn’t even stir.

 _I didn’t even know he was physically able to sleep during class_ , Cade bent over the desk and checked his friend’s breathing. Well, he was alive. The other students left either for the parking lot or for the dorms and he started the poking again.

“Nick. Nick, come on, I’m hungry. Here,” he took one of his ear buds out and waited as the brunet started blinking and whining softly raising his head off the desk. “Man, I think you’ve slept for two hours straight,” his best friend chuckled.

 _Where am I...?_ was all Nick had in mind at that moment, but Cade’s voice was slowly bringing him back to reality. Looking around, he recognised the history classroom. _Oh, God...,_ he rubbed his eyes and yawned. His arm was bearing the evidence of his unplanned nap in the wrinkles he got from his notebook and pen.

“Did he see me?” he asked, forcing himself to blink constantly.

Cade snorted. “Does he ever see anyone?”

Reluctantly, Nick got up, dragging his bag from under his desk and only now becoming aware of the music still playing in one of his ears. He checked Jeff’s iPod, ignoring the weird look Cade gave the device. _So this was it...,_ he had somehow ended up in a long playlist of trip hop songs. No wonder he slept so well.

“Huh? Straight back to the dorm? Do you not feel well?” his best friend walked faster to catch up to him and accompanied him on the stairs.

Nick huffed, turning off the music player for the moment as he fished for his key in his bag. “I need to lie put some music on...,” and he motioned to the iPod.

“You got another one? This fast?!” the other’s wavy hair shook as he climbed the stairs to the first floor.

The room was empty, but cold, as Lewis had obviously left both windows open to ‘clear’ the air. Letting his bag fall on the bed, Nick took off his blazer and seated himself at his desk. So much mess. There was no way he could organise all the papers that were hiding his laptop from view, so he just collected them all and let them fall in the nobody-knows-what-these-are box at the side of the desk.

He looked with sorrowful eyes at his baby’s USB cable for a moment, almost deciding not to use it on this one, but he needed music for the rest of the day – and maybe for even longer than he possibly wanted, as he was short on money and he declined to use his parents’ for this certain acquisition.

“Well?” Cade seated himself cross-legged on the bed, stealing a Mars bar from Nick’s bedside table and rapidly starting to munch on it. If Nick was going to deal with music, it was clear as day that they were not going to have any lunch.

The brunet sighed as the two devices connected. “It’s Jeff’s.” It wasn’t as spacious as his own, sadly. This was going to take longer than predicted. He fished for the Mars bar before seeing it half-finished in his friend’s hand and then retrieved a Twix from one drawer.

Cade gave him an appreciative hum and he guessed it wasn’t because of his tastes. Cade never learned how to appreciate the greatness that was Twix. Well, if wasn’t Nick’s favourite either but...

“Just so you know, I’d feel so proud as a matchmaker if anything goes down between you two,” he chewed contently.

The other started searching through his library. “Jeff’s not gay.” _Better go like this. It’s never good to get your hope too high up._ He got to the second half of its memory, but he wasn’t going to erase any of Jeff’s music no matter what.

“Oh, did you ask?” Cade’s eyes were wide with curiosity, while he tried to finish his last bite.

He searched for the best way to say it without lying too much and still shutting his friend’s mouth at the same time. “He mentioned it.” He did, right? He wasn’t gay, he just didn’t know if he was straight or not.

 _And looking like that, he’ll find some girl soon enough anyway..._ Instead of slapping himself, he pressed a random button on the keyboard. _Don’t objectify him, Nick._ He wasn’t doing that; he was just stating the obvious. Jeff was great in every aspect. He just needed to show a little interest and one person or another would come along. They just stayed at a distance now because he looked too lost in his own world, Nick was sure.

Another three folders and there was so little space left. He narrowed his eyes at the last few songs. “Have they decided who’s going to sing yet?” the brown-haired teen inquired again, feeling the need of a subject change.

“Not yet, there still are a few left to sing,” by that, he meant Aaron and Jeff, but no need to mention the latter now again. “Sometime this week, I guess.” The playlist was done.

o0o0o

 _Sometime_ proved to be Friday for Jeff.

“Did you _really_ have to choose this way out?”

“Come on, look at how nice it is outside! It’s spring!” Jeff twirled twice with his feet on the grass, making the soles of his Converse green, and grinned at his roommate.

“Need I remind you that you have a duet today?” he sighed at the blond’s puppy eyes. “You’ve had this look all week now. Is he really that bad?”

The other pondered for a while, shifting his blazer in his hands as they approached the main building, with the Warbler Hall. He had decided that, for the best, he wasn’t going to wear it for his ‘audition’. The air was still cold and he had a well-expected knot in his throat.

He tried to smother it out with a laugh. “Well, no. He’s a lot nicer when he has to sing.”

Miles pushed him through the door. “Then go and get it over with.”

o0o0o

Nick glanced up as the last two Warblers entered the room a while after they were all there. Ever since he got the godly gift of a music player from his friend they had fewer and fewer chances to talk, as Aaron took hold of Jeff and succeeded in convincing him to have a duet. They were running late with their Regionals rehearsals, so the council had accepted them to sing together.

Catching his eyes, Jeff took a deep breath which he let out as soon as Nick smiled, trying to be reassuring. It was going to be okay and he was kind of excited. Not motioning for the rest to quiet down just yet, Aaron marched with a CD to the large stereo in the room.

As the music began to play, Jeff leaned back on a desk, looking at his partner who was idly hitting the floor at the same time with the song beats. Nick held hid breath for a second.

“ _Oh, girl, I don’t know all the reasons why I found the answer looking in your eye. I go out walking all day long. Take away this lonely man, soon he will be gone_ ,” the lead Warbler turned in place, singing with an impassive expression that came in contrast with the gorgeous way in which he played with the song.

He had the ability to remind them every time he sang why exactly they’d put up with his eccentricity for so long. Sure, it was still hard to choose only one lead, they had many more really good singers in their group too. And now they had to choose three of them. Nick shifted his gaze towards Jeff at the same time as the now-silent soloist.

“ _’Cause I’ll tell you everything about living free,”_ Jeff continued the song with a clear, steady voice that the brunet now found even more pleasant. So much that he could not help but let his smile widen visibly. “ _Yes, I can see you girl, can you see me?”_ the one singing grinned, feeling so much more relaxed now that he saw that his voice wasn’t going to crack.

Near them, Wes was beaming along with David, while Thad was just staring open-mouthed from Aaron to Jeff, his eyes full of bewilderment. _There goes the duet..._ , Nick thought, concentrating on the song rather than on the slight emptiness in his stomach as the realisation.

“ _You don’t need to know what I do all day. It’s as much as I know, watch it waste away,”_ he finished, letting the other continue and sending a happy, sparkly-eyed look to Nick, who chuckled before motioning for him to look at the ones in the council who were giving him the thumbs up.

Aaron went on with the song, receiving quite a few admiring stares, even more so when he finally let his mask fall and gave in to the song, picking it back up only before letting Jeff get on with his second half. As he apparently didn’t have any more lines to say, he collapsed in a seat near Nick, picking his phone and checking it as the other blond rocked that song till the end.

Turning the screen off again, he glanced up and smirked ever so slightly. Nick noticed and they exchanged a look while Aaron grinned in his natural way. “You know...”

He nudged his head towards Jeff in front of them and the brunet immediately took in the way his blond hair fell over his glasses as he sang the last few words. _It’s okay to stare, Nick._ Aaron interrupted this nice activity, however, as he went on.

“I may just as well go after sexy geeks for a while,” he smirked, but the smug expression fell as soon as his phone vibrated inside his pocket and he nearly evaporated from the room.

This – however unpleasant for his mind – left Nick with an almost burning sensation in his chest as he frowned after the lead Warbler. He couldn’t...he wouldn’t let him... _Jeff isn’t just someone Aaron could..._ Almost groaning, he shook his head and messed his hair up habitually.

“Nick? Are you okay?” When he looked up, Jeff was out of his singing mood and glancing with almost-worry at him. He nodded, sparing him a grin too for good measure. “How was I?” Jeff bipolared his way to an ecstatic mood and got a few more clamps on the back while doing so.

Nick smiled broadly, ready to let out an incoherent thought when they were interrupted. “Where the Hell have you been keeping your talents until now?” David burst out, throwing his arm over Jeff’s shoulder and ruffling his hair until it stuck out in every possible direction and his glasses went askew.

“I see what he meant when he said he wanted a duet with you...It works magic,” Thad thought out loud, getting a baffled look from Nick. “What?”

“He did?” Now, that was a whole new level. That meant Aaron had almost made a move. Where had he been?

Jeff laughed. “Well, he was pretty persuasive.” His brown eyes then lighted with a totally different idea before his black-haired friend could unconsciously freak out more. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”

Nick blinked before nodding and he let himself be guided to a quieter corner in the room. Jeff still missed his blazer and the brunet caught himself analysing his shirt buttons, then the shirt as a whole, then his loose tie and he stopped when his eyes started to wonder on the other’s neck. _Did I just check him out? Well, I guess that’s normal,_ he bit his lips as he finally looked into his eyes.

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow?” Jeff inhaled, playing idly with his fingers. Maybe he was a little nervous.

Nick grinned. “Do you have anything in mind?” Where did all that confidence come from? Always random and unnecessary. But this sounded better than another Saturday of reading and dealing with homework and Cade could wait until Sunday to discuss his birthday party plans with him. This also meant that Jeff would be safe from any dangerous...advances.

“I can pull something off,” Jeff barely contained a giggle when the other raised a mock suspicious eyebrow. The crowd silenced a little when Aaron returned to the room, gloomy faced and shutting the door harder than he intended. “We’ll talk, okay?” he felt his hand shiver with the need to touch Nick’s shoulder, but he managed to keep it in place until he turned and approached his duet partner again.

o0o0o

Coffee meant business. In fact, it was treated as if it was created for that sole reason when they had a private meeting. So when David entered the room, joggling with four deep cups of coffee on a small tray, everybody knew better than to deal with them.

Wes was concentrated, tapping his pen over a blank page in his notebook, while Thad was devouring the approaching mugs with his eyes. The fourth one was for whichever of them was going to have a fit first. Half-dismissing the rest of the choir, David sat himself down at the council’s desk and offered them the soon-to-be-well-deserved beverages.

“So...” Wes started, frowning at his pen, then around the slowly emptying room. “So.”

“This is going to be hard,” Thad stated unnecessarily, receiving his mug and taking a long gulp.

David sighed, leaning back in his comfortable chair. “I feel like we’re in _Twelve Angry Men_...without all the men and the crime thing.”

“Can I join you?” Trent appeared with his own cup (he won their respect with that) and dragged a chair near them after they nodded. “Need I tell you that you won’t decide anything tonight?” He raised an eyebrow at their pitiful faces, giving them a half-hearted smile.

“What makes you think-...” Wes started to say before locking eyes with him and sighing his way back in his seat. “...yeah, we won’t.”

“It’s insane. I thought it was going to be a lot easier,” Thad gesticulated furiously until his roommate pushed the coffee back to him, calming him down.

David shuffled some papers and found one with all the performed songs. He glared at them before slamming his forehead hopelessly. “Does anyone care to explain to me just what on Earth was Nick’s performance?”

The other three groaned loudly, receiving a few weird stares from the ones who were still present in the room. “We could’ve won Nationals with him last year! Why have we only heard him now?”

“We didn’t really try to hear any new voices for the past two years, right? First was Blaine, who’s now transferred God-knows-where and then we got the prima donna,” Wes twisted his pen in the air, downing half of his coffee in one shot.

“We should give him a duet, though,” David started and winced at the two sour looks. Trent was just silently watching. “I mean...you know that he will only work if it’s done as he wants. He doesn’t want a solo and we have a lot of people who deserve one. Now...duet with whom?”

“Not Jeff.”

“Thad.”

“What?”

Three people spoke up almost at the same time, each with a different expression of his face. Trent shrugged at his first statement, drinking his coffee, Wes looked as That who, in turn, stared at him as if he had been suddenly struck by lightning.

The remaining one drew in a breath, preparing his questions. In order. “Why not?” He eyed Trent, who licked his coffee-flavoured lips.

“I’d give Jeff a solo.” Simple as that, he didn’t continue and nobody complained.

“Wes?” the questioning went on and the approached senior put down his pen and faced him.

He looked pretty serious. “It’s my opinion.”

“Yeah, but–” Thad tried to intervene, but was cut off by one of them.

“Wes’ opinion,” they stated.

He crossed his arms and pouted. “I don’t want all that ego to fall on me,” but he was already won over by the decision. It wasn’t like he ever had a choice, really.

o0o0o

Saturday morning caught him between unprepared and overachieving. He didn’t like it. His hair was sticking in all the impossible directions it knew and his roommate was not out for the weekend. Where were his emergency outfits?!

“So you were saying it is not a date...?” Lewis smirked as he looked at his back while he was carefully arranging and rearranging clothes on his bed. Anything that looked good enough.

Nick glared. “Of course it’s not. But that’s no reason not to look... _decent_ ,” he frowned at an unacceptably wrinkled shirt. _No, better go for a T-shirt, Nick_ , he turned towards his wardrobe. _Don’t look stiff._

His friend took a seat on his own bed. “So the clothes stealing didn’t help you at all?” At the other’s dark look, he just shrugged, smiling lightly.

“No. I’d appreciate it if you stopped doing that, though,” Nick mumbled, finally getting a whole outfit in his arms. He was supposed to go in fifteen minutes, if his watch was right. More than enough time.

Lewis scoffed before motioning tiredly at him. “Come on, you look good, I don’t get why you’re so self-conscious all the time.”

Was he? Well, he got nervous sometimes, when he had to undress along with others, but he thought that everybody was like that. _How could they not be? Right...?_ Well, Lewis was different. He could have fitted even in a nude village, but he was a particular case.

 _I’m not self-conscious_ , he stated, definitively. He just knew he wasn’t that attractive. _Isn’t that the same thing?_ A voice echoed in his head and he shut the bathroom door harder than he should have. Well, if he was to think it thoroughly, he wasn’t supposed to feel good in his own skin at his age, right? Taking his shirt off, he analysed the upper part of his body in the mirror. _Average._

 _Okay, I’m done_ , he tore his eyes off his own image quickly, dressing in his chosen day clothes now. It wasn’t like anyone was going to need to see him naked anytime soon. A wave of hormones hit his stomach hard at that and he shook his head. _I should remember something..._

“Shit!” he burst out the door, his hair still a mess, his face white with horror and he started biting his nails on his way to the bed, where he just flipped face-down in the pillows.

A medium pause of examination. “Dude...you okay?” his colleague asked, looking at him over his magazine. He got a spiritless mumble back. “Yeah, right.” He had no idea.

Nick closed his eyes hard into the sheets, his body tensing and relaxing randomly as he tried hard to remember what exactly made his early morning so dreadful. He remembered hands over his back and chest and a hot, presumably unknown feeling at the base of his neck and then over his lips. He could almost feel fingers running through his hair as he was being pulled closer. He let out a hopeless groan.

 _Give yourself a pat on the back, Nick, you’re going to have sex in college_ , his mind almost mocked him as he got up again, thanking his jeans for not getting any tighter and his body for behaving appropriately. “I...I should go.”

“’Kay. I slipped a condom in your bag last night. Keep safe.”

With another sour look, the brunet left the room, stumbling his way to the parking lot. He didn’t remember ever seeing Jeff driving a car.


	9. Songs, calls, pets and a lightning bolt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who would even try saying something about a non-date? Some days just exist in order to make Jeff's life harder. Poor dear.

_I should have brought my bike_ , Jeff played with his room’s keys as he looked with an ever so small hint of nervousness around Dalton’s car park. Okay, maybe he was a little more than that. He hated that anxiety and, after an evening and a morning of expressing it, even Miles did. His roommate had flown from school as fast as he could when his big brother arrived to get him. This ended in Jeff being left alone with his trembling nerves for a couple more hours.

 _I haven’t even decided where we ought to go...,_ he whined internally. He had made the proposal more or less on a whim, confident that finding an activity for the day would be easy afterwards. He faced a surprise, however, and he had to search for things until his neurotic side took over. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Nick approaching and he stopped his internal struggling. _Strange_ , he suddenly felt a whole lot more relaxed.

“Hello,” the other smiled cheerfully and Jeff almost gasped at the warm sensation that invaded his chest. _Breathe, Jeff..._

“Hey,” he grinned, hiding his hands in his pockets and shifting his weight from one leg to the other. He thought he saw a different look in Nick’s eyes for a second, but it was shortly gone. Fruitcake.

His friend nudged him lightly. “Are you driving?”

“Ah, no,” he laughed at the nearly impossible assumption. “No. I could, but it wouldn’t be exactly safe.” Nobody should have doubted that. He was a disaster on the road; he didn’t even have his car at school.

The wind got stronger and his fringe tangled around his glasses, blocking his view for a while. When he managed to look up again, Nick was helplessly letting his black hair be ruffled around, keeping his eyes shut.

After a second’s thought, Jeff reached out his hands behind his friend’s neck, grabbing the hood of his jacket and putting it over his head. Nick opened one eye and gave him a thankful smile before both of them took shelter in a SUV’s shadow.

“So, how are we leaving?” the brunet arranged his bangs once the wind wasn’t hitting him anymore. “...and where?” he added after a moment.

Jeff shrugged, biting his lip and looking around. He had probably done more research the night before on public places at a close distance than he had for any of his school projects. Nothing seemed interesting or close enough, but he had one or two small ideas. _Think. You are the one who invited him._

That was true, but it wasn’t really the activity what he was looking up to. Things had been getting more and more hectic at school and it seemed that every time he thought they were able to spend a little quiet time together (he could listen to Nick talking for _hours_ , if he had the chance) something had to come up. He didn’t remember it being like that before. _Well, not like I had something better to do before._

“Do you want me to drive?” Nick blinked and won a grateful smile. “Okay then,” he took out his car keys, thankful that he always kept them around, even if he wasn’t usually using his car.

Nick had a jet black Navigator – a trifle from his father’s part – which, in his opinion, was too big and too expensive to drive to school and home during holidays. Somehow, however, it had always escaped Jeff’s eye. Settling in, the blond looked around the clean interior, smelling the cold air. He glanced left; he hadn’t imagined Nick driving until then. His friend looked different and Jeff rested his eyes on his arms, covered in the leather jacket.

His heart randomly skipped a beat as Nick drummed his fingers on the wheel. “Tell me where?” the driver looked at him out the corner of his eye while waiting for the car to warm up.

Jeff blinked as his glasses steamed over and took them off, staring ahead at nothing in particular. “Have you been to Columbus lately?” Nick shook his head, going out of the parking lot. “Then I’ve got to show you something,” Jeff stated, grinning and fastening his seatbelt.

o0o0o

“Geez, Milo, you’re so pale,” the older person in front exclaimed, looking at the other in the rear-view mirror before making a U-turn.

The one in the backseat grumbled, arms crossed over his chest. “Don’t call me that, Ryan.”

“Grumpy?” his brother laughed.

Miles sighed. “Tired. Jeff kept me up to look with him for local attractions.” He added a murmured ‘as if we have them...”

“Hmm...date?” the ginger in front grinned. “You should get one too. Can I help? Please, say yes!”

 _Oh, if you’re going to be like this...,_ Miles started fishing in his backpack for the comic book he was currently reading. He knew better than to give his brother too much of his attention. When it came to topics like this, his sibling’s 5 years ahead were going backwards and made _him_ feel like the adult.

Finding it, he started sighing, faking ignorance. “From his babbles, I guess it isn’t,” one question done. “I don’t want one and you can’t help. I’d feel sorry for the girl.”

“Scared she’ll fall for me first?” Ryan grinned as the road cleared outside of town and kept doing so even after seeing the unimpressed look on his face. “So, no breakfast, I guess? Check my bag, I made something for you.”

“You?” Miles asked, disbelieving as he got a plastic bag out and started poking at it. “I’m not sure about it then...” Yes, his brother always made the best sandwiches, but he doubted he remembered that he turned vegetarian 11 months ago. Nevertheless, he took one out.

The driver entered the Interstate towards Minneapolis, putting his sunglasses on for the late morning light. “I was in no hurry, so I figured...why not make you something? Beats the ones in stores.”

Salad, cheese, tomatoes. _Wow, he remembered._ “Thanks,” the boy voiced out before digging into the sandwich.

“You’re going to need it. I plan on getting home until morning,” the brother grinned, pushing his car a little faster on the road. Miles could only roll his eyes, opening his comics single-handedly again.

o0o0o

Back on the school grounds, everything was weekendly quiet. Even though it was almost noon, Lewis had chosen the laziest way he knew to start the day and, after Nick was gone, he flopped back on his bed and dozed off for quite some time. That went well, however, only until his phone started buzzing under his pillow and he cursed the unearthly ringtone he had previously chosen.

Not even opening his eyes, he put it against his ear. “...yeah?”

The one on the other side had talked for quite some time when he realised that he hadn’t listened to any of it. He was slowly falling asleep again, despite being able to hear his name being chanted in a pretty voice.

The same voice that afterwards got serious. “You know, I still have that video of you dancing to Michael Jackson. Naked.” He was up immediately.

“Emily?” He blinked hard at all the light in the room.

She chuckled. “Well, thanks goodness. Sleeping beauty is awake at last.” He heard a muffled sound coming from the other end and he dragged a hand from his messed up hair to his face.

“How are you?”  The floor was cold against his bare feet as he marched towards the bathroom to get a glass of water.

The girl hummed a little. “Fine, getting ready for practice. You know she wants me to go to yet another one of these freaky contests? I’d kill her with a spoon if my mother hadn’t paid her.” She was in a good mood, he observed. She couldn’t even manage to sound angry.

“You’re the one who said your life was too easy...,” he yawned, raising the glass to his lips.

She snickered. “You’re the one who agreed.”

After two long, needed gulps, he smirked. “Beat the shit out of that piano.”

“As always,” he heard her grin before hanging up.

One call done.

“Now what to do here...,” he turned towards the rest of the room, one hand on his hip and finishing his water.

Nick’s desk was yet again covered in papers and he shuffled impassively through them, grimacing when he realised they were only school related. Why couldn’t his roommate have been a little more interesting? He had to do something about that innocence, despite the usual jokes that seemed to go unnoticed nowadays.

 _Now, this is new...,_ he glanced at the iPod underneath a Literature homework and raised an eyebrow. For once, it wasn’t his and, above all, Nick didn’t just simply leave his music player in his room. This had potential to be investigation matter.

However... “Food first,” he yawned, pulling his trousers just a little higher on his hips and dragging himself out of the room.

o0o0o

It had been a while since he had last used his car. Thankfully, not long enough for him to find it unpleasant now. After a rather quick drive to the city (they had luckily avoided rush hour), they were now entering the car park of the relatively popular shopping complex. He had yet to find out what was going on inside.

Beside him, as they got out and approached the entrance, Jeff was beaming, almost jumping from one foot to the other. He had never considered himself anti-social. He had a few friends at school and he got along well with most of the students, but things like these made him question that. He couldn’t remember when he had last gone out spontaneously with someone other than Cade. Well, if he was to consider his best friend’s demands as being ‘spontaneous’.

Anyhow, this day he felt quite happy. Despite the morning madness. Despite the weather that seemed to just get worse and worse. Despite the dream he had the night before. He winced, hoping that nobody had seen his face. _Damn, I need to stop making these on public._

Jeff was sort of silent, merrily humming a song as they kept passing by shop windows and Saturday clients and visitors. He had previously announced Nick that, in order not to spill the secret, he was going to shut up for a bit. And the brunet thought he shouldn’t have found that as cute as he actually did. _I hope you realise how dangerous this is_ , the grumpy voice in his head sighed, but he wasn’t going to give in to that, as his only plan for the day was to have a good time. _Keep not pushing this idea away and soon enough-..._

Jeff turned as they reached the escalator and motioned to the kids’ area that was soon to be at their right. _...-you’re going to be **too** attracted to him._ Nick swallowed thickly, but managed to pull off a grin before following the blond’s lead across the wide halls.

That couldn’t be. _You’re in no position to think about him that way_ , the sound of reason echoed through his brain. Thank God, he wasn’t...really. He took a deep breath before entering the most crowded part of the inside playground that contained so many micro-people. _Just hormones_ , he suspected feeling a small stab at his poor soul. _Don’t be desperate._

A bright yellow plastic slide blocked his view out of nowhere and he was quite lost for a couple of seconds until he saw Jeff waiting for him outside the children madness. Getting ready to shut his mind off, he allowed himself to hold onto the other’s sleeve as they started moving again, towards a more desolate place.

As they quickly turned a corner, he thought he felt Jeff’s fingers twist to grab his own, but he didn’t have enough faith in his senses to let go of the soft fabric. The blond stopped in a darker part of the corridor, near an empty toys’ store, with a multi-coloured light above their heads.

“Here?” Nick raised his eyes to the ceiling, letting go of Jeff’s sleeve, their fingertips touching idly as he let his hand fall. Somehow. He felt the sudden urge to bite the tip of his tongue to keep himself from holding needlessly onto the other’s hand. It wasn’t anything emotional this time, it was just the fact that that skin felt, for that particle of a second, _so_ warm.

 _Let it pass_ , he ordered himself when he felt a small knot form in his stomach. This was more tiring than a 3-hour rush through his history papers and that was saying something. Jeff’s eyes wondered anywhere else but at him, until he finally talked. “Yeah. Here.”

“What are we looking for?” Nick smiled, smartly shoving his hands in his pockets and looking around them too.

His friend examined his face for a moment. “I hope you’re not going to laugh,” he walked over to the second playground currently being assembled. “Here,” he repeated, turning towards him and waiting for a reaction. When none came from the other, he sighed softly and pressed a long white tile in the floor with his foot. It made a musical sound.

Nick’s eyes lighted with recognition. “Oh.”

“Yep,” the blond’s smile grew as he pressed a smaller, black tile. Another note and then he stopped. “Is this too silly?” His voice wavered just a little.

The brunet was slightly bent over the almost invisible floor piano and he almost forgot to answer, much to Jeff’s dismay. “What? No, this is really _cool_ ,” he stopped and cast him a knowing look. “I get why you liked it.”

“Really, now,” Jeff grinned and came closer, pressing one tile at the end. “Try it?”

Nick nodded. He hadn’t really, _ever_ , tried a normal piano, so he had close to no idea what black and white meant, but this was for children, how hard could it be? Taking a step forward, the floor vibrated with a medium note. He ran across all of them, causing a fit of giggles from Jeff. He liked that.

“Okay,” the blond regained his voice, stepping closer to the ‘instrument’. “Last time I came here, I could actually play something.” Counting the tiles twice, he went to the other end and started pressing only on certain parts of the floor, creating something that almost sounded like a song. “Yeah, that’s about it,” he grinned clumsily at him. “Mom will kill me, I haven’t practiced in two months.”

Nick raised an eyebrow, smiling uncertainly. “At this?” he pointed at the floor and got another snickering laugh.

“No, at the real thing,” he gestured with his fingers tapping at an invisible keyboard in the air. “They have one in school and she trusted me that I would exercise on that one, but...,” he shrugged, eyebrows knotted over a guilty smile.

At this, he didn’t really know what to do next. He looked at the shop window and stared at a weird clown, hoping that it would start talking to him, but, naturally, it didn’t. “She won’t know,” he winked unconsciously at the blond and stepped again on the piano. “You think this can handle a duet?”

Jeff laughed. “We can try.”

o0o0o

He had been accused a few times of taking too many showers a day, but he never really understood if it was more about his roommate’s denied sexual frustration or if it was actually true. It was one of his loveliest guilty pleasures, who could have blamed him? However, the one right now he really needed, as he had just come back from a long morning jogging around the campus.

“Are you done?” a voice echoed in the bathroom, muffled by the flowing water. He ignored it, smiling to himself and moving his hands even slower through his hair. “Are you done now?” the voice drew closer.

“Coming, coming,” he laughed, shifting in the shower for the other to see his moving form behind the matted glass.

“Oh, God,” was the only reply and he was left in peace to finish his routine. It didn’t take him long, anyway. “Couldn’t you have moved slower?” a pair of black eyes glowered at him when he was drying himself off with a grey towel. “Give me?”

Lewis turned, pulling a blue T-shirt over his head and looking for his trousers. The other finally sat down on the unused bed, scanning the room in a bored way that characterised a man who had come to terms with the fact that he was going to wait a while longer. He played with his headphones as the dark-haired teen in the room dried roughly his hair.

The guest was prepared to go, Lewis observed his full-black outfit, combat boots and crisp leather jacket, with a pair of shades over his spiky blond hair. His motorcycle was probably waiting outside, which made him remember the request.

“My cousin says sorry, he couldn’t send them last week,” he pulled his luggage from under the bed and got out a small black bag. “Nice and shiny,” he grinned when his friend looked at the contents.

The other widened his eyes visibly. “Wow. That’s...generous,” he tucked it in his jacket’s pocket, smiling thankfully afterwards. “Do you want to see her before I apply the final touches?” he patted his full pocket.

“Nah, I’ll see her after she’s done or I won’t be able to restrain myself,” he looked at the window, then back at his friend. “Make my ride pretty.”

The blond smirked. “Don’t worry, I will,” he went out of the room, leaving a pretty flustered Lewis behind. He hadn’t seen his bike in a while and he missed _her_ senselessly. But it was no good mourning over her while she was in another town, so he shook his head.

“Now, where were we...” he examined the room from the doorway, hands on his hips.

 _I should make him a pamphlet, maybe that will match his language_ , he pondered, circling Nick’s bed on three sides, turning when he faced the wall. _‘3 ways to improve your love life’_. A frown. _Make that five, he’s picky._

There was, as he had already observed, a lot of unused paper lying around, so he got up, prepared to make a sketch of his plan. Unfortunately, his movements went only as far as getting to his feet. Then, he saw the wardrobe. _I wonder if dad looked at my bank account lately._

o0o0o

 _You could have had freckles_ , Jeff’s gaze trailed down Nick’s face in a moment of silent relaxation before going back up to his eyes which were now looking at him. Big, warm and with _so many colours_ inside. The blond didn’t blink, unconsciously staring, but as his actions were imitated, it took him a little longer to realise what he was doing.

 _Aren’t we too close?_ The idea came like a rush of cold water to his brain and he suddenly started pulling back from where they were leaning on each other. On the floor, yeah, but it was a playground so it must have been okay. His face was warmed both by his blood and by their lost-close proximity and he felt his mouth suddenly slightly dry.

“Hungry?” Nick smiled up at him from where he was resting his head on an unused indoor swing’s legs.

Jeff let out a pleased sigh. He had never seen Nick this relaxed at school. “You bet,” rearranging his glasses, he got up from where they were previously leaning on each other’s shoulder. A moment later, he hit a blank spot in his memory. “What do you like to eat?” he asked lightly, offering him a helping hand.

Nick seemed to think for a moment. “Nothing too unhealthy, I guess,” he hesitated, not wanting to sound _too_ finicky.

Jeff hummed, looking around. “Do you think we can find anything good in here?” his friend smiled, shaking his head slowly. “We can go find another place in the city,” Jeff said, already projecting a small map in his head. This, he was good at.

The brunet seemed reluctant. “Are we done here?” he didn’t want to disrupt their plans either. He could wait until they got back or – help him, God – try a fast-food, no matter how bad his experience had been there.

Jeff tittered, awkwardly looking at the floor. “Well, yeah...this was it,” he gestured at the now-overused floor piano. “Sorry, I don’t go out that much,” he finally mumbled, unawarely pouting at the end.

The next thing he heard was Nick chuckling and patting his jacket reassuringly. “I really _am_ having fun, Jeff,” he looked straight into his eyes as he said his name, making a point. “Let’s go?” he added when the blond still didn’t look convinced.

Somehow (they still wondered how) they had managed to go back through the overwhelming crowd – when had it become like that, they had no idea – and step out in the early afternoon sun. For a Saturday, the boulevard was reasonably clear – not like they were going to _drive_ while looking for a place to eat.

“I say there,” they spoke at the same time, glancing in opposite directions. They stood a little, looking at each other afterwards, before bursting into a fit of laughter.

“There?” Nick stopped his giggles for a short while, pointing at a green board on a building, a hundred feet away.

“Let’s try,” Jeff grinned.

o0o0o

Lively blue eyes peeked in the aquarium and then at the cage beside it. They were the oversized versions of the ones normal people had. The boy rolled his eyes as a sharp cry from the bird signalled him to give her his full attention.

“Aoide missed you, Miles,” a tall woman entered the large room carrying a plate of chopped meat that made the pet flutter its large wings.

Miles looked with seemingly bored eyes from his mother, whose strawberry-blond hair was half-braided along her back, almost reaching her thighs, to the Aquila in the cage. Seriously, who else did they know in the whole Minneapolis to have an _Aquila_?

He liked the bird, though, even if she had scared the daylights out of him when she arrived. Letting his mother admire the feathery beauty, he took a few chunks of raw meat in his hands and started feeding it.

“Isn’t she gorgeous?” the woman fearlessly caressed the bird’s head while it was almost gracefully enjoying the treat. “How are you, Miles?” she then smiled with warm brown eyes at him, a tint of freckles visible on her never made-up face.

The boy shrugged. “Fine, I guess. Is dad here?” He retracted his hand, staring at the bird for some time afterwards.

He had only arrived a few hours before and managed to take a short nap, so he hadn’t had time to see anyone in the big, wooden house. As his visits home during the semester were pretty scarce, he guessed he was going to miss school on Monday, but it wasn’t something he was going to get in trouble for.

The middle-aged woman smiled serenely at the hand-painted walls. “Yeah, he’s here,” and after a second thought “But he’s in his daily meditation sessions. You know how he gets there.”

Not wanting to remember the last time he had walked in on his dad, naked, surrounded by candles and Indian fabrics, he just nodded. He wondered how he and Ryan managed to turn out more or less normal. Really, it was something neither of them had expected.

“Say hello to Hippolytos, he’s our newest clownfish,” she said before turning on the wood and mosaic floor and walked barefoot to the other door. “Come to the kitchen when you’re ready, I’m making pumpkin cookies,” and she started humming a happy, undoubtedly unknown to the world song.

Miles looked blankly at the aquarium, immediately catching the sight of the new fish. Although he didn’t like to admit it, he had already memorised the other twenty, names included. “...hey, Hippolytos,” he even waved, offering the pet a small smile. Then, the smell of a fresh batch of cookies reached his nose and he fled towards the source, almost hitting his head on an enormous dream-catcher.

o0o0o

He had kept an averagely good straight face for the past quarter of an hour, but he couldn’t help feeling the corners of his mouth twitching now. “Don’t look at me like that, Jeff,” he managed to say, with the slightest hint of a suppressed laugh, as he eyed the other above his salad leaf.

The blond coughed and ducked his head immediately, suddenly very interested in a bit of cheese on his plate, but soon enough his eyes were up again. “I wasn’t staring,” he motioned with his fork at the other’s salad. “But I never considered that as food.”

After raising his eyebrow slightly at him, Nick chuckled and returned to his food. “I grew up on this. Mom’s a doctor, she wanted us to eat extra-healthy,” and just to prove his point, took a big bite of salad in his mouth.

“Us?” Jeff asked, reaching for his orange juice. Who could’ve known there were other places to eat in America beside fast-foods? And so close too; Jeff, for one, had no idea.

His friend nodded, crossing his feet underneath his chair. The place was a little too white for his taste, but the green plants and ornaments were making it look less like a hospital, so he was more or less relaxed. “Me and dad.” He paused, let a few wagons of his train of thoughts pass without voicing them and looked at him again. “How’s your sister?” Maybe that sounded a little too formal.

Jeff, however, only shrugged, eyeing his own salad suspiciously before tasting it. He munched three times, Nick watching him closely, as if waiting to see if his body was incompatible with the substance and he was going to burst, but then he swallowed and smiled. “Not bad. Bettie’s fine, great actually! I talked with her yesterday,” he grinned as he remembered her enthusiasm at the promise of a puppy in the near future. Okay, so maybe they both almost screamed (in excitement) over the phone at each other, but who could blame them, even so?

“That’s cute,” Nick whispered louder than he intended (not like he intended to say that aloud at all, but still). “Um...yeah,” he averted his eyes, looking outside the window at the street and occupying his mouth with chopped vegetables. _Bad mouth_.

For once, though, Jeff was not overthinking. Bless you, mind. “You should come visit sometime,” he smiled brightly, feeling overexcited just at that thought.

“I’d love to,” Nick swallowed on his own awkwardness again, feeling his heart float serenely in his chest.

This was _ridiculous_. No one had wanted to spend this much time with him since Cade and even him he could not understand. And Jeff looked sincere, like he wasn’t looking for anything else – not like Nick could have given him anything, all their parents were snobs, after all – beside being there, talking, staying close to each other.

From time to time, he thought he could almost feel the yearning in the other’s voice, but Nick was still too insecure to allow himself to think that. Even now, when the idea crossed his mind, he felt overwhelmed, because this person in front of him wanted to _know_ him, to spend more than courtesy time with him and he knew that what he said mattered. Nick didn’t know how some people could manage being popular. Even these little things felt like too much for him.

Tearing his eyes reluctantly from Nick’s slightly hazy eyes, Jeff put his fork down and arranged the small plastic platters in front of him. Looking up again, the other’s mist seemed to have lifted a little and he felt the sudden need to _touch_. He didn’t know where that had come from, but he barely kept his idle body from leaning forwards over the table with no idea of what he actually wanted to do after that. Straightening in his chair, he felt his heart pound absurdly fast in his chest and his breath was hitching a little.

“I’m done,” he announced, his voice breaking at the end, making him cough, but the sound getting Nick back to reality.

The brunet blinked, inhaling deeply. “Me too.” He sent Jeff a greenish gaze that almost turned golden in the newly-appeared afternoon sun. “Shall we go?”

“Y-yeah,” the blond gasped, point-black staring at his eyes, his last breath caught in his throat. “Dalton?” he asked once they were outside and _wow, where have all these cars been until now?_

Nick seemed to think the same thing. “Yeah, the queue to the highway will only get longer from now on.”

 _I think I may have switched on the wrong button_ , Jeff bit his lip when his eyes stubbornly refused to look away from his friend. _Yeah, definitely_. Nick’s face didn’t look so nice a few minutes ago. Or did it? He whimpered hopelessly, getting a concerned look from the one in cause, but got away with it. _This might be bad._

o0o0o

And bad it proved to be, once he was safe in his empty room at the Academy. _No. No, Jeff, you have hallucinations. Of feelings! Yeah, that must be it, Jeff. Feelings hallucination. I mean, who knows? Nobody tested you for that. Maybe you’re the only one in the world!_

He paced the room a dozen times, throwing cold water at his face from time to time and running his hands restlessly through his abused hair. This wasn’t good already and he hadn’t even stated his problem yet. All his inner voices had started screaming and rambling the moment he wanted to voice it out, as if the damage had already been done.

 _And who said it hadn’t?_ Jeff collapsed on the side on his bed, keeping his face in his hands. _Okay, breathe, Jeff. Usually, it’s not as bad as it seems at first_. Right, he had to calm down. He took a few deep breaths before a thought came to mind and he placed himself in front of the mirror. He looked sternly at himself.

Deep breath. “I’m...” but he couldn’t do it. Running back and flopping on his bed, he groaned into the sheets, almost biting them. “I’m...” he whined, his voice muffled by the fabric while his fingers found his hair again. For a moment, he wondered if calling Miles would help, but no, he needed to do this alone, with himself, first.

_Think, think, think._

He rewatched the last few weeks in his mind, the most relevant part of them and almost every image was laughing at him and at his obliviousness. _What obliviousness?_ He laughed sadly, turning on his back and covering his eyes with his right forearm. He could already feel tears form hopelessly in them. He wished he could be as oblivious to his own feeling as he was to everything else.

If he was, this wouldn’t be happening. “I’m in l-...,” he stopped as the first tear managed to escape his sleeve and roll down his embarrassingly flushed cheek. _Just when everything seemed to go so well, too_ , some devil whispered in his mind.

 _Say it_ , others cheered, apparently delighted with his sorrow. Now, at night, with only the bathroom light flooding the room and only his breath as the muffled sounds of other dormitory residents to disturb his awful moments, he hated them the most. As if he needed to say it in order to know it was true.

 _So why hold back? Say it_ , the sly voice continued. Oh, damn, he had watched too many movies, read too many books, played too many games. “I’m in love with Nick,” he finally breathed before biting his lip hard as more tears damped his sleeve and eyes and cheeks. _Great, now what am I going to do?_


	10. Round the teapot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick, please stop sporadically watching awesome British shows...

Monday. Sunny Monday. He had left his room early, since there was no one to keep him company. He should have expected it; Miles’ home was quite far away. And it was Monday, which meant Sunday had passed, which meant he had _won_. He had survived.

Jeff couldn’t remember the last time he had freaked out so much. If Saturday night had been bad – nightmarish bad –, Sunday morning was slightly better. At least his stomach didn’t tie itself in knots every time he murmured Nick’s name. He had tried calming down: such a radical change couldn’t take place in less than a day, right? He was, as he had already suspected, hallucinating.

So now was Monday and – oh, God – Nick was right in front of him, evidently waiting for him. Okay, his plan to avoid him the day before had been a success, but only thanks to his friend’s busy program. Birthday plans, things that sounded important. But now... _wow_.

 _I never expected that admitting my feelings would make him look this much..._ , the word caught in his throat as he stopped in front of him. They were probably both going to breakfast. His brown eyes flickered over his friend’s body, taking in the drastically different aspect it had that morning. Was it just the missing blazer? Was that a new shirt? And _what was the matter_ with those jeans, anyway? He had no choice but to swallow hard as he raised his gaze, finally letting the word pass between two dazed thoughts. _...hotter_. Oh, that didn’t go well with his empty stomach.

Nick didn’t even say a word of his own – not like Jeff needed any more triggers so early in the morning – and he just returned to walking to the cafeteria once Jeff caught up. _Oh, my God_ , the blond almost tripped over his feet as they passed the large windows on the ground floor. _What if he knows already? Oh, God, he must. But how can he know? Jeff, Jeff, have you told anyone? No! What if there’s a mind reader in the school?_

“So...um...,” the air refused to get into his lungs. “How did yesterday go?”

Nick seemed to be quite shaken to reality by his voice and, for a moment, he looked at him with confused hazel eyes. Jeff bit his lip. Nick’s random daydreaming periods always came as a bonus in his daily life. A good one. One of his favourites, even.

The brunet sighed. “This...happened,” he gestured at his clothes and Jeff cursed his teenage body for not being able to say no to some more staring.

Out of common sense, though, he raised an eyebrow. Nick rolled his eyes; he didn’t usually do that. Jeff felt proud of his suddenly observant spirit.

“Lewis,” the boy groaned, “thought it would be only kind of him to take liberties with my wardrobe, so...,” he gestured to his outfit again. “He changed all of it. Nothing too drastic, thank God. At least I don’t see the big difference.”

 _You have no idea..._ , Jeff caught himself thinking before making himself busy with arranging his glasses. Well, at least I am not yet hopeless, I wasn’t seeing things.

“It-” he tried to find his voice again, hiding his hopefully inexistent blush behind his black frames. “...it looks _really_ good on you.” Ah, damn that unwanted emphasizing.

Seeing that Nick was gazing straight into his eyes, he nodded and his mind cheered when his friend’s face lighted generously. _Does he-...Maybe I need to tell him that more often._

“There he is!” David exclaimed from the doorway of the dining hall and Thad appeared behind him.

“Nick, we gotta talk to you,” Thad grabbed one of his arms. “Looking sharp too. Exactly what we need, right?” he winked at David, who grabbed the boy’s other arm.

“Right. We’ll bring him back later!” David added towards Jeff and all three of them turned a corner and closed themselves in an empty study room. “Nice shirt,” he grinned and Nick crossed his arms over his chest self-consciously. He looked from one kidnapper to the other and waited. “So! Here we are, Nicky...” Nick habitually narrowed his eyes at him, “...to announce you that...” _useless suspense_.

“You have a solo!” Thad erupted, throwing his hands energetically in the air.

Nick felt his mouth fall open and he hastily closed it again. “Wait, are you serious?”

“Positive, Nicky,” David winked again. “Now listen closely,” he leaned over an armchair and gestured for them to come near him.

o0o0o

This day, the cafeteria’s radio was, surprisingly, working. He doubted anyone had observed that. It’s so crowded, Jeff thought, standing on his feet and eating from a bowl of cereals.

“Am I doing this right?” Wes asked while playing on the borrowed DS and the blond looked over his shoulder to see.

“Yeah, you’re good,” Jeff answered, taking another mouthful of Cheerios. David, Thad and Nick were still missing and it was getting close to a quarter of an hour absence.

Unlike the rest of the dining hall, there were a couple empty chairs at their table (well, conjoined tables), but he didn’t feel like sitting yet. The day spent indoors in frozen agony gave his body time to become overloaded with energy.

“OK, so lookee here,” Cade seated himself beside Trent, facing Wes, but looking at everyone at the table. “First, you’re all invited.” The boys got interested. “Second, I need your help.”

“Obviously,” another Warbler near them laughed.

Wes smiled, still playing fervently. “Shut up, Mark. We’re good guys, we’ll help,” he looked at Cade, who bowed low over his toast.

“I have the place, the day, the hour,” the brown-haired boy continued, but now not as confidently, “...I just need the plan.” A loud ‘oh’ from the others.

“What’s the theme?” Jeff asked, making them raise their heads. _Have I really not talked to you until now or...?_ he raised an eyebrow at the group. “Nick said you had one.”

“Hmm, that’s impressive,” Wes hummed at Cade, returning Jeff’s Nintendo.

“Tea party,” the other murmured. “The plan’s for a tea party.”

“I think I can...,” Jeff talked behind his spoon until Wes gestured for him to put it down. “I can help, if you want. I know someone...well, my mom does.”

The planner’s eyes were uncomfortably drinking in his every word. It made him shut up. “Can you _really_ talk to someone? I thought about it, but, see, I don’t know anyone and dad’s jokes wouldn’t let me live if I asked my parents.”

Jeff smiled. “It’s sort of a family friend I haven’t met yet. I’ll ask mom. When do you need it?” Personal best and still going. He was on a talking roll this day.

Taking his time with retying his tie, the boy finally spoke up. “Wednesday. Actually, Wednesday night. I booked her for that night.”

“Busy girl,” Trent grinned along with the others.

“Basketball tournament practice,” Cade responded proudly, gaining a few appreciative whistles. “Where have you been?” he glanced behind Jeff, who also turned.

“Oh, that’s our little secret, isn’t it, Nick?” David stopped him before any sound came out of his mouth and took a seat at the table.

“Better hurry up, breakfast’s almost over,” Wes told them, raising from his seat and retrieving his school bag. “Jeff, didn’t you have to set the laboratory before science today?”

Brown eyes widened behind slightly thick glasses. “Shit!” the blond exclaimed, clasping the only half-finished bowl tighter in his hands after having almost dropped it. “Here. I’m gone,” he passed said bowl over to the still-standing Nick and fled the room within seconds.

“Anything important?” Cade glanced at his best friend but was ignored as the other seemed to ponder the age of the Universe over Jeff’s cereals. “Nick?”

“What?” his greenish eyes jolted upwards and soon after that he seated himself in a chair too. Well, it _was_ late, he thought as he took the first spoonful in his mouth.

“Wednesday, be ready,” his friend sighed and jumped to the more important fact of the day.

“I’ll try,” Nick smiled before continuing his almost-shared breakfast.

o0o0o

Two days into the week and he already felt suicidal. Almost. Not really. Not at all. He just felt like someone had set all Hell loose in his head. Okay, not that bad either. _Can’t a man be poetic without making it sound like he’s dying?_

“That was, no matter what you’ll say, inhuman,” Nick huffed once they were out of the French classroom. Their colleagues weren’t looking any better either.

“Polly-voo-franzy?” Jeff grinned at him and was delighted with the irritated look on his friend’s face. “Sorry, I tried to keep her off you guys, but she was too focused on the torture.”

Well, yeah, Jeff _did_ talk a lot more during class today, with or without the teacher paying attention to him, but that didn’t make his headache better. “Evil,” he mumbled before coming back to his composed self. Quite impressive. “How are the plans for tomorrow going?” Cade couldn’t be reached under the circumstances.

“Mom talked to her, she talked to Cade. It should be fine,” he marched down the hall, trying to keep his mind off the fact that _wow, they were talking more these days_. Or was it just his mind acting drunk again? And Nick’s clothes kept looking better and better on him, damn them. How could they? It was the same uniform, for Pete’s sake!

“Thank you for the help,” Nick glanced at him with a heart-warming smile. Jeff thought about it; he had never had jelly legs before. “Without you, it would have all fallen on me and, despite what he’s thinking, I’m not good at these things,” he sighed. “Thank you, I’ll buy you an ice-cream for it.” A grin. “Or two.”

Jeff almost instinctively grabbed at his stomach. He was pretty sure it was not allowed to act like it currently was. Why was everything so different from what he had expected? He didn’t know what his body wanted in order to stop or if it was supposed to stop at all.

“You deserve one too, after this class.”

“Oh, I’ll be fine,” Nick waved it off and they reached another corridor. “My stop,” he smiled.

“Maybe I’ll sneak some ice-cream in, tomorrow night,” Jeff laughed. “See you,” he leant closer to Nick, stopping short when their faces were inches apart.

The brunet didn’t even blink until a moment later, when he too mirrored the other’s puzzled look. What were they just about to do? Pulling back quickly, Jeff patted his shoulder with a trembling hand and they separated.

o0o0o

“No. What I did last summer was crazy. This is...just...” she was in denial about her speechlessness.

More than happy with the result, Cade grinned, still holding her shoulders and he twirled her around a black, waist-level teapot, circled by five coloured cushions. Dozens of placements like this were splattered around the slightly damp grass of the park, a few still-barren trees close by, just perfect for a few light bulbs to be hanged from them on straws.

“And the mushrooms?” she laughed, kneeling down and stroking a big, plastic mushroom among other smaller ones.

Her boyfriend grinned. “These are for the booze. I figured it was safer than in the teapots.”

She goggled. “There’s something in them?” she hurried to the closest teapot and peeked inside.

“Un-spiked punch or alcohol-free cider,” he answered, glad to see her almost freak out.

“Oh, my God...”

“Should I call the guests too?”

The girl flailed her arms, nudging him to move faster as she glanced at the whole ‘landscape’ around her. On a black table, there were at least ten kinds of biscuits...not to mention the tarts on the one next to it. She was right, this was insane and it hadn’t even started.

However, in a matter of seconds she was already engulfed in group hugs and cheers that didn’t let her voice out another astonished gasp. “Going well?” Nick asked when he stayed behind, on quieter grounds with the party’s co-host.

“We made it five minutes, maybe I have a chance,” the boy grinned, stomping excitedly on his feet.

“Don’t get drunk,” the other added, worriedly. He was certainly not going to carry him home after this.

Cade smiled. “You too,” he got a grimace. “S-sorry. Well, let’s have fun,” he patted him on the back and went for the crowd.

o0o0o

“Aw, look at them,” David cooed from a distance when the girls he was previously trying to woo were distracted by somebody else. No hard feelings.

“Our very own little lovebirds,” Trent grinned, sitting on a dark purple cushion near the rest of their group.

“This may beat...,” Thad looked around and stopped. “Nick!”

“Beat Nick?” Wes laughed, mending the teapot at their centre to pour himself a glass of chilled punch. Good thing they had radiators around, else they would have already frozen to death.

The boy turned from where he was watching the couple silently, a few metres away. Blinking, he pushed a few dangling light bulbs out of the way and took the place he was given around the cold, giant teapot, smiling slightly. He knew he was going to be amused by them from the first moment he had spotted them and he hadn’t been mistaken.

Thad shook his head and stole Trent’s glass instead, making him groan in response. “I was saying,” he turned towards Nick, “that this may beat that time you planned their whole date.”

The brunet frowned. “He had threatened me that time.”

“It was still the best first date,” Trent grinned before looking at the couple again, who were glowering over some tiny plastic mushrooms.

The evening light was already getting dimmer so nobody could see the far parts of the park anymore. More lights had been turned on around them and, whether it was the social atmosphere or the discreet opening of some alcohol bottles around those around them, they weren’t quite as cold as they feared.

Somewhere relatively far from them, somebody let his overcoat dangle wildly in the air as he ran.

“Geronimooooo!”

“Wait for me! You don’t even know where it is!”

“No, I don’t!” the ginger kept on running down the descending path on the hill – God bless parks for their natural ambient – stopping only by grabbing a thin tree with his hands.

“Stay,” Jeff took a hold of his shoulder and inhaled deeply, a few tendrils of his bangs already sticking to his forehead, “here,” he finished and raised his eyes to the artificially lighted park.

“Tie me,” Miles breathed, laughing half-heartedly.

“You’re not gonna leave it, are you?” Jeff involuntarily checked said accessory.

Miles had started making fun of him for it even before he had the chance to put it on. It only made sense, no doubt he was jealous, not anybody found that pattern nowadays. At his smirk, the blond pouted.

“Let’s go, it’s around there,” he pointed at a few twinkling, yellowish lights at the corner of the alley.

They drew closer, this time trying to walk at the same pace. For mid-march, it was still quite cold, especially as it was drawing close to eight o’clock. Jeff felt thankful for the dark green hoodie he had brought, despite it not going quite well with his shirt...or tie.

The place wasn’t at all noisy yet. The music was good and, even thought the volume was quite low, they could still hear it. Cade, however, seemed to have something to say about it, as he was currently retrieving small, colourful – painted, for good measure – bottles out of mushrooms. _What a sight, too._

“Hey! Hey! Take this,” the boyfriend hurried towards them with two half-full glasses.

“What’s this...?” Miles sniffed at it and raised an eyebrow at the co-host. Jeff, on the other hand, took a good gulp out of it as soon as he saw its fluorescent red and green colours.

“Ugh,” he grimaced childishly, glowering at the glass now. “It’s spiked...ugh,” he wanted to put it on a table, but there was none around him, so it remained in his hands.

“Come on, it’s not that bad,” he turned in place to look at the rest of the party. “Thank you for helping me,” he smiled back at Jeff, knocking their glasses together, then doing the same with Miles’. “You too, for putting up with us these past days.”

The other just nodded while Jeff glanced from his drink to Cade again. “I didn’t really do anything, but I’m glad it turned out good,” he finally smiled.

And then it happened. Something as powerful as a nuclear explosion, some may think, but a good part of them didn’t even seem to acknowledge it. Cade stared at one of his friends who had leaned closer to tell him some secret words. Jeff, on his part, caught the warning signs he had been given.

“I gotta go,” Cade’s eyes widened at them and immediately ran to another part of the party’s site.

“What...?” Miles’ mouth hung open without any words coming out anymore.

“Come on,” Jeff grabbed his elbow and dragged him away from the eventual, metaphorical fire.

“But what happened?” his friend persisted even when they got to something that the blond seemed to consider a ‘safe place’.

Jeff shrugged. “Dunno. They told us to duck,” he pointed at David and Thad in the distance. “Let’s go there.”

The redhead gave himself a few seconds to assimilate the information while his friend was already getting ahead. “Wait!” he shouted, hurrying after him. “Like in the Weeping Angels’ episode?”

The other’s laugh did not make him feel any better. Avoiding a few close-knit packs of girls and boys alike, Jeff with the grace of the dancer he denied he was most of the times, Miles stumbling a little on his track, they finally reached their destination.

“So the superhero came, after all,” David chuckled at Jeff, looking around for two more cushions for the newcomers.

“And R-...” Trent tried to say, but Miles’ glare quickly shut him up.

“I’m not Robin,” he said, leaving no room for discussion.

“Oh, you liked him, come off it,” Jeff voiced wanna-be carelessly as he got a black cushion for himself and placed it innocently beside Nick. “Hey.”

“Hey,” the brunet smiled, watching him as he sat down. _Not good for your breathing, Jeff,_ the other mumbled in his head.

“What’s that?” Wes eyed Miles’ drink as he took a ‘seat’ too.

The ginger looked at his glass as if he had seemingly forgotten about it and frowned. “No idea,” he passed it to David’s extended hand.

The senior squinted at it suspiciously, exchanging a glance with Wes before taking a good sip of it. As by instinct, Jeff finished his glass at the same time, quite scared of what he was going to find out, but not intending to let it go. It was quite tasty, after all. This time, his throat burned a little harder and he missed Nick’s slightly worried look.

“Oh,” David laughed, lowering the drink. “It’s safe, nothing too strong. We’ve been right. I’m gonna smuggle one of those mushrooms,” he got up rapidly as some of them encouraged his plan and went straight for the more social areas.

Immediately, Trent and Wes got a hold of Miles between them, no doubt telling him about all the advantages of being a Warbler and how good it could be for him and how it will help him in the race for presidency. The usual stuff. While Thad was showing a hopeless Nick his prey for the night, a set of two strawberry-blond haired twin girls, Jeff looked over them at a running Cade in the distance, frowning at his behaviour.

“We’re having a small problem with the cake,” Nick startled him with a whisper, naturally leaning closer to him.

Half of his grey cells were yelling _ABORT_ , but he only managed to smile waveringly, staying frozen in place. Across the...teapot, he saw Miles narrowing his eyes at him. That could either mean that he looked strange or that his friend was finally getting scared by the two pests nagging at him. Hopefully not the first choice, but most probably.

 _Not good, not good, not good_ , his heart was frantic up to the point that it was getting ridiculous. _You’re doing this to yourself, Jeff. It’s not such a big thing._ It must have been the drink too, there was no way he could be affected like that solely by Nick’s voice. Or closeness. Or breath, so close to his cheek. No, no way. That was absurd.

“You don’t want to be in his way while he’s freaking out,” he continued and Jeff could have sworn that Nick’s forehead touched his hair. _Oh, dear Lord in Heaven..._

“Okay,” he whispered back, turning his head ever so slightly, just enough to look into bright hazel. Then someone pulled on his brown and blue tie.

“The Raggedy Doctor,” Nick grinned, still holding onto the material.

Jeff spared him an incredulous look as they were now at a normal distance again. He blinked. “How could you know everything that I’ve watched?”

A light, but nevertheless visible blush for the other’s keen glasses spread on Nick’s cheeks. “It’s just...bits. I used to get bored a lot.”

“Used to?” the blond inquired, glancing at his captured tie again.

His friend eventually let it go, sending him a significant smile. _Me?_ Jeff widened his eyes and Nick grinned in agreement. However, the last few actions seemed to have exhausted the brunet’s resources of courage or whatever he thought he needed then, as he rapidly sunk into himself, looking at everything but at Jeff.

o0o0o

Thump. The boy landed on his back, giggling at the stars.

“You’re drunk, Dave. Anything to say about this experience?” Wes grinned at his best friend who laughed as if he owned the world.

“Wheeeezeeeey!” the senior giggled again, moving his hands in the air until Wes and Thad got a hold of them.

Trent, on the other hand, got closer to Nick and Jeff. Miles had been hiding behind them for a while now, anyway. “Bound to happen,” he gestured at the other three. “Better than the other time, though. Should we help him out?”

“Nah, give him a little more time, he’s having fun,” Nick smiled at the laughing David.

“In his own little twisted world,” Miles hummed mysteriously behind them, getting a fit of giggles from Jeff. “Stop it, you only had one drink,” he frowned.

“You’re a gnome!” Jeff laughed, hiding his face into Nick’s shoulder. Just one drink, yes, but it had been his first drink ever. How could he have known? “Okay, okay, I’m good,” he wiped his eyes while still keeping a big smile on his face and giggled at the faces Nick was pulling at him.

In the end, the cake was not the start of a disaster. It arrived a little late, true, but it was still intact and _fluffy_ and _green_ and downright insane. And who had ever thought of incorporating candy floss in a birthday cake? Cade did, apparently, as he had designed more or less the whole thing.

“Well, this ought to clear his mind of those breaking up thoughts for a while, right?” Trent glanced at the couple as they took a break from another group of people and were walking around the decorated, still barren trees.

“Hopefully,” Nick agreed, leaning back on his elbows on the grass. “They’ll be fine.”

“Can somebody give him a damn candy?!” Wes rose from the ground, where he had been decrypting David’s amused chokes and some colleague of theirs threw a couple of green pieces of sugar at them.

Trent let out a calming sigh. “Lovely. Why are we making a singles’ corner here?” he turned in order to see the other three better and grimaced. “Unacceptable.”

“It’s not like we can help it,” Miles mumbled grumpily, hugging his knees. Almost imperceptively, Nick nodded too.

The asker goggled quizzically at both of them, then shared a displeased look with Jeff, whose circuits were working so hard that he hadn’t had any reaction to all that. _Don’t say anything, the alcohol will change your words._ He blinked forcefully, trying to wake up for good. _Don’t say anything._

“Of course you can help it, it’s the only thing you can do,” Trent groaned, turning his eyes towards the night sky.

“And you?” Miles shot back, distrustful.

“I...,” he cleared his throat, “I’m working on it.”

The two in cause grinned at their small victory. “We promise we’ll do our best then too,” Nick smiled innocently at him, knowing that he didn’t buy any of it. “Jeff?” he turned his head as the blond ducked and shook his.

“Nothing.” _Don’t say anything_.

Out of nowhere, the redhead started throwing question after question at Trent and _wow, I didn’t think it really mattered to him_ , Jeff mused, looking with wide eyes at his roommate.

“Of course it’s enough! Geez, Miles, most say there _aren’t_ enough nice guys on this Earth,” the victim smiled motherly at the distressed teen.

“But that can’t...that’s not...”

“That makes you a good friend. You need a little more to attract someone romantically,” Nick spoke, glancing at the two of them, then drifted back into his own soul a little.

Readjusting his shirt, Trent scoffed. “You’re both paranoid and you’re all going to find your paranoid halves.”

At this, the ginger kept on pressing on the matter, but Nick shut their conversation a little more off as Jeff’s eyes were still trained on him, drifting in and out of focus. Tired, he was tired. How late was it, anyway? “I don’t see that happening anytime soon,” the blond stirred as Nick’s whisper reached his ears in time with a small, somewhat sad smile.

And before he could catch it, it was out. “I’ve got to tell you something.”

He knew he did, but now it was definite. He had to confess some time and if it was going to boost Nick’s confidence, then it was all for the best. He hadn’t totally screwed up, after all. The brunet’s big eyes looked into his and he felt his mouth dry.

“But not now.” Raised eyebrows. “Too much noise,” he brushed it off and went to get himself another glass of harmless juice.


	11. Twirling efforts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to Dalton Academy, your favourite part-time dance school. Now open in Westerville, OH.

A smaller shirt, he could understand – it wasn’t the first time he was told that his clothes were slightly oversized – but this...this was, he looked with goggly eyes at a pair of white jeans, this was beyond his limits already. _Does he really think I’m **ever** going to wear these?_

“Problem?” the other grinned slyly, looking actually offended by Nick’s glare afterwards. “It’s an experiment,” he defended himself.

“Like you changing my whole wardrobe?” the victim raised an eyebrow.

Lewis shook his head in discontent. “That, my dear friend,” he threw his arm over Nick’s shoulders, “was a rescue mission.”

“What?” greenish eyes scanned his face.

Unperturbed this time, his friend laughed light-heartedly. “If you’re not going to make a move on any of them,” he gestured at an invisible crowd, “let them jump you. I merely helped in triggering them.”

“I don’t see the big difference,” Nick scowled, gazing at his clothes.

“Trust me, you look way better now. You just need to find your audience.”

“Are you on something?”

Lewis put on a dirty smirk. “You wish. Now put these on.”

He grabbed not the scandalous white pair, but a dark blue one. Still within the uniform’s limits, sure enough. He had been very careful with that, for one that usually doesn’t respect it.

“And this,” he threw a white cotton shirt at him.

And then, just as Nick was looking for his blazer, a mental sticky note hit him hard. “Did you leave me _anything_ for sports? We’ll rehearse choreography this week.”

Instead of talking further, Lewis simply pulled two drawers open, showing his roommate whole sets of T-shirts and long sweatpants. He mouthed a ‘welcome’ and fled the room.

o0o0o

“Cayden, calm your girlfriend!” Aaron crossed the room in a hurry, keeping the phone far from his face. Blond hair in a mess, he was not going to negotiate about it.

“That’s not my name and it’s not my fault! Whatever it is, you’ve angered her!” the brown-haired teen said with finality and ran before anyone could have stopped him. Not like anybody except the singer would.

A few blameless onlookers drew back in their chairs as the blond looked with annoyance and possibly fear at the mobile. Therefore, it was no doubt that the atmosphere in the room had become visibly lighter when he left it. Some of them could have even sworn that the air was colder around him back then.

“No, I’m not going to call him!” were the last words they heard before the closed door muffled them.

Sure enough, Cade didn’t stay a refugee for too long and before they knew it, he was back in the common room, spreading his History notebook and a few books on a table near a window. At the slight shudder of the wood, Nick raised his eyes to look at his best friend for a brief second before he continued his essay.

“It’s amazing how you can work in all this noise,” Cade gestured at the door and at a few chatting teens around the room. The rest of them – it was a relatively crowded day – were, like them, studying or trying to do so.

“The library’s full,” Nick mumbled, this time not raising his head from the paper. His fingers were already smudged with ink – he couldn’t find a good enough pen – and in front of him were already two full pages of scribbles.

Cade gulped at the amount of work his friend had already done, remembering that they were taking the same History class. “How long is it since you started?” he whispered, fearing the answer.

“Two hours or so,” the brunet replied in the same way, turning the paper and starting a new paragraph on the other side.

That was it; he let his head fall on the desk. “I’m never going to finish,” he wailed softly.

“You haven’t even started,” came the motherly words immediately and he was offered a pencil. “Go on, we have physics too after this.”

A longer whine. “Why couldn’t we just have dropped it?”

Nick’s hazel eyes finally looked directly at him. “The deal?”

Cade nodded instantly and let his head fall again. That was right; after their first physics class that year, they had agreed not to complain about it, simply because they could feel how horrendous it was going to be anyway. He, for one, didn’t really know if it was really helping their cause, but Nick seemed actually more relaxed about the subject as long as they were not talking a word about it, so he decided to play along. Who knew, maybe God was going to make it easier for him too.

“Can we go for a movie this Saturday?” the teen finally asked after scribbling three messy paragraphs. “I’ll ask the others too,” he added when Nick didn’t respond.

“Can’t. Regionals this weekend,” he muttered and ran his eyes over the newly finished page. They were already glassy with effort.

Cade blinked. “The entire weekend?”

“They didn’t want it to be crowded,” he answered, putting his essay pages in order. “We’ll stay in a hotel around there.”

He thought about it for a minute. Anything was more interesting than his long homework, of course. “Then...I’ll come in the second day, is that all right?”

Closing the History book, Nick shrugged. “That’s when I’ll sing.”

“Cool,” his friend grinned and kept looking at him, running over subjects of discussion in his head, but one heavy glance from the brunet was enough to send him back to work.

“Physics,” Nick sighed, pulling the notebook from his bag and rushing through the exercises. He wasn’t going to be late for practice, after all.

o0o0o

Later that day and not so early in the evening as they were used to – some of the day students had, obviously, to complain, but now it was settled – the large school gym came to life again when Wes turned on all the lights and then ran down to the small group of Warblers that was already there.

It was as funny as it was strange to see their most serious council member dressed so informally, in baggy grey pants and a simple red T-shirt. His gaze, however, did not waver even a bit from the one he always gave them. The one that said he would have order no matter what.

“Forgot your gavel, captain?” David patted him jokingly on the back and his friend jumped in surprise, diminishing the tension that had accumulated in the air around them until that moment.

“Shut up. Where are the others?” the senior’s eyes immediately fell on the door and just then it opened and half a dozen students stumbled in, all in various stages of a sports outfit. Some of them, less expecting for a change of pace, were still in their uniform, apart from the blazers. “Jeff, up here, in front,” he raised his voice in order for it to reach the blond at the far back of the small crowd and he hurried to the appointed place.

After that, Wes was gone to haunt the hallways for the absent members – it was still early, not even their meeting hour, but one could never argue with their one-third of a captain once his mind was settled on something. Jeff exchanged a half-amused, half-expecting look with David, who soon enough took a place on the floor, waiting for the others to come.

The blond looked around once, pulled his black-rimmed glasses down on his nose, looked again, put them back up and was going to pull them off when the room was filled with new voices again. Oh, well, maybe going without them wouldn’t have been such a good idea anyway, the lights made everything even more of a blur than normal. So he rocked on his blue sneakers, taking his hoodie off once Wes closed the door behind him and the rest of the team, remaining in a loose white T-shirt.

“Mark, front. Aaron, Nick, Cameron, front. Dave, front too. Thad...just stay here,” Wes marched two times in front of them, analysing something only he knew.

“What do you mean ‘just stay here’?!” Thad’s jaw fell as he waved his hands in the air.

The other rolled his eyes. “Fine. Aaron, here, Thad, here, Jeff, beside them.”

Aaron simply yawned soundly and stepped forward as he ruffled his hair, pulling a few strands out of the sloppy ponytail he had previously made. Thad reluctantly took his place near him, eyeing everyone suspiciously and Jeff obeyed without making a sound, hands deep in his pants’ pockets for the moment.

“We’ll change as we work it out, but you two,” Wes pointed at the first two in line, “need to be synchronized.”

“W-why?” Thad did not hold back his sour look and the head Warbler near him barely gave any attention to the speech.

Slightly from behind them, David raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t we tell you? Duet.”

“I really hoped you were making a bad joke...”

“Enough, let’s get started,” the third council member made his way to the stereo at the far left side of the gym, leaving them a small amount of time for further chatting. Really, it was worse than in some of their mandatory classes.

While Wes was fiddling with some old CDs – no wonder, used by the previous choir members too – Jeff took the opportunity to turn and share a quick smile with Nick. It already didn’t feel that bad anymore; maybe the butterflies had nested in his stomach or they simply liked him and were gentler now, but seeing Nick was again a pleasure more than a mess of a hundred feelings put together.

But then again, this was only when he was momentarily forgetting about the promise at the party. That, that thing wasn’t planned, but Jeff could not back out now, not when he knew his confession could actually – in a very twisted way – help Nick. That didn’t make him any less scared of the outcome, however, but he was going to think about that later.

“I’m really not eager to do this,” Nick mumbled, looking at a fixed point in front of him and Jeff chuckled before putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder. _Warm._

“S’okay. Just look at me.”

At this, the brunet laughed light-heartedly. “Yeah, I think that’s the very reason Wes wants you in front.”

“True,” Jeff grinned and drew his hand back as the music started playing at their left.

“Right then,” Wes looked at them sharply, hands on his hips and eyes unwavering. “After me.”

o0o0o

 _This.is.not.how.you.teach.a.new.choreography_. Nick couldn’t breathe after only twenty minutes of continuous dancing. They had a few – no more than three, he was sure – breaks at the very beginning, when Wes was just explaining the first steps, but they were spared even of those once Jeff and Aaron got it.

And Nick’s whole being – and most likely he wasn’t alone – was screaming ‘UNFAIR’ at the whole situation. However, it seemed that Wes was sure that, without them having the slightest idea of what they were doing, they were going to get it right if they did _it_ enough times. Everything would have been a collective mess and he wouldn’t have felt half as bad if only some of them didn’t eventually start to catch up to the moves. _That_ was alarming.

And Nick had never been good under pressure. He didn’t get it and he didn’t feel like getting it anytime soon by the look of things. As his body continued to move on its own, completely out of pattern – he thought – his throat and chest started to ache and he was just waiting for someone – other than Thad – to complain and stop. Where was all that ambition coming from, anyway?

They weren’t really respecting the initial formation anymore, so at first he wasn’t surprised to see Jeff right in front of him. But why was he not moving? A quick look around showed him that the others were still struggling. His knees almost buckled when the blond put his hands on his shoulders to steady him and looked him in the eyes. Breathless; breathless and thirsty, that’s what Nick was at that moment. No wonder he disliked sports.

“Come on,” Jeff released his shoulders and he found himself quite sure-footed again. “After me,” the blond shoved the fringe out of his eyes, but did not turn his back to him. Nick blinked.

As the song reached the chorus again, Jeff started the dance slowly at first, mirroring the movements Nick was supposed to make. It took a few moments for the brunet to actually understand, but then he involuntarily started to move again. It wasn’t instantly easier now, especially after his muscles had relaxed unhelpfully during his short break, but this time Jeff was correcting him every time he strayed from the pattern. Surprisingly, it didn’t happen quite as often as he would have expected.

And then a mighty break had been announced and Nick flopped on the floor, wide eyes gazing at the tall ceiling. A few breathless ‘oh’s could be heard from the others as their feet gave in too and he finally closed his eyes, focusing on evening his breath. It was probably quite late and a good part of them had to go home, but he doubted that Wes was going to let them go to their dorm too. No, that would have been too easy.

When his heart had calmed down a little, he heard a soft shuffle of fabric very close to him and then he felt the cold surface of a water bottle make contact with his cheek. Obviously, he leant into it. “Feeling better?” Jeff’s voice was low as he blocked the distressing light that was hurting his eyes.

Yeah, he was certainly better now. He nodded, propping on his elbow and receiving the bottle. It was at times like this that most of them really appreciated the miracle that was water. Really, they could have done anything for it right then. Nick wondered if this was how mass manipulation worked.

Maybe his brain needed some oxygen too. “Are we still staying?” he eventually asked, looking at the day students as they left the gym. He wanted nothing more than to shower for a long time and to sleep even longer. Or maybe to fall asleep in the shower, that was more like him, at the moment.

“Wes is exhausted too, but he’d never admit it. We should play dead,” Jeff giggled as he stretched his legs in front of him.

Nick pondered his options for a moment. “Okay,” he fell back down and closed his eyes. If Wesley, with his four intense years of dancing, was exhausted, then he was more than entitled to be so too.

“Really?” the blond looked at his still form with wide eyes and, when he realised the other was not going to move anytime soon, he did the same. _This had better work._

Fortunately, it did. Well, maybe David’s full-force puppy eyes had something to do with it too or maybe Wes was just getting tired of Thad’s whines, but the essential fact was that they were set free. True, they were set to do this every day until Saturday, but at least they could sleep now and not think about the pains that waited for them in the morning.

o0o0o

 _This is it, right?_ Jeff frowned at the bluish ceiling, holding the blanket up to his neck. It was slightly cold, somebody must have turned off the heating during the night. _Why would they do that? It’s still early spring!_ He shifted under the covers, overly aware of his frozen feet.

It couldn’t have been more than 5 am, judging by the lack of light. Miles was breathing softly in his bed, totally unaware of his roommate’s distress. That was weird, Jeff could have sworn that he was already emanating some sort of dark aura from the past few nights of restless sleep. However, if his friend still didn’t feel like anything was wrong, he was soon going to. _After today, for sure._

Jeff had no idea what he was going to do, how he was going to choose his words or where it was going to take place. After all, this was going to be his first confession. It was the first time he had something of this sort to confess too, but he didn’t like to think of that, it was just added stress.

What if it backfired? He wanted to do it because it felt like a secret and he didn’t like keeping them, but also because it felt like something Nick ought to know. _For all the different reasons_. Of course, he had thought about waiting until his feelings were in the past and then tell him, but that didn’t sound so great.

 _That sounds like cheating_ , he bit his lip. He didn’t even want to think of how Nick would feel if he said it later. No, that was not going to happen. Nick deserved better. _I’ll die for sure. I’ll die. I’ll die. I’m already dying._ Somehow, he felt better now.

o0o0o

At the teacher’s words, Jeff’s heart dropped in his chest. Last two classes cancelled meant that he was caught unprepared. He couldn’t go to his room now. He had avoided it all day; even when he had forgotten his Chemistry notebook in there, he didn’t go and retrieve it. It was as if that place was waiting for him to come and eat all of his fragile courage.

“Jeff?” he turned instantly on his heels, startling the brunet a little and delaying his smile. “Come over for a bit.”

As his friend turned and went for the stairs, Jeff blinked incredulously at the world. Was this really happening? The Universe hadn’t been so obvious with him since he had bought a whole trilogy of games in a single day. This was definitely his chance. No matter that he wasn’t prepared, he had to succumb to it.

If only his throat didn’t start constricting at the first steps…

Was Nick’s room always this close to the rest of the school? A short laugh escaped him. When did _that_ happen? Nick was with his back to him, mending an old, funny-looking stereo. And Jeff had never been fascinated by fingers before. Like, really. He swallowed, his eyes fixated on the other’s hands as he felt his legs getting close to buckling.

“Here, have you heard about them?” Nick played the cassette and turned towards him. _He doesn’t look well_ , the smile faltered as he approached his suddenly pale friend. “Are you alright?”

 _Don’t act creepy_ , Jeff shook his head, trying to pull the corners of his mouth upwards. _Get it out of your system and you’ll be able to breathe. Quickly._ “I’m okay,” his voice didn’t break, but it came out really low and maybe childish. _Concentrate on not losing him. It’s possible._ “Nick?”

“Yeah?” Nick sat on the edge of his bed, watching him with a motherly concern that made him feel so inappropriate in what he was going to do. The music was nice, calming, a ray of help from the high heavens. “Jeff?”

Nick winced internally at the flicker of unexpected pain that had passed by his friend’s eyes at that moment. This was absolutely not normal and he felt helpless while facing the other’s visible anguish. He had used the name to give himself a stability pole.

“I’m going to say this really quickly, okay?” Jeff breathed out, fidgeting and looking straight into his eyes.

 Nick, thankfully, nodded silently. _You’re_ _not going to look so calm in a minute_ , the blond paused for a few seconds. These were the short moments in which one knew that he could still stop and hold on to his slightly normal life, but he wasn’t going to.

“I…well…you see…” He stopped. Was Nick smiling?

“Don’t hurry,” the brunet murmured, still trying to look comforting.

 _Thank you_ , the other spared him a moment. His chest hurt. “Right. This is really…” _Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, Jeff_. “I…like you.” A moment.

And then he saw the acknowledgement on his friend’s face. One, two, three blinks and Nick was already looking hazy.

“But!” the blond raised his voice, making the other look at him calmly. “I…I’m q-quite positive it’ll pass…someday. I promise it’ll be soon! Just…” Nick was really quiet. _Really, really, really_. Why wasn’t he better at reading emotions? _Jeff!_ “I’m sorry…” he finally whispered, prepared to go out of the room any second.

With a sudden gasp, Nick seemed to come back to reality and his gaze hurriedly searched for Jeff, who was still not gone. Involuntarily, he even got up and walked slowly to him. “No, it’s…” he saw the blond’s shaky breath. “Jeff, it’s okay,” he stopped himself before touching his arms. “It’s okay…” he said it again because he felt that Jeff needed it but, on his part, he had no idea what he was doing.

“Yeah,” his friend kept looking at the floor. “It will be. Nick…” he looked up, but he didn’t quite know what he wanted to say anymore. His mouth was dry. “I’ll go now,” he felt his legs turn to melting jelly. _Never good, never good_. He closed the door behind him with trembling hands.

And now Nick was dreadfully alone in his room. After he took a long gulp of air into his lungs, he looked around. Baby steps; first, he had to sit down. Good thing his bed was relatively close. He blinked and shook his head lightly a few times, but it did not help so, in the end, he resorted to running his hands agitatedly through his black hair. Better now, he could think.

A pill full of feelings dissolved quickly in his chest and he bit his lip in order to contain them. _Okay, one by one_ , he exhaled, looking at the wall ahead. _Surprise_ ; of course he was surprised. Somebody had just confessed to him. He bit harder. Not just somebody, but Jeff. Why did that seem to _diminish_ the emotion? It wasn’t as if…he had expected that. Even a little. No, he certainly didn’t. Right? It just felt so _natural_.

What else? He could feel now and then light stabs of fear. That was temporary, even _he_ could tell that. But what was he scared of, exactly? He thought about Jeff and how vulnerable he looked in the last few moments. All this had taken him a lot of courage and Nick could barely start comprehending how someone had put himself in that position for _him_.

And from that he reached an alien feeling of happiness. It was there for sure, so there was no point in denying it, but he thought he wasn’t supposed to experience that. But…this was the first time anyone had felt something like that for him. It gave him hope and not even the reminder that that person was Jeff had let it falter. In fact, it was quite… _nice_.

Jeff was his friend and Nick wasn’t going to let him spreading his heart out go by as if it was nothing. Because it mattered. It mattered so much that he felt unworthy of all that effort and that sentiment. That confession needed someone able to deal with it correctly and Nick was not that person, but he still had to try.

 _But you can reciprocate_ , a voice whispered inside his head and he hurriedly shut it off. It was too easy to take the most desperate way right now. Unconsciously, he had started biting his fingers a few minutes ago. For the past few months – maybe a year, maybe two – he had dealt with his yearn for somebody, he had buried that part of him in some dark place and now it was coming to surface again.

In this analyzing moment, he knew that he had been too lonely, wanting for somebody to care about him more than in the careful way friends usually did, to jump to conclusions now. He needed to think about it hard and good and only when he was entirely sure tell Jeff what he was actually feeling about it.

 _Easier said than done_ , he whined softly into his hands just as the door opened again, flooding half of the room with the hallway light. He hadn’t seen that the curtains were closed. After a quick glance, he saw that the person was Lewis, so he returned to his silent mumbles to calm himself down.

“Are you okay?” the other came closer, trying to examine his face behind his hands and bangs. Nick only raised his eyes in response; he didn’t think he could talk coherently just yet. “Dude…” Lewis peered even closer, making him drop his hands and give him a questioning look. “Are you sick?”

The brunet simply shook his head and got up, intending to change in his practice clothes. Maybe some mindless effort was going to help him put things in order. _But Jeff will be there…probably_ , he swallowed dryly.

“Then,” his roommate looked straight at his face for a moment, before his features took a slightly amused turn. “You’re blushing,” he grinned slyly and Nick’s eyes almost bulged out of their orbits, causing him to laugh. Successful fishing.

o0o0o

“You don’t look good,” Miles stared at him over his thick comic book.

On the opposite part of the room, Jeff was soundly battling with a pair of long, black trousers that simply refused to go up. Damned socks. “What?” he muttered, leaning back on his bed and prompting his legs on the closed door of his wardrobe.

“You look ill or poisoned,” the other went on with the same tone.

“How,” he won the battle with his right leg, “would you know?” he hit his foot in the desk and hissed loudly.

“Dad used to keep snakes, remember?” boredom was clear in his voice. “Are you going to be late again? You have two more days until the contest, you’re going to die in that gym.”

“I’ll try my best,” the blond groaned and he was finally half dressed. Practice! Practice after the most stressful even of his life! Jeff could barely start on how scandalous the situation was. What was Nick going to do? What was _he_ going to do?

The other marched over to the desk and retrieved a Mars bar from the bag of supplies under it. “Care to tell me what did you do before committing suicide?” he asked indifferently and the very fact that he was not waiting for an answer triggered Jeff.

“I told him,” he put on his glasses after pulling a yellow T-shirt over his head.

Back on his bed, Miles frowned, munching. “Told what? To whom?”

Jeff inhaled deeply, looking around himself. “Nick.” As if that was going to explain everything.

“Nick?” the ginger raised an unconvinced eyebrow. “What did you tell him?” The hopeless, hurt look in his friend eyes turned a light bulb on. “Oh!”

“Yeah,” he mumbled.

“You-...”

“Yep. I’m going. Plug my Xbox for me, please,” he reached the door with numb, frozen fingers.

“Sure...” his friend still gaped, staring at him as he went out.

o0o0o

Changed formation. That was their miracle for the day. They had spent the entire time at opposite parts of the room, not even doing as much as looking at each other more than two times in three hours and a half. Good thing Wes had been on a roll and went on with the singing parts too. Good, despite the fact that Jeff wasn’t prepared for that unexpected solo that had been thrown at him.

When he got back to his room, Miles had kept his word – the console was prepared at the foot of his bed – and, at the moment, he was heavenly quiet. Once he showered and changed his clothes again, Jeff gathered half a dozen games from under his bed – never mind the dust now – and took his place on the floor.

There were two possibilities. Either the games were going to diminish his stress or do further damage, making him forget. He was okay with either outcome, as he didn’t have much time. It was already late in the afternoon and Wes wanted them back to practice after dinner.

A knock on the door had been enough to make his heart skip a beat, but then the door actually opened. _It can’t be Nick_ , he gulped and his theory had been proved correct when David peeked into the room, a big grin on his face. Miles was already in defensive.

“Surprise!” the senior walked over to Jeff, giving him a CD along with two sheets of paper. “You’re dismissed today from dancing if you want to practice it. I suggest you do, you’re already our best dancer,” he offered him a friendly smile when he saw that Jeff was still dumbfounded.

“So this is...” he grabbed the CD.

David grinned some more. “Your solo, yes.” _Oh._


	12. Bowties and Hiccups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bowties are cool. Shuddup.

“So...”

“Yeah...”

“Um...”

“Hungry?”

He took the other half of the sandwich without questioning it and waited until the other had finished his glass of orange juice. Nothing had died yet, not even them; maybe they had a chance. At first, Nick thought they were headed for the garden or the cafeteria, but Jeff walked right past him and started ascending the stairs. Was he supposed to follow? Looking at the sandwich, he guessed so, but he couldn’t be sure after four hours of sleeping.

 “Can I come over?” Nick asked at the foot of the stairs, making the other turn to look at him.

“I thought you were,” Jeff blinked behind his glasses and the other’s body immediately eased up, a smile playing on his lips now. _Come on, it’s not that bad. See?_

“Is this new?” he pointed at the flat screen once they reached Jeff’s room.

The dorm was strangely empty, but it was understandable, since only the Warblers had been dismissed from class in order to prepare some more for the weekend’s contest. Only the odds were in their favour that Wes was asleep for the day. Maybe he was saving his last breath for the next day, when they were still free of any classes; something was telling them they were not going to enjoy it a bit.

Jeff glanced at the television, then got two cushions from a drawer. “Yeah,” he smiled. “Wanna try it?”

“Does it have multi-player?”

“It should,” Jeff fiddled with his controller, gasping in delight when his words had proven to be true.

For around ten minutes, they played quietly, each trying to find the rules of the game without looking over the manual. All in all, it wasn’t that hard. Even Nick was able to score some points by the end of it, after all. _At least Jeff looks better than yesterday_ , he glanced at his right, at the blond’s focused face. It was almost as if nothing had happened. Almost. Jeff finally paused the game.

“Sorry for not helping you yesterday,” his gaze lingered a few seconds too long on the brunet’s face. They both blinked. “During practice.”

“Oh,” Nick sighed understandingly. “It’s alright. I actually managed the whole number on my own. Twice,” he grinned, his heart growing a little lighter at seeing Jeff’s face relaxing.

“You’re going to be great,” he said, looking a little too dreamily at the screen. It was getting close to lunch hour, but he guessed he was going to stay in the dorms a little longer. After that, he was going to practice his solo some more, at David’s request.

 _Come on, Nick, just spill it out. He had already said it once. This is the least you can do_. But Nick couldn’t. He only gazed at Jeff as the blond refused to make eye contact yet and hoped that they will develop some psychic powers soon. Really, why did they usually seem to come when they didn’t need it?

Too soon he had been to judge the Power, it seemed, as Jeff, a few thoughts later, gave distinct signs that he was about to talk. _You’d better brace yourself, Nick_ , the brunet inhaled deeply, waiting for the other to find his words. _Yes or No. Yes or no what?_ He was in no position to see things in black and white. _Whether you like him or not, idiot_ , the voice rang again, for the first time causing a disapproving sound in his mind. Was his brain being finally an ally? _It’s Jeff,_ he managed to explain before said person shuffled again.

The blond looked at the floor in front of them, lighted by the spring sun outside. “Was yesterday foolish?” he as well as whispered, in a self-induced state of dreamland. He couldn’t stay there for long, though.

Staring at his face as if waiting for him to shift his eyes and make contact, Nick shook his head a little too fast.

“I thought you should know. People _can_ like you like that...”

In itself, that _did_ make a little more sense, Nick thought, remembering the party. He knew he had been a little too free with words back then, but he had never expected them to affect Jeff. _Well, you never expected him to like you either and look where we are now._ True, but that didn’t mean he had to like this atmosphere settled between them at the moment.

“Jeff...” he breathed out softly, hoping for eye contact but still not receiving it.

The blond hugged his knees to his chest loosely, still looking through his eyelashes at the floor, glasses not quite useful anymore. “I know...”

For the first time, Nick sighed loudly, startling him. “No, you don’t...” his voice was soft and as amused as his grin.

Before he knew it, Jeff was pulled forward by his friend gently, but not mercifully ruffling his blond hair. The brunet held back only after hearing unmistakeable giggles coming from him.

“Expecto Patronum,” Nick chuckled, touching their foreheads briefly and then getting back to his place.

For a moment, Jeff narrowed his eyes at him in wonder, then his smile came back as soon as it clicked. “Yeah, I really thought I’d never be happy again,” he then shook his head to force is bangs to get out of his eyes, missing the look Nick was giving him.

If they could just end it at this without having more thoughts to come, it would have been so perfect. But they couldn’t, no matter how much he dreaded the next. “I...um, I guess I should give an answer,” it was his time to look at his feet now.

One-two-three, it was quiet. Nick raised his eyes to look at Jeff, whose expression was unreadable until his eyes landed on him again. “You can’t give me something you don’t have,” he breathed out, a sad, small smile playing on his lips.

 _He knew that before you did_ , washed over Nick’s thoughts as he bit his lip. That was true, but how could he agree without making it sound so harsh? He felt like there was an escape route, but he couldn’t possibly reach it now.

He nodded. “I don’t...yet.”

Jeff pushed his glasses back on his nose and returned his eyes to the flat screen. “It’s okay, it will pass,” he retrieved his controller, waiting for Nick to do the same, but he didn’t. He frowned; this was not the moment to get hopeful.

“I’ll...,” Nick started without knowing what he was going to say – if he was going to say anything at all – but then saw Jeff offering him the controller, poker-faced.

After staring at each other for a couple of seconds, the brunet leant it and placed a small kiss on Jeff’s cheek, grabbing the controller before it had the chance to fall from his hand. He could almost see him counting to three before starting the game again, still trying to suppress a smile.

o0o0o

Two days can take someone very far. One can land in another country, get married, save the Universe in two days. The Dalton Warblers, however, only got as far as the front schoolyard, exhausted after two full days of sleeping and practice (both can tire someone up) and under the hawk eyes of their beloved council member.

“Look at them,” Wes stood with his arms crossed over his chest, uniform immaculate while the others still lingered in shirts or hoodies, planning to get changed once they reached the location. David gave them a look and laughed at his friend as he gave him his backpack.

“Relax, Wesley, else you’ll have a heart attack before graduating. Which, by the way, is in two months.”

“Mediocre,” the other stated, but his figure was evidently more carefree. “Okay, get a grip, you geese! Get in the bus already, it’s late!”

“It’s 7 am!” a few whined, the rest being too asleep to do even that.

“Exactly! You don’t want to land directly on stage, do you? Get up!”

“Whoa, captain, such power,” Thad laughed beside him, getting pleasure from the poisonous daggers that were thrown his way.

“You’ll be first,” Wes muttered, instantly having the other’s face fall.

Thad scoffed and looked around. “You think I don’t know? The way I had to hunt him down the hallways for a chance to practice...I only hope he remembers the lyrics,” he narrowed his eyes at their ex-main soloist.

“He’d better, else I’ll make sure it remains on his record. UP!” The council turned in place too and, after shoving the last few Warblers in the bus, got inside too.

o0o0o

“Wes! The rooms are too small!”

Right.

“Weeees! The beds are uncomfortable!”

Left.

“David! Tell Wes the balcony is too narrow!”

Diagon Alley.

“Thad, go away!”

Somebody pushed the teen outside of the room. He stumbled over a couple others back in the hallway. The few who were not complaining could barely comprehend how the hotel personal didn’t pour gasoline on them and set them on fire yet.

“Wes! Do we really have to stay here?”

“The neighbours are too noisy, Wesley!”

And if the Warblers were bad on their own, it felt like nothing to how it was now, when they were sharing the floor with the other two music groups too. To add to that, none of them had settled in their rooms yet. Maybe the other private school, Eckhart Academy, was almost done, but that didn’t mean its students didn’t run up and down the hallway, looking for some mobile signal. Or whatever.

The ones from McKinley, however, were horrendous. Judging by the fact that they were the smallest group there – 12, added a member just to have the required number for the competition –, the Warblers having reached a total of twenty and Eckhart being settled in three whole rooms, Wes had expected them not to be a problem. He was, in the end, mistaken.

“How are you coping?” David leant near Wes’ crouching form on the floor where the boy was doing everything he could not to rip out his hair in that chaos.

“Like I’m dealing with twenty 5-year-old Hollywood brats. The usual,” he groaned and grabbed his best friend’s arm as he got up. “I want ten of you in each room,” he raised his voice hopelessly in the noise, having only three or four people listening to him, then turned to leave. “I’ll see if they can give us more rooms.”

“Useless. I tried. This is all they’ve got for us,” David smiled a little at the mad crowd.

Very few people knew what they were doing in that hallway full of bags and luggage (seriously, who brought luggage for a two-day trip?), but the council members could see some of their group being pushed in their two assigned rooms by Nick and Mark, their freshman beatboxer. While the latter was taller than most of them and could make himself clear regarding his intention of clearing the way, Nick had some trouble not being squished by the ones he had supposedly  told to get inside a room, any room.

Three doors closed with a loud clank and then a fourth, but this one with less luck, as it had been opened again with the same force. Well, at least the Eckhart students were safe now. This remained between Dalton and McKinley now.

“ _Excuse me_ , but we were here first,” a short girl made her way towards Wes and David, who were still staying out of the mess. “And we _need_ that room,” he pointed, her tone a little too dramatic for the boys to keep a straight face, at the door in the far left of the corridor, the second one appointed to them.

“All rooms are the same,” Wes raised an eyebrow at her, hands in his pockets as she frowned.

“You don’t understand,” she inhaled, an involuntary smile on her lips as she spoke slower. “We need that room. _I_ need that room. It’s good luck if you see the sunrise before a competition.”

The two exchanged a look, then returned their eyes to her. “Then we’re fortunate we got it first,” David grinned without expecting her fiery gaze afterwards.

“This is war,” she closed her hands in fists and stalked off, mumbling. “As if Rachel Berry needs luck to win this competition.”

“What was that?” Thad appeared with Trent behind the other two and looked at the girl’s figure returning to the bedlam.

David laughed. “Rival wanting to duel for our room. We would’ve showed her, but we felt pity.”

“Yeah,” Wes breathed, advancing towards the crowd. “Lucky she was cute,” he barely mumbled, but his three friends hadn’t missed it and exchanged a look.

o0o0o

“Well, this is weird,” Aaron looked at the piece of paper stuck to the front door of the auditorium

Nick tilted his head. “And here I thought I understood wrong.”

“I thought they were only going to have the ending ceremony in a different day...So, still day two?” the taller blond glanced at his with grey-blue eyes.

The brunet nodded. “Still day two. It will all depend on what the other teams decide. Whether they leave their winning performance for the second day or not.” To say he was nervous was a big understatement. He was frightened.

“What do you mean?” The quick turn of the other soloist startled Nick. “You’re our second weapon. The only bad thing that can happen to us in day two is being beaten by the judges for not using you sooner.”

“If you say so...We’d better get ready, they’re getting ready for their first number,” he pointed at the students of the other Academy running past them in flows of dark, creamy materials. Maybe they were hoping to get bonus points for their costumes.

“See, another stupidity!” Aaron threw his hands in the air, following the shorter Warbler. “They make us take turns for each song now!”

o0o0o

How to knock someone off their feet in three easy steps. No, scratch that, one was enough. When he had first accepted being there to help them, he had expected something like handling water bottles or snacks, not almost two dozen blazers thrown on him.

“Miles, are you okay?” Jeff grabbed two of them, just enough to see his friend’s irritated eyes.

“Exquisite,” he grumbled in the fabric and was just on his way to pour the rest of the clothes on top of the blond when the same one gave the blazers back, almost making him fall on his back. “Jeff!”

“Sorry, Wes is calling!” the blond said from a distance and ran to the group of people getting ready for their performance in a few minutes.

How could they not have a clothes hanger behind the _fudging scene_? Looking around, the redhead only saw the other two teams, strolling around like peacocks, a couple of occupied couches and a few girls from Eckhart having their frilly clothes fitted. Was that velvet? It was pretty.

And talking about that... He tilted his head out of the mass on blazers in his arms and gazed at the one taking care of said clothes. _They brought a designer with them?! What is wrong with the world?_ However, at a closer look, the one who was carefully pinning the colourful ruffles with ball-point needles proved to be no older than him or the others.

One dress done, that short-haired girl got up and glanced for the briefest second at him or through him. Either ways, he felt the need to look away. Bad choice, he drowned in material and, to add to that, had missed the double take of the girl at the same time.

“Need a hand?” The voice was unknown, but sounded safe, so he looked at its source, finding a pair of dark brown eyes.

“U-Um...”

Tongue tied, he simply balanced the blazers some more until the girl took half of them in her arms and made him follow her to a hidden place behind some ceiling-high panels. Drama club? Well, they _were_ in a school.

“T-thanks...” he managed to get out when he had his hands free, having dumped the clothes in an old armchair. “Ah!” his eyes widened once they reached her face. Designer girl, designer girl, abort, abort. Why was she still standing there? Why was she smiling? Why did she help him? “Why...,” he gulped, their eyes still locked, “do you look like Corey Mulligan?”

She laughed. That was good, right? It was good when a girl laughed, right? He was so dead. Still staring at her, he clenched and unclenched his hands, a thin layer of cold sweat present on them. Couldn’t she see he hasn’t talked with a girl in God knew how many years? He was a geek for a reason. _Oh, God and she’s pretty..._

She extended a hand, oblivious. “November, nice to meet you,” she grinned.

“March...MILES!” he grabbed it without thinking and was surprised at the force with which she shook it while still chuckling.

“Here for help too?” she released his hand and put hers in the pockets of her black shorts. No, he was definitely not going to lower his eyes. He was just going to stare at her face and...bowtie until she left. No harm done for Miles that way.

“Y-yeah, kind of,” he rubbed the back of his neck. At least she was shorter than him.

 _There! She did it again._ That smile... “Me too, just in case. I made the costumes,” she tilted her head towards her colleagues.

“Really?” he goggled from her to the glee club and only now saw how detailed they were. “That’s...amazing.”

“Thank you,” her eyes wrinkled when she grinned. When did he start being so observant?! “I guess it’s a pretty useful hobby. What do you like to do?”

“What?” he blinked one too many times.

“I’m just curious,” she shrugged rocking on her feet.

 _Bad question_ , was the only thing he could hear in his mind. “Not much...reading, playing?”

She took a long gulp of air in her lungs. “Reading’s exhausting! I like it! Where do you like to read? Attic? Library? Classroom?”

Why was she so excited? It was only him, after all. Something in the Universe was wrong that day, Miles thought. “Um...my room, mostly. It’s more quiet.”

“Our school has a HUGE library in which I think I found a few secret passages,” she grinned. “But, you know, it’s mostly like _Silence in the Library_ ,” her eyes twinkled at his acknowledgement.

“OhmyGod,” escaped him maybe a little too quickly and she giggled before rearranging her dark-green and white bowtie.

“Bowties are cool.”

“Oh, my God.” He actually put his hand over his mouth this time and stared for a long time at her, his blue eyes seemingly getting lighter. Then, a waving hand caught his attention. “Shit! Ah...sorry. I gotta go,” he waved clumsily and hurried towards his colleagues, listing in his head all the reasons why the former meeting didn’t, in fact, take place.

o0o0o

“Jeff.”

 _Come on, it’s only three people between us._ The presenter had chosen to make his speech, not at the beginning of the competition, but now, exactly before their first number. They were a little cramped too, waiting to get up on stage, but this was the only song all of them were going to perform together. After a few years in which they had trouble directing their constantly growing numbers of people, they had finally got to the point when they only rarely sent more than twelve people on stage. Quality over quantity.

“Jeff!” he raised his voice once the applause began and the blond finally looked at him. _Oh, wait..._ “Glasses?” he blinked, only now realising that his friend missed them.

“Contacts,” Jeff mouthed, grinning, then clasped his hands together. Right, there was the danger of them breaking up there, taking into consideration their choreography.

“Good luck,” Nick smiled right before they were called. Without sparing any other word, the blond winked and hurried to his place on the stage, behind the drop curtain.

 _What’s with all these people?_ Nick blinked when the curtain was raised. There were undoubtedly a lot more than the year before. Who knew? Maybe glee clubs were getting popular again. The Warblers stood behind, starting the song without moving. From the corners of his eyes, Nick could see Thad and Aaron staying on opposite endings of the stage, hidden from view. Any minute now. _Go._

“ _What I want you’ve got and it might be hard to handle_ ,” Aaron strolled on the stage, getting quite a few acknowledging claps (one ought to have that after being lead singer for close to three years). “ _Like the flame that burns the candle; the candle feeds the flame._ ”

As he was in a constant wonder at how easy it suddenly was for him to respect each step, Nick could see the others moving, perfectly synchronized with each other. _Thank God._ Yeah, because else ways Wes was going to kill them with all the spoons he could find in the hotel’s cafeteria.

“What I’ve got’s full stock of thoughts and dreams that scatter. You pull them all together and how I can’t explain,” Thad got on the stage too, fully focused despite all his earlier complaints (which they were sure had settled a record in their club’s activity), and joined Aaron at the lead while the rest of them continued the dance and singing.

“ _Well, well you_ ,” Aaron twirled once (what was with lead singers and twirling), “ _You make my dreams come true!_ ” Well, at least he was good. _Very good_ , Nick corrected himself. There was no use in denying it.

“ _Well, well, well you_ ,” Thad, for one of his first performances as a main singer, was doing extremely well and the energy he was producing was strangely catching to the public. “ _You make my dreams come true!_ ”

o0o0o

Fifteen minutes later, they were back where they began. Even the pauses were longer now: they still had 10 minutes to go until it was their turn. The second and last song of the day followed and it wasn’t such a pleasure for all of them.

“Man, listen,” Miles sat down near Jeff on a low, gym bench and flailed incessantly.

“Can’t, Miles,” his friend muttered, looking straight ahead with serious eyes and holding his breath without the other knowing.

The ginger shook his head. “No, you have to listen...there’s this girl– Oh, God, can you even believe I’m saying something that starts with ‘there’s this girl’?! So, earlier–...Jeff, are you okay?”

Still not moving, the blond shook his head, a tint of pink reaching his cheeks.

“Should...Should I get Nick?” Miles looked panicky around and then Jeff jumped, looking with big, fearful eyes at him.

“Why should you get Ni– _hic_ ,” he covered his mouth with both hands and hid his face in his knees.

The other’s hand however over his friend’s back, uncertain of what was exactly happening. However, than only lasted until Jeff’s body shuddered with another small ‘hic’ and he laughed, causing him to raise his head again.

“’S not funny,” he managed to say before stifling another one and closing his eyes. When he opened them again, his friend was already gone and he groaned. Oh, well, tried to, until another of those bastards was caught in the way. _Hic._

“Jeff?”

He cracked an eye open at that voice, leaning back on the wall behind him. Miles had been clever not to come back with Nick. Or not. Didn’t he say something about a girl just before?

Jeff simply gestured at his figure before shuddering again. Despite his pleading look, Nick really couldn’t suppress his smile as he drew closer, examining his friend’s face. He knew what the problem was: a few more minutes until their performance meant a few more minutes until Jeff had to sing. This had to be dealt with very quickly.

“Hiccups?” Nick asked and Jeff whined hopelessly. _Hic._ “Well, let’s see. Have you held your breath?” Jeff nodded. “Drank water?” Same. “Drank water _while_ holding your breath?” the brunet was growing more and more amused and his friend narrowed his eyes menacingly. _Hic._

“Nick...soon,” Jeff stared with frightened eyes at the stage door.

 _Hic._ Okay, he had to be sombre for a few moments. “If only we could find some sugar around here...Stick out your tongue,” he suddenly commanded and Jeff stared at his with wide, glasses-free eyes, nevertheless conforming.

He stayed like that more than a minute without it having any effect. What was this, anyway? He hadn’t had hiccups since forever. Why now? Why him? Why wasn’t it stopping? Pulling his tongue back, he groaned again, hitting the floor with his feet. _Oh._ Nick was there. _Don’t act like a 3-year-old, Jeff._

“Inhale and release your breath reaaaally slowly,” Nick crouched in front of him, looking calmly at his face. Well, at least one of them was calm now. It didn’t work, however. “Okay,” the brunet got up again and came closer. “Close your eyes.” _Hic._

 _Fair enough._ Jeff did and waited a few seconds before undapper thoughts hit his mind. _Oh, God, please tell me it’s not a shock therapy_. He could only think of one thing and the fact that Nick now touched his face didn’t help _at all_. But then he felt pressure against his eyelids and relaxed. Unless Nick had some bizarre way of kissing, he was safe. _You did NOT just think that._

“White specs?” the brunet asked, still pressing with two fingers against his eyes. The other nodded and the pressure was lifted. “Open your eyes, but wait a little...” As soon as Jeff opened his eyes and blinked rapidly, Nick’s face grew a little paler. “Oh, God, please tell me you weren’t still wearing contacts and I just...are you okay?” he spluttered very fast, taking a place on the bench, at his left.

“No, it’s...it’s good. I took them out, they were uncomfortable,” he blinked some more and then looked around. “Is there still time?” Nick only smiled. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s stopped, that’s all,” a grin spread across his face and then it hit Jeff too. “But no, we’ve ran out of time. Let’s go,” he grabbed his sleeve and made their way to the stage.


	13. Fish n' Chips

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nice meeting you, Charlie. Good bye, Charlie.

Wes was just getting out of the shower, hair dripping wet and dressed in a white bath robe when a sudden, high-pitched laughter resounded from the hallway and made the rest of the boys in the room with him look questioningly at the door. He only dried his hair a little with a towel, not even dreaming of finding a place in the already crowded room. The administrators had managed to squeeze in four double beds – thank God it was an apartment-designed hotel, so they had the kitchen too – but that didn’t mean everybody was going to lie down and not move until morning.

“What’s going on?” David got off the bed and opened the door, looking at the girls on the other side, both from Eckhart and McKinley, he recognised.

“The cinema room on this floor is empty. We’re gonna hang out; you guys are free to join,” one of them grinned before they disappeared behind a door at the other end of the corridor.

“Heard that?!” David turned in place after closing the door. “Wesley, dry yourself up, you need a new girlfriend after the last one! Thad, you’re gonna kill them after your performance today! Nick, come anyway, girls are fun too! All of you, stop hanging around like starfish, get up! I’m gonna inform the others too,” he evaporated, leaving his colleagues wide eyed and not quite sure of what to do.

Meanwhile, the Warblers’ second room was a little livelier – less seniors, maybe – and somewhat a little less crowded, as its occupants didn’t just collapse on every flat surface the moment they got inside. Aaron was sprawled on a bed, head hanging over the edge as he texted while sucking on a yellow lollipop. A few freshmen – Sam, the one who always dealt with their technical difficulties back at school, in the auditorium or anywhere else, Mark, the one who had transferred from California and to this day never complained and Gary, Dalton’s full-blood Irish – were looking over the balcony when David entered the room. At the sound of his voice, Jeff rose from the safe spot he had found on the floor and pushed a reading Miles to the side of the bed so he could sit down too.

“You’re sure it’s safe to hang out with the enemy like this?” Trent asked as he popped out of the bathroom – the other one was too busy for his like.

“Yeah, like...what if they’ll poison us?” Gary shook his platinum blonde hair as he came back in the room. Strong wind outside.

David rolled his eyes and pushed someone out of an armchair before sitting down. The other fell with an empty _thump_ and glared mockingly at him. “There will be no damage done for the competition. Only Nick is left to sing and he can do it alone on that stage and still win,” he grinned at the hope that engulfed some of their faces. “Let’s go. Exams are coming so this may be your last chance to see any girls for a while.”

“Do you think...” Jeff nudged Miles when the senior was gone, but the other didn’t raise his eyes from his book.

“I don’t think,” he muttered, making the other grin.

“But you’re going,” the blond simply stated, winning a groan from his best friend. “Come on.”

o0o0o

“Well, _I_ say Broadway is a perfectly acceptable aspiration in life,” the girl leaned over the couch, lost for the rest of the world, except her talking partner, who seemed just as focused.

“Have you ever actually _seen_ it? You haven’t even been to New York yet, how could you know if that’s what you want?” the boy fought back, gesturing with his hands.

“Just because you’re okay with being an accountant your whole life doesn’t mean everyone is. I _know_ I’m better than that,” she brought on her theatricals.

“Who said I wanted to be an accountant?! I was only saying-”

“And here they go again...” from a safe distance, Trent sighed, his elbow on a table and looking at Wes and Rachel’s argue.

“Young love, what can you do?” Thad grinned and shifted his eyes to the other target. “You think we should give him any helpful suggestions for tomorrow?”

The other sighed, sipping a little more from his drink. “That girl seems to be maintaining the conversation pretty well for now.”

“Can you help him get her number?” Jeff startled both of them and grinned before going back to watching his best friend. “I mean...I think that would help him.”

“Sure,” Thad smirked in their direction before turning his eyes towards his conversational partners. “Nothing for you, Jeff? There are lots of nice people around here,” both he and Trent smiled, but the blond only ducked his head.

“N-no, I’m...”

“You’re...?” the two goggled at him, but he was quickly gone. “Well then,” Trent blinked, “we should make him a list,” he gestured towards Miles and his bow tie girl.

o0o0o

They had been too tired to stay up until late the night before. Back in their rooms, these had been cramped, but nothing worse than they’ve encountered at David’s holiday home last winter. Thankfully, they had had enough time to sleep in afterwards, since there were only three musical numbers and a small party afterwards planned for the day. And then they had to go home or back to their dorms and be ready for classes in the morning. They have had, after all, a 4-day weekend to finish all their work.

On one part of the space behind the stage, Trent, Thad and David (somehow, he had found out, obviously) were rigorously instructing Miles into the arts of love and seduction and things neither Nick nor Jeff wanted to hear about at the moment. This being known, they had found a secure place where the possibility of someone disturbing them was the smallest. It had better be, since they were currently encountering a bad episode of stage frightened Nick.

“Lyrics...lyrics. Why don’t I have lyrics?” the brunet started biting his nails, pacing nervously.

“You know the lyrics, Nick. I heard you,” Jeff watched him helplessly, trying to come up with at least one method of getting over the situation. _Right..._

“You heard the others yesterday. There’s no way we’re gonna win if I’m our last chance. We’re doomed, Jeff,” he finally ran his hands trough his hair, making it stick in every direction and getting a cry from Jeff, who immediately flattened it back. “I just...I should’ve slept more.”

“Yeah...” Jeff arranged his bangs quickly, slightly proud of himself at seeing that he wasn’t freaking out as much about the action as he had expected. “You can do it, Nick. Less than four minutes.”

Instead of contradicting him again, Nick only turned his back, feeling his legs tremble slightly and his chest hurt, almost blocking the oxygen from going in. He hadn’t even gone to see Cade before the competition began, although he knew he was already there. No, his friend wasn’t a good person to be around if he was nervous. The others’ song was ending, he had to get a grip soon, _very_ soon.

“Um...Nick?” When he turned, Jeff was leaning back on a pole, looking from him to the floor and back up. His eyes widened a little in fear of something bad. Well, false alarm. “Would a hug help?” the blond tried to smile, moving his arms uncertainly.

 _Nick, why is your heart doing that?_ He swallowed. _You’re just going to pretend you don’t know why, aren’t you?_ Oh, for Pete’s sake! Of course he knew why he could feel his heart almost busting out of his chest. War inside, but on the surface, he just nodded, getting closer and wrapping his hands around his friend before the other had the chance to.

 _Well, um..._ He buried his face warily in Jeff’s shoulder, unthinkingly holding him tighter. _I probably shouldn’t..._ , he considered for a moment, but it all washed away when he felt Jeff’s heart beat _really_ fast against his chest. Raising his head only a little, he blinked at the chill air around them. The realisation was only not hitting him. _Well, I should have expected it wasn’t only platonic_. Yes, he shouldn’t have been surprised by this, but it was still hard to imagine that he alone could make someone’s heart beat that fast.

“Better?” the blond muttered in his hair and, for fear that he was going to let go, Nick tightened his grip again.

 _Um...I should let him go, however_ , he thought, before another thought hit his head. _Oh, wait. I have to go._ Strange, the scene presented itself calmer than the place he was in now. _Ok, now nod_. “Much better,” letting go slowly, their eyes met, something strange and somewhat scary in both their looks. “Thank you.”

o0o0o

He was balancing his weight on one leg as he stood on the second step to the stage and holding onto the wood panel. The assigned Warblers were already in their places up there, Mark and Trent backing Nick as he proceeded to the front.

“Jeff?” he heard Thad whisper somewhere behind him. Maybe the leftover curtain was hiding him from view.

“Over here,” he hushed back at him and the brunet nodded. _Good luck_ , he adjusted his glasses before looking back at the stage.

Then the lights dimmed and Jeff only caught a glimpse of an unsure Nick taking in a deep breath before the same boy became remarkably confident for the public’s eyes. _Ready to win them over_ , Jeff smiled to himself, leaning his cheek on the cold wood as he watched.

And soon after the curtain lifted, the music started, Warblers as well as instruments. It created quite an atmosphere and the public (and the judges, hopefully) were quickly drawn in, all eyes on the performers in front of them. Jeff heard a little ruckus behind and, turning over for a couple of seconds, he saw it was nothing to be worried about. Just McKinley, hurrying to see the performance after they ended up in a ‘small’ fight after their last number.

He got his gaze back on his colleagues just in time to see Nick starting the vocals. That wasn’t the time to scold himself for staring a little too eagerly at his friend’s gesture of licking his lips, so (this time only) he was going to let it pass.

“ _This town is colder now, I think it’s sick of us; It’s time to make our move, I’m shaking off the dust; I’ve got my heart set on anywhere but here. I’m staring down myself, counting up the years_.”

Nick started the song with a clear voice, without any choreography, counting only on his voice for this one performance. No wonder he had stage fright before. Out the corner of his eye, Jeff saw the New Directions finally get in silence to the front seats, taking in everything they could of their competition now. Not that it mattered; their number was already done.

“ _Steady hands just take the wheel. Every glance is killing me_ ,” the brunet’s voice sent unexpected shivers down his spine, making him gasp a little, but he still saw the figure at the other end of the stage, in the same position as him. “ _Time to make one last appeal for the life I lead_.”

 _Who?_ He squinted – lucky thing, he had his glasses this day. White dress. _Oh, her? I hope it’s safe_. One could only hope for safety at the sight of Rachel Berry, after all. And she had a look in her eyes as she, too, looked at Nick. Then both onlookers dropped their eyes and they met, staring at each other across the stage. _Weird_.

“ _Stop and stare, I think I’m moving but I go nowhere_ ,” Nick raised his voice a little and a wave of enthusiasm blocked the blond’s throat from taking in any more air. “ _Yeah, I know that everyone gets scared, but I’ve become what I can’t be, ooh-_ ”

His other colleagues were silently cheering, grinning from ear to ear as the song sounded way better than during rehearsals – never underestimate the power of enough stress. Jeff spared Rachel another look, almost questioning her thoughts on the performance, but her face was serious and focused on the singer right now.

“ _Stop and stare. You start to wonder why you’re here, not there and you’d give anything to get what’s fair_ ,” something clicked both in Jeff’s mind and body as the song continued, Nick getting even more into it with every verse. No, he was not going to admit it. “ _But fair ain’t what you really need. Oh, can you see what I see?_ ” _Why this song? It’s completely unrelated!_ The blond defended himself, but he knew the lyrics weren’t important here. Nick just sounded so...so... _hot_.

 _Damn. You._ He glared at the rest of his body, ready to sentence it to house arrest for letting its hormones take over his mind. Why was he constantly making his little life harder? _Why_ , actually? It hadn’t been that easy even when he wasn’t so attracted to the...physical department. _Oh, God_ , he took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes.

o0o0o

“And the winner is...”

 _Why are they adding suspense now? It’s not like they’re gonna get more donations for it or something._ Nick glared at the presenter from his place on the stage. At their left, New Directions were anxious for the results too. At their right, the Eckhart students were looking almost exhausted, the third place trophy in their arms.

“New Directions!”

The presenter raised his voice and the smallest group of the three jumped on its place and then on the presenter, grabbing the trophy between some clapping and congratulations. Then came their turn as the winners turned to them and they shook hands and eventually hugged. Some of them were already making fun of Wes’ pitiful clap on Rachel’s back, but the room was too noisy even for that.

“We’ve had our share last year,” Wes sighed as they descended the stairs towards the public, ready to go to the after-party. “I trust you’ll do your best when we’re gone,” he patted Nick’s shoulder and gestured to him, David, Trent and Thad.

“We’ll try,” Nick smiled, wanting nothing more than to go back to the hotel and change. The heating in that building was horrendous! He thanked the Lord they were close.

o0o0o

“Where is Jeff?” Cade asked once he and Jane finally reached a freshly changed Nick at the door and bombarded him with questions about what was going on around there.

“Um...I don’t know,” the brunet looked around, then back at them. “He wasn’t at the hotel when I left, maybe he got there in the meantime. How long are you staying?”

“Well, we thought...,” his friend looked at the girl, “until you guys are leaving too? It’s not like we have better things to do.”

Jane blinked. “I’ll go...there,” he pointed at the McKinley group. “I’m a double agent, after all,” she grinned and left off.

The hall was pretty crowded at the moment, with all the guests and spectators eating and the glee clubs talking and strolling around, finally done with the stress. It was early in the evening, but the sun was already more or less gone, from what Nick could see through the windows at his right. They weren’t going to stay for more than a couple of hours there.

“It was really good,” Cade threw his arm over his shoulders, startling him. “The song, Nick. You killed it. I heard Jane saying that after that some of the McKinley kids were glowering ferociously at you.”

“That’s not really reassuring...” the brunet faked a laugh and scanned the crowd for any death threats.

Oh, there was one.

“Niiiick!” Thad came running towards him and stopped by bumping into his chest. “Music. In our bus. We have to make these guys dance,” he leant in closer, suspiciously, “and by guys I mean Wes and his little girl-hobbit. I can’t take in another two months with him being so uptight.”

“Um...,” Nick raised his eyes to Cade, who only shrugged, freeing his shoulders. “Okay. We’ve got to move fast, it’s freezing outside.”

o0o0o

“How old is that?” a tuft of white-blond hair rose from behind the bed and grey eyes looked from him to his Nintendo.

“Old enough. It’s still working, though,” Jeff answered and continued his level as Gary sat on the bed near him now.

Better in the room, sitting comfortably on the bed than down there, in the crowded chaos. There were smaller chances that Miles was going to hide behind him and do nothing all evening like this. So Jeff was currently taking a break.

“Not going back?” Gary let himself fall on his back on the mattress, glancing from time to time at the other’s game.

“Not really,” Jeff adjusted his glasses quickly and started the next level. “You?”

The foreigner yawned. “I’ll just take a nap. Have fun,” he turned his back to him and soon enough his breath evened.

o0o0o

He was right. Outside it was, indeed, cold. He just hoped Thad hadn’t forgotten the bus keys. Their driver was inside the school too by now.

“Hey.”

They turned. In the rasp evening air and the dim light they could see the silhouette of someone who was leant on the building they’d just left behind. The stranger let out a full puff of smoke before raising the cigarette to his mouth again.

“Yes?” Thad asked when Nick was too slow to react.

The one near the wall moved closer, the wind disturbing his dishevelled hazelnut hair even more and looked at them with unexpectedly kind eyes. He exhaled again before speaking, evidently fighting some sort of anxiety.

“Is Aaron there?” the boy gestured to the building and they nodded. Chewing a thought in his mind, he raised the cigarette again and his lips trembled for a moment. “C-can you get him for me?” and he added a quiet ‘please’.

This time, Thad was the slow one, so Nick patted him swiftly on the back before glancing at the unknown person. “Sure. We’ll go find him,” he pushed his friend back inside, ready to hear his conspiracy theories as soon as they were out of reach.

o0o0o

“I like apples,” the brunette bit thoughtfully on a green one and looked outside the window. “Here, it’s good,” she passed it to the ginger who reluctantly seated himself next to her, following her gaze to the stars.

“Yogurt,” he whispered before biting on the green apple too.

The girl smiled. “Yogurt’s my favourite.” Their shoulders touched. _Strange_.

Miles swallowed. “Just stuff with bits in it.”

This was yet again going too well. She was a girl; there was no way she was going to make the conversation go that well for him for much longer. Because yeah, this was a conversation; one of the highest quality, even.

After another moment, November turned his head to him, this time her eyes protected by a pair of white-rimmed glasses. “Do you think they have fish custard around here?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle then, passing back her apple. “I don’t think so.”

“We should try some one day,” she swung in her seat, eyes towards the ceiling, then grinned at him.

“Already did. They were...acceptable,” the boy played with his fingers.

“Me too, but it’s more fun together.” Before he could think of anything more to say, thin fingers started going upwards from the back of his neck, running loosely through his hair. “It’s so much and so soft,” the girl’s eyes widened, oblivious to his deep red blush.

He had to struggle in order to swallow his shock. “It-it’s ginger. At least.”

Then she laughed, drawing her hand back. “That’s true. Lucky!” she punched his shoulder lightly.

o0o0o

“But what did he say?!” Aaron inquired again, no longer complaining about Thad’s pushing.

Nick calmed his dark-haired colleague before approaching the other. “I don’t know, but he was looking for you and he...” the blond eyed his strangely. “A-anyway! Just go, how can it hurt you?” _That boy looked lost_ , he said to himself as the singer opened the door and stepped outside.

Someone’s heart raced.

He was just lighting another cigarette with cold hands when he heard the school’s door open behind him and the light from inside flooded his face. He dropped the smoking butt and stepped on it for good measure.

“Um...yeah?” the blond searched the now-darker yard. It took him a few moments of staring until he understood. “Oh...” he came closer to the stranger. That was unexpected.

“Hey,” the other breathed, hiding his hands deep in his pockets. “You called me,” he said while looking at the pavement involuntarily and only briefly at the blond.

“No, I didn’t,” Aaron quickly defended himself, holding the blazer closer to his body. The wind was getting colder by the minute.

This made the shorter teen smile weakly, a glint of golden visible in his eyes as he raised them. “Yes, you did. I still have your number,” he left no room for discussion.

Taking a deeper breath, the Warbler narrowed his eyes at him. The other smirked. “You didn’t respond,” he finally said when he didn’t seem to be able to intimidate him.

“I was in a mandatory counselling group for all the new students. Hammond policy.”

“How’s it there?” Aaron voiced out a little more coldly.

The other shrugged. “Pretty good. Boys and girls in uniform,” he glanced at the blond. “Almost as good-looking as yours.” The other raised an eyebrow. “The uniforms, of course,” he grinned, winning a smile from the singer too.

“Are you okay, Chaz?”

“Can I smoke?”

“...Sure.”

Charlie retrieved his cigarette from the ground and dusted it lightly before lighting it back. He took a long enough puff to engulf them both in smoke afterwards. A temporary mask, until the wind brushed it away. The boy shivered, feeling his light brown hair being thrown into his eyes.

“It’s warmer inside,” Aaron said matter-of-factly. He knew it was useless, but at least he was saying something.

As expected, Charlie shook his head and took another smoke, letting him catch a glimpse of pale lips. He waited.

“The thing’s over already,” the singer gestured to the school behind them.

The other nodded. “I know.” Smoke. Cold. Trembling hands. His fingers were still warm, at least.

“Do you want to go to my place?” Aaron moved to see his face before tilting his head towards the car park. “I left my car here so I could go right home after the thing was over. My apartment’s closer here.”

When he turned his eyes to the other again, he almost smiled at the fake indifference on his face. His eyes were saying something totally different. What am I throwing myself into? Again. He wondered, getting the keys out of his pocket.

“Your things?” Charlie’s voice quavered the slightest bit.

The doors of a car clicked and the brown-haired teen raised his eyes to the familiar black Cadillac. “Stay in the car and I’ll be right back with my...belongings,” the blond opened the passenger’s door for him and waited until he was safe inside. “Be right back,” he passed him the keys.

o0o0o

“Boooring!” Jeff threw his hands in the air and closed his eyes, his head leaning over the edge of the bed. He was already tired of the games he had with him and Gary was still soundly asleep, but he couldn’t bring himself to go downstairs. No, he was already in the state before sleep crept in.

He stood like that for quite some time, drifting in and out of uneventful dreams until he felt somebody push the hair off his forehead. Blessed be the haziness, he didn’t react at first, but only enjoyed the touch, especially when fingers started going gently through the rest of his hair.

“Nick...?” he didn’t really know if he actually voiced that out or it was just in his head, but there was a pause in the movement. _Oh, well, that settles it._ He was just about to open his eyes when the caressing went on as if nothing had happened. But he was a little more awake now.

Someone cleared his throat. “Yeah...”

A second later, brown eyes opened and Jeff looked at an upside-down Nick. Oh, well, he was the one upside-down in fact, but what did it matter? Nick was stroking his hair and okay, he let that pass as a blushing matter.

“Hi,” Jeff whispered, still gazing into the other’s eyes.

“Hi...,” Nick moved his hand again unawarely, reaching the nape of his neck and feeling the slight shiver that the motion had induced. “Did I wake you?” he bit his lip afterwards, absent-mindedly twirling a few of Jeff’s blond locks between his fingers.

“I wasn’t really sleeping... Is it done?” _Remember how to breathe, Jeff._

“Almost. Not really. They can’t be too long, though.”

“Guess so...”

He swallowed and held his breath when it seemed that Nick had leant in the slightest bit closer. And then a little more. Closer. _So close_ , he closed his eyes almost entirely, but opened them instantly when the sleeping figure of the forgotten freshman shifted beside him. He was just going to back out when Nick kissed his cheek. _Again._

 _Deep breath_ , Jeff commanded himself before rising from the bed and making some room for the brunet too. _Think about something, say something, say something_ , he stared at nothing for some time, suppressing the groans his mind was sending at his brain. Severe drop in the IQ, it seemed. _Well, payback_ , he turned and kissed Nick’s cheek in return, biting his lips afterwards at the sensation it left on them.

o0o0o

“Take-away was fine...” Charlie leaned on his elbows on the counter, looking at the blond who was currently grating cheese over some greenish hotchpotch. The pasta was boiling nearby and, thankfully, the room was warm enough to be comfortable.

“I thought you liked eating healthy,” Aaron replied, stirring lightly before turning around and looking over Charlie’s head.

“What?” the other asked as he came closer, raising his eyes to his face. Then, saucepan in the head.

“Gotta prepare the sauce,” the blond explained while his guest rubbed his head.

Collapsing in a chair, the brown-haired teen grumbled while glaring at his back. “Fuck your sauce.”

o0o0o

A couple of drinks did wonders to the girl’s tone, some people around her had observed. They asked themselves if it was going to change once she would find out there was no alcohol in what she was drinking.

“Rachel,” one tall specimen from McKinley approached them a couple of times, but was shooed with every occasion with one of the girl’s speeches of having to get over their failed relationship.

This time, she only needed not to turn her head in order to set him off, back to their group. “As I was saying, my dads aren’t thrilled about me leaving home after I finish high school, but they get it and won’t stand in my pathway to fame. I just wonder how low will I have to start once I get there...”

“Can they support you?” Wes raised his glass to his mouth, still keeping his eyes on her. “The rent in New York is pretty expensive.”

“I plan on moving in with a friend, but we’ll both have to find a place in order to do so. That means more trips to and fro...” she frowned at the table and then looked at him again.

“I can look,” he voiced out, making her raise her eyebrow in wonder. “I’m actually moving there next year, so I guess it’ll be easier for me to ask around.”

“Wait,” she put her glass on the table. “You’re _moving_ to New York? What took you so long to say that?”

He grinned. “I thought I mentioned it. College, you know?”

A spark of newly-founded respect appeared in her eyes as she leant a little more over the table.

“They’re doomed,” Thad mumbled in between two bites of appetizers.

“Oh, they’ll love it,” David smirked beside him, being able to finally see his own business, now that his friend was more or less settled.

o0o0o

“Start anytime you like.” There was a faint bluish glow outside the kitchen’s window and he guessed it was close to a full moon.

“I’m already eating,” Charlie looked at him before taking the next forkful of pasta in his mouth.

“I know. I meant talking. Sauce?” he kept the small bowl within the other’s reach, but when he extended his hand, he took it back. “No sauce until you tell me what happened.”

The guest raised an eyebrow at him, light hazel eyes analysing his face. “You’re kidding me.”

“Not a chance,” the singer started his plate too.

“We haven’t talked in three months,” the teen pressed on his every word.

“I’ll listen.”

“Don’t...” Charlie stared hopelessly at him before dropping his gaze. “Don’t do this. I’m not ready,” he played absent-mindedly with his food.

“But I said I’ll listen,” blue eyes bored on his face.

His hazelnut hair bounced when he raised his gaze a little too quickly. “And then what?”

“Then...we’ll take care of it,” the blond pushed the sauce bowl towards him and smiled at the obscene words the other threw mockingly at him.

With the help of some witchcraft done under the table, they postponed the talk until after dinner, in the end. This was one of the few times he found a purpose to the ridiculously big wardrobe his parents had insisted in putting in his bedroom when they decorated his apartment. A large wardrobe meant, in his case, that it had to be filled with clothes and things. Mostly nothings, blankets, spare clothes and so on. He tried not to let himself think that he had missed seeing Charlie wearing his pyjamas, but he was not sure of how much he had succeeded at that.

“This smells nice...,” the boy talked absently as he looked around, legs crossed on the bed. “Can’t smoke now.”

“’Course you can. I’ll air the room in the morning,” the host dropped on the bed too, finally feeling his muscles relax after the busy weekend.

Once he had his approval, Charlie didn’t waste another minute and lighted the butt, grimacing at the pressure his next words were putting on him. “It’s nothing more than you’ve probably heard already. Some were hassling me more often than before and I got tired of not fighting back. But they only hit harder so I had to go. Fascinating.” He blew the smoke with a shuddering breath.

“Is it better now?”

He shrugged and let himself fall on the pillows. “You can say that. I’m okay now.” After a few moments of just gazing at each other, Aaron took the cigarette from him slowly, taking it to his mouth. “I’ll have you on my conscience now,” Charlie smirked, his eyes lingering on his face.

“No, you won’t,” the blond chuckled and, after only one smoke, quashed it in the ashtray and moved closer to him. “There you go,” he smiled at the boy and continued to do so as he leant in, their lips meeting in an almost formal kiss.

“You don’t want to...,” Charlie backed away, his words forming only a statement, not a question.

Aaron grinned and put a hand behind his neck, pulling him closer. “Unfortunately, I do,” he breathed over the other’s lips and they opened slowly, ready for a genuine kiss that came soon after.


	14. Click!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No one has better thought management sessions than Jeff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. I think this marks the beginning of the niff-centered thing.   
> I started losing characters around here.

Hands searched for the alarm clock through the covers. They were sure it had fallen somewhere, since they found nothing on the nightstand. And, gosh, was that sound annoying.

“Found it,” one of the teens mumbled as he shook the clock and raised his head to look for the missing puzzle pieces, fluffy hazelnut hair shining in the morning light. Yes, puzzle pieces – who on Earth has a puzzle as an alarm clock?! Mumbling sleepily, he put the pieces back in the machine and it stopped ringing.

“Thanks,” the other turned in the sheets and pretended to fall asleep again. “How many times is it now?”

“Five?” the one awake rubbed the back of his neck, finally looking at the hour after counting his wake up calls. “It’s 9 o’clock, Ronnie. Are you still going to school?” he flopped back under the blanket, sighing at the warmth beneath.

“Me? No, never intended to,” the blond turned to face him and smiled sleepily. “Morning, Chip.”

“Morning...what have you done to my back? My spine feels broken in twelve pieces,” Charlie winced at the feeling as he tried to stretch without rising up.

The other grabbed his arms gently and pulled him in a half-hug, pretty much just like one would’ve done with a pillow in an attempt to fall asleep again. “Wasn’t my intention. Damn, lay off that smoking, you used to smell nice,” he mumbled in the other’s neck, stifling back a yawn.

“What for?” the shorter teen pushed back a little, groaning at the warm rush of pain. “You’re over it, anyway,” he rubbed his eyes and then looked sideways at Aaron.

The Warbler chuckled to himself. “So over it that we ended up here,” he gestured at the rumbled sheets and at their naked bodies. “Suuure,” he grinned and rolled his eyes, already a little more awake. “Coffee?”

“Yes, please,” Charlie yawned as he hid himself under the blanket again, barely feeling the other’s lips on his cheek through the cotton.

o0o0o

The library was quite empty for study hall, but the air was warm and the atmosphere good, especially now, when someone had finally managed to open the windows in there. The one next to their desk was looking over into Dalton’s main garden, young, green grass covering the earth below and small birds wandering through the tall trees.

“And this goes here, right?” Cade traced a curved line on his physics notebook and looked up at his friend for confirmation. It did not come. “Nick?” The other was twirling his pen between his fingers absent-mindedly as he gazed out the window. “Nicky...,” Cade smirked, expecting a reaction he did not receive. What was this? “Duval!”

At the higher tone, Nick jumped in his seat and stared at his best friend. “Did you say something...?” he smiled innocently at Cade’s frown and turned fully towards him.

“If I wasn’t already used to you daydreaming so much, I’d say you’re in love,” the brown-haired boy turned his notebook so the other could see his equations. Nick’s eyes were slightly hazy. “Or are you?”

“This one is wrong,” Nick pointed at a calculus at the beginning of the exercise and returned to his notebook.

Cade was perplexed. “But how can it be? I tried everything!” he quickly erased that entire part and was just about to proceed doing it again when something blipped in his head. He raised an eyebrow at his friend, who was still oblivious. “You ignored my question.”

It took Nick another two whole lines to reply to his awaiting colleague. “Yep.” That was all.

“Well, gee, thanks, Sherlock, for the confirmation.” He tapped his pencil on the table. Was he just being half-ignored now? Oh, this had to mean something. _No, Cade. Try to be Nick. Try._ “You don’t want to talk about it...” he tried, uncertain if this was something Nick would say.

“No, I don’t,” the brunet scribbled away, not even raising his eyes anymore. _Not yet, at least._

o0o0o

Tuesday afternoon. Curious eyes peered over the mug as hot water was poured inside, tea bag rising to the surface. Jeff realised he had never really watched the colour drain out in swirls out of crumbled tea before. Two teaspoons of brown sugar fell and started to melt when the liquid was stirred carefully. Then, the fingers left the cup’s handle and he watched them go away, leaning his head on the side so his cheek was on the table now. He _totally_ had a thing for hands now.

“Jeff, is milk okay?” Nick turned from the fridge with the named carton and reached the table again.

“Mmm,” he only murmured, eyes trained on the white flow that fell in the two mugs afterwards. “You make tea like an Englishman,” he started, jaw moving over the wooden surface.

“How would you know?” the brunet smiled as he twirled the spoon and passed him the mug.

“I saw my uncle making some once,” he raised his head, taking the object in his hands.

“He’s English?” Nick took a seat across from him and sipped his own tea, smiling contently at the aroma.

“Almost,” Jeff grinned, taking a long, tasty gulp. “Um...you said you were going away during the break?”

“Grandpa invited us to his cottage for the entire two weeks. _Biscuit_ ,” he looked over the large, clean room and went over to the upper drawers, rescuing a pack of sweet crackers. _Oh, tiptoes_ , Jeff bit his tongue to prevent himself from giggling. That was, he allowed himself to say, just too cute.

He cleared his throat as soon as Nick returned to his seat, though. “As I was saying,” the blond stared at Nick’s cookie before taking one for himself. “Is it nice over there?” That meant they were not going to see each other during the break. _But you can still call him, right?_

“It’s in France.”

_Oh, well, damn. I can forget the phone calls now._

His friend seemed to have seen his thoughts. Or maybe, in some weird way, they were just thinking the same thing. “Um...I’ll have my computer with me, so...if you’ll be able to...” _Nick._

“I’ll be at home with Lulu. Mom got herself a holiday after I wouldn’t stop telling her to do so,” he grinned. “So...um, I’ll be online if you’ll want to talk.” _Tea, make this all better,_ he swallowed half of it in one go.

“Of course I’ll want us to talk,” Nick mumbled in his mug, eyes keen on the way Jeff bit his lip to fight a blush. His own heart fastened its pace in its turn. “Say ‘hi’ to your sister for me...even though she doesn’t...know who I am...um, forget that,” he then stumbled over his words and ended up draining his cup. _And here I thought I was in control for a brief moment._

“Oh, she knows,” Jeff smiled a little and Nick blinked at him. “She insists on me describing my day at school when we talk in the evening. I guess I mentioned you around there...a little.”

 _And he’s not even trying...,_ Nick’s thoughts wandered around other ideas now, like how he had never seen anyone smile like Jeff before and just how genuinely beautiful that simple gesture looked. This time, though, he could still hear the rest of the conversation too.

“That’s nice of you,” he grinned and took another cookie, since his tea was gone now.

Jeff did the same, unable to resist the sweetness. It didn’t even have chocolate! “If you want, you can come over sometime,” he immediately started nibbling at it, just to have a reason not to talk for a minute.

“I’d love to,” Nick was now barely audible as a sudden, heavy rain started pounding furiously outside. “Where did that come from?”

“England?” the blond shrugged and they laughed a little while they closed the windows before they could be shattered to pieces. “Oh, about that,” Jeff leant back on the glass, looking at Nick across the room. “I convinced mom to take us to London in the summer.”

The other blinked. _Him and his sister, Nick_ , his brain corrected his already pounding heart. _Ah, right_. “I didn’t think you’d be an Anglophile,” he smiled and locked the window.

“Just a little bit of one,” Jeff grinned and took another cookie. “And it’s too hot around here in the summertime.”

The brunet sighed, falling into his chair again. “You’re right. I spend July at this place too and it’s burning hot then!” he stretched his arm on the table and put his head down, distressed as if there weren’t just 52°F outside.

 _So another month then too_ , Jeff counted and thought of placing his own departure at the same time. At least he wouldn’t miss him that much this way. _Miss_. “Where exactly is it?”

“Somewhere around Versailles. You have to walk an hour or two to find real civilisation,” he got a pity smile from the blond. “But we have a pool. This is how I persuade the others to come with me, usually.” _Oh._ “Oh. Jeff, do you want to come?”

Jeff was, however, screaming so much on the inside and exploding fireworks that he was sure some sparks would get out of his mouth if he dared to open it. This being the situation, he nodded frantically, quickly pushing his glasses back when they attempted to fall.

“You’ll like it...except for the warmth, the landscape is amazing,” Nick couldn’t stop smiling now and in the end he hid his face in his arms. “I haven’t been this excited since I’ve been bought a gramophone. Well, this is better,” he raised his face again, still happy.

“You...have...a gramophone?” he heard Jeff ask and bit his lip, waiting for the eventual laugh. “Nick, stop being so...so...” the blond put his hands on the table and looked helplessly at him, an unreadable expression on his face, still looking for a word.

“So...?” Nick gazed at him, admiring his struggle and hoping it didn’t mean anything bad.

In the end, Jeff gave up and threw his hands back. “Cool...”

“Cool?” the brunet burst into laughter. “Man, I expected something really bad,” he shook his head at the other. “Cool?”

“Hey,” Jeff threw a small bit of a cookie at him, leaning back in his chair. “You know what I mean...” he tried, puppy-eye-begging him to understand.

“I...I don’t, actually,” he tittered, because really, when had that word ever been associated with him? And Jeff already had a peculiar definition of the word, too.

“I do,” Jeff looked away from him and put the whole _biscuit_ in his mouth.

o0o0o

 

One, two, three days had passed of their last week of school before spring break and the Warbler still hadn’t digested all of what had happened at Regionals. Forget the fact that they did not win, that was less important at the moment.

“Wesley had fraternized with the enemy, that’s why we lost,” David narrowed his eyes at his best friend, who, in turn, widened his, almost dropping the history books he was holding. Approaching him in the library now; nice move.

“I told you we must not take the weakest of heart with us. We should have guessed this was going to happen after his first five failed dated with the other girls he met,” Thad blocked the gavel-lord’s path from the other side, mirroring David’s expression.

“Let’s hope that, for his sake, this hadn’t been in vain. Spill the beans, Wesley,” Trent stopped right in front of him and now he was cornered between a bookshelf and his wanna-be friends (and future-murderers, it seemed).

Out of nowhere, though, the prey took out his gavel and threatened them with it. Careful with their own lives, the three took two steps back. One did not simply confront Wes when he had his fateful weapon and confidant with him.

Seeing as he was no longer held hostage, the senior dropped his hand. “We’re talking.” The others cheered, but stopped when they each got a hit on the head with the holy, wooden object. “ _We’re sorry, Wes, we won’t bother you every five minutes from now on_ ,” Wes mimed with a childish voice and looked expectantly at them.

They let out a collective groan. “Sorry, Wes, we’ll stop bothering you now,” they echoed and the other gave them a fake, sweet smile before going back to his business.

o0o0o

Wednesday was usually a movie night when they had less homework, but when Jeff finally returned to his room after running and looking around the library for a book he had wanted to read for months now, he found his roommate quietly sobbing in front of their TV. He peeked over the edge of the screen and the light hit his eyes and glasses hard.

“Um...Miles?” he placed the book on his bed and watched his friend and glistening tears ran down his cheeks.

“H-how can...Jeff, they hadn’t made it! They didn’t get to Paradise Falls together and now she’s....and he’s...oh, God, Jeff! So alone!” he literally started sobbing now and Jeff raised an eyebrow and looked pitifully from him to the screen.

“Miles...you’ve only seen 15 minutes of the entire movie,” he ducked when the redhead threw a crumbled tissue at him and got up on his bed.

“But it’s so s-sad! How can it be so sad?! It’s Disney, for _Castiel’s_ sake!” he grabbed another handful of paper tissues from a box and blew his nose loudly.

Behind him, carefully arranging his pillows for his reading session, Jeff slowly raised his eyes. “A _Supernatural_ reference doesn’t ever mean something good,” he half-whispered, waiting for the explosion.

“It’s j-just so...so sad,” Miles gestured at the screen and got back to watching the movie again, in full-focus.

“Or you’re emotional,” the blond muttered, ignoring the fact that he, too, had cried his eyes out the first two times he had seen it. Well, he had to! The first time, he was at home, last summer and the second, Lulubeth had wanted them to watch it together. Could he say no? Of course not.

After his last words, he did not speak any further, letting his friend slowly compose himself as the story turned somewhat brighter. And balloon-y. Since Sunday, his friend hadn’t spoken more than a couple of words about his new acquaintance, but Jeff knew that they had at least exchanged numbers – if the calls at night were anything to go by.

o0o0o

 “It’s green,” Jeff mended the thermos he had just found in front of him. Anything was more interesting than his maths homework right now and Nick’s desk was so full of stuff.

His friend raised his eyes from his notebook and looked at it. “Yes, it is,” he paused for a moment. “This is so boring,” he sighed, putting his pen down. Last homework before the holiday. Well, this could be called their homework for over the vacation already, seeing as they had only one day left.

So he could do this next week. Now, he just wanted to relax and talk with Jeff while they still could do it in person. Over the past week, in fact, both of them spent more time with the other than normal and Nick couldn’t be happier. This was an amazing way to procrastinate, too.

“You have a lot of these,” Jeff’s fingers played with a few small note papers.

“I doodle when I’m stressed...or bored...or lazy,” Nick placed his head on the blond’s shoulder, content with the sensation their closeness produced.

The other touched his black curls with his cheek. “I thought you listened to music.”

A chuckle. “That goes without saying.” Nick looked slightly upwards. “Do you want your iPod back?” he pointed at the tint of gold at the other end of the desk.

“Have you gotten another one?”

He shook his head. “Not yet. But I will, soon.”

“Give it back after you get a new one, then,” Jeff answered and unconsciously nuzzled a little in his hair. Great, now he _had_ to be blushing again. “This is cute,” he pulled out a small, colourful drawing. “I wanted to be a clown when I was little.”

The other grinned. “Really? I wanted to be a teacher.”

“What do you want now?” he asked, his cheek still being caressed by the other’s hair.

“I have no idea. I want to try so many things...most of them are stupid.”

“They can’t be stupid if you wish for them to happen,” Jeff poked his arm absent-mindedly.

Nick returned the poking, making them both smile. “What about you?”

The blond seemed to think for a moment. “I want to be a scientist and work for NASA. I’ll go to Pluto and show them that it’s still a planet. If not, I’ll just have breakfast there.”

“That sounds a little bit too easy for our future Valedictorian,” the brunet grinned and nestled in his shoulder.

“Yeah...” Jeff answered, too aware of the way his breath hitched and his stomach squirmed.

 _He just needs someone close. It doesn’t mean anything._ But he so wanted to just turn a little to the right and cuddle together. _Can’t do that._ He knew he shouldn’t have taken advantage of this either, but if felt so good having Nick so close to him that he had no choice but to give in to the touch. _But what if..._ and another thought made itself place in his mind again.

It would’ve been totally out of character, but he had to know. “Nick?”

“Yeah?” he felt the brunet’s hot breath reach all the way through his shirt, touching his skin.

Looking at the small clown of the paper, he breathed. “You don’t pity me, right?”

There was a short pause. _Oh, my God._ “For what?” Nick asked, genuinely confused, thank goodness, but did not move to look at him yet.

“For...um,” Jeff swallowed, “...l-liking you.” He ran over his words in his mind. _Not right._ “Wait, it sounded...That didn’t...” now Nick was actually looking at him, having left his spot and yeah, understatement: it was hard to talk. _Damn, brain. Why now?_ “No, s-sorry for bringing that up...again,” he bit his lip and Nick did the same, almost in sync.

“I don’t,” he said softly and took a calming breath, continuing to look at Jeff, whose eyes widened a little in thankfulness. _There’ll hardly be a better moment to say something than now. But what?_

With just a second of hesitation, Nick drew closer and wrapped his arms around his friend, just like they’d done back at Regionals. He felt Jeff relax as he hugged back, both boys burying their face in the other’s neck and shoulder now. Then something really obvious and which finally sounded so very true popped into Nick’s head and filled a blank space. Click.

He held tighter, not fighting his smile anymore. “Hey,” he whispered into the hug. His heart was racing like mad right now. “I like you, Jeffie.”

He breathed out slowly, thanking the Gods for finally showing him the light. It took him another couple of seconds until he became overly aware of the other’s hands on his back, fingertips pressing the slightest bit on his shoulder blades.

No words came, but he was still smiling. “This is important. Keep it safe in mind, okay?”

The blond nodded against his shoulder. Finally, a reaction. “Secret archive.”

He gave a silly laugh. “Not too secret, though,” he finally let him go.

o0o0o

After the door closed, a few minutes later, behind Jeff, Nick fell back on his bed, grabbing his head in his hands and groaning helplessly at the ceiling. A good thing that Lewis wasn’t back just yet. And he hopefully wasn’t going to be too soon.

“I’ll have to say it again,” he sighed.

This was what always happened when he didn’t choose his words well. _I couldn’t just say I’m in love with him!_ He ruffled his hair in an attempt to calm his nerves. _...Could I?_ Jeff had used ‘liked’ too, after all. Maybe using the other statement would’ve scared him off. What is better? Confused or scared?

He played some more with the words in his mouth. _It still sounds weird_. He always expected being in love to be harder for him. Sure, it was hard to come to terms with it after the idea had wondered in his mind for quite some time, but now he was feeling more or less fine. He was tired, but he had expected that and his stomach was doing more back-flips than ever.

Oh, but was he frustrated! He grabbed at his hair again, habitually running his hands up and down. How could he not be? He had just made a confession that, he guessed, was supposed to help Jeff, but the boy had still appeared half-oblivious when they parted.

 _Well, that’s why I’ll have to say it again_ , he huffed and got up when he heard the door click softly.

“Oh, aren’t you a sight,” Lewis grinned as he stepped inside the room.

“What?” Nick narrowed his eyes at him, straightening his shirt, planning to look around for his sleeping clothes.

His roommate grinned like one who knew something he didn’t. He gestured towards him with his hand. “Your face. It looks weird.” He was _so_ very amused.

“Weird how?” Nick’s eyes widened in suppressed horror. Had Jeff also seen him like this? What was _this_ like? He ran to the open bathroom, blue walls flooded suddenly with light. _Huh..._

“Dunno. Just weird...,” Lewis smiled, going over to his bed.

“I don’t see anything different,” the other returned and raised an eyebrow at his roommate. Almost having a heart attack over nothing, he was getting old.

“’Course you don’t,” he laughed to himself and took his laptop on his lap. “No,” he raised a finger to shush Nick up when he wanted to say something more. “Gotta e-mail Emily. Can’t talk now.”

Always. Always dropping a bomb and letting it fizz intermittently. _Well then, now_ , Nick looked around and his eyes landed on his guitar. Maybe he was not going to huddle in bed just yet. A little stress therapy never hurt anyone.

“Don’t lock me out, I’m downstairs,” he said after he grabbed the instrument carefully, waited for a nod and went out the door.

o0o0o

He didn’t remember ever seeing another yellow bathroom in the others’ rooms. True, the ones who refurnished the dorm hadn’t been granted too much freedom on the tapestry or paint in the whole building, so this meant they only had a choice when it came to these little buddies. So they had decided to paint every bathroom another colour. Yellow. He felt like a lemon sorbet once the steam accumulated in the shower cabin. Dumbledore would have been proud.

Talking about steam... “Ah! Hot, hot, hot, hot!” Jeff backed away from the stream of water that had suddenly risen by 100 degrees. Luckily, he found the tap after a little struggle, so he hadn’t been melted to death.

When he finally got out of the almost-killing shower, he fumbled around, looking for a good towel. _Come, Jeff, your eyes aren’t that bad_ , after all, he smiled once he found the item and tied it around his waist skilfully. Oh, he was a master.

 _Now let’s think_ , he commanded as he opened the door, highly aware of the colder air that hit his dripping wet body back in the bedroom. There was no moment more fitted for overthinking than the haze after a hot shower. His hands were busy looking for clothes, so free mind!

 _Am I feeling optimistic or pessimistic now?_ He pouted and sat on the edge of the bed. Water slid from his blond locks down his face and chest. He should have taken a spare towel for his head too. Not so cold anymore.

 _Let’s say he had meant it as a friend, to show that he wasn’t mad at me._ He wrinkled his nose. No, that didn’t make any sense! That went without saying. He wasn’t that oblivious. If Nick had something against him, then they wouldn’t have still spent all that time together.

He turned a mental note over. _Now let’s say he meant it as I did._ He _had_ used his words, after all. _Would he, really...?_ His limbs numbed and they tingled slightly. He hadn’t really expected Nick to ever feel that way about him. He didn’t quite know why; it was just...Nick. Maybe he envisaged the possibility once or twice (just for science, he wasn’t that much of a dreamer, he hoped), but it never interweaved with reality.

 _Let’s say he did_ , and now he wanted nothing more than to go back to Nick’s room and make him explain. _Ugh, that sounded Dalek-ish..._ Seriously now, if that was correct, how could he just leave without more talking? He was sure that some natural laws would have kept him in place. They would have, wouldn’t they?

However, he couldn’t go. He was, of all, a little scared, actually. It had locked him up from the inside. He remembered the hug and Nick’s breath on his neck and shuddered, closing his eyes as a rush of emotion ran through him. _Wait! No, not there!_ His breath hitched and his heart pounded more quickly. This was really _not_ the moment to...

A cold drop of water slid down his spine and warmed on its way into the towel. He remembered the warmth and the hands on his back, hands that seemed to always want to hold him closer and it was so hard to stop his train of thoughts from going ridiculously fast underneath some layers of clothing. _God, dammit_ , he couldn’t believe he was going through this again.

He let out a long sigh and fell back on the bed, slightly aware that his hair was going to dampen the sheets. Now he just had to try, it had _almost_ worked the last time this happened. He just had to ignore it long enough and it was going to pass.

 _Not working,_ he murmured. _Not working_. Instead of calming down, he felt a hot shiver run down his body until it stopped right where he didn’t want it to. He forced his hands to stay still even if his mind went frantic with lots of thoughts he was not very proud of.

After a good time of ignoring the urge physically, he looked up doubtfully, hoping that his teenage mind was only playing tricks on him. Nope, he was definitely hard. _Well, it’s not going to stay like that for the whole eternity. I’ll wait_ , Jeff tried to calm himself down again with that thought, but less than a minute later he heard the door open and he sprinted into the bathroom before Miles could say anything to him. Better suspicious than caught in the act.

The room was still humid when he returned to it and he helplessly turned the shower on again. _Do whatever you like, just don’t think of Nick_ , he ordered himself before leaning back on the yellow-tiled wall under the warm stream and letting his hand finally deal with his problem. _Right, first throw away the towel._

Of course, his thoughts didn’t last on the ‘right’ path even for a minute.


	15. Little ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This, kids, is why it's not good to get close to people. You'll get very bored and very sad when they aren't there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked over the last part of this thing and something came to my mind. "Why be content when you can be happy?"  
> Bless you, fivetail. I didn't even read your fics when I wrote this.

One, two, three, bump. One, two, three, bump and whimper. Something pulled the blue blanket off Jeff’s feet and he sleepily raised his head, rubbing his eyes at the dimly lit room. One, two, bump. He turned with a long whine to the source of the impact and sound and only saw Piper’s small form galloping (like the miniature dog he was) back to the open bedroom door. There, the pup turned his face towards the blond and sprinted forwards, jumping a little too soon and failing to reach the bed’s height.

Jeff squinted at the little creature that was continuing the ritual as if it was merely bad luck that was keeping him on the floor and didn’t even manage to get his glasses when his alarm started ringing. The clock instantly rolled off the bedside table and started to run around the room on its two wheels, making Piper go after it.

Why did he have the alarm set on a Saturday? _Why...Oh! Shit!_ Jeff grabbed his glasses quickly and tossed the blanket away, running over to the dog and the clock. Animal in one hand, silent machinery in the other, he looked around again before starting to put them back on their appointed places: Piper, on the hallway, Speedy-Wheels, beside the bed.

The house was quiet, a sign that his mother was, indeed, gone far away now. It couldn’t have been more than 7 o’clock, though. He looked at the golden puppy that was wagging his tail excitedly near his legs. He even nuzzled in his striped pyjama pants a few times.

“Bathroom?” Jeff asked Piper and he didn’t get any response. _Strange dog_. “Come on, then,” he grabbed it by the belly and took it in his arms, proceeding to the backyard.

He almost tripped over his feet while descending the stairs, but, by the time he’d reached the door to the outside world, both of them were still alive and kicking. With a shiver at the morning air, he put the dog down on the grass and left the door open as he glanced at the rooms upstairs. No sound. Elizabeth was probably still asleep. _She’d better be_ , he looked around, the realisation that he was in charge slowly sinking into his mind. He had to prepare breakfast; first rule.

Or had he? Opening the double fridge, he found it full to the brim with all kinds of things (their mother seriously doubted seeing his children ever again after this holiday). There’s got to be something already prepared!

“Or even better...” he squinted at some labels, then closed the door and made for the other part of the kitchen. “There!” Okay, much better. They had cereals, they could survive this.

Not that Jeff was a bad cook. On the contrary. He just...didn’t trust his tastes enough to let others share his food. Who knew? Maybe he was part alien! Maybe. He had already found fish fingers and custard strangely satisfying. The clock on the tabletop showed almost half past seven. _Early day. I wonder how late..._ , he started a thought, but he was already counting in his mind before he could finish it. Who needed smart-phones when they had a Jeff-brain?

“Around 1 pm,” he continued to mumble as he looked for his phone in his forgotten messenger bag (pure luck that it was there, he really didn’t want to risk going upstairs again and maybe waking up his sister). He counted again. _Yeah, I guess so._ But he already had quite a few new messages.

**From: Nick**

**(4:13 am)** _I still can’t believe they’re up this early._

Jeff raised his eyebrows in wonder. He may have expected a last goodbye before the plane took off, but this was pretty early. The fact that Nick had actually thought about sending him the text when he was evidently tired and sleepy made his stomach do stumbles in the air. Warm.

 **(5:45 am)** _Hopefully, I didn’t wake you up. We’re still waiting. You’d be surprised how many people are already here._

 **(6:20 am)** _Going up! Talk to you in a few hours. Sleep well and good luck :)_

He smiled unconsciously at every word and feeling a sharp bit of guilt at the fact that he hadn’t been awake for one last conversation before the other went away. Not that he was totally over the shame that kept him with his head in the sand in the last day of school, but he figured it would have been nice...

Now, to the other side of the texts. He couldn’t say he hadn’t expected this either. Programming the correct reading voice in his mind, he proceeded to the others.

**From: Mom**

**(6:11 am)** _I hope you set your alarm. Don’t let Lily wander off on her own, okay?_

Did all moms ask their sons the same thing three times, on three different gadgets? Yes, the ear was a gadget in itself. Not a reliable one, as his mother had left very early too, but a gadget nonetheless.

 **(6:12 am)** _Just in case, I’ll call you later. Call the neighbour if you have problems at breakfast. Make sure she doesn’t skip her dancing classes, too! James will pick her up at 5._

Mrs Austin was a kind lady, quite like the grandma’s one would expect to see in Disney movies (he looked a little bit like Aurora’s godmother), half-German, that had previously agreed with his mother to keep an eye on them. He was glad for this, however. They weren’t living in the highest loft of places in town (more like lower upper class, in fact) so their mother had wanted to adapt. They weren’t spending nearly as much money as they could. This concluded in his mother agreeing not to hire a baby sitter.

 **(6:37 am)** _We’ve almost reached the airport, so...Take care, both of you, okay? Call me if you need me to come back early. Love you!_

Like he was ever going to do that. Now he felt like Craig Owens and his sister was Stormageddon, Dark Lord of all. They were going to be okay, why did she seem so distressed? Motherly thing, he guessed. _Can’t be helped._

 **(6:38 am)** _And walk Piper so he won’t jump on the furniture._

_Obviously._

Rustle upstairs. _Right!_ He ran up the stairs after throwing his phone in an armchair. Slowing down at the last couple of steps, he looked around and, just so his sister wouldn’t be startled too early, he went to the window at the opposite end of the hallway and opened it. Spring air here too. He was all sorted out.

“Jeffie...” he heard a small voice mumble and he went over to her gently, smiling lovingly when he saw her rubbing her eyes sleepily, still dragging a _very_ long-eared bunny after her. “Is mommy gone?” she blinked slowly at his kneeling figure before throwing her arms around his neck to be raised from the ground.

“Yep. She’ll come back before you know it,” Jeff blinked a little at the weight – he had forgotten how fast kids seemed to grow – but held her steady, the bunny dangling in her hand over his back. Ok, now stairs. “Hungry?” he asked as he peered through her soft blond hair at the steps in front of him, going slowly.

“Mhm,” Elisabeth mumbled in his shoulder, holding a little tighter. “I want pancakes,” she whispered and her brother took a calming breath. Maybe he was going to talk her out of it. “Can we have some, please?” Maybe not.

“Sure we can,” he sighed and placed her in a chair at the kitchen table (no need to use the dining room just for the two of them). “Pink or yellow?” he then turned away from the sink with two mugs in his hands, smiling at her.

The girl seemed to consider each one for a few moments, keeping her head on the bunny, on the table. “Yellow,” she finally mumbled, still half-asleep.

“Okay then,” Jeff grinned and poured milk in the chosen one.

 _Huh_. He hoped they had enough milk for pancakes. _In all those things in the fridge, there’s got to be._ After putting the mug in the microwave, he got to the thankfully clean table with two plastic bowls and stared questioningly at them.

“Just a moment,” he sighed as he went to get his phone and look for the recipe online. This time, he was going to learn it by heart too.

The milk finished warming and, after pouring a little sugar in it and trying its warmth, Jeff gave it to his sister and returned to his appointed work. It hadn’t taken him as much time as he had expected, surprisingly. By the time he grabbed the last apple and hazelnut pancake from the pan (he took pride in his cooking skills, after all, even if he didn’t trust them. Couldn’t have himself making simple, peasant-worthy pancakes, after all.), it was still before 9 am. Early birds, they were.

“What...,” he cut a piece with his fork, “...do you want to do today?” he raised his eyes towards the young girl across the table.

“Can we watch a movie?” he popped a big chunk of pancake in her mouth and he chuckled at her. Piper started sniffing at his foot. Human food always smelt better than dog food, it seemed.

He swallowed his bite. “’Course we can. We have popcorn,” he pointed at a top shelf, “and we can make pizza later. I think...” he prayed in his mind for a long life.

“So you’re staying here, Jeffie?” Elisabeth’s brown eyes sparkled and his face lighted up at her happiness.

“Yes, I am. Until mommy comes back and after.”

She let out a short squeal before going back to eating her breakfast a lot more joyfully than before.

o0o0o

“Nick, wake up,” his mother shook his shoulder gently and the boy stirred and blinked forcefully at the early evening light. “We’ve landed,” she smiled at his confused expression and he let out an acknowledging sigh.

The air on the airport and before it felt slightly different, but at least they weren’t freezing nor melting. Yeah, this was a good period to visit, it seemed. He grabbed for the third time his luggage from his father as they reached the external car park and looked around for their relatives.

“I think I see them there,” the man pointed at a metallic-brown car along the road and in the next moment the driver waved at them. “Right, let’s go. Nick...” he reached for the suitcase again.

“It’s not heavy, dad,” the brunet sighed and gave his father an understanding smile, hoping it would hit home. He knew the other wanted to show him he was sorry after their last incident and didn’t really know how, but, if anybody were to ask him, he just wanted the whole thing in the past.

Once they’ve reached his uncle’s (he, too, was visiting at this time of the year) car, the drive to the cottage (they liked to call it that, but it was more like a mansion) had been trouble-free and gave him time to take another quick, uncomfortable nap. When the car stopped, his father was the one to wake him up and here they were, almost in the middle of nowhere, in a gigantic garden nobody had used for anything but parking cars in years.

“When I say so...run,” the dark-haired man whispered to his son as they were approaching the mansion. They could only guess the number of relatives that were already there by the feminine shrills and the cars outside.

And really, Nick was still a little uncomfortable with his father being so thoughtful. He felt like he’d done too big a scene back in the Winter Break, now that the consequences were still happening. Still, he nodded.

They were going up the four stairs before the entrance when he felt himself being nudged forwards. He got a better hold of his luggage. “Now,” he heard from behind and, nodding swiftly at his grandfather near the door, he sprinted to the second floor, last door on the left. A good thing they were appointed beforehand.

It smelt like polished wood and warm dust. Kind of like a hotel room, really, but older. A cabin? He couldn’t recall last being in one. Closing the door behind him and putting his suitcase on the floor, in front of a desk, he let himself fall in the already made bed. It smelt like grandparents and he was accustomed to this.

The room was quite small (one of the smallest in the house, to be precise. He’d asked for it.), with its bathroom placed in the far left corner and big windows on two walls. It was placed right on the corner. This way, if he looked at his left, he could see the almost fully-descended sun and, if he looked straight ahead, he saw the darker sky of the evening.

He had a tall, double bed, the kind that he wouldn’t have wished anyone to fall from. There was quite a space underneath. In fact, he could see something already hidden there from where he lay, face planted on the edge. He outstretched his hand, but, the small creature he was, he couldn’t reach the grey, flurry thing, so he had to shift with a whine. Couldn’t he just sleep already?

Finally, he touched it and the thing stirred. Then purred. Then moved. Then meowed. And meowed again. And again, on a higher-pitched tone.

“What the...?” he frowned at the thing and, the next thing he saw, was his grandmother’s Siberian cat looking with blue eyes up at him. And after her came a few smaller, identical heads. “Wait, wait...how many are you?” he got up and circled the bed until he reached the fur-balls. “Five?! Wow, Sasha, you’ve outdone yourself.”

The cat held her head up high, proudly, but the kittens meowed some more and approached his feet, clinging a little at his sneakers. He quickly got the shoes off, realising he still had them on, and sat on the wooden floor, petting each small thing in turn. God, were they soft. _Don’t you dare compare any one of them with Jeff, Nick._ However, he smiled at himself and let that order pass. They were just too cute.

“Gotten comfy, dear?” his door creaked open and, looking over his shoulder, he saw his grandma in a pale-yellow suit, hair already done perfectly and a kind look on her face. “Oh, here they were! Do you have all five of them there?” she got closer and, leaning in, she put a wrinkled hand on his shoulder.

“I think so, yes,” he smiled up at her, still holding one kitten in his arms. “How are you, gran?”

“As far from French as I was last year. Your grandfather thinks we’ve gotten better, but you know him.” She seemed to think of something in particular for a moment. “Shall I tell your cousins you’ve gone to sleep?”

Nick grinned, always thankful for his grandmother’s indulgence. He really didn’t want to see his cousins anytime soon if he could help it. They weren’t...compatible with him. “Yes, please. Thank you.”

“Not a problem, dear,” she gave him a friendly smiled and went back to the door. “I can put their food on the balcony if you want to keep them with you.”

Did he have a balcony? He looked at the wall opposite the door and just then saw the exit. Oh, right. “Yes, please,” he held them closer, feeling them purr.

o0o0o

As soon as he opened the door to his friend’s house, Miles was hit right in the face by a light flour dust in the air and a smell of vanilla. And music. And the unmistakable sound of video games.

“Jeff?” he looked in the living room and found both siblings on the circular, thick rug on the floor, in front of a flat screen, fully focused on the game there. That, until called-blond hit pause and turned towards his friend.

“God, you’re fast. Take a seat. We’re nearly finished,” he returned to the game, Elisabeth smiling cheerfully at his side with her big, black controller in her hands.

“Did you cook?” Miles looked incredulously from him to the plate of vanilla cookies on the coffee table.

Jeff shrugged, his back turned to him and leant over his sister in an attempt to duck the enemy’s magic. “A little. I had to.”

“I still don’t...,” the ginger took a seat on the couch, still doubting this reality. “How did you even manage this for,” he counted on his fingers, “four days now?”

“Six. Mom left early in the morning, Saturday.” He sounded so casual.

“But that’s...” Miles laughed a little. “It’s you. I thought you’d freak out by now.”

Game over. The girl jumped to her feet, excited with her victory before flopping right into Jeff’s arms. “I had a good therapist,” he grinned. “And Lulubeth’s been reaaaaally nice,” he ruffled her blond hair lightly and let her go and grab a cookie.

“Hi,” she grinned at Miles before getting out of the room and up the stairs with a few cookies in her hands.

“...Hi?” he said only after she was gone. His attention returned to his best friend, in the end. “Had any help?”

Jeff raised his eyebrows at him, collecting the controllers from the floor, which was actually pretty clean. Weird. “Not really. Mum set some neighbours to help me, but I told them I’ll be fine. And I got some really good advice of how to put Lulu to sleep too.” Blessed be Nick and his working internet service.

“So, I guess you don’t want me to spend the night,” he grabbed a cookie too and shifted on the couch.

“No, spend the night, I’m lonely,” Jeff answered and turned on the TV, letting the local news disturb the silence for now.

After a few moments of waiting for his friend’s face to crack and start laughing at his own statement, Miles gave up and shrugged. “Okay, then. I’m not too eager to go home yet. Mom’s on her vegan curry spree, from what I’ve heard. Do you have any idea what she puts in there? She doesn’t know the difference between a stew and a garden!”

Piper came rushing into the room, immediately jumping on Jeff’s feet until the blond took him in his arms. “I like your mum’s cooking,” he said absent-mindedly as he caressed the small dog.

Miles gave it a look, but didn’t pick on it. “You eat almost everything besides chocolate.” The other smiled and nuzzled in the golden fur. “Do you think I should invite her out?” Method 42 of talking: changing the subject abruptly.

“November?” Jeff mused and held the puppy closer to his chest, crossing his feet on the couch. “Why not? Is she living nearby?”

His friend did a double take; he hadn’t expected him to remember her name, but then again, this was Jeff. He had loads of space in his brain even though he knew almost everything you asked of him. Well, he had his days too, but still.

“Y-yeah. Somewhat. She’s in Chicago and I could stay a few days at my brother’s so I can meet her once or twice...”

“Where are you staying now, though?” the blond blinked, suddenly remembering the detail.

“I’ve got a distant aunt in Columbus. Thought you’d need help, so I stayed.”

“Thank you.” Really, this was so like Miles. It wasn’t even the first time he’s done something like that. “However, yes, ask her out.” A long pause. “...Why are you staring at me like that?”

Miles blinked and resumed to muttering to himself. “You’re acting different.”

“What?” he actually placed the puppy on the floor after this one. _What? Only a shrug?_ He glared.

“Different. Not better or worse, just different. Must be the...,” he whirled his hands in the air and put them back down, “thing.” Jeff raised an eyebrow. “Heart expansion.”

“Heart-” he stopped himself with a blush and looked away. He hadn’t gotten an e-mail in almost two days. Method 76 of talking: ignore the past few lines.

o0o0o

_Hey,_

_I never understood my roommate’s rules with e-mailing. Have I told you about him? Lewis *only* sends his girlfriend e-mails. They live 2 hours away from each other, for Pete’s sake! Ah…yeah, sorry. I was saying. My webcam is still messing (else I’d have to show you something) and my headphones are, definitely, broken. Dad said he’ll get me new ones tomorrow, when he goes in town. Maybe we’ll talk then :)_

_About the girlfriend thing. That came out wrong. And inappropriate. Sorry. Okay, now judge me. I could just as easily deleted that whole part, I know, but I already tried to start this five times. …Ignore that, please. I make a vow not to delete anything from here on (else I won’t even finish this). Here you have honest me._

This wasn’t going well. Nick cringed. Okay, maybe just a few more lines. He had postponed this long enough.

_How are you? I hope you and Lily are doing well. When did you start calling his sister that, Nick? Sorry. Typical. Damn, this e-mail will probably sound weird to you. *This* is why I don’t send you long texts via phone. This. I’ll just end up talking to myself…or something. Oh, God, why can’t I concentrate? You know, sometimes writing things down is therapeutic, but having all your annoying, narrow-minded, bored cousins next door and a lousy doorknob doesn’t really help. Don’t worry (you’ll worry, right? Cause I’d feel bad to assume you do when you don’t…it’s not like you should or…NICK!), I’m fine. Yeah._

“Come oooon!” he said out loud, messing up his already wild hair and huffing at the screen. Why was this so hard? They were just words on the computer; even easier than paper.

No, this was hopeless.

_I won’t end up sending this, after all, but let’s pretend I will. My aunt and uncle always suggested I started some kind of therapy (see above), so let’s try. Maybe this will help me put things in order._

“So help me God,” he sighed and started his fantasy letter.

_Hello Jeff-that-is-not-really-Jeff-but-let’s-pretend-you-are,_

_How are you? I already asked that._

“Damn,” another groan. He was currently urging himself with the promise of tea. This has got to help, right? He could run ten miles to get a nice cup of tea right now.                            

_...I guess I should. Yeah, okay. (Let’s talk about the weather) The weather here is quite nice, although in the past few days it seemed to rain only on my head (hilarious cousins). The house is full, but nobody stays indoors as much as I seem to do, so it’s quite peaceful up here. Most of the times, at least. I have this owl that sometimes comes outside my window and I started leaving it open. Who knows? Maybe it will bring my Hogwarts letter. *Finally*._

_It’s pretty small, though. It reminds me of Pigwidgeon (did I get it right? I guess, I was – am – that creature’s fan, after all). What am I even saying? Those things that seem to have taken quite a liking to my room – and, hopefully, to me – are scattered all around the floor. I must be really careful. Their fur is so soft. Oh, spoilers._

_Yes, I know that one too. Maybe it’s not...what. Why am I talking like this? Sorry, Jeff. Must be the extra hours of sleep I managed to sneak in my schedule around here. I hope you get enough sleep too. Did the bedtime story tip help? I hope it did. Try ‘The Little Prince’ next time, I think she’ll like it. :)_

“Too well...going too well.” Always count on Nick to sabotage his own plans. _Okay. Going on..._

o0o0o

A little while after the first rays of morning crept into his room, Jeff’s alarm rang and then fell to the floor due to its own vibrations. Well, at least it stopped. Soon after, a blond nest rose from the big, pale-blue pillow it was resting on and made some morning noises. He barely saw the notification on his phone’s screen before ignoring it completely.

Why did his sister have to be such a very early person? Going into the hallway, he met her and they both descended the stairs towards the kitchen. At least they had a schedule, if he could call it that. This time, cereals were good enough, so, after taking a few messy gulps himself, he let her finish and rushed to his room. Now it clicked. He had mail.

Turning on his laptop (his poor gaming PC was still in service after the last war), he didn’t consider sitting down. This, however, changed when he saw the length of his latest e-mail. Pulling the chair slowly for himself while reading the first paragraphs, he narrowed his eyes at the screen, behind his glasses.

He had a strange feeling that he really wasn’t supposed to read it, but why would Nick write such a long thing without giving it to him? Yes, it said he wasn’t going to send it, but here it was. _Maybe he’d changed his mind_ , he pondered.

_Since this is therapy...I guess. I feel like these words are pressing on my brain right now and I need to take them out and I’m too scared to say them out loud for now, but even more scared to write them, even though this is a hypothetical e-mail. Let me try._

_That mirror is a magical thing. I sounded right, so I hope I won’t feel any different right here. I miss you._

Sinking a little more in the chair, Jeff bit his lip, his eyes moving over those three words countless times. He should have eaten more, now he realised. A heart in frenzy so early in the morning couldn’t do him good.

_...Yeah, that was it. Sorry? I guess I just...make a big deal of ridiculously small things. Like now, again. It’s not a small thing. I really, really miss you and I am trying to find another even to compare to this one, but I can’t. I didn’t quite get the chance to miss someone. I mean, right, I haven’t seen some of my friends for months on end, but that was manageable. I was just staying inside the house more. I think. This is different and I’m so glad it is. I just wish I could make enough sense to explain this to the real you too. I guess it would...make you feel...good, wouldn’t it? Or not. Probably not. It’s just Nick missing you. Not a big deal. Again with the big deal._

He couldn’t help but smile. How was he supposed not to feel hopeful now, when his hypothetical self was told such things? He let out a long breath and inhaled again. He was not finished.

_I’m just thinking that I have a good feeling about it. Like as if it would make you happy. I want you happy and yes, I know you’ll say you usually are, but happiness as a surprise is even better. Isn’t it? Am I making sense? Please, God, let me make sense, at least so I can use this as further reference._

_Wait, it’s beside me right now. I’ll bring one home so I guess you’ll *have* to visit. Bold emphasizing, Nick, nice touch. Mom found my reading glasses, this is a thing you should probably see. Cade said he didn’t know what species I was when he first saw me. No, really, they’re just normal, boring glasses. Maybe I just don’t know how to wear them._

_... *My* glasses are boring. Not yours. Don’t take it that way. Well, you probably won’t, but anyway, just to be sure. I love your glasses. Wow. Discovering a lot of things today. No, the right word is admitting, I think. Admitting a lot of things today. Should I keep on doing that? This fake e-mail is already too long._

He pushed his glasses harder on his nose. As slow as his blood usually was, he had to be blushing even a little. He really wasn’t supposed to read this. It didn’t even sound real. When would Nick ever say something like that to him, after all? Maybe somebody had hacked into his computer...but this was too personal to be someone else.

_Have you been practising the piano lately? I know I’d made a vow to remind you to keep doing that, but...yeah. I was a little selfish in the past few...days? weeks? months? of school. Sorry for being selfish; it was scary how good talking to you felt. Feels. It feels amazing. Is it the same the other way round? Just...yeah. Ignore that question too, if you want. This sounded as a reproach and you’ll probably feel pressed to answer. See? This is where texting isn’t better than talking._

He scoffed loudly. Who was he taking him for? What, did he think he had fallen in love because of his ridiculous amount of hair, perfect hands, amazing smile, gorgeous eyes? Well... _Jeff, don’t go there_. Of course it was the same on his part too. _Of course._

_I miss your voice. Oh, God, I have to remind dad to get those headphones! I have your iPod’s ear buds, but no microphone, so it would be useless. Thank you again for letting me keep it for so long. Also, you’ll probably freak out at the amount of creepy songs in it when I’ll return it. I should probably delete all the things I’ve put inside (you’ll want to use it afterwards, so you’ll need space for your own things), but I’ll let you do that. Maybe you’ll like some of it._

_Hey, hypothetical-Jeff? This really helped. In a way. This will ruin the non-existent mood, but I can only think about sleep right now. Which is scary. Afternoon nap? Many things come to mind before sleeping. Ever happened to you? I guess it did. It happens to all of us. The mind is tired, the walls are descending._

_Who knew I get close to philosophical before bed? I didn’t._

_Good day, Jeff._

_\- Nick_

 

 


	16. Sitting on the third step

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sloppy make-out sessions.

Their screens lit up.

**From: Nick**

_Please tell me I didn’t send you anything._

**From: Jeff**

_You did. Sorry..._

**From: Nick**

_Oh, God..._

Nick literally got a hold of his head and looked with scared eyes at the screen. Why was this happening? Never, never write an e-mail after a talk with your grandfather and a glass of wine, no matter if you’re drunk or not. This was actually happening.

_Look, Jeff, I...shit. Um...I’m sorry. Really, I..._

_I should not be allowed to use a computer anymore..._

**From: Jeff**

_Nick_

**From: Nick**

_Sorry. I’m so sorry._

_Yes?_

**From: Jeff**

_It’s okay._

Well, of course he’d say that. He was Jeff, after all. Let’s see, how was he going to go through this? Exhaling loudly at the screen, Nick let his cheek on his palm and stared at the words. Was it really okay? Was he making everything just a little bit too difficult?

After all, the math was simple for anyone else (or so he thought). Jeff liked him, he liked Jeff. Jeff told him, he pretty much told Jeff. _GOSH!!_ Was he making everything too simple now? Not at all. If he took a minute to think about it like this, he was getting really scared. _Why, Nick? Be normal and just let it flow._ Should he? Maybe something was actually going to happen. _This_ was scary.

**From: Nick**

_Um..._

**From: Jeff**

_Really_

**From: Nick**

_Sor-...yeah_

**From: Jeff**

_:)_

_Miss you too._

“I’m doomed,” Nick’s hand trailed down his blushing face and he let his head fall on the desk. A ‘meow’ came from under the bed. He would deal with them just a little while later.

o0o0o

**From: Nick**

_So...um, what are you doing?_

_Really?_

**From: Jeff**

_Yeah, pretty much._

_And I’m practicing piano...-ish. You can’t do that with a laptop on your lap, but you get the idea._

Oh, and about that... Jeff put his laptop straighter on his lap and pressed a few keys, the sounds making Piper come into the room and sit at his feet. Such a small thing. He repositioned his glasses and turned back to their conversation. The sun was hitting his back warmly and he was feeling strangely good. Now if he could only stop grinning like a madman.

**From: Nick**

_Give me a moment._

_Okay, done._

**From: Jeff**

_Are you okay?_

**From: Nick**

_Screamed in a pillow. Yeah, I’m great now._

**From: Jeff**

_..._

_Stop...smiling_. No way his body was going to start listening to him right now. When Elisabeth walked into the music room, she mirrored his goofy smile and came closer. He played a few more notes, single-handedly.

_:)_

**From: Nick**

_Um..._

**From: Jeff**

_:)_

**From: Nick**

_Jeff._

“Who’s that?” the younger blond pressed her cheek against his left arm and looked at the screen. Her hair was so soft and it was tickling his skin, but he didn’t mind. He just kept on smiling.

“That’s Nick,” he turned a little towards her and pressed a kiss to her head, making her giggle a little.

“Hi,” she grinned at the laptop and held on to his arm.

**From: Jeff**

_Lulu says hi._

**From: Nick**

_Hi._

_Um, Jeff?_

**From: Jeff**

_Yeah? :)_

**From: Nick**

_At least you’re in a good mood._

_You *are* in a good mood, aren’t you?_

**From: Jeff**

_..._

Naturally, he was in a good mood, but this was too fun playing around with. Or maybe he was acting weird because of all this time spent with only himself and the other two small things in the house. Well, at least he wasn’t missing too much sleep at the moment. His mother accused him twice in the last three days of being too obedient.

**From: Nick**

_..._

**From: Jeff**

_Yes, I am._

_Are you?_

**From: Nick**

_I’m...happy you’re not mad? I think?_

_Yeah, I’m great._

**From: Jeff**

_You already said that._

**From: Nick**

_You asked..._

**From: Jeff**

_Yes, so..._

_How are you?_

**From: Nick**

_I’m fi-..._

_I’m in my room, adults are chatting downstairs and kids are yelling up here, I’ve slept for 9 hours and I had a heart attack twenty minutes ago. But no, I’m fine. I’ve eaten and there are no birds in my room now (it was nasty last time...with those little things around), it’s sunny outside and you’re in a good mood. I’m feeling great._

**From: Jeff**

_Heart attack?_

_...oh, right. Sorry. For your heart, that is. It’s not healthy. Eat more salad._

**From: Nick**

_Salad?_

**From: Jeff**

_Yeah._

_So birds..._

**From: Nick**

_:)_

**From: Jeff**

_Ahaha_

**From: Nick**

_See?_

**From: Jeff**

_I do :)_

**From: Nick**

_Piano practice?_

**From: Jeff**

_But, Niiiick..._

**From: Nick**

_I’ll probably be here when you’re done :)_

o0o0o

 _POW!_ The ball hit Nick straight on the forehead with enough force to knock him over. Once he was splayed on the grass, with a light pain in his elbows and back, he chose not to move and watched the sky for a minute. And then the ball hit him again. And again.

“What?” he got up and looked at his four cousins, especially at Mike, who was two years his junior, who was just retrieving his ball.

“What?” he looked back at him with a bored face and, after a moment’s thought, he threw the ball again. This time, Nick ducked.

“Okay, stop it, I’m going,” he rose to go and the ball passed by his face again. His forehead hurt a little but he refused to rub it more in front of them.

“Inside? How come you become more of a nerd every time we see you?” he heard David say as he turned his back. “Come on, stay outside,” the tone wasn’t threatening or anything, but Nick knew better than to trust it. Still, he stopped and turned around.

Although there were of the same age, David was – like everybody – taller than him and a little stronger, if he could recall from their earliest quarrels. No, Nick was not going to get there again. Last time, he was 15 and he’d gotten out of it with a broken arm. Not a pleasant memory.

“Why?” he asked calmly, throwing his arms defensively at his sides. “There’s nothing to do,” he finally mumbled, looking at the lawn around them, but nobody heard it.

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

David got closer and Mike came quickly after him. The remaining two were Neil and Anna, twins of 11 years old. Not too kind to him either. He sometimes wondered where they had gotten it from.

“What?” Nick narrowed his eyes for a few seconds at them. He didn’t like feeling cornered.

David shrugged and ran a hand through his dirty blond hair. “Girlfriend. Do you have one?”

“Um...no?”

“It was a rhetorical question, Nick,” he sniggered, followed by the others and the brunet rolled his eyes.

He wasn’t going to deal with this today. It was afternoon already and he had just managed to fix his headphones and camera in the morning. He had more important things to do inside, obviously.

“Okay,” he turned to go again, but after a few steps towards the house, he knew he wasn’t the only one who was moving. _Shit_. He started to run towards the trees on the other side.

o0o0o

A Nick in a tree. Again. Perfect. This time, however, he’d had luck. It was a strong one. Sincerely, he doubted that his cousins were actually going to do him any harm (or, at least, nothing too serious), but he wanted to avoid their further mockery. The fact that he wasn’t as outgoing as they were was not their business, after all.

And this tree felt nice. He didn’t remember when he had last climbed one. Placing his body carefully at the base of a thick branch, he looked ahead to the green forest behind the mansion. It was peaceful; he just hoped he wasn’t going to fall asleep.

Suddenly, he remembered he had something to do. But what, but what. “Right!” he almost jumped off the branch in his realisation. After steadying himself, he descended carefully and tested his legs again by running back to the house. “Dad!” he drew his breath once he got in the hall and waited to be given attention.

“I’ve looked for you outside. Food’s almost ready,” the man narrowed his eyes at Nick and his hand reached for his hair. He pulled a leaf out. “Well, it looks like the squirrel’s back. Have you climbed up high?” he smiled, his face suddenly free of worry. _This_ was why Nick hated the time they didn’t talk. Even though they didn’t know each other very well, neither of them were mean people. They just didn’t always find a way to talk to each other.

“Not very high; I wanted to make it back in one piece. Um...about the cat,” he looked upwards, trying to suppress his pout, but not succeeding, if his father’s smile was anything to go by.

The next thing, his already child-of-the-wild hair was being ruffled even more. “’S okay. I’ve been to the airport, we should be fine. Friday, right? You should get to spend some time at home too.”

Now, he blushed and looked away. “Yeah...about that. C-can I...stay at a friend for the first night back?” _Hypothetically_ , he added for himself. Maybe his surprise wasn’t such a good idea, after all. Maybe he’d be in the way. Maybe Jeff’s got a girlfriend during the break! _Don’t be ridiculous, that’s too soon_. Huh, it was weird for his mind to help him out when it came to this. He should investigate it further.

“Couldn’t it wait a day?” but he couldn’t resist the look Nick was unconsciously giving him. “Okay, fine. Good luck explaining it to your mother,” the man grinned slyly and walked away.

“But...but!” His mother was going to kill him.

o0o0o

 _Okay now. Just don’t sneeze._ He verified it again and pushed the kittens aside so he could sit down. They refused. _How dare they?_

“Wow, your hair grows really fast.”

Taking one kitten’s mini-claws out of the blanket and allowing it to pin them in his thigh, Nick turned quickly to the screen, smiling to hide the sudden pain.

“Hi,” Jeff grinned cheekily, sitting more comfortably on his part of the ocean.

“He-hello,” Nick stumbled over his words as he unstuck the small cat from his leg. It produced a high-pitched ‘meow’.

And then another, a louder one. “Who’s that?” Jeff moved, as if that was going to help him see more. Nick could tell he has been busy; his hair was wilder than usual (and it didn’t look half bad, to say at least). _Nick._

To answer him, he raised the kitten in the air against its will. It was almost pouting at the webcam, poor thing. Jeff let out a low ‘oh’ and he grinned. “This one’s mine. You’ll meet her soon.” Bad idea. The other fur-balls approached him at once, now in frantic game mood. He yelped at the sudden attack.

“Oh, that’s so cute,” he heard Jeff’s short giggle and raised his eyes, cheeks slightly pinkish now.

“...Me or them?” he punched himself mentally as soon as the words were out of his mouth. _Where did that come from?_

He took a deep breath when he saw the blond’s embarrassed gesture of looking at his hands. “Both,” he still sounded amused, though. Nervousness.

 _Oh, God_. Forget kitten rights, he needed a mask, so he raised the small cat to his face, nuzzling into its grey, spotted fur. He was going to endure a few heart attacks during this chat.

“Ah! Wait,” Jeff suddenly ducked out of the webcam’s reach and Nick was left to deal with his cats and his red cheeks alone. He glanced at the corner of the screen; his heart was hammering after less than 5 minutes of conversation. He was going to die. “Here,” the blond shot up again, beaming at him and holding a golden-furred puppy.

 _Oh, dear, they look strangely alike_ , Nick rested his chin on the slightly drowsed kitten and then waved with its paw at his friend (and the pup).

“Piper. He’s Lulu’s,” Jeff smiled before giving the small animal back to the earth it had come from. Not really. Nick returned the gesture, all silent. Jeff then looked around, as if trying to remember something. _Click_. “Oh, right. Nick, have you seen _Arrietty_?”

“What?” the brunet blinked as the released cat finally left his lap and rolled down his comforter to the carpet. See? Strategy.

Jeff nodded to himself. Strange, their cameras seemed to have randomly decided to work really well. They didn’t freeze once. “ _The Secret World of Arrietty_. I think I’ve watched it with Lulu four times already. She loves that movie!”

 _Lord, his smile is amazing_. He pinched himself. _What are you doing, Nick?_ He shook his head. “Haven’t...seen it yet.” Jeff’s eyes looked darker too and he found himself gulping involuntarily.

“It’s really nice,” he stated before changing the subject. “So, how’s it there?“ his beige T-shirt was loose on his body, so Nick could almost see his collarbones. _God dammit, keep it in your pants!_ Right…

“It’s...yeah...good. Oh, and we’re coming back sooner,” he dared to look up again.

“ _Sooner_?”

“Yeah, in a few days, but not too soon,” he smiled. Today was Thursday, his bags were almost made, but there was no way he was going to let all the surprise go away.

Jeff took off his glasses for a moment, running a hand through his bangs instinctively and then putting them back after a quick wipe. Nick really doubted he had been allowed to stare so intensely at those _totally innocent_ movements.

He could feel the hormones kill his brain from the inside and at that time he wanted nothing more than to reach out and feel Jeff’s golden locks between his fingers. Curses, when did his feelings get so...physical? For one reason or another, when he woke from his reverie, the blond was staring right back at him.

o0o0o

Nick’s mouth looked really nice from this angle. _Wait, what?_

“Jeff?” he heard his voice and glanced at the screen, eyes forced on Nick’s hazel ones and not...lower. He started fiddling idly with his T-shirt in order to calm his blush.

“Yes?” he smiled sheepishly a little too late, but definitely acting as if his head wasn’t attacked by awful, awful thoughts just a moment before.

“Is everything okay there?” Nick blinked at him (he did it expressively, Jeff had observed ever since they’ve met) and damn, he couldn’t and didn’t want to look away from his face. _I’m doomed_.

He was falling. Continuously falling, too hard and too fast.

“Yes, almost. We may have had some problems in the washing room and had to organise a treasure hunt for unused clothes, but we’re fine.” 1) They’ve had to use the dryer. They tried and they failed. 2) Always, always bring your sibling down with you when confessing to a crime. But this was mainly the idea, yes. Another thought hit his head, which he begged to stay inside. Yeah. “A little lonely, though...” he glanced out the corner of his eye around the room, searching for something to cover himself with. There was a big plush thing on the other side of the room, but he couldn’t quite move.

His brown eyes flickered up again, under the shield of his black-rimmed glasses and he swallowed dryly. Nick had a new smile on his lips (what was it doing there?), one that made his stomach do a few back-flips. _Why_? What could he do now? He grinned too and, for some unknown reason, it seemed to have affected his friend, whose own smile faltered a little on his lips.

“Okay?” he asked, suddenly confident.

“Yeah,” Nick cleared his throat. “We’ll mend that soon enough.” He could see him cross his legs in front of him and wow, that bed was big for him. _Cute_. _But what?_

“Huh?” he raised an eyebrow and the brunet tittered.

“School’s starting next week, right?”

 _Oh_. “Right.” Of course. What was he thinking?

But that meant he was going to see Nick again soon, face to face. Why did it feel as if everything was going to be different? The last time they’ve seen each other...Nick told him he liked him. _Oh, sweet Cupid._

“Wait a little,” the blond got up and rushed out of the room, to the kitchen, drank half-a-glass of water and gilled it after with apple juice. When he got back, he grabbed the teddy too and took his seat on the couch back again.

Nick giggled on his part of the world. “Got comfy?”

“Very,” Jeff smiled, put the glass on the coffee table and hugged the dark brown bear. He could hear his friend sigh a half-pained, half-amused ‘Jeeeeff’. “What?” he asked innocently, pushing his glasses back in their rightful position. He already felt less bare now.

A bigger cat climbed on Nick’s lap, but was paid no attention for the moment. “What are you doing to me...?” Jeff thought he heard the other saying (and certainly not to the cat), but that couldn’t be it. Especially now since Nick seemed to look over his words again and see, he was going to say something different. Stupid bad hearing, Jeff. “Um...” Nick looked away from the screen. “So...Matilda.”

“Really?” Jeff grinned when his friend continued to look in the direction of what he presumed was the TV.

“Yeah...” he turned back and gave him a smile to melt even an evil headmaster’s heart. Nick was not the type of kid to be put in ‘ _the_ _chokey’_.

o0o0o

“Jeffie, there’s no more milk,” the small girl turned from the open fridge and stared expectantly at her brother, who was just outside the kitchen.

“Impossible. How can there be no more milk? We’ve had like...a dozen...cartons...” To the end, after he placed the laundry temporarily in an armchair and scanned the inside of the refrigerator, his voice dropped. “Well...” No milk.

“Can we get more?” her big eyes searched his face as he processed the situation.

It was Friday; their mother was going to get back sometime around Monday morning. They obviously had money to buy what they needed and he knew from where. The only problem was...the closest shop was 20 minutes by car apart. By car. Car. That meant driving. He could go by foot alone, but he wasn’t going to leave Elisabeth alone at home (it was also already afternoon). Neither could he make her come with him. It was quite a long walk.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, still staring at the milk-less shelves.

She blinked before smiling. “Of course.”

“Then...” he pushed the door closed, “...we’ll take the car.”

o0o0o

Two hours later, they finally entered their street again, with the car in one piece, no else. With enough milk to feed an army (because soldiers need milk too) and a few vanilla croissants too many, Jeff felt quite proud of himself. And his driving wasn’t half bad that day either.

“Any plans for tonight?” he winked at his little sister, carefully belted in the passenger’s seat (no room in the backseat. Too much milk. Help.)

She grinned gleefully. “Karaoke!”

 _You just like how that word sounds, don’t you?_ He smiled “Man, I really am your brother,” Jeff drove further and after a few more metres he squinted in front of them. Was there somebody? He pulled over in front of the garage and looked again. “Holy Sam Gamgee. Um...okay, Lulu. Final Destination 5. Visitor,” he pointed towards the house.

The blonde girl goggled at his for a moment, then unfastened her seatbelts (two, better safe than sorry) and sprinted to the stairs before their front door, greeting the one waiting on the third step. He looked a little startled at her appearance, to be frank.

Oh, God. Oh, God. I’m hallucinating. If not, this is awesome. Nick! Jeff delayed the confrontation by taking some of the plastic bags in his hands and only then approaching the other two. Same situation as the one with the teddy bear, he guessed.

Elisabeth was all over the newcomer by the time he reached them and she was asking questions and inspecting him like a little hunting animal. She then turned to her brother. “Jeffie, he’s so tiny!”

Nick’s eyes widened at the statement and Jeff stifled a laugh. “Careful, he’s still taller than you,” he managed to say and then their eyes met. “Hi,” he offered him a grin, thankful for the low evening light. He knew Nick picked on the fact he hadn’t quite denied what his sister had said. A dangerous path to walk on.

“Hi,” Nick finally stood up, dusting his jeans and retrieving his backpack from the ground. “Um...I should have called, but...” He was still smiling, though. “Can I stay...?”

Jeff was still quite taken aback by this turn of events, but he couldn’t say the look on Nick’s face was helping him get a hold of himself either. Lulu jumped in long before he could. “Jeffie and I have milk! Come!” her eyes twinkled up at the brunet, who smiled back before raising an eyebrow at Jeff and mouthing ‘milk?’.

“Well...” Jeff grinned as he went past them and unlocked the door under the bags in his arms. “We also have way too many cakes and croissants,” he looked over his shoulder at Nick, waiting for his response, which came very soon, his eye shining.

o0o0o

“There went the karaoke,” the blond chanted as he left his (sleeping) sister’s room and went into the unused, tiny cinema room on the 1st floor.

Now, on he went with trying not to think about Nick being only in his pyjamas. _You’re paranoid, Jeff. They’re still clothes. Your clothes, true, but still a lot of clothes._ So, yeah, it looked like Nick hadn’t thought as far as to wonder what he was going to change into for the night. Jeff couldn’t say he was protesting. And he definitely wasn’t perturbed by his friend’s exposed forearms. _That’s ridiculous. Haha._

“So...now?” he approached the couch warily and sat beside him, not too far apart.

“Now?” the brunet smiled knowingly at him, raising his legs on the sofa. _Cloudy socks._

 _Stay safe, Jeff. Stay sa-_ ... Only if he could. “Do you...” he drew closer “...want to watch a movie?” They knees touched, eyes locked.

Then Nick broke the connection. “I used them to fall asleep these weeks, but we can try,” he grinned and gazed at him again. His eyes twinkled with green today.

“Then...” Jeff sighed thoughtfully and played with his fingers in the air. That, until Nick’s hand reached for them too and that simple touch made his heart flutter. “Um...” he gulped and let their fingers intertwine lazily. Nick’s hand was warm; and soft, if he was to go on (which he certainly wasn’t).

“Yeah,” the other retracted his hand quickly and they both looked away, embracing their legs to their chests. “ _Okay_ ,” he said after a while with a shadow of a smirk.

“ _Okay_.” Jeff chuckled back. If they were thinking of the same thing right now, then his whole life was a really big joke.

Nick broke for a moment. “ _Oh, my God!_ ” he managed to get out between giggles.

“ _Stop flirting with me!_ ” Jeff laughed at once. “I can’t believe you read that!”

“What do you mean? It’s my own opinion that _okay is BURSTING with sensuality_.” He bumped their knees together, a wide grin on his face, but then he shrugged. “I’m full of surprises.”

“You are,” the blond couldn’t suppress his smile from growing. And then silence fell. Without any question being asked. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Another pause. It wasn’t awkward. “I missed you.”

“You too,” Jeff blinked, relaxing into the couch. His black (and starry-grey) trousers tangled in his feet as he positioned himself better. God, they were getting longer by the day! Cheap material.

They stood relatively silent for a few moments, glancing at whatever was playing on the TV, then they both moved at the same time towards each other. The hug was tighter than they’ve intended, but _so_ satisfying. Nick hummed comfortably into his shoulder and Jeff nuzzled in his dark hair, trying to focus on that rather than in their chests touching or Nick’s hands on his shoulder blades and God, why did he smell _so good_?

o0o0o

“Nick...” there was no evident reason for him to speak up, at least not in his mind, but Nick looked at him questioningly, waiting for a follow-up that did not come. _Skittles, I don’t know what to do. I should...go sleep it off or something. Yeah, probably._ “Nothing,” he shook his head awkwardly, aware of the fact that his voice sounded weird.

After some more moments of looking at him, Nick turned his eyes back to the television. Of course they ended up scrambling through channels in the end. He could hear Jeff trying to even his breath quietly beside him and he bit his lip, lost in thought. _Okay, I can’t take this_. “Jeff, are you okay?” he scanned his face.

“Y-yeah,” the blond breathed out, then changed his mind. “Um, Nick?”

“Yes?” maybe he had answered a little too quickly, but he was fully focused.

This was not a good idea, but then again, it was late and he was tired and he was sure that Nick was tired too so neither of them would have actually minded crossing a few lines and- _what_? _I should sleep_ , Jeff closed his eyes, but when he opened them again, he couldn’t tear them away from Nick’s lips. He only now observed that they had more than a peachy tint to them. He bit his own, lightly.

On the other hand, it took Nick a little more time to catch up. He swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. He was as scared as he was full of anticipation. Okay, and maybe he was, deep down, a little excited about it too, but he wasn’t going to admit _that_ now. _Don’t go ahead of yourself, Nick, this is just a hypothesis._

They remembered people having this term of “special” regarding their first kiss. Jeff had waited for it when a girl kissed him when he was twelve and it did not come. He forgot about it soon after. Nick really doubted it would come to him. His fear was the same with his conviction that every love-related thing would only be superficial to him.

“Jeff?” he had to speak, even if just to see if he could move his mouth after all the silence.

“I’m here,” he tittered, eyes flicking to Nick’s hazel ones before starting to go lower again.

“You sure?” the brunet tried to grin, actively trying to ignore that they’ve both leant closer to each other.

Jeff bit his lower lip again, regretting it soon after. What if that would look as a turn-off? He couldn’t have been more wrong. “Positive.”

Nick shifted his left hand to the couch, pressing some of his weight on it as he reflexively went even closer. From this distance, he could finally see Jeff’s eyes as clearly as if he had no glasses on. That should have meant they were too close by now.

He wanted to say something more; he felt entitled too, but he caught sight of the other’s movement just in time and involuntarily closed his eyes, his heart screaming “ _WAIT_!” while his brain turned to mush with a last hiss of failure.

Jeff was unexpectedly careful as he brushed his lips over Nick’s, taking in a shuddering breath before pressing their mouths together. He had only a moment to panic before the other finally leant into the kiss too, tilting his head ever so slightly while they were both failing miserably to keep on breathing.

When one of them felt the need to take a bigger gulp of air and opened his mouth slowly against the other’s, new shivers ran down their spines. Nick had a second to realise just how dizzy he’d gotten, but he shoved the feeling away and made another attempt at deepening the kiss, making Jeff almost lose his balance before responding.

They broke apart as soon as their tongue tips brushed lightly, panting and staring with wide eyes at each other from the new sensation. Nick had the power to gulp, but Jeff kept breathing through his mouth, cheeks red and shaking a little. But then again, the other was doing so too, from what he could feel at the moment.

“That...”

Jeff focused quickly on Nick’s face when he heard him talk. By the way, _wow_. He could do that.

“That woke me up...” he tried to grin, but it turned out more nervous and unsure than he’d intended.

The blond let out a breathy chuckle. “Yeah...” Already feeling better. This was good. So good.

After that, it was almost silent for a few minutes, except for the TV. Jeff gazed in and out of focus at the moving images, going back to hugging his knees. He could still feel his lips burning and that made his members tingle. His eyes flickered back to Nick when he snickered.

“Now, _this_ is romantic,” he brunet giggles at the flat screen and Jeff’s eyes ran back to it.

His eyes lit up. “Hey, I’ve wanted to see this one!” Wow, his voice was steady. Maybe that thing from earlier hadn’t happened at all, but he still couldn’t risk raising his hand to his lips. _What if..._

“Then let’s,” he leant on the blond’s side comfortably, his gaze still kept on the television. “Which one is it?” Jeff could hear the slight breathlessness in his voice. This was real.

“9,” he replied with a smile and allowed himself to touch Nick’s hair with his cheek. His brown eyes then flickered to the strange, dissembled clock his mother had mounted on the opposite wall. “It’s later than usual.”

Nick only nodded slowly, his body stiffening a little as he expected the worst. He did not want to let him go just yet. The suggestion thankfully did not come, but some minutes later Jeff moved and both of them immediately started missing the physical contact.

_Already?_

_Really, Nick?_

_Really, Jeff?_

“Shall I bring a blanket?” their eyes met, they were a little red. Nick looked puzzled. “It’s a long movie,” Jeff winked, the relief on the other’s face making his heart light. The movie really wasn’t _that_ long, but a sudden rush of happiness was making him want to clap and jump and he didn’t want to accidentally do that in front of him.

He was just getting up when the brunet touched his hand gently, making his breath hitch, his eyes darting as if on instinct back to Nick’s lips. This was ridiculous. Was he only going to think about-... Didn’t matter. Nick took the initiative this time.

Jeff closed his eyes a moment before their lips touched for the second time that hour, day, lifetime. He felt out of breath as soon as it happened and his hand held Nick’s a little tighter. His insides were filled with warmth as hot waves of air trailed in and out of his mouth. Everything screamed of _real_.

“Yeah...blanket.” A blushing Nick was something he’d never known he needed in his life. He liked it maybe just a little too much.

He cast a glance at the movie. He had to be fast about it. “I’ll be back,” he said, unnecessarily, and fled the room without tripping over his feet. Achievement.

 

 


	17. 36 tarts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bless you, John Green and Susanna Clarke.

**Chapter 17 – 36 tarts**

He had never understood how could the clatter from the kitchen reach as high as his bedroom. _Seriously now._ And who’d left the door open? “Need any help?” Melinda’s head poked inside as a quick answer. He was almost naked, if he hadn’t mentioned that yet.

“I...um...no, thank you, Mel,” he looked around for something to cover himself with, but the woman was just as fast out of the room as she had been inside, closing the door after her (thank the old gods and the new!).

Good thing he had the mind to put on boxers (Batman ones, no else). His hair was still slightly damp from the shower he’d had earlier, but the hair dryer was making the schizophrenic bird’s nest that rested on his head look even more mentally ill.

So, after ruffling it a lot with a towel, he fished his uniform from the wardrobe. He took a moment to stare at himself after he put on his trousers. What was his mother thinking, getting him a full-body mirror? He looked kind of...strange. Yeah, okay, he’s been kind of staring at himself for the entire weekend, ever since Jeff dropped him home on Saturday morning and he found the wicked thing in his room.

About that, let’s see what he’s learned in the past quarter-of-a-dozen days:

1)      He can’t really sleep on planes.

2)      There were far more steps to take during a kiss that he’s been told in 5th grade.

3)      Having a boyfriend made him an internal wobbly mess.

And who would’ve thought his first kiss was going to taste like peanut butter? That was an afterthought.

He drew closer to the mirror, staring at his face. If he was to say it, he looked quite unchanged, on the big picture. He’s been worrying for nothing the past couple of days; his parents couldn’t catch up to what was going on with him. How could they? _Just look at my face._ He blinked at himself. Nothing.

Sighing, he resumed his dressing up by putting on a white, short-sleeved shirt (it was April, after all), arranging his Dalton tie swiftly and keeping his blazer in one hand. He had to leave now if he didn’t want to be late.

“Going? Have fun, Nick,” his mother smiled at him from the hallway downstairs and he, once again, felt the need to jump over and just finally say it. _I have a boyfriend!_

But he had promised himself not to, out of self-preservation. He was going to tell both her and his father if – when, his mind corrected – they’d made it through the second week. Just to be sure.

“Yeah. See you,” he smiled back and went outside to his car. Now he had a 1-hour drive to try the device in his pocket and to over-think other matters. Like... _What about PDA?_

o0o0o

Jeff was going to be late. How was he to know that buses were this slow? He had twenty minutes left until first period started and, although no one was that strict on the first day of school after a holiday, he still didn’t want to go in after the teacher.

Maybe he should have taken his car, but really, that would have been called provoking fate. Well, at least his mother had arrived early enough to take care of his sister, so he had been able to sleep in a little (not like that had made his current situation better).

Ten minutes. The bus approached his appointed stop and Jeff scrambled out, looking longingly at the last mile of walking to Dalton Academy. He could do this. Of course he could. So he ran, and ran, and ran and by the time he was behind the closed doors of the main entrance his hair was sticking to his forehead. But the bell rang just at that moment, forcing him in motion once again.

Close, close, close, close. He got to the door and was just going to open it when somebody hissed at him from down the hallway. “Hold the door!” Turning, he saw Cade and nodded, waiting for him to catch up. Heat was still radiating from his body after his run outside. He could just hope inside was better. “Still your partner,” the brunet grinned when he got beside him and they went into the room.

They’ve been each other’s partner for this English Literature class all year, after all. The teacher, thankfully, still wasn’t there when they got in, but she had arrived soon after and managed to put them on study mode, more or less. As the others noted down an important quote, Jeff stared at what he could see of his black rims. They were blurry.

“A tall tale is an exaggerated account of impossible actions,” the lady’s voice echoed in front of him, but Jeff had just decided that he couldn’t wait another moment of that hour without looking to the other half of the class, searching.

One row of chairs away, Nick was still scribbling in his notebook, black, spiky-ish strands falling over his face and he couldn’t help smiling at the sight. He was close and there and they were going to talk today, again, face to face. Suddenly, Jeff felt the excitement of a Christmas morning. Then Nick looked up at the teacher for a second and then across the classroom, his gaze finding Jeff’s in the end and, life deciding to be better than ever, they exchanged two full-blown smiles.

o0o0o

“Thad slept with my lawn mower girl,” Trent groaned once they got to the common room later that day.

“Does saying that it wasn’t an accident help?”

“Not at all!” Though they were all laughing by then.

Jeff had decided by then that eating an apple while listening to them was the best strategy _ever_. He didn’t have to be awkward and he could keep on listening, trying to make light of their holiday ‘adventures’.

“And YOU are not dead!” David exclaimed after another fit of laughter at an approaching Nick, who looked first doubtfully at him, then grinned and shook his head. Always the same.

“I was _in France_! I don’t understand, I’m not even that danger prone,” he rolled his eyes at the ceiling as they analysed his posture for damage already.

After the discussion has been reloaded, he looked at the blond on the couch and smiled again, not missing the one in response, even if it was hidden behind that _blasted_ apple. He was so sure everything was going to be clumsy and awkward that this was making no sense. Well, it wasn’t like they’d exchanged any words that day either. Nick was soon going to fix that.

“Something’s changed,” he stated at the other, a thing that’s been in his mind since first period. Jeff looked different and he couldn’t quite find the reason. He only hoped he wasn’t seeing things.

“Huh?” the blond blinked and took another bite, still waiting and waiting for Nick to _sit beside him already._ And of course something’s changed. _What if he has memory issues?_

“But what?” Nick tilted his head comically and he giggled, until he gasped in his discovery. Oh, it was simpler than that.

Jeff coughed, a little embarrassed of what was to come. “I...re-dyed my hair yesterday,” he looked up at his...um, yeah, at Nick with almost fearful eyes.

“Re-d...what?” the brunet leant closer – _finally_ , he would’ve thought in another scenario – and narrowed his eyes at his hair before running his hands through it. Jeff was not going to tell him he’d actually made an effort that morning to give it a decent look. All gone now. “Yeah, I think it’s lighter,” Nick said, still keeping his fingers tangled in the blond locks.

“It had gotten really bi-coloured during the holiday, so I thought I’d take care of it myself,” Jeff spared him a little smile and the hands went away.

“Since when are you doing this?” Nick took the seat beside him, eyes still trained on the light-blond tuft. He didn’t remember seeing a non-blonde Jeff, but then again, he didn’t really look at people all that much before.

His apple was finished. “Christmas time, freshmen year. My mom thought she’d try bleaching my hair for a play, but after that I couldn’t find my natural colour in any store and I figured this,” he pointed at his head, “is better than a tiramisu.”

“That’s...unfortunate,” the other managed to say, still mesmerized by his attempts to picture Jeff what, a ginger? A brunet? Auburn-haired? “What colour is it, really?”

“Light brown. I’ll show you next time when it hits the final stage.” That, right there, was a promise. Promises were good, they could last.

“Can’t wait,” and he was quite sincere about it.

“Um...guys?”

Both of them looked up at the same time to find their other four friends looking sceptically down at them. David was shoulder-to-shoulder with Thad, both narrowing their eyes at the two on the couch, Wes looked, of all, amused and Trent was tilting his head from one side to the other, as if trying to figure out something.

“What?”

Nick’s voice seemed to unfreeze them all, as they shrugged with variable degrees of interest, but their eyes still lingered on them for some moments. As no answer came in the following moments, Nick raised an eyebrow and attempted to drum his fingers on the couch, when he realised he couldn’t. _Oh. Oh, right._ He let go of Jeff’s hand. When did he even start holding it?

Wes sniggered, being the only one to catch that last action and turned away from them, instructing Thad and David to start counting the freshmen around, like the responsible seniors they were. Jeff let out a long breath as he watched them go away, while Trent took a seat and started copying his schedule in his notebook.

“That was...” Nick muttered from his place on the brown couch. He didn’t know if what he was going to say would sound right.

“...close,” Jeff finished for him in a whisper, brushing away his fears. A moment later, when he could tell that the third member of their party was fully engulfed in his own work, he risked entwining two of his fingers with Nick’s again and glanced at him shyly, from the corner of his eye.

Thankfully, the brunet didn’t take long to make up his mind after that and, with a smooth movement, rose from the couch, pulling Jeff lightly up with him. They were almost inconspicuous. Almost.

“Don’t forget my book tomorrow, Jeff,” Trent voiced from behind, refraining from smirking widely at them.

“I won’t,” the blond stammered before Nick took a better hold of his hand and dragged him away.

The hallway was badly illuminated (these light bulbs looked old), but nevertheless empty. Contrasting with the warmth of the day, it was downright cold in the evening and Nick found himself putting his blazer on as they marched down the corridor, towards the exit.

“What book?” he looked at Jeff, smiling when he caught him arranging his bangs.

The blond pursed his lips, blushing slightly as he let his hands drop to his sides. “I promised him a month ago that I was going to lend him my Sci-Fi encyclopaedia,” he shrugged and hurried along with him on the grounds, towards their dorm.

“I see...” He looked up at the night sky, smiling to himself at the abundance of stars living in the middle of nowhere provided them with. Aside from that, he could still feel Jeff’s hand lying warmly in his as they stopped to look up.

“ _The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, that we are underlings_ ,” Jeff smiled and caressed Nick’s hand absent-mindedly with his thumb, feeling his heard expand when he heard him chuckle.

Then the wind started again. “Come on.”

o0o0o

“I can’t believe he’s still not here,” Nick goggled at Lewis’ empty bed in the room before sighing forlornly and closing the door behind them.

 _It’s nothing you’re not familiar with. You’ve been in this situation since the first day. Just you and Nick and an empty room. See? Nothing to be scared of. Nothing to freak out about. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing._ He felt Nick’s lips on his while his mind was still stuck on repeating that word. He couldn’t believe this had first happened three days before. Well, he still had issues believing it happened at all, but still, to the subject.

Nick smelt like old books today (he wondered if it was from the library or if it was only the room) and he found himself drawn in, hyper-aware of the warm fingertips on his cheek. He had to blink numerous times when it finished in order to come back to the real world. _Well, that settles it_ , he breathed. _Congrats,_ _Jeff, you have a boyfriend._

“Um...” Nick was adorable when he started fidgeting on the spot (and it sure felt good to be able to think that without being mentally slapped).

“Yeah,” Jeff grinned widely at him, watching him relax under his gaze.

In the end, even Nick laughed. “Okay,” he turned and started handling his cassette deck (his room was slowly starting to look like an antique shop by now).

o0o0o

So they made it safe through the first week, and then the weekend, and now they were steadily going on the second, but no actual words have been spilled. To anyone. Of course, if some of the people around them happened to be really good guessers, they could do nothing about it, but, for now, nothing was official.

 _Well, it’s not like we’ve gone too far either_. No farther than a few shy kisses. Nick sighed contently as he was slowly drifting in a peaceful sleep in the library. He had chosen, previously that day, a particularly big book to use as his pillow and it seemed to do its job for now. He felt just a little bad that he’d opened it almost directly at the middle after only reading 10 pages or so of its first chapter.

_“You are Mr Strange?” asked the lady in the red gown.  
“I am, madam.”_

Or so the top of page 390 said. All he knew was that he wasn’t going to leave the library without getting an hour or so of sleep. The light was falling warmly on his back, but his face was deeply hidden in said pages, smelling the relatively-old flagrance (which every book in their library shared, because of the old building and shelves).

Not unwelcome, a hand brushed his shoulders gently before going away to pull the chair opposite him at the half-full table. “Did you really get that far?” he heard the amused whisper and shook his head without raising it.

But curiosity killed the cat, so he had to abandon his nest to look up at the newcomer. “Morning, Jeff,” he stifled a yawn and the blond giggled to himself silently. Yeah, it was 4 pm already.

At a second, clearer glance, he saw the blond put his ear buds on (which was normal, since he’d returned his iPod. Yes, after a long walk around quite a few iStores, he had finally been provided with a new one. It was so small and blue he felt the need to _nurture_ it, not to use it.), but what he saw in Jeff’s was a little weird and definitely not golden.

“What’s that?” Nick squinted at the black, relatively big thing.

The other smiled. “Early present from mom,” he pulled the thin Stylus quickly and leant back on his chair.

“Present for...?” Blinking the sleep away was hard in that silence. When Jeff raised his brown eyes and looked at his through his glasses, he could only put on a half-innocent grin. An answer was nagging at his brain, but he paid it no attention.

“My birthday,” Jeff choked on his words when he realised he hadn’t told Nick about that. It wasn’t that important, right? “Day after tomorrow,” he bit his lip and looked apologetically at him.

Then followed a pause. “What?” the brunet leant closer, still keeping his voice low. Oh, God, how could he not know? Wasn’t that something he just had to know? _How could I now know?_ “I’m awful...” he mumbled after an even longer silence. _An awful boyfriend_ , he wanted to say, but that stung his heart too hard.

Jeff was still chewing on his lip by the time Nick was in an over-thinking agony. “Um...it’s nothing. Nothing happens, it’s not important,” he tried to calm the other’s mind down as well as he could in a whisper.

 “I should’ve known,” Nick huffed, half-a-smile playing on his face when he relaxed back in his chair.

“Well, I don’t know either,” the blond resumed to turning on his new Nintendo. Hopefully, that didn’t sound harsh.

At that and after a few moments of thinking, Nick reached for a post-it from a sleeping Wes’ notebook and scribbled something quickly on it before passing it to Jeff, who gazed at it for some time, memorizing the date.

“Um...why is everyone asleep?” came Cade’s voice some minutes later and not without reason. Apart from them (and Nick was already looking longingly at the book again), the rest of students at the long table were either sleeping or falling asleep in their books or directly on wood.

“Why are you still at school?” Nick blinked at his best friend, who shook the books in his arms.

“I’m going now. I’ll do more research at home,” he grinned as if he was in possession of Hitler’s last acts.

And then he was gone, just like that, evading the silence of the library with style, if not so much with grace. Nick found himself turning the page to 392, for some reason.

_one woman. Forgive me, Mrs Bullworth, but the greatest magician that ever lived could not kill the same person three different ways.”  
“Do as much as you can manage,” said Mrs Bullworth stubbornly. “The old woman is insufferably proud of her housekeeping. She bored me to death upon the subject.”_

_What..._ , Nick raised an eyebrow at the page and was just on the point of turning back to 391 when Jeff’s hand found his and sent him back to page 12. Hey, there even was a picture on page 13. “Don’t cheat,” the blond grinned playfully and took back his hand before Nick could make up his mind to reach for it again.

_How to putte Questiones to the Dark and understand its Answeres.  
“A foolish work,” said Mr Norrell._

Nick found himself agreeing with the character. It _did_ sound like a foolish work. “Who are you, people, and why are you not sleeping?” they looked to the other end of the table where Aaron was ruffling his long blond hair roughly. When he glanced at them, he had a beginning of dark circles under his eyes.

“Tough night?” David cracked open an eye and the other tried to groan, but yawned instead.

“Hammond’s security is ridiculous and we couldn’t get back in,” he glared at the image of the men at the other private school.

“Love birds, running late after curfew,” Wes giggled to himself and Aaron threw a paper ball at his head.

“I liked Charlie,” Trent nuzzled in his notebook, missing the incredulous look that the blond gave him.

“Don’t take it personal, you know we’ve been waiting for ages to nag you too about your love life,” Thad chuckled and opened a water bottle. Aaron just let them go with a least huff and returned to his library-pillow.

 _We’re gonna be so dead when they find out_ , Nick gulped as he glanced at the group and then looked back at Jeff, who seemed to be thinking the same thing, if his expression was anything to go by. When their eyes met, they both grinned. _Well, a good kind of dead._

o0o0o

 _How about I name you James? Yes, James is good._ He stared at the blue iPod as he twirled it in his hands. He had no special mood that night, so he was just waiting for Lewis to finish his assignments while letting the _Weathervanes_ album play.

It was close to 11 pm. Maybe if they stood up until midnight he could visit Jeff quickly with his ‘happy birthday wishes’. Was that silly? _Yes, that’s silly,_ _Nick. He must be asleep and you still don’t have a present._ He shrank into himself at the reminder. Well, he was going to give him a present in the weekend. He let out a long, pained sigh.

“Oh, stop it,” he heard Lewis say above the chorus of _Kilojoules_ , but he didn’t have the opportunity to question it when their door burst open and Wes and David came inside, all smiles.

“You two, change and let’s go,” Wes looked around and inspected the coat Nick had left on a chair.

“What for?” Lewis asked, purely out of curiosity, his tone awfully empty of opposition.

Nick finally turned off the music and looked expectantly at them too. David was having problems putting the CDs he’d bumped into back in order, so he rolled his eyes and dragged himself in his pyjamas to the crime scene.

“What for?” he asked too, with more boredom in his voice.

“You should know. We’re taking Jeff out,” Wes threw the jacket on his head, smirking proudly. Oh, well, Wes probably knew everything going on in school already.

“Now?” the two asked at the same time and got two rolls of eyes.

“Obviously. Come on. Trent and Thad are dragging Miles out of bed right now. He says it’s something important involving Captain America, but we don’t care.” He looked plain evil.

“So I get to come too?” Lewis asked, already down to his jeans.

The others shrugged. “Why not?”

o0o0o

Bowling was the last thing he thought he’d be doing at past midnight on a school day. Apparently, so did the others in their group think, but that didn’t stop them from having a fairly good time. That, until the place closed at 2 am, for unspeakable reasons.

“We’re gonna get expelled,” Miles sighed in surrender once they started walking through the large, badly lit park that they’d used as a shortcut.

“Lies. We’re gonna be fiiiine,” Thad laughed and patted him a little too hard on the back. Maybe letting him have two beers hadn’t been such a good idea. “But you gotta give us some credit, Jeff, this was _awesome_!” he looked over his shoulder at the blond, who was grinning widely, still flushed from their game inside.

“It was! Thank you!” Jeff laughed after him when he got a hold of Miles and didn’t seem to want to let go. The caught junior was not pleased in the least.

“Happy 17th birthday, Jeffie. Sorry for what we’ve done last year,” Wes and David planted themselves on both his sides, missing the quick glare Nick gave them when they pushed him aside.

“What did they do last year?” Lewis asked first, throwing an arm over Nick’s shoulders.

The other three laughed, more or less comically. “We – _accidentally_ – threw him in the school’s pool,” Wes looked over at them, a grin plastered on his face.

“ _Accidentally_ – with all his school work,” David mocked a wince. “We didn’t mean it! We thought he was somebody else!”

“They didn’t know me then,” Jeff smiled at the two, but it was clear in his eyes that he only wanted to make sure Nick didn’t worry (too much).

“Yeah. In fact, that’s when they started bugging him,” Trent peeked over them, pointing at the two seniors. Nick felt like in history class, for a moment.

“Somebody, help me,” Miles wined from a few metres ahead on the dark alley and they laughed, but nevertheless went to drag a very happy Thad off him.

Needless to say, Nick immediately broke free of his roommate’s touch and regained his place beside the blond. In turn, Jeff was looking around at the lights of the streets, apparently searching for something. He didn’t know for what. Few places were still open at this hour in that area. When they got near some benches, though, he stopped.

“Guys, wait,” he shook his hand in the air until they all turned. With a swift motion to the benches around, Jeff broke from their group. “I’ll be right back.” And with a grin, he was off on another dark alley of the same park.

 _That...can’t be safe_ , Nick thought and took another breath before rising up abruptly. “Back too,” he voiced out quickly and then hurried to catch up to his boyfriend. “Where are you going?” he tried to look at his face, but there was not enough light. The darkness made him more than a little uneasy, but it went away almost entirely when Jeff’s hand found his.

“That bakery is still open, see?” he showed him a small, white shop at the corner of a street. “It’s my birthday. I’m gonna get us some cake.”

The brunet could hear his grin and he chuckled too, breathing air into the butterflies that had invaded his body with that handhold. Fortunately, the place proved, indeed, to be still open and, on their way back, they had three small bags full of different small cakes and pastries (to be fair, it was all the baker still had on sale).

“Cake!” Jeff announced cheerfully (the energy drink was speaking for him, probably) and placed the bags on an empty bench, where they were sure not to stay without company.

o0o0o

There was a chilly fog hovering over the dark-blue park and they couldn’t really see anything else beside their friends around them. David and Thad were still looking for spoons in Jeff’s backpack, even though they’ve eaten more than half of the cakes without them already. Trent was trying to find out every juicy aspect of Miles’ new-found love interest (and he had a hard time doing it) and the others were mocking either one pair or the other.

Jeff was just going to tell them to try another pocket when he felt Nick’s hand on his waist and he froze, suddenly becoming more aware of how close his boyfriend was to him, their bodies touching from shoulder to knee as they sat on the cold, wooden bench.

Nick’s hand pressed the slightest thing harder on his waist, making him involuntarily lean on his side more. Jeff imitated his gesture, breathing deeply as he could feel Nick’s warmth beneath his hand. It felt good and reassuring.

“On who’s your bet?” the brunet breathed out, close to his face, his tone amused. The others were still oblivious to them.

“Wes. I’m pretty sure he’d had them in his jacket all along,” he grinned, a sudden rush of courage making him pull Nick closer.

“Smart assumption,” the other chuckled and raised his hazel eyes towards the other’s face, which was still _so close_.

A small smile played on Jeff’s lips as he gazed at him too and they remained like that for a few moments before they both leant in, shivering a little in anticipation. Neither of them knew if that was normal, but every time they kissed, it felt different and now, it really warmed them up. A quick rush of air passed by them trying to brush that feeling away but, as Nick’s lips continued to caress his own in cursive movements, he felt closer than ever.

“More cake?”

Thad pushed the last remains of it in their faces a second after they broke away and Jeff let out a squeal he was never going to be particularly proud of. The perturber just grinned proudly, shaking the paper tray in front of them until Nick finally grabbed a kiwi tart, throwing it in his mouth quickly and looking away. Jeff was still murmuring some pep talk to himself, blushing furiously.

“Busteeed,” Lewis nagged at Nick, looking far too pleased for his liking. He didn’t even dare search the other’s grins too. He knew they were there.

“Shut up. It’s cold,” the brunet scowled at his roommate, taking another tart (well, Thad didn’t seem to be moving soon, after all) and resisting the urge to go closer to Jeff again. He needed to let him deal with his shock first (which, he guessed, was more the intrusion than being caught in the act. He hoped so, at least).


	18. Teaspoons bring happiness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nick has too much puff. Good puff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Truth be told, as I wrote this, Nick's face and all in all image had changed a lot. But no matter. Look at him as you like.

_Those peas in white sauce suddenly didn’t look as tasty as they used to, once his mother made a rather innocent remark about him still not going out to meet some girls (eventually). Andy, her three-year fiancé now, chuckled at that, but the subject was dropped, more or less, afterwards. Jeff risked a subtle glance at his sister, on his right. She, in return, blinked at him. Obviously, she knew when not to speak._

_He took a deep breath. This could be it. But it was Sunday and this was lunch and Elisabeth was there. Was that really a problem, after all? The peas tasted good. Too bad the stress has taken all of his appetite along with his courage. Well, maybe not **all** of his courage, but he needed help, so he grabbed his sister’s hand under the table. Her oblivious giggle was inaudible._

_“Um,” Jeff cleared his throat awkwardly and the two adults turned their eyes to him, smiling. What was he going to do now? “...mom,” oh, that sounded like he was complaining about something. Not good. He had to get it over with. “I have,” he held the little hand in his own tighter, “a boyfriend.” The woman blinked and placed her fork on the side of her plate, while the man seemed to not really know what to do with his smile._

“What did she say?” Nick tilted his head, placing his cheek in his palm.

With a sigh, Jeff kicked the floor again on the side of his bed and his mouth twisted into something the other wasn’t sure if it was a failed smile or an oppressed groan. “Nothing, really. I mean, I had to say it again, obviously, so I could be sure that she’d got it right, but...no, no real reaction.” It took Nick only two shifts of the mattress to get a little closer, studying his boyfriend’s profile intently. “Apart from...” the blond let a small smile play on his thin lips.

“Yeah?” the brunet spoke without intending to and kicked himself in his mind for it.

“She, um,” another thud on the carpet, “didn’t really speak to me afterwards. Not so much, at least.”

“Oh, come on...” Nick let out a distressed sigh and threw his head back, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. _Practicing our drama skills, are we, Nick?_ He huffed and shook his head a little. “Why would she...?”

Jeff goggled at him.

“Ah! I-I mean,” he threw his hands in the air hurriedly, fear in his eyes now. _Test it in your mind first, okay?_ “Why would she act like that? You said she’s nice...”

“But she is...” Jeff bit the inside of his cheek and looked at the floor. “I guess she just needs time to process it. Right...?” his smile was not at all genuine and Nick pulled him closer gently, engulfing him in a (hopefully) reassuring hug. “Guess I’ll go home next weekend too,” the blond mumbled in his chest, holding onto him.

“Okay,” Nick breathed in his hair, hugging him tighter. His plans seemed to be postponed again and again these days. He didn’t even get to give him his present yet, for God’s sake! But this was okay. For now, it was okay.

“Wanna do something after that?” Jeff’s voice was still muffled by his own T-shirt and he smiled at that. _But what...?_

“After what?” Nick raised his eyebrow just as Jeff raised his head.

“After I go and talk to her on Friday night? If I’ll talk really fast, I might have Saturday off,” he grinned. His glasses a little askew and the brunet pushed them with one hand until they were relatively straight again.

“Don’t rush it like that. Talk to her more. Make a pudding or something in the morning and spend the day with her.” His heart hurt the tiniest bit as he voiced the words out.

“But I-...” Jeff caught himself a little too late and his eyes widened at what would’ve followed. _Miss you_. That didn’t make sense, right? He was right there. _Want to spend the day with **you**_. That was better, but selfish. _Want to make pudding and talk to you all day. ...oh, God, Jeff._

Although blushing at that tiny outburst that had spoken for both of them (or would have, if Jeff finished his sentence), Nick cut his brain some slack and let it wonder how many times he could poke one’s nose before said person became aware of it. Not too many times, he guessed, smartly. He poked it once and Jeff giggled.

“Then...the weekend after this?” dark brown eyes looked at him hopefully.

 _God, yes. Wait, that’s gonna be one month too-_ “Sure, if the odds will be in our favour,” Nick grinned and let out a surprised gasp when Jeff moved quite quickly and kissed his forehead. There, another new sensation. Nick was slowly discovering Wonderland.

The door opened by the time they were relatively back in their places and an unusually distressed Miles stepped in, hugging a notebook to his chest and his mobile phone in his hand. He walked slowly over to his desk, where he placed the blue notebook and then turned to them, still clutching the phone.

“I, um, Jeff, you know...” he seemed to stop and bit his tongue to make it work properly. “I asked her out...-ish,” he gulped and finally sat down on his own bed.

He didn’t know about Jeff, but Nick’s eyes widened, as they used to do when he paid too much attention to others’ problems. A few weeks of constant visits to someone’s room are enough to give you a good insight on their roommate’s life too.

“...-ish?” was Jeff’s only answer and Nick goggled at him, in turn, clearly expecting some words of praise or _at least_ of encouragement.

The redhead groaned and let himself fall back on his bed, mumbling a curse to the ceiling. “Yes! I mean, I think so. She said okay, so I must’ve asked her something, right?”

“Do you remember...where?” Jeff continued, using the same tone and raising an eyebrow and he felt it necessary to nudge him. He only spared Nick a glance at that.

“I think so. I had the sense to note it down,” he pulled out a bit of paper from his jeans’ pocket and waved it in the air.

“Then it must mean you _did_ ask her out,” Nick came in quickly, afraid of Jeff’s apparent lack of compassion. He had yet to learn that this was the only way to keep the other literate.

“Prolly...” the reply was weak.

After that, silence fell again and Jeff, finally taking off his glasses, crawled on his bed until he sank his face in his pale-green pillow, sighing at the chilly sensation. Their luck was that, with Dalton being the prestigious school it was, their single beds were considerably bigger than the norm, so Nick hadn’t had to move in order for him to lie down.

“Is he asleep?” he heard the same blond’s muffled question some time later and stopped from tracing circles on his back.

Nick glanced over at the roommate, still in the same position as when he first let himself dive down, feet dangling over the edge. “I think so,” he whispered back.

“He’ll be better after he wakes up...or not,” he shifted his head the slightest bit so he could get a breath of fresh air over the material.

Then his bangs obstructed his vision as Nick started running his hand through his hair, but he couldn’t even fake a groan at that. “I think I can see a new colour there,” his boyfriend said, bending over him and examining his hair. Within a laugh, Jeff let out a childish ‘whee’ and then raised his head, smiling at a not-so-blurry Nick.

o0o0o

If Nick knew something for sure about his mother, it was the fact that she never ordered dessert without having an ulterior motif. So now, as she placed the freshly made and delivered slices of different cheesecakes between them on the kitchen table, Nick could only wait for the talk to begin. His mother offered him a teaspoon and took the seat across from him, looking from the cakes to his face and apparently waiting. For what, he wondered.

“Tell me about him,” Chris dipped her spoon in the raspberry flavoured slice, her expectant eyes leaving her son only for a few seconds.

“Um...what?” He gulped. He thought he had dreamt that.

She waited until she was finished with the bite before speaking again. “You wanted to tell us something last night, but your father was asleep. He’d missed half the movie, on that matter. Please tell me it’s a boy and not another vinyl record,” she pleaded, only half-expectant and went on to the next flavour: caramel macchiato.

For a moment, he nodded imperceptively to himself and then tried the raspberry one too, hazel eyes trained on the plate. _I could at least try_ , he thought and went for it. “Do you really want to talk about it?” _Please say no, please say no, please let it go_.

His mother looked at him as if he’d landed on Earth in a tornado. “You’re serious now?”

There was no escaping. _He_ let go with a sigh and took a big spoonful of chocolate cheesecake. “Okay, fine,” he threw it in his mouth, glaring at a kitchen gnome that stood innocently on the counter below the window.  There was silence. “Um...you’re not going to ask?” he swirled the teaspoon in the air.

The woman shrugged and continued with the caramel one, leaving the last flavour – pumpkin – untouched. “I don’t want to hear more than you’re comfortable saying.”

He couldn’t understand her; the pumpkin one was glorious. “Um, then I...he’s...y’know, like this,” he whirled his hands in the air, eyes wide as if expecting her to understand for a moment. “And he’s really, _really_...” he searched painfully for a word, clenching and unclenching his fists, “...really,” _don’t say cute_ , “ _Nifty_.” _Really_...? Her mother was smiling amusedly at him, an uncomfortable feeling washing over him now. “Um...he goes to Dalton too.” He hoped that helped. _What on Earth was that description, Nick?!_

Chris hummed, tapping the spoon to her lips and seemed to be thinking for some time, until she dug in the chocolate cheesecake, tasted it and returned to smirking at her awkward, hopeless, beautiful boy.

 “So you like this boy _who-shall-not-be-named_ , who has finally succeeded in bringing you at a loss for words,” she swirled her teaspoon and got some raspberry syrup on it. “Let’s see...he’s someone I haven’t met yet, I hope,” she squinted at him and Nick gave her his best puppy eyes, “and since he’s from Dalton, I guess we’ll see less of you in these weeks to come. You can have all the pumpkin, if that’s okay.”

Nicely planned escape route from her part. “Okay,” he said smiling and put the cake slice on his plate.

o0o0o

“Is Beth asleep?” the blond woman looked up at him. She was sitting cross-legged on the carpet in the smaller living room (the one with the glass-wall into the backyard), dressed in a pair of khaki linen trousers and an oversized T-shirt that seemed to be one of his.

He walked over to her with the vanilla pudding bowl and sat down. “She’s having a Disney marathon with her friend. It’s 3 pm.” Jeff handed her a spoon.

“Hm...that seems right.” Annabelle looked out of the big windows dreamily, holding the cutlery loosely in her hand. “Did you make this?” she then returned to reality and pointed at the bowl and Jeff nodded warily, hoping he hadn’t forgotten the sugar.

However, after the first spoon, she seemed to be fine with its taste, so he let out his breath, relaxing a little. They used to keep the big television in this room before, but it soon became too small, up to the point that they couldn’t seem to fit even a bigger couch in there. Now, it was the reading room, although there weren’t that many books on the four pale-blue shelves around the walls. The sun was still very up on the sky outside and Piper was enjoying the long patches of grass in the yard.

They’ve stood in silence until they’ve gotten to the bottom of the bowl and Jeff guessed that meant more than an hour had passed. When they’ve finally placed their spoons aside, his mother sighed wearily and looked at him with warm, brown eyes. He felt very small, all of a sudden.

“Jeffie...” she smiled at him lightly, but there was an unexpected dread that took hold of his body and he couldn’t return the gesture. Why was he so scared? Everything was going to be okay, right? “...you look like I’m about to drive over you with a truck. Hay and...all the stuff that comes with it. Come here,” she put her arm over his shoulders and pulled him to her chest. “Look at me, I’m wearing your middle school T-shirt and it’s still too big for me. What did you think I was going to do? I never knew silence scared you so much.”

Her thin fingers were caressing his hair as he sank deeper in the embrace, forming phrases in his head but missing the perfect timing to say them. “I’m okay,” he managed to say and his voice sounded a lot more confident than he actually was.

“’Course you are. You’re in love,” she smiled into his blond hair and then leant back a little to look him in the eyes. “Look at you. You can’t even see straight anymore.”

“That’s not funny, mom,” he chuckled, moving his features to make his glasses stand out.

Her hand was, surprisingly, warm when it touched his face and his smile dropped a little, imitating hers. “You must know that it’s perfectly fine...” _but_ , he continued for her mentally, “but I’ll need some time to grow used to it.” His small gesture of biting his lips did not go unnoticed for her. “Both the boyfriend thing and,” she made a pause and let a smile creep on her face, “...and the my-baby-is-grown-up-and-in-love-now thing.”

“If anything goes, I feel smaller,” Jeff grinned half-heartedly at her before she patted his slightly rosy cheek.

“That’s understandable,” Annabelle finally gave in to the much-repressed urge and pinched his cheek, chuckling at the childish groan.

o0o0o

“ _Outside the cars are beeping out a song just in your honour_ ,” _Why is it so hard to find a T-shirt in here?!_ He didn’t give up, though. “ _And though they do not know it, all mankind are now your brothers_.” _Gotcha!_

Humming the next few lyrics, he pulled it over his head, letting the simple Batman sign come into view once it was all smoothened out. It usually was a lucky one. He hoped it hadn’t chosen this day to change its mind.

“God, _my hair_!” a wail erupted from his throat once he reached the bathroom and Miles looked at him over his comic book. “Oh God, oh God, oh God...”

“It looks...natural? Relax, man,” the redhead met his eyes and was not affected by the helplessness in them as he talked.

“I can’t relax... _Why is it not sticking down?!_ Oh, God...” Jeff ran both his hands through his hair a _few_ times (Miles was sure he didn’t break the low hundreds), groaning every time his bed hair was stubbornly sticking in every direction again. “That’s it, I’m gonna go buy wax. Now.”

“Jeff,” his friend pressed on the word, letting the comic fall in his lap. “You’ve got less than 10 minutes to get out of this room,” he winced at the sound that came out of the other’s mouth, “Calm down and just go like this. You’re looking just fine. God, I feel like I’m talking to my little sister.”

“You don’t even have a little sister!” Jeff was standing on one foot, tying his shoelaces in perfect balance, but still looking distressed.

“Well, you do!” Miles huffed back, crossing his arms over his chest.

“That doesn’t even make sense-” he widened his brown eyes at him, but right then his alarm clock started ringing and he rushed to it, one red Converse still hanging untied. “Gosh,” he resumed to his shoes once he’d shut it off the.

“Now try walking down the hall,” his friend muttered behind his retrieved comic book.

Jeff only gave him a withering look. “Do I look like I’m wearing heels?”

Blue eyes peeked over the coloured pages, judgemental. “ _No_ , you look like you’re not early for a date.”

“I thought early was bad,” the blond’s features dropped for a moment, while he took a long breath of air.

“You’re the one who said that. But just...go. You _know_ he’s gonna be early. Go.”

“But my hair-”

“ _Go_.”

And gone he was. The hallway was certain degrees colder than his room, even though the windows were opened inside there, and he felt his arms grow cold quickly. That was good; he felt better when his hands were cold, for some reason. Almost more confident. Still, he hugged his bleached black T-shirt closer to his body, inhaling deeply when he saw Nick waiting on the first step of the 2nd floor’s staircase. His heart went savage on its own accord.

He pondered saying ‘hi’, as he hadn’t yet been seen, but then he guessed just jumping into a random subject would help in dispersing the eventual tension (God, his hair gave him a lot of tension right about then). However, his body proved, yet again, to be faster than his mind and his hand reached out and played a little in Nick’s hair before he could be properly aware of what it was doing.

 _Why can’t I have David Tennant hair too?_ He almost glowered at the messy tuft of black hair, but his expression suddenly changed when the other turned to look at him with a small smile.

“You’re early,” Jeff said, as if there was anything new or unexpected in that.

“I like being early,” Nick grinned despite having his heart pound forcefully against his chest as he felt his boyfriend’s fingertips go deeper into his hair.

o0o0o

The sun hid itself behind the countless clouds above them and they stopped in the middle of a deserted alley between some apartment buildings. They’ve left Dalton Academy around two hours before and something made them go by public transport. What, they had no idea. Especially not Nick.

“I’m so sorry!” the brunet wailed at the empty street, his face sad and hopeless and slightly freaked out. Jeff was holding it together more easily, well enough to giggle a little at the cute reaction.

“It’s okay, Nicky,” he responded amusedly, the nickname catching Nick’s attention quicker than anything else could. However, like usual, he didn’t complain verbally.

They stared at each other for some time, until the shorter teen’s composure was lost again. “I can’t believe I got us lost _today_ , of all the days.”

“It’s okay,” Jeff repeated himself, holding his hand tighter.

“But it was our first-...”

“Oh, come on. Here,” the blond pretended not to listen and dragged him on another alley to their right, hoping his glasses were not failing him now. The sun remained hidden, but he could swear he saw something shiny and red in the distance.

When they got to that point, Jeff straightened his back victoriously and smiled at the sight. In between the few silent buildings lied a small, children’s park, with a few swings and a sand pool. Some looked quite old, some relatively new, but as Jeff pulled Nick after him further, he knew exactly where he wanted to go.

At the other end of the playground was a circular web swing, lying there, quite unused and quite roomy. It was perfect, Jeff thought. “I’ve missed these,” he said as he sat carefully on it, feet on the ground as not to let it move yet.

Nick sighed forlornly, thinking only of how much he wished they weren’t in this situation today. It should have been sweet and nice and at least a little bit perfect and yet here they were, in the middle of an unknown part of Columbus, with Jeff trying to save the day. “I’m sorry,” he whispered again, but he was pulled down on the blue swing before he could even think of saying something else.

The web circle started swinging back and forth as Jeff’s feet were no longer on the ground, his body too busy with holding Nick close to his chest for the moment. It was good that the sudden movement had rocked them forcefully enough to keep moving this long.

“Jeffie...” the brunet mumbled, realising only too late that his lips were so very close to the other’s neck, and looked up at him, still unconvinced, still scolding himself unimaginatively.

“Nick, you’re worse than Steve Rogers! Cheer up a bit,” the blond laughed as he broke the embrace to hit his feet on the ground, setting them in motion again.

“You shouldn’t talk about Captain America while you have Batman on your shirt...” Nick replied in a mock-offended tone, crossing his arms while staying on his back in the moving swing.

“And why is that?” Jeff raised an eyebrow at him and smirked when his boyfriend blushed at his own lack of comic-knowledge. Caught in the act.

In the next many tens of minutes, they’ve both found out a few things and made secret mental lists and promised to remember them all. The first was that that swing was quite comfortable and it went on after that.

1)      Nick’s awfully hairy and fluffy kitten was still to reach America. The departure day was not yet known.

2)      Jeff was days away from locking himself indoors and away from his games in order to study for the SAT. Nick guessed he’d better prepare for that too.

3)      Nick was dreadfully ticklish. Jeff found that out after a very unintentional touch between them.

4)      They were in feeling an intense need for sugar.

And many more were left there or waiting to be discovered, but as they looked at the sky, they both blinked and stopped talking. “Has it always been this dark?” Nick pointed at the big cloud above them, dominating the blue.

“Um...I don’t think so,” Jeff gulped. “We’re hopeless.”

“Fortunately,” Nick chuckled breathily.

“What do you mean by that?” the other laughed, tilting his head to the side to look at him.

The brunet shrugged. “Let me be optimistic, okay?”

“Okay,” he giggled and intertwined their fingers, noticing with a content sigh that now Nick’s hands were cold too. “So if we’re going to be drenched by the end of the day no matter what we do...Where should we go?”

The other seemed to try to hold his thought for some moments before he spoke. “We could...” he looked away from the blond’s eyes, suddenly hyper-aware of their hands touching, for some reason, “... _walk_ to my place, if you want.”

“I don’t remember it being around here,” Jeff squinted at the clouds, viewing the car ride from when he’d driven Nick home a month ago.

“Well...” he chuckled awkwardly, “it’s not. It’s on the other side of the city. S-slightly beyond the city limit, actually...” Why did they have to have their house on the new neighbourhood? _Snobs_.

“Oh...” _Bad suggestion_ , Nick thought as he watched Jeff’s mind work out the possibility. “Okay, then,” he surprised him with a smile. “Let’s go, then.”

Nick was yet again having a hard time believing this was _really_ his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I


	19. This is not a real day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bluh anniversaries.

If anything, Nick’s home was quite different from what Jeff’s expected. He’s always thought his house was slightly stern-looking on the outside, just like those of his neighbours, so the building before them surprised him. The front garden was not larger than the one he had at home, but there were quite a few flower bushes opposite the parking spot. He couldn’t see too much of the inside just yet, but, then again, he couldn’t see pretty much anything through his stained glasses and the energetic rain pouring down on them.

It was only after Nick opened the front door and pushed them both inside that he realised just how cold he was. Nevertheless, his teeth soon started to chatter and he became aware of a middle-aged woman’s presence that was already talking to Nick before they even had the chance to properly take their shoes off. He barely had a moment to remark that she looked nothing like the boy when he was patted on his soaking wet shoulder.

“Come on, we’d better get changed,” Jeff heard the other and then, without being given the chance to greet the mentioned woman, he was pulled up the stairs and they quickly disappeared behind the first door.

Having been calmed a little by the warm air around, the blond allowed himself to look around again, overly-aware of how his clothes stuck uncomfortably to his body. Nick’s room was quite simple and strangely clean, compared with the one back at Dalton (after all, over the last few weeks, Nick was not the only one who spent quite a remarkable amount of time in a different room). Here, everything was neutral, blue-grey colours hanging around the walls and furniture and only a small space was allocated to some CDs, beside the bed. He tried not to acknowledge the bed’s presence too much (because this was _Nick’s bed_ , not some impersonal sleeping place that Dalton has given him). _Just playing it safe._

When Nick came back into view, Jeff was eager to accept the dry towel that was handed to him. _I wonder if he’s warmed it beforehand_.

“These too,” Nick grinned as he handed the other a seemingly untouched pair of sweatpants and a burgundy shirt.

“Thanks,” Jeff accepted the clothes and then just stood there, blinking.

“Bathroom’s over there,” the brunet pointed without turning to a door behind him, blinking right back.

“Right...”

“Yeah...”

“...”

“Do you want me to-”

“No! No, it’s okay!” and he evaporated into said room, leaving a slightly unfocused Nick standing in the middle of the bedroom.

He was now mingling with the dry clothes he’s picked for himself, but his mind was certainly going places. It didn’t really have a map or an evil plan of frustrating him this time, either. He was just having problems focusing, for a while.

But damn it, that didn’t stop him from hearing Jeff take his clothes off in his bathroom behind him. _His_ bathroom! This, more than anything, reminded him with such a powerful force that man, he really did have a boyfriend. _I wonder if Lewis was actually serious about those condoms he said he’s hid in my bags._

Something that was not really as painful as it should have been twisted in his stomach and he hid his face instinctively in the brown T-shirt in his hands. Right, he had to get changed too, and fast. _And no more inappropriate thoughts for tonight, Nick!_ Yeah, if only...

o0o0o

What else? Oh, yeah, Jeff was _not_ wearing his clothes. Nope. No way. It wasn’t as if he’s worn that shirt only a week before. Right, Jeff was not wearing his clothes and Nick certainly didn’t want to lock the door and hold him very, very close. Maybe he was developing a sense of humour, who knew?

“I guess it’s good that your pants are usually too long,” Jeff looked down at his feet and Nick had to agree: this was how somebody should look while wearing that article of clothing, not stomping over his feet in the abundance of material. But then again, these were _not_ his sweatpants, to be remembered.

Jeff was by now chewing on his lower lip and he recognised that look. It was the _I said something stupid and I’m sorry and you wouldn’t kick a puppy, right?_ one. “Better?” Nick only smiled as a response to that face, knowing that there was no other way of survival than changing the subject. He swirled two glasses in his hands. “Here you go. Melinda is over-protective, so we have to take rain-medication.”

With a simple look, the blond grabbed his still-fizzling drink and downed half of it at once. It tasted like meds, true enough. “Rain-medication? Was that your mom? And was I really that long in the bathroom?” Okay, that came out a little too quickly.

“Normal people call them cold meds. No, she is our house maid and yes, a little,” Nick smiled at him, totally unaware of how that gesture made Jeff’s heart pump blood more quickly. _Control your face, dammit!_

“Oh...okay.” He poured the rest of it down his throat too, only to regret it immediately when he realised not the entire pill had dissolved by then.

Now, he felt like he should either find another topic or sit down. Usually, sitting down was good, but, in this case, it would’ve meant that Nick’s bed had won the fight and he would act like the exact opposite of a weeping angel. Nonetheless, Jeff sat down on it, in the end and Nick quickly followed, placing himself closer than he’d wanted.

Like the exquisite host that he was, the teen was just about to open his mouth and talk about something deep and thoughtful (like the weather) when the same thing (the weather, obviously) decided to give him an impulse. Like this, even though his curtains were almost fully drawn, the lightning’s effect reflected on both their faces and then they grimaced at a way-too-powerful-to-be-safe thunder.

“Thor’s discovered Loki’s horse figurines,” Jeff hissed at the loud noise and shrugged innocently when Nick gave his statement a questioning look.

The brunet turned, afterwards, back to his own mental Scrabble. This looked around right. “Would you stay the night, if...” _Oh, that was the problem. What did you want to say, Nick?_

Fortunately, Jeff was still looking at the small piece of sky he could perceive through the curtains (that, until Nick found mercy in his heart and fully opened them) and didn’t catch his embarrassed look. “Is it okay?” he barely muttered, his eyes hidden away by the light reflected in his glasses. “I mean I want to, but...I mean, do you want me to stay to or...Sorry, that was stupid. You asked me, so of course you do. God, that came out wrong too. Um...yeah, I’d like too.” _Finally_. The resulted smile was adorably goofy.

“Then it’s settled. I’ll tell mom when she gets home.” Nick was more or less beaming, true enough.

“When she what?”

“When she gets home.”

“...”

“...”

“...”

“Dad will be home too, later...”

“Ugh...”

 _That sounded like a very painful battle wound_ , the brunet thought as he inspected his boyfriend’s facial expression. Maybe it was his imagination, but he thought he was getting paler. “Jeff?”

“Ummm...”

He knew it wasn’t the most compassionate thing to do, but Nick found himself chuckling before shoving a few wet strands of hair from the blond’s face. This was good, this was very good; Jeff had to stay because he just _had to_ (or so Nick’s mind and/or hormones were telling him) and he wasn’t going to let him take his word back. Moreover, he was kind of sure that his parents weren’t going to cause any big problem (this, in itself, should have prevented him that his brain was in stand-by, but who cared about that at the time?).

“Everything’s going to go smoothly.”

o0o0o

“ _There’s a meat market down the street_.” This sounded a lot funnier that it was supposed to and Jeff found himself laughing into the song along with Nick, but kept pressing the piano keys. “ _The boys and girls watch each other eat._ ” And seriously, this piano was gorgeous and bigger than his own and Nick was telling him nobody in that house played? Well, except for his mom, but from what he’s heard, she was quite busy most of the time. “ _The boys and the girls watch each other eat when they really wanna watch each other_ ,” he glanced at the other for support in the next part, but just at that time they heard a new set of steps down the hallway and only Jeff froze in place.

The woman on the doorstep was dressed in a fitting Chanel dress and she clearly didn’t look like she’s been outside in the rain apart from the few raindrops on her equally stylish white shoes. _Oh, God, Jeff, you’ve been out shopping with your mom too many times._ Why was he observing _this_ when he should’ve been afraid for his life?

“I thought Melinda was pulling a prank on me when she said we have guests, but look at this,” she smiled and approached them as Jeff quickly rose from the piano bench. “Chris. Nice to meet you,” she extended her hand towards him and Jeff found himself at a loss wondering whether he should shake it or touch it or God knows what.

“Ah...um...Jeff,” he barely avoided knocking her hands with his own as he went for the handshake, in the end. Why wasn’t Nick helping?!

“I wouldn’t lie.” Talking about the wolf. “Um, mom...this is Jeff,” he fidgeted a little on his spot.

“He just told me that,” Chris grinned mischievously at her son, evidently enjoying the situation and then returned her gaze to an unfortunate Jeff.

Nick found himself envying Jeff for his lack of experience with the woman by now, as he knew exactly what she was doing. _Yes, mom, those **are** my clothes. Stop staring. Stop staring. Stop smiling. Please, don’t say anything inappropriate._

“Lucky,” she then echoed like a verdict and the two boys looked at her with wary. “I was talking about you, Twinkle Toes,” she then winked at Nick who turned a pretty shade of pink.

“Mom!” he puffed and this, more than anything, relaxed Jeff.

“Thank you for giving me a subject to make my son shut up from time to time, Jeff,” Chris smiled more mother-likely then. “But okay, I’ll be out of your way ‘til dinner. Have fun,” she patted the blond’s cheek gently and winked once more at Nick and then she was gone, going up the stairs, her heels knocking the floor soundly.

Nick took a deep breath once another door was shut upstairs. “...she could’ve been worse.”

“Twinkle toes.”

“Shut up, she watched that with me when I was sick a few years ago.”

 _He’s pouting. He really is._ Jeff felt like he’s won at the national lottery. “Shall we resume playing? I have a lot more songs from Lulu’s repertoire in mind,” he grinned, clearly not forgetting the abandoned subject.

 _You’ll regret that_ , the brunet thought as he half-glared at his grin. “I was thinking about something else, in fact,” he started, innocently looking around.

“Like what?” Jeff blinked, his own evil mood dissipating before it even got bad.

This time, it was Nick’s time to smirk knowingly at him.

“What?” Jeff went on, expression slightly worried.

“Hmm,” the other kept his smirk on and started walking slowly outside the piano room.

“What? Come on, tell me!”

Nick only chuckled. He was evil like that. Evil and improvising.

o0o0o

_This was so totally not my plan._

_This beats by 1000 miles playing songs downstairs_.

Jeff let himself sink deeper into the pillow, his hands fumbling over Nick’s shirt while his fingers started to tingle again. Truth be told, he too doubted that this was what his boyfriend had had in mind when he dragged him back upstairs, but he was enjoying this too much to complain. Why should he, anyway?

 _Good thing the walls are thick_ , the blond tilted his head to the side and the gesture had immediately paid off. They weren’t even especially noisy, though, but everything that could deal with his paranoia was welcomed to his mind. The locked door, more than anything.

His breath shuddered as Nick nibbled gently at his lower lip and Jeff opened his eyes to the evening’s darkness. Needless to say, the storm hadn’t stopped. With a faint creak on the mattress, the brunet leant in again until their noses were touching and stood there, gazing down at him. _This doesn’t feel like a first date_ , Jeff had the mind to remark, but after being so close for so many weeks, it never even had the chance the feel that way anymore.

“Dinner’s ready,” somebody knocked on the door and their foreheads bumped awkwardly before Nick downright jumped from where he stood on top of him.

“Coming,” the same boy answered and, exceptionally, his voice didn’t break. However, that didn’t mean he wasn’t furiously blushing now.

 _This is more like it_ , Jeff exhaled as his body relaxed once again. He only wondered how was he going to eat decently while his lips were numb.

“Um...Jeff,” Nick turned back to him, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and fiddling with his T-shirt.

“Yeah?” as he sat on the edge of the bed, the blond’s eyes shot right up at him and the other, after a few seconds of staring, grabbed something from the nightstand. “Oh...thanks,” Jeff smiled after Nick placed his glasses back on his nose. Yeah, definitely better now.

“So...um, dinner. Yeah, um, my dad will be awkward...just be yourself,” he fought with himself to sound encouraging, but he was pretty sure he’d had the exactly opposite effect.

“Are you sure about that?” Jeff forced a laugh, holding tightly unto the sheets, thinking of in how much need of a mirror he was before he could even think about going down the stairs. “My hair...,” he mumbled while he still looked around for one.

“Looks fine,” Nick finished for him and ran his fingers through his bangs as a last statement. “Let’s go,” he took his hand and walked to the door, only to stop with his other hand on the knob. “And if they talk too much...just think that they’ll stop, sooner or later.”

“Comforting,” Jeff took a shaky breath and held on to his hand tighter.

o0o0o

For some reason or another, Jeff felt really exposed once he got to the kitchen (apparently, Nick had insisted on not using the dining room). Maybe it was the light, maybe it was the table cornered by empty chairs, he didn’t know. Everything was more or less in plain sight too, aside from the food, but Chris was only looking outside the window.

“I’m really sorry for your day, boys. The weather is just awful,” she said without turning to face them. Surely, the only direction the storm was going to now was worse. And it was awfully dark outside, Jeff realised once again.

“Mom’s half-English,” Nick elbowed him playfully, grinning when his mother glared mockingly at him.

“That has nothing to do with it,” she then laughed. “And I hope that wasn’t an innuendo about my cooking,” she turned her gaze back to Nick, who giggled and took Jeff to the table.

While the woman started to take out the food from numerous magic cupboards she held in the kitchen, talking quite cheerfully about all kinds of things, Jeff could feel himself relaxing in the atmosphere. Of course, no sooner had he realised this that Nick’s dad entered the kitchen too. He had been warned, but since there had been no sounds (that Jeff could’ve heard – of course – while he was engrossed in making out with Nick), he kind of hoped that the man wasn’t home yet.

“Guests?” the man smiled as he took his seat at one end of the medium-sized table (for safety reasons, the two boys stood on the same side, just in case one of them would need moral support or anything).

Nick cut in before his mother had the opportunity to do so. “Yeah! Dad, this is Jeff,” he motioned to the blond.

 _Should I shake his hand? What if I knock that glass over? Should I get up? Go over to him?_ In the end, Jeff only nodded politely as the man smiled at him calmly. Good, good, he would get out alive. Maybe.

“Friend from school?” the father asked as he raised a glass of water to his mouth, still looking at the guest, probably just because of his manners. _Yeah, Jeff, there’s nothing wrong with you._

“Um...” Nick bit his lip and Chris smiled down at him as she put a plate of artichokes on the table and finally sat down too. Not intending to save her son now, she started distributing the food to their plates. “Yeah, kind of...He’s my boyfriend,” he spluttered out, almost choking over his own gut. Jeff’s hand held onto his fingers so hard the circulation was cut off almost entirely. Déjà-vu.

“Oh,” the man blinked at his son, then his eyes travelled over to Jeff and stared at him for a bit. “Okay, um,” his eyes fell on his plate and he started cutting the vegetables, looking at them as if they were some new kind of aliens.

 _There’s the family resemblance_ , Jeff thought before thanking the woman and looking at his plate too. _Wow, so much salad._

“Where will he sleep?”

“Dad!”

o0o0o

They ran through dessert swiftly and Jeff had his first encounter with green tea tiramisu. What a strange thing to eat, really, but it was actually good, if a little spicy in a way that made his tongue feel funny. Or maybe it was because of Nick. No, it must have been the tea leaves in the cream.

“For, um, how long...?” Nick’s father tried to speak again later that dinner, stealing glances at his son.

“A month,” Nick admitted, averting his eyes in embarrassment at his secret. His mother almost cooed over him.

And then, when they had nothing before them except some fresh beverages Melinda helped Chris prepare, Jeff knew he had to prepare. No matter what others said, he could recognise a look in someone’s eyes when he saw it. And Nick’s parents had been holding off questions the entire dinner already.

“So...are you boarding, Jeff?” Nick’s father started.

“Yeah, I’m sharing a room with a friend.” He _had_ to mention that, right?

The man nodded. “School’s okay?”

“Ye-”

“Oh, cut the boy some slack, that’s not what you’re supposed to ask, Harold,” the mother cut him off, placing her chin in her hands. “How’s Nick, Jeff?” she smiled sweetly.

“He’s, um...” Jeff looked at his right and pointed at the other boy, “...right here.” He blinked and the parents laughed. Both of them! _Amazing!_

“Nick said you’re a whirlpool,” Chris reproduced her son’s hand movements from their last talk and Nick started to grow redder. “And _nifty_ ,” she finished with a small chuckle.

“ _Nifty_?”

“Sorry,” Nick as well as sank in his seat.

“So how’s he?” the woman pressed further, eyes sparkling in delight. Her husband had the sense to let her have her way for another moment.

“Ah...um...” _Don’t say nice, Jeff._ What was he supposed to say? Suddenly, nifty didn’t sound so bad anymore. Actually, it sounded too good for him to contest it.

“Like this?” the woman whirled her hands again.

“No, no,” Jeff laughed, relaxing a little. “He’s...”

“Right here,” Nick repeated the blond’s words. “Mom!” he pleaded.

“Okay, okay. Did you give him the present, Nick?” Chris smiled at her son now, who froze in his seat.

“I forgot.”

“You forgot.”

“What did you forget?”

“What did he forget?”

“Um...” Nick raised his eyes again. “I’ll give it to you after dinner,” he glanced at Jeff.

The blond stared back at him with a confused expression. “Dinner’s over,” the woman almost sang as she stared happily at both of them.

“Okay, let’s go. Thanks,” Nick grabbed his boyfriend’s hand again and looked back at his parents before fleeing the room.

“So where will they sleep?” Harold glanced worriedly at his wife, once the sound of footsteps disappeared.

“Oh, shut up,” she grinned back.

o0o0o

“Here,” Nick turned from his bedside table and handed Jeff a small present, wrapped up in dark blue paper. Or so he remembered it to be. _Turn on the light, Nick. Right_. He did so. “For your birthday,” he added while he got down from the chair (don’t laugh, but one of the light switches in his room really _was_ that high).

“Oh!” It now clicked. “Oh...wow, thanks, I didn’t remember,” Jeff grinned at the present, still convincing himself to open it. But it was his first...wrapped present from Nick. He just wanted to look at it for more time. No, he didn’t.

“Me neither. I’m sorry,” the brunet walked over to him and waited white chewing his lower lip. _I should have gotten him something. Like, really **buy** the present. It’s too little. I know it is._

The wrapping paper was already a little crumbled and Jeff’s heart raced at the thought that Nick had prepared it on his own. _Or maybe that’s only the pattern, Jeff_. Finally, he got to the bottom of it and looked at a red book. _Oh. OH!_

“I love those,” he glanced at Nick while he turned his present in his hands. Opening it, he saw that some of the pages were already written on.

“I...I didn’t finish it, but I looked through it and I thought you might like it. I mean, you said you liked the things in my notebooks so I...um, sorry, maybe it was dumb. Was it? Please tell me it wasn’t. It wasn’t, right?” They were both grinning at each other by the end of it.

“Thank you,” Jeff held the...non-book at his chest and jumped a little in his place. _Very cool on your part, Jeff. He’s enthralled._

“...Happy birthday?” the other tried, his grin getting wider.

“Happy one month?” the blond asked back and his boyfriend’s eyes widened. _Wow, he knew. He remembered. Wow._ This was only getting better. Well, until they’d get to sleep.

 

 


	20. Metaphorical flirting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, my, the humanity.

“You slept with him on your first date?! Man, I don’t know if I should be proud or scared...”

“Lewis, listen to me-”

“Wait, you what?! Date? Slept with?! What the hell are we talking about?”

“Cade, calm down...”

Why did he even think about opening his mouth? Pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration, Nick sighed to himself and tried to make a plan of talking further. More than anything, he felt really bad about _omitting_ to tell Cade about his relationship. _God, why didn’t you?! I don’t know, I guess I just...gosh_. Yep, at this part, he was an asshole. But he hadn’t slept with anybody! Yes, that could go first.

“I haven’t...slept with him,” he sighed again and looked at Lewis, who was looking at him with amusement from his bed. Calmly, he decided to think the others were little children and make his work easier. “We’d just shared a bed...we didn’t even touch.” Wrong. They’ve cuddled. A lot. And after that came Jeff’s already known habit of strangling people in his sleep. Nick was only lucky that he realised hugging back made him less...fierce.

“But who-”

“ _Jeff_ , Cade,” Nick almost groaned at himself and hid his face in his hands.

Then, of all things that could’ve happened, silence fell. And it lasted a lot, more than he’d expected. Well, he figured that as long as he had his face hidden, nothing really bad could happen to him. Wishful thinking, of course, but efficient for his stressed nerves.

“...really?”

At that time, Nick tuned and his best friend’s face was scrunched in something between bewilderment, incredulity and, more than anything, confusion.

“Oh, well, then I’m off. Don’t kill each other while I’m away,” Lewis looked from one teen to the other and went outside the room after retrieving his mobile phone from the bedside table. One distraction less. The last one.

“I’m sorry,” the brunet began to say as his eyes dropped to the floor, but the silence continued a little more.

That, until Cade whispered almost as if to himself. “So I really _am_ a good matchmaker,” and then he stopped. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

 _Okay, okay, this is good, right? He’s energetic, at least. Hopefully, he won’t attack you_. “I...I don’t know! Really. I guess, I never got the right moment to do it. I’m sorry!” He waved his hands in the air defensively.

“How long?!”

“A month!” _Five weeks._

God, that sounded awful. _Five weeks of lies, Nick. Lies! Okay, stop being over-dramatic._

“Oh, my God!” Wow, he sure was cheery. Cade then stared intently at his face until he could feel his gaze burning into his skin. Wow, super powers. “I’m not gonna forgive you for that, but oh, my God. Nick!”

“What?”

“You kissed someone!” The other jumped on the edge of the bed, grinning widely.

“I never said I did!” Nick responded, his tone a little higher to match the conversation. It was as if they were in a loud club, only without the...loudness. And the people. Yeah, scratch the people out too.

“You mean you didn’t?” Cade stopped from his enthusiastic small movements and budged his eyes at his friend.

Nick never liked blushing in front of his best friend, but nobody could have it all. “I did, but that’s not the point...”

“Man, I gotta tell Jane about this,” the other laughed while kicking his feet in the air. “So you’re gonna go on Wesley’s trip together too! Do you have any plans?”

Yes, about that. Wes’ trip was something that had come out of the blue (though some of them expected it since Regionals happened) and it was going to take place the weekend after their last finals. Not fun, but for sure funnier than if it had been before that.

Nick already felt the exam stress’ effect each day when he only saw Jeff in French, English or Art. Or in the hallways. Anything after or before that, it was a _study quarantine_. _Well, he’s probably gonna be the Valedictorian next year, after all_ , he tried to convince himself as he opened his own text books at night, but it didn’t really help.

And so, after hell week would be over, Wes invited some of them to accompany him to New York. He didn’t give any reasons at first, but they soon figured out it was because of Nationals and because come on, Rachel Berry was there. So, out of pity and because it was New York, they had accepted. It’s not like they lacked the financial fund.

“Not really. I just want to get through exams alive first,” Nick replied, falling back on the bed and covering his face with a pillow. “Wheh dowz yow maoum cowm?”

“What?”

He kicked the pillow aside. “When does your mother come?”

“For me?”

“No, for Santa,” Nick yawned. He was too tired for a Tuesday.

“I’d like you to know that Santa is a respectable man. But she’s coming soon, don’t worry. I won’t be here if you want to do your lovey-dovey things.” His grin was more than mischievous.

“I only allow you two comments per day.” More than that, and Nick would he hit by the strong wave of missing again.

“Weekend’s special?”

“You wish.”

o0o0o

“Where are you right now?” Blue eyes glanced over a dozen textbooks and the other threw away through some scribbled papers.

“Shakespeare? Something around there, I think...” Jeff tried to find the original book from which he had started to read, but his desk was housing quite a lot of other subjects too.

“You think? And why Shakespeare? I thought we were studying Physics,” Miles put down his notebook and waited for his friend to reply.

Damn, the light from outside was growing dim and he couldn’t afford another sleepless night, no matter his practice at staying awake throughout the year. Why was everyone so stiff during exams? Oh, right...

“Ye-aaah, we _were_ studying Physics, but I can handle that one. I have a final tomorrow and I can’t even tell the difference between Hamlet and Macbeth!”

“Really?” the redhead raised an eyebrow.

Sinking down in his chair, Jeff sighed and let the papers fall back on the desk. “Well, not really. I can, but...I just...Gosh, there is too much to learn!”

“But you’ve already learnt it once. Calm down a little...” He knew Jeff usually tended to freak out during their finals, but the added subjects were turning the usual study days into two weeks of agony. Well, at least the SAT was gone. Hopefully, with success.

“I _am_ calm.” Maybe he’d pressed too much on his words. _Let’s try again_. “What should I revise now?”

Miles started unwrapping a Twix bar. “Um...take a nap and let Shakespeare sink in and then I’ll wake you up and we can turn to Biology?” Oh, sugary goodness in his mouth!

After staring at him for a few seconds, Jeff let out a strangled whimper that almost made the caramel bitter in the other’s mouth. “I don’t want to nap. It’ll take me out of study mood...”

“You’ll get back into it afterwards...”

“No.” He was pouting and frowning at the same time by now.

“Just...go to sleep.” Miles sighed and started on the second bit of candy. Maybe he should’ve slept a little too, but he didn’t really have Jeff’s brains to afford to do that.

“No. You know what? Dingleberries,” Jeff crossed his hands over his chest and stared in his notebooks again.

Apparently calm, but looking confused, his friend waited until the food was well down his throat in order to speak again. “Did you just dingleberry sleep?”

“Yes, I did. Let’s start on Biology now.” That particular subject required him three borrowed library books. It didn’t look like fun at all for someone who didn’t like it. Good thing it was in Jeff’s top 6 subjects.

“You’re hopeless...”

o0o0o

 _Come on, come on, 200 metres more!_ All these years he’s been kind of slouching at the back of the PE class when his presence wasn’t required, so this was unusual, being one of the firsts in line at running around the gym. He didn’t even realise just how _big_ this thing was until now, though he thought he should have, during the Regionals’ dance practice.

 _It’s a miracle my lungs still work_ , he looked down at his shirt, inhaling in between steps, just enough to keep himself going. _What do you mean by that? They’re perfectly healthy, of course they work!_ Oh, God, but his legs were burning so bad by now. Well, at least the coach has given him an approving glance when he finally collapsed on a bench. Bless the man who’d invented benches.

“Man, what’s gotten into you?” Cade dragged himself close to him (even though he had given up at the second round, so he had no reason to complain about muscle pains) and offered him a much-desired bottle of water.

“David...” Gulp. “Said...” Gulp. Breath. “It would help me...” Gulp. “Calm down.” Breath. Nick was pretty sure he’d never drunk better water than that.

“Calm down?” The other snatched the bottle from his hands, but it was too late, seeing as it was already empty. He resigned to his fate and continued to look at his friend.

“Exam stress. It’s getting to me,” Nick breathed out, gazing absent-mindedly at the rest of the boys still jogging around.

“Yeah, well...Tell me about it. My room is full of calculus and other kinds of rubbish I can’t wait to get rid of and, above all that, I haven’t seen Jane in _four days_!”

It wasn’t the most considerate thing to do, but Nick couldn’t help giving him an are-you-kidding-me glance. “Tough to be you...”

Since exams were at their peak now, he hadn’t seen Jeff since Thursday. THURSDAY! It was currently Tuesday. That meant almost _a week_! No, more than a week, since after sulking on his own for many hours, he’d decided that Saturdays and Sundays could be counted as two days each. Hell, he haven’t even seen him in French (somehow, he appeared to have managed to get away from that class).

 _Just a few more days, Nick_. By the end of this week, everything would be over and they’d finally be free to...um, talk. Yes, everything else would be too risky. His body was already a little out of control and damn his dreams, they were getting more and more inappropriate (not a desired thing when rooming with Lewis either).

“Don’t-...hair...” Too late. His already dampened hair had been turned into an even bigger nest. “Damn you...”

“Not my fault. You’re funny when you sulk,” Cade grinned broadly and gosh, if Nick didn’t want to make himself a cocoon out of that very comfortable bench right then.

o0o0o

“I’M FREE!”

“Jesus fuggin’ Christ, don’t scare me like that!” Ouch. How did he manage to bump his head on the bedside table? Like...it’s at the same level with the bed...just how- God, it still hurt, no matter how he did it.

“Sorry, sorry, sorry. Freedom feels so good!” Jeff twirled in a disturbingly gracious manner to his bed and changed swiftly out of his uniform (more like, battle clothes and armour) before Miles even had the opportunity to turn his sleepy head towards him.

Also, since the ginger was, as mentioned, freshly, unsuccessfully, woken up, his speech was not really matching his level of intelligence yet. If it was, he would have never said what followed. “But, um...don’t we still have, like...two more exams?”

At this, Jeff stopped in his track (he was just smoothening out a yellow polo T-shirt) and looked into an invisible time vortex with such intensity that Miles was afraid of him turning into a crazy timelord. “No, I...I mean, yes, we do, but I just feel better now.” Thank God, he smiled.

“Must mean you’re out of your stress period, you bipolar clotpole,” the other smiled too and dropped his head back in his pillow, placing his biology textbook back on his face. He then heard the door open again. “Where’re you going?” He peeked under a hardcover.

“Food. Eat. Sugar,” Jeff motioned toward the staircase and was soon outside the room. Well, more peaceful sleep for him.

After practically flying down the two sets of stairs to the dorm’s kitchen, the blond cheerfully hummed his way to the fridge, moving his fingers over a few jars of jam. Along with the rest of them (all boarding students added something to their emergency – daily, extra – food supply), he’d been especially careful not to let them run short on jam. What should he choose? _Yeah, exactly._ He felt like raspberries.

“Bread, bread, bread,” he anxiously searched the cupboards until he returned to the table successfully. “Knife, knife, knife,” he twirled once again and grabbed one (not advisable). “Butter, butter, butter.” At this, he had no problem. He knew exactly where the peanut butter was.

Now, he could start working. God, he felt like an architect. Well, maybe this wasn’t something he ought to go for when preparing a snack, but who was there to judge him? No one, the kitchen was empty, as well as the rooms around it, curiously enough.

As he was approaching the end of this task, his stomach started to twist with something else than hunger. _Okay, okay, don’t think about that until you’re up the stairs, Jeff_. Grabbing the plate, he knew that moment was getting close too.

The door was ajar. It’s always ajar, he thought. Good thing he knew what it meant by now. _Free to come in_. He let himself wonder for a second if it was just a technical issue this time. _Nah, the door’s just fine_. Still, he knocked.

“Um...it’s open?”

 _Right_. _Of course_. _You were just polite, Jeff. Okay, move your entity into the room already._ “Hi,” he smiled goofily just as he balanced the plate in his hands again after pushing the door back.

“You’re outside...” Nick goggled, unable to keep the surprise out of his voice.

Well, at least it made Jeff laugh. “Yeah, I am. What are you doing?” he then asked, looking at the papers around him.

“Um...studying?” _Nice way to make him leave. Stop it, Nick. Save the day!_ “But I’m almost done...I think. It’s fine. How are you? Are you okay?” _Wow, hold it there, blabbermouth._

“I...” Jeff blinked a few times at him before crossing the room and sitting on Nick’s bed too. “Yeah, I’m fine now. I feel _really_ good.” _Bipolar bipolar bipolar_. “Sandwich?” he held the plate closer to the brunet who, after a swift scan, grabbed one. “Do you want any help? Or...I can wait while you finish what you were reading...”

Taking a bite and freeing his right hand, however, Nick only pushed the revising materials off the bed, letting them fall unceremoniously to the floor. I was already a mess of tapes and disks over there, anyway. This was a clear enough message for Jeff to make himself comfortable.

 _This is good_ , Nick thought then as he became aware of the sweet snack he had been offered. Truth be told, he had been skipping a lot of lunch breaks these days. _Wait...,_ he narrowed his eyes at the sandwich and then glanced quickly at Jeff. _Is this a metaphor?_ It was peanut butter, after all. _Does he want to make out or...Well, you probably shouldn’t think about this right now, don’t you think?_ Ugh, he was his own biggest turn off.

“Um...” he murmured in another second of madness. _Why did you do that? What are you going to say? Abort!_ Unfortunately, Nick was worse at aborting than anyone he’s ever seen. Usually, he ended up his own grave of embarrassing lines.

“Hm...” Jeff looked at him with an innocent smile, humming in response to whatever he might have wanted to say.

“I guess that...eugh...right, um...Stop laughing...” Though he guessed it was hard to, since his tone hadn’t changed throughout all that.

“Sorry,” the blond said without really meaning it and smiled as he drew closer.

Now, Nick would be lying if he said that particular movement didn’t make a few knots in his stomach. Tight ones. That, yes, may have been a metaphor, but anyway, Jeff seemed to have observed something during this process that made him waver in his track for a moment as his pupils grew a little larger. But he went no further than that.

“...Any news from Wes?” he finally asked, straightening his back, but his voice sounded too breathy for his liking. _Keep your thoughts child-friendly, Jeff. Please, for the love of God._ But, of course, that was a hard thing to do when Nick was looking at him like that. Hell, he probably didn’t even know he was!

“What...?” the other started at his words and blinked rapidly, trying to regain his ability to put two words together. _But come on! It had been over a week...Shut up, Nick_. “He told me yesterday that we’re still leaving Saturday morning. Around...5 o’clock, I think?” He pondered taking another bite, but since he doubted he would be able to swallow it, he chose to put it back on the plate.

Half a thought later, Jeff did the same. “He’s a force of nature, being able to wake up that early after this whole week.”

“Yeah, probably...” Nick had currently decided to stare just a little more at his face. Though that might have been one of the tricks his mind played on him in order to make him touch it. Probably. In the end, he resolved to nibbling on his lower lip in an attempt to calm down.

 _Now he **must** be doing it on purpose!_ Jeff groaned internally as he fought to keep a calm exterior, which proved to be a harder task than he’d expected. He was quite new at this, but still. He used to be so happy back when his hormones were still asleep. Now he was a time bomb. Metaphorically.

“Jeff, you look like you’ve overdosed on firewhiskey,” Nick leant back slightly, an undecided smile creeping on his lips as he stared at him. God, his eyes were so dark by now. He could only guess his own were the same (he felt quite warm on the inside, after all, even though he wouldn’t have called himself exactly “filled with courage”).

“Do I?” Jeff laughed a little, releasing a breath he didn’t know when he started to hold. “Um...yeah, well...”

“Can’t be helped,” Nick blurted out, smacking himself mentally for letting words come out of his mouth on their own accord.

“Yeah, not really,” the blond offered him another grin before leaning in and kissing him for...quite a long time.

After doing this for enough times already, Jeff still couldn’t get enough of the tingling sensation that crawled up his hands and chest every single time. Come to think of it, if you’d asked him about kissing last year, he would have replied with something like “not essential for my species, but you have fun with it”.

From time to time, Nick used to remind himself that he was not going to pass out, at first. After that, though, he only let his hands wander in Jeff’s hair and let the wall behind him support his slowly dissolving body (he humoured himself with that thought, true enough). But wow, he didn’t even know Jeff could _do_ that.

 

 


	21. Short mushrooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No biggie. Hurry up and put your beds together.

When Nick woke up very early on Saturday morning to find Jeff brushing his teeth at the foot of his bed, he had to take a moment to untangle dream from reality. As a helping factor, this Jeff was fully dressed (thank God) and wasn’t showing any intention whatsoever to pin him down on his bed (just for the moment, he hoped).

Then it hit him: the possibility of Jeff watching him having an almost wet dream, regardless of who was in it, didn’t sound so good, so he held his breath for a while as they looked straight into each other’s eyes. With a hand gesture, the blond went into his bathroom and finished brushing his teeth. Why was he doing it in his room, he had no idea. It wasn’t as if they’ve slept together. Again, it was too early for Nick to deal with all these disappointments.

“Jeff?” he brought himself to ask, still sitting on his bed, his legs under the comforter.

“’Morning,” Jeff smiled and leant on his arms on the bed to kiss his cheek before handing him a bowl of cereals (seriously, how did that get there anyway?). “I would’ve never thought...”

“What? Morning,” Nick blinked, a little uneasy with the way Jeff seemed to look at the bowl on his lap.

In the end, the blond just succumbed and started eating what he had earlier presented as Nick’s breakfast. “...that cereals would taste so good with yogurt.” He swallowed, lost in thought and then took another spoonful.

Nick gave him a friendly chuckle, although a little nervous at having his boyfriend’s head so close to his hips. No, that was nothing a cold shower couldn’t help him with. “What made you try it, then?” he jogged in for a little more small talk, so it wouldn’t look as if he was dashing to the bathroom at the mere sight of him.

“Tiny bit of information from my birthday present,” Jeff winked, spoon in the air. There was strawberry yogurt in that bowl. “You used to ramble a lot more when you were little. I recall 2-page worth of you discussing toothbrushes. It was informative, if nothing else.” Nick narrowed his eyes at the blond, gaining himself time to analyse the way the other’s smile was getting guiltier by the second.

“Are we gonna be late?” the brunet eventually asked.

The answer apparently required another spoon of cereals. “Not yet. I’ve been poking you since 5 am and you got up pretty quickly.”

“5 am? And why...?” This was a little disconcerting. Nick, as far as he knew, hasn’t been sleeping in too much in his life, so he had no witnesses to tell him about any weird behaviour he had in bed. While sleeping. Of course while sleeping.

“I couldn’t sleep. We should probably be ready to go by 6.30.”

Wait.

“Weren’t we supposed to leave at 5?”

At this, Jeff grinned. “That was before Thad found out about the plan. He wouldn’t get up so early for anything except the zombie apocalypse.”

“I see...um, thanks. I’ll be ready in a few moments,” he threw his legs over the other side of the bed, ducking the comforter from their reach. Another look behind him after he got up and Jeff was looking expectantly at him, still splayed over one third of the bed. “Finish my breakfast for me, please,” Nick gave him another smile.

“Ugh, I didn’t mean to eat so much, I swear!”

“Not holding a grudge over it,” the brunet laughed just before closing the bathroom door.

Right then.

o0o0o

“ _Dude, I told you, we should have turned right while we had the chance..._ ”

“ _Now we’re doomed at a life of sorrow and starvation!_ ”

“ _Shut up, Dave. Like I was saying, let’s try to do a U-turn._ ”

“Whatever you say. It’s not like I know what I’m doing.” He did, however, think he had a better sense of direction than the buffoons in front of them.

“ _Right...Follow me._ ”

_What else can I do?!_

o0o0o

“Wow...”

For starters, maps always lie. Never trust a map. Never. They’re the inner demons of a society that’s been feeding on utopian truths for decades. It’s them.

Furthermore, despite being May, New York was cold. Very cold. Outrageously cold. Did the constitution allow it to be this cold?

“It’s...” Jeff spoke again and although his breath hadn’t condensed into a tiny cloud in front of him, he rubbed his arms again as the wind cut through his sweater.

“Cold?” Thad laughed and lead the way to the hotel, trying at the same time not to look too eager about getting inside.

“Yeah...” his response remained unheard and he forcefully disentangled his left arm from his tight grip in order to reach for Nick’s sleeve.

At least they didn’t have to walk back to the cars after checking in. Since they were only there for the weekend, they only had backpacks. And...okay now, really? Why was Nick’s hand so warm?

“You’re a radiator,” the blond mumbled as they waited for the way to clear up at the entrance.

“I thought I was a generator. Mom used to oil my joints every winter. She said I could light up the whole house.”

“Cheeky,” he gripped the brunet’s hand tighter, failing to hide a smile when he chuckled.

They were soon going to have other problems on their hands. Bigger problems. World changing problems. Like...who was sleeping in the bed with the bigger pillow?

Now that, _that_ was a really important, grown-up problem.

o0o0o

After their second breakfast that day (and Nick’s first), another major motion problem came in sight. Since they had taken three rooms in total, nobody had any fights about personal space or belongings. Frankly, the rooms were a little too big for them. And that’s saying something when you’re talking about six 17-year-olds. However, Wes had carried his clothes to the second floor like they were bags full of crystal shoes and he was Prince Charming on a quest to find Cinderella.

Which, unfortunately, wasn’t too far from the truth. The biggest problem of Wes’s life was if he should go for the green shirt, the purple sweater or the brown T-shirt.

“T-shirt,” Thad voiced out from his place in one of the armchairs.

For obvious reasons, all six of them were now in the same room. This was a grown-up conference.

“The green thing makes your eyes stand out, man,” David snickered from the bed and Wes glared at his reflection in the mirror uselessly.

Jeff was taking his time analysing Dave’s Rubik Cube MP3. He was taking all his sweet time and no one could catch his attention more than that little piece of electronic heaven. No matter how many glances Nick was throwing at him, he remained splayed across the bed, with his head hanging over the edge.

“Get the sweater, Wesley,” Trent finally found his pity glands and put them all out of their misery. Yes, because none of them was better at choosing decent clothing than Trent. Bless him.

“Uh...okay, I’ll take the sweater. Do you think I can, like, go behind the scene or something? Should I wait until they’re done?”

“Be chill...be the man...”

“You must swift as the coursing river...”

“Thad, don’t even start.”

Jeff still played with the MP3. Who ever thought about giving that thing so many options?

Kicking off the empty bottle of water that rebounded from Wes, to Thad and then to him, Trent harrumphed. “Why don’t you do the only sensible thing there is and ask Nick what to do? He’s the only one who hasn’t been exposed to as much madness as we have.”

Hearing his name, the brunet squinted. “Um...I’ve been rooming with Lewis, been dragged around by Cade and had breakfast with Aaron for the past few years. Where’s the part where I’ve been spared?”

“And went on almost double dates with Jane. That must count for something,” David chirped in.

The sigh was his only response. “Come to think of it, had Cade taken you on any of his dates lately?” Trent obnoxiously kept the subject changed.

“Not really. No. I stopped listening if he ever did ask that.” Really now. They were right.

“Excuse me, but...” Wes flailed a little, goggling at them. “Rachel?” A collective _Oh_. “Since I’m gonna take any of you with me, you may use this chance to make your presence acknowledged.”

A pause.

A connection is made. The others, perplexed.

“Wait, we’re not going with you? What are we here for, then?” Trent and Thad voiced out, the most bewildered of them all.

“Guys, it’s New York. You’re here to visit it, not to come with me at a school choir competition.”

“That’s his nice way of saying he doesn’t want us to embarrass him in front of the shorty,” David laughed.

“Half true,” Wes pointed at him and was just about to give 15 points to Ravenclaw when a low music started and Jeff kicked his feet excitedly on the bed.

“I unlocked it!”

o0o0o

 _Hmmmm_... Since they have finally managed to boost Wes’s self esteem to such a level that he almost called them ‘peasants’ before going to watch the Nationals – and Rachel. Before going to watch Rachel. Full stop. – the rest of them retreated to their rooms to get ready to go exploring. Or whatever they were going to do. It was still pretty early in the day.

 _Hmmmm_... Nick was taking a lot more to get ready the second time that day, Jeff observed as he watched him closely, chin in his hands. He’d felt a little weird following him with his eyes as he got ready for a shower. He’d felt weird for as much as 2 seconds.

But now, now Jeff knew that, sooner or later, Nick _had_ to take off that shirt. He did, right? So, he watched and waited. “Hmmmm...”

Nick took out another sweater and inspected it before putting it back on the chair. “I’ll be ready in a moment,” he then said without turning his head.

“Hmmmm...”

“Yes, Jeff?” he then turned with a small grin on his face. Unfortunately, it wasn’t an evil one. He was totally oblivious.

“Shower?” the blond gestured lazily, although his eyes could almost burn holes in that shirt. Nick narrowed his eyes for a few moments until he remembered that activity too. His lightbulb almost made a pop. “Don’t apologize, I know you’re the main cause of the world water problems.”

“Hey! I’m not that bad.” His smile almost made him forget about the shirt. Almost.

“Shirt,” Jeff said as he got up and crossed his legs on the bed. He even extended a hand, for dramatic purposes.

“Huh?” Nick blinked before looking, puzzled, at his empty hands.

“Your shirt. Give it to me.” He wriggled his fingers a little.

Nick simple looked from his hand to his eyes, back and forth, a few times before finally getting it and reaching for said article of clothing too. “What, like, now?” His smile was a little terrified.

Like a cold blooded wanna-be predator, Jeff shrugged. “Yes, since you’re gonna take the world drought in your hands with that shower.”

Nick was on the edge of saying something. He almost said it too, when he realised that acknowledging that you knew that your boyfriend wanted to see you shirtless was actually worse than just being aware of it. He guessed...he could play the oblivious a little bit longer.

“Oh—kay...” Now would have been the moment that somebody burst into the room just long enough so he could run and lock himself in the bathroom. A few seconds later, the door was still untouched. No such luck.

At least Jeff had lowered his hand now. It was less intimidating. Would it be easier to take it off step by step – if there were any steps on taking off your shirt – or by being as swift as possible? His hands decided that on their own and they’ve chosen the latter one.

Jeff’s eyes trailed fast over the larger and larger patch of skin that was being exposed, unconsciously biting his lip when he hovered just above the waistband. But as good things don’t last forever, he hadn’t even had the chance to raise his eyes towards Nick’s chest before the shirt was thrown over his face, perfectly obscuring everything.

That...little...sh—

Oh, nevermind. Before he could even manage a – not so playful, more like dark – growl, he got a layered kiss. That’s right. Through the fabric.

That little sh—ort mushroom.

The bathroom door clicked open and then closed.

o0o0o

To get back at his boyfriend for that really ungentlemanly move, Jeff took the liberty of borrowing his clothes for the day. If only for Nick’s face once he was out and changed and freshened from the shower and it was worth it. They were quite fitting and Jeff decided that he liked Nick’s sweaters a lot more than his own. They were softer and they smelled nicer. _Duh_.

And so, neatly folded in Nick-scented clothes and grinning like the world belonged to him since the moment the bathroom door opened, Jeff led their way to the beautiful landscape that was...a New York boulevard. Now, for the second part of this thing, it was true that neither of them had protested too much when Trent, David and Thad gave them wicked grins and pushed him in the opposite direction.

It looked like they were in for a date. Again. Not that they could complain, since they’ve only had one in their one month and a half of relationship. It wasn’t so bad, either. But it was still cold. Cold meant hand holding was perfectly justified on both sides.

“Nicky...”

The other’s smile remained on his lips as they walked down the street to God-knows-where, but he didn’t make a sound.

“Nick.”

“Yeah?” His smile was maybe a little too broad for Jeff to think he hadn’t been ignored the first time.

Like this, he narrowed his eyes susceptibly. “Where are we going?”

“No idea,” the other shrugged and pushed his fingertips under Jeff’s – his, it was _his_ sweater – long sleeve, resting them on his knuckles.

New York smelled different from Columbus, Jeff had a few silent moments to gather that information. The people looked slightly different too, even though he presumed it was more or less a self-induced thought. There were so many clouds that he wondered if they even had an hour before being drenched in water.

And maybe it was the atmosphere or just the anonymity of it all, but holding hands in plain sight felt safer there.

o0o0o

Kissing in Central Park was also nice.

o0o0o

“How do you think it went for Wes?” Jeff asked later that day over a large mug of tea – because, you know, he always drank tea while raining. Except he didn’t, really, but it felt like the sensible thing to do while they were waiting for their friends in a cosy diner.

“I’m hoping for the best, but I’m no expert,” Nick poured a little more milk in his own cup before stirring it just so he could try out the teaspoon. He then smiled into his drink when Jeff’s leg pressed softly on his calf under the table. “Ideally, they haven’t been caught in this rain.”

It was downright pouring and they had a good chance to look at the damages when their other three friends got out of a cab and stumbled into the cafe. Why they chose this location when it took them fifteen minutes to get there, the other two had no idea.

“Why are you so _dry_?” David asked as he hanged his wet jacket in a free spot.

They simply shrugged. “We were only two blocks away...”

“Charming. Okay, I’m starving. What’s this? Lunch? Dinner? Supper?” Thad placed himself at Nick’s side, followed by a very not amused and dripping wet Trent, while David took a place beside Jeff.

“Whatever you want, but be sure to take enough time so we don’t have to get out in _that_ anytime soon,” Trent basically said the magic words there. Eat as much as you can. And then more.

“Sounds like a plan!” David laughed before receiving the menus.

Who would’ve thought there were so many ways in which one could cook beef?

“So...any news from Wes?” Nick asked several minutes later, when they were done with their order and waiting calmly for the food.

The others snickered. “Ever since he threw a tantrum about not being able to find the place and then finding it, not really.”

o0o0o

Maybe his mother’s idea of all of them trying to become vegan wasn’t bad at all, after all. This thing tasted really good, in fact. Even though it reminded him of the guinea pig he had back in elementary school. It was a faithful, broccoli-eating friend.

“Jeff?”

“Hm?” he snapped out of it as fast as he could, turning his head towards David, vegetables still being stabbed by his fork.

“You know we’ve always though you’re not that much into talking...” his friend’s tone was weird and the words even weirder, so he quirked an eyebrow over his glasses.

“What?”

“...and that’s why we’ve never pressed you to be active in our conversations...”

“But I’m usually listening...” he started defending himself when Thad raised a hand on the other side of the table. Nick still had that blank look his face adopted while he was processing information.

“We thought you’re a wallflower,” Trent joked, clearly stealing Thad’s line, as the other slumped back into his seat.

“Uh...” Jeff was on all grounds failing to see where this was going.

“But since we’ve seen you talking to Nick in a day more than you do with us in a month – and since we’re obviously and justifiably jealous – we’ll make sure that from now on you’ll be shared between equals.” David really liked big phrases.

The blond tested a confused smile, which turned into a wide-eyed one the next moment.

“Did you just throw a pea at me?” the senior Warbler turned this time towards Nick, who was holding his fork in the air, blank expression melting into an amused grin.

“Mine,” he said and Jeff had a hard time squishing his meal in between the butterfly whirlwinds that had accumulated in his stomach. Stupid word.

o0o0o

This was certainly not something he had expected. “You have really strange pyjamas,” he deadpanned from the bathroom door.

“You’re wearing Spiderman pants...”

Now, he smiled. “I’m me, it’s justifiable.” As he got to his own bed and sat down on it, the one metre and a half to Nick’s bed felt really, really far away. “You have little grey cars on yours,” he bit his lip over his chuckle, but the brunet didn’t even mock a glare.

“I was trying to be funny,” he continued to smile, but he tugged a little at his blank white T-shirt, trying to make his grey pants seem a little more normal. “It didn’t work. Better luck next time,” he said afterwards, following his boyfriend’s hands as they were taking down his glasses.

“They’re cute.”

“Are you saying that now, that you can’t see them well anymore?” Nick cracked up, making him laugh too. “That’s a really nice gesture, Jeff,” he giggled, holding his ankles tighter, still wondering if he should go over. As was previously remarked by the other, one metre and a half is a serious distance.

There was something unexpectedly foreign about seeing his boyfriend without his glasses. It wasn’t either in a bad or in a good way, but his expressions looked really different like this. It made Nick feel like an explorer, sometime, but it went as long as he didn’t start thinking about wearing shorts and funny hats.

He wondered how long people usually took before being able to sleep in the same bed. Which was ridiculous because they’ve done that before and _what the hell are you even thinking about, Nick? You’ve slept together as soon as the possibility was offered to you_. No biggie.

Too bad these particular beds were a little too small for Jeff’s hugging syndrome. But a good night kiss couldn’t hurt, could it? “Be up at seven tomorrow,” he said as he crossed the distance and then pressed his lips against the other’s blond locks.

“I’ll wake you up,” Jeff grinned, once again bragging about his early bird feathers. They had an interrogation to assist to tomorrow.

o0o0o

“Spit it out. Spit it all out.” Thad went as far as obstructing his shirt in order to get all the details.

“I’m not telling you anything while you can still stalk me through New York City and give me back my shirt. No, don’t even think about stalking. I can still get you grounded back at school.”

All in all, none of them had that much success in getting information. More time to get lost in the city, then. Which they did. A lot. Not even the GPS helped some of them.

 

 


	22. Year of dust

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And this was it.  
> I really miss writing this.  
> Not fair.

“What have you been doing?”

He sighed and leant back on his pillow. He was home alone again that late summer and the air conditioning was still a little off, so the skin on his arms was getting unusually chilly. “Nothing much. I’d almost forgotten how boring this used to be.”

There was a pause and he could swear the other was biting his lip over quite a few sentences. “Tell me about it.” So he settled for that in the end.

Okay now...It was really, _really_ cold. “What’s wrong with that beast!”

“Huh?”

“Um...nothing. It’s cold.” He pulled the blanket up to his chin. Better.

Nick chuckled. “Are you actually complaining about that?”

And Jeff held the phone tighter. “A little. You should feel this air. I’m thinking about building an igloo in the living room.”

Another laugh. “Which one?”

“Hey!” He bit his tongue over his own laughter. “The one downstairs. Maybe someone will see it and finally repair that thing.”

He felt the constant need to clench his fingers tighter around the phone and he was pretty sure that if it had a cord, it would’ve been long gone. It just wasn’t fair that they were almost reaching the end of the second month since they’ve last seen each other. It wasn’t fair that he didn’t know he could get this anxious and sad over it.

“I heard the rain’s getting better over there...”

Another moment of silence and he was scared they were losing connection again. But then he heard his voice once more. “Yeah, but everything’s still a mess. I’m sorry. I know I-...I really want to come back.”

Stupid France with its stupid rainfalls and its stupid non-waterproof old houses. “It’s okay. Just be careful not to get crushed to dust by anything there...”

“Nothing can get me. Also, when we get back, please don’t let mom show you any photos. They’re worse than a flu commercial.”

“Who makes commercials for flu? Do people buy it now?”

“Oh, shut up. You know them too.”

He smiled at the ceiling.

“The ones you rambled about for 20 minutes before and after a movie? Of course I do.”

“I’m pretty sure it wasn’t that long.”

“Yes, it was.”

“No...”

“We’ll decide when you get back then.”

Wishful thinking, wishful thinking, wishful thinking. Nick wasn’t going to stay there forever, after all. ...Right? He still had a month to come back. Maybe he could get back sooner. Maybe. But in any case, they still had an entire year of seeing each other’s goofy faces daily.

“I will as soon as we’re sure grandpa’s house won’t fall into mushy pieces on the grass. Which is also mushy.” He giggled. “You’re mushy.”

He did it again. “It just sounds so funny when you say that.”

“Say it.” Nick actually managed a serious voice for that.

“Ne-eever!” But he was laughing, so he was a lost cause.

“Now.”

“...Mushy.”

Jeff then heard a satisfied sigh at the end of the line. “By the way...” Nick started after a few moments and there was a hint of something in his voice now. “Thanks.”

“No...” he said, but he couldn’t suppress a grin.

“No no! Let me...” the other drew his breath. “Thanks for...replacing my iPod,” he deadpanned.

Jeff blinked twice. “Nick, I always thought you were supposed to be more romantic!”

“Well, the rain’s got to me. It’s substituting my blood now.”

“Substitu--... _Nick_.”

He heard the grin and the beginning of a sentence which failed to come. He heard another breath and a few halves of words but still nothing. “Love you.”

“Oh, my God...”

Nick’s tone changed quicker than he thought possible. “Hey! You were just schooling me here!”

But he was still wailing soundlessly at the ceiling, blanked held tight in one hand. “Oh, my God! I love you back, just go and plant a brick somewhere now!”

His plan was that of hanging up, for the dramatic effect, but he couldn’t do that when Nick was laughing on the other side. “I will. See ya.”

“You too. Good night.”

“Right. Good night for you.”

“Thanks.”

o0o0o

There were a lot of things that could keep him on edge while being on a plane and above the Atlantic, but Nick couldn’t for the life of him figure out what to do with this particular feeling. Suddenly and out of the blue, everything seemed to approach an ending and he wondered when years started to look so short.

He remembered that a year before he had no idea what his junior year was going to be like and he wondered why he didn’t even think about it. Now he could do little else but think of the last year of high school that was waiting for him at the end of the month.

His state of being was suddenly shattered in six:

  1. Dread, because he feared that things could go just as abruptly as they came and come to think of it, Jeff appeared pretty unexpectedly in his life.
  2. Excitement, because he hadn’t seen him or anybody on that matter for almost two months.
  3. Excitement #2, for reasons he didn’t think appropriate to think about in an airplane.
  4. Shame for number 3.
  5. Nervousness, because he couldn’t stay on that sharp line between this and excitement.
  6. Happiness, just because he was _so_ happy right now. He feared to think why.



His grandma gave him two full bowls of fortune cookies in his last week there. He settled for one or two each day. There were just so many.

_Whenever possible, keep it simple._

What was he going to do after this year was over? He tried to tell himself it hasn’t even begun yet.

_You will live long and enjoy life._

_Maybe it’s just the airport water_ , he thought as he tried yet again to drift to sleep. Maybe he was tired. He’d suffered from jetlag the entire time there.

_Bake a melon cake._

Eventually, he fell asleep just a few hours before they got to the New York airport.

o0o0o

Jeff squinted at the screen, holding the pen tighter. He didn’t recall _Mario_ being so hard to play. He was getting old. So old. Incredibly old. Old as... Oh, look, he did it! He couldn’t suppress his grin as he went to the next level.

On the background (the real life background, that is) he could hear an army of grubs. _Children_. An army of CHILDREN playing in the nearby park. The park inside the park, better said. They had a (not so) little colony going on there, amidst their colourful plastic toys and weird-shaped swings. Where did the normal swings go, by the way?

Oh, and were they screaming... Jeff was almost going to turn up the volume of his headphones a few times, stopping at the last second just because he didn’t want Nick to catch him off guard. Again. For the fourth time, that would be.

Like this, he stuck with listening _Early Sunsets Over Monroeville_ as quietly as he could and crossed his feet in front of him on the bench. He didn’t check if he was early or if Nick was late, but as long as he was safely shadowed by an oak from the sun, he was okay. He had enough battery to go on until sunset if necessary. Not that he wanted that. He didn’t want that at all. He had even ironed his clothes for the day. Yes, even his jeans.

Three levels later and by the time the chorus of _Rubber Ring_ started, someone threw his backpack beside his thigh. “Hello,” Jeff said without raising his eyes yet. Because game. And because he was suddenly frozen. When did he start doing this?

“Hi,” Nick’s voice made its way to him like a band-aid over a scratch he forgot he had and his fingers started tingling as soon as the brunet placed his chin on his shoulder to look at his current game.

“Just...a...second,” he twisted his wrist quickly. “There!” Level completed. Chin retracted. Unfortunately. Jeff opened his mouth to say something as he looked at him, but he stopped soon enough and just stared.

“Yeah?” Nick smiled pleasantly, still turned towards him on the bench, but Jeff was too absorbed by the way his bangs got in his possibly brighter eyes to say anything.

His hair went a little past his ears now and good god, why was he looking like _that_? Nick tilting his head slowly to the side, his weird, _awful_ , awfully black hair _following_ his movement definitely didn’t help. He gulped and pointed at it.

“Huh? A-aaah. Yeah, this,” he chuckled as if there was nothing wrong and touched a wayward strand. “It got a little long, but I didn’t trust anyone there with it. Are you okay?” He tried to grin.

Jeff blinked. Finally. “Yeah, just let me...” he disentangled his legs and leant over to run his hand through Nick’s bangs until he could see his forehead. As soon as he took it back, his hair fell back over it and that in itself was a surprise, since usually it was acting like it had a life of its own.

“Grandma did something to soften it after she first saw me in the morning,” Nick laughed and shook his head a little to make a path for his eyes to see.

With _Na Na Na (Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na)_ still booming quietly in his head from the askew headphones, he got a little more energetic. “That poor woman,” he grinned and ran both his hands through his hair now before giving him a short Eskimo kiss.

And then he backed away a little “Oh...children.” Damned grubs.

“Sing them to sleep,” his boyfriend smirked, as he stole his headphones and placed them on his own head.

This was still not helping. Everything that day was only making him more handsome. Maybe it was just the fact that Jeff hadn’t seen him for two months. He briefly wondered if the feeling was mutual.

And then his iPod was stolen from him too as Nick got more comfortable on the bench and started scrolling through it. “I brought you something,” he said without looking up, gesturing with one hand at the dark green backpack between them.

Waiting for a glance that came only after a couple dozen seconds, Jeff finally proceeded to unzip it and look inside. “...Why do you have so many fortune cookies here?” he asked quietly, not really expecting Nick to hear over the music, but apparently he did.

“Long bedtime story. Dig deeper.” Was his iPod all that interesting?

“Yeah, that’s what she said,” Jeff mumbled, missing the wide-eyed stare Nick gave him afterwards. He reached the end of it and took out a thin package wrapped in yellow paper. He took it off carefully. “What’s this...?” he stared at it and it looked familiar and fairy complicated at the same time. “A...a...um...”

“A kite.”

“Right! Whoah,” he finished unwrapping it and it looked really different from the things he used back in his early childhood. “This looks so...professional!”

“Really?” Now Nick was actually looking at him, fully focused. That gave him an idea.

“Did you...make it?” He glanced again at his present.

There was a moment of silence before the answer came. “Ye-aah. My dad found an old kit and taught me.”

Jeff looked around soon enough, only to sigh disappointedly. No wind or anything. “Can we try it together sometime?”

“Of course.”

“Why are you blushing?”

Nick smiled towards his iPod again. “’m not.”

“Yeaaah. Right.” He grinned, packing the kite again to put it safely in his messenger bag. “Can I take one?” his finger circled the air above the backpack.

“Help yourself.”

It took him longer than one would declare normal to choose one. There were so many! At least they were wrapped individually. But what if his fortune would change his whole life? What _if_? He couldn’t take this task lightly. Finally, he chose one.

“Um...Nick?”

“Yeah?”

“Why does my fortune cookie say ‘I know where you live’?”

Nick did that little laugh he started doing early in their relationship and that he always blamed on invisible laughing gnomes. It made him giggle too as he got another cookie and threw it at him.

_Tuesday’s a good day to wear red shoes._

The brunet pushed the headphones to hang around his neck and glanced up at him. And then around them once. And then back at him, closer now. Jeff’s lips tasted like vanilla ice-cream and ginger. He wondered where that came from.

They’ve been smiling serenely at each other for some time when Jeff chose to speak again. “How well do you usually handle angry mommies, Nick?”

He widened his eyes without daring to look behind him at the spot Jeff was apparently smiling at. “Uh...”

“Wanna find out?” his boyfriend raised an eyebrow over his glasses and smirked.

“Not really?” he breathed.

“Then we’d better move.”

“Brilliant idea.” He was already throwing his backpack over his shoulder and getting to his feet.

“That’s what you’ve got me for.”

o0o0o

_A great year awaits you._

There was a place nobody was fool enough to get to at that hour in the evening. But they’ve been there for an hour already, waiting to see the sun sink down over Columbus. The grass was a little dry under them and the air was finally getting chillier.

_Your heart is a place to draw true happiness._

“I missed you.” Jeff searched and waited for his hand and once he reached it, held on tight.

“I missed you even before I knew you.”

_If you continually give, you will continually have._

Bumping their shoulders a little together, Jeff chuckled. “Worked on your romantic side?”

“Ate a lot of cheese,” Nick grinned, taking in the way the orange light hit the buildings around the park.

“I bet you did.”

_Your life will be happy and peaceful._

They had one more year in which they needn’t worry as much, but they still did. Who knew what could happen in one entire year? When they looked at each other, they saw what 6 months could bring somebody.

Who knew what they could take away from them too? They held on tighter, temples touching, grass crunching beneath their weight.

_Oops...wrong cookie._

 “Can I not let you grow apart from me?”

“Never let me do that.”

_Don't ask, don't say. Everything lies in silence._

Darkness fell too quick for a summer day. There were moths flying around a lamp on their left.

“I’ll never let you grow apart either.”

“Thank you.”

_Wear a shirt inside-out._

There was only a year before the rest of their lives.


End file.
